Out of Turn (45 page)

I studied myself in the mirror. The bridesmaid dress looked perfect. I’d decided to wear my hair half up and half down, the sides pulled up and back in a cascade of waves. The cut from James had healed, only a few marks remained on my neck from the collar, and I’d used makeup to disguise those. I wore four-inch sandals the same pale pink as the dress, and even my short legs looked long with the combination of the shoes and the short skirt.

I had a drink to calm my nerves, then headed to the wedding, both hoping I’d see them and terrified that I would.

The mansion was beautiful in the late afternoon light, dapples of sunshine breaking through the shade provided by the large oaks that grew by the house. I parked the car and took a deep breath before getting out.

The members of the wedding party were on the second floor, which is where the wedding planner sent me. When I stepped into the dressing room provided for the bride, my breath caught.

“Clarice! You look beautiful,” I said, moving forward to give her a careful hug. I didn’t want to mess her up. Her dress was a simple white gown with lace adorning the bodice. The same pale pink as the bridesmaids’ dresses accented hers. Her face was wreathed with smiles.

“It turned out great, didn’t it?” she asked.

“Absolutely!”

Clarice’s sister was there as her maid of honor and we got to know each other while Clarice finished her makeup. The florist came by to give us each a bouquet.

“Have some champagne,” Clarice said, handing me a flute filled with the bubbly golden liquid.

“Where are the kids?” I asked.

“My mom has them corralled downstairs, to keep them from messing up their clothes,” Clarice said, taking a sip from her own flute. “So who’d you bring to the wedding?”

“No one,” I said, draining my glass.

Clarice frowned and started to say something, but I gave her a tiny shake of my head. I really didn’t want to talk about it, especially in front of her sister, who I didn’t know. Clarice seemed to get the message, because she changed the subject.

The three of us laughed and chatted while we waited, finishing the champagne. I tried hard to just be happy for Clarice and not think about how, if Blane and I had not broken up, I’d have been getting married soon, too.

The wedding planner came up to get us when it was time for the processional, and I checked my makeup in the mirror before following Clarice out into the hallway and down the stairs. I was really glad of the champagne. My head was a little fuzzy and I could smile, both of which would make it much easier to walk down that aisle as a bridesmaid instead of a bride.

The sun was setting and the garden where the pristine white chairs were set up was aglow with strings of lamps. The air was thick with the scent of hydrangeas and roses. Music started playing—they’d hired a string quartet—and the soft strains of a violin meant it was time to begin.

The groomsman who was to escort me was a nice guy named Neal who taught with Jack. He said he had a girlfriend, which was a relief because I certainly didn’t want
to have to deal with anyone hitting on me tonight. A head taller than me, he was a nice-looking guy who coached the high school baseball team. I took his arm and he grinned at me, oblivious to my jangling nerves.

I pasted a smile on my face and walked down the aisle, trying not to look on the left side. Unfortunately, there were only about a hundred people in all and my eyes were drawn unerringly to Blane and Kade.

Both were dressed immaculately in suits and neither of them gave even a flicker of recognition when they saw me, their expressions blank. My smile turned brittle and I glanced away, but not before I noticed Charlotte sitting between them.

The surge of anger and jealousy I felt didn’t surprise me in the slightest.

My hand resting on Neal’s arm started to tremble. He caught my eye and gently laid his hand over mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He probably thought I was nervous. I clutched his sleeve and concentrated hard on putting one foot in front of the other. When Neal deposited me at the end of the aisle, I breathed a sigh of relief.

The rest of the processional and ceremony was a blur, as I tried not to feel the weight of their stares on me. Maybe they weren’t staring, who knows, but it felt like they were. My entire body was as stiff as a wooden statue and I prayed for it to be over. Someone got up and began to sing a song after Clarice and Jack exchanged vows, and I squeezed my eyes shut in dismay.

My skin was warm, then cold, and I couldn’t seem to feel my feet any longer. I stared at the candles directly in front
of me, their flames gently flickering in the warm twilight breeze, and didn’t even notice when everything went dark.

I opened my eyes and immediately realized what had happened. I’d passed out
in a wedding
, for crying out loud. This was a new low. Thank God that girl was still singing the song. Hopefully, I hadn’t been out long.

“Are you all right?” Blane asked softly, crouching down next to me.

I nodded, mortified. “Help me up, please.”

He helped me to my feet and I saw Clarice watching me with worry in her eyes. I smiled to let her know I was okay.

“Sit down for a moment,” Blane said. He didn’t wait for an answer, but led me to the front row where there were several empty chairs.

I sank into one and was surprised to see Blane take the seat next to me. He had my bouquet in his hand and set it on the chair beside him.

Blane looked at me, leaning close to whisper in my ear, “You’re as white as a sheet, Kat.” He took my hand, squeezing it in his much larger grip. “You haven’t eaten today, have you.”

I avoided answering the non-question, though why he cared, I had no idea. He should hate me now. “Shhh,” I hushed him, keeping my eyes on the bride and groom. They looked so in love, gazing into each other’s eyes. My own eyes stung and I refused to blink as the figures of Jack and Clarice gradually grew more and more blurry. The man
holding my hand had
almost
been the one to stand at my side and pledge his life and love to me.

Finally, I had to blink, two tears spilling from my eyes to trace down my cheeks. I hurriedly brushed them away as Blane handed me a snowy-white handkerchief. I dabbed my wet eyes as he leaned toward me again.

“I know everything you told me and Kade was bullshit.”

I jerked back, my panicked gaze flying to his, but there was no telling what he was thinking.

I looked away, handing his handkerchief back to him as the song ended. “Flowers, please,” I requested, avoiding his eyes.

Blane wordlessly handed me the bouquet and I resumed my place next to Clarice’s sister.

A few minutes later, I was again taking Neal’s arm to walk back down the aisle. I didn’t look at Blane, but Kade caught my eye. His face was empty of all expression as he looked at me, and I didn’t know whether to be glad that he wasn’t still angry or upset that apparently he felt nothing at all.

Everything inside me hurt and I gladly accepted the drink Neal got for me as we sat down at the head table.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Just embarrassed,” I said with a shrug.

“Who was the guy?”

I hesitated. “My ex.”

Neal’s brows lifted. “For an ex, he sure flew up there fast enough,” he said. “You’d barely hit the floor before he was there.”

I finished my drink. “Mind if I have another?” I asked.

Neal grinned. “I’d be drinking if my ex was here, too,” he said conspiratorially.

I didn’t even mention that the man I was in love with was also there, and that he happened to be my ex’s brother. Maybe if I had, Neal would have just brought me back the whole damn bottle. As it was, he kindly kept refilling my glass as we ate dinner, making me laugh with stories about the kids he taught. Afraid that Blane was watching, I managed to get a few bites down.

As the waiters cleared the dessert dishes away, Neal leaned over to me. “So who’s the guy I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley that’s staring at us?” he teased. “He looks ready to kill me.”

I glanced over to see Kade standing by the wall, drink in hand, watching me. The look on his face was one I knew well, and it sent a familiar shiver of foreboding through me. If Neal knew just how capable Kade was of killing him, he wouldn’t joke about it.

“Another ex?” Neal asked.

I grimaced. “Sort of.”

“No worries,” he said. “I kind of like the idea of playing knight in shining armor.” He grinned, a dimple appearing in his cheek.

I smiled my thanks. Neal was a nice guy and I thought his girlfriend was a lucky woman.

Clarice and Jack danced their first wedding song and I sipped champagne as I watched. She looked so happy. Halfway through, Clarice’s youngest child, a five-year-old named Mary, ran out onto the dance floor with them. Jack hoisted her into his arms with a laugh, holding her with one arm while wrapping the other around Clarice. I was so glad for them. Jack was a good man who loved Clarice and her children.

When it was time for the members of the wedding party to dance, Neal took my hand and led me onto the floor. Clarice and Jack looked sweet and I watched them over Neal’s shoulder.

The song ended, melding into another tune. I recognized the opening strains of “Someone to Watch Over Me” when I heard him.

“Mind if I cut in?”

Neal’s face lost its friendliness as he looked at Blane. “That’s up to the lady,” he said stiffly.

“It’s okay,” I said with more confidence than I felt.

Neal reluctantly released me and I turned to face Blane. He took me in his arms and spun me away from Neal.

I’d imagined Blane and me dancing at our wedding, but it hadn’t been quite like this. I felt as though I were made of glass, moments away from shattering completely.

“This is unnecessarily cruel, don’t you think?” I asked stiffly.

“What are you talking about?”

I looked up at him, into his gray eyes, and the look on my face must have clued him in, because his hold on me gentled and his face softened.

“You don’t think this is killing me, too?” he asked, pulling me closer.

“Then why?”

“Because I’ve been thinking,” he said. “Replaying everything in my head, because it just doesn’t make any sense.”

I said nothing.

“What you said doesn’t line up with what I know about you,” he continued. “You never gave a damn about being a governor’s wife. You’d never sell me out to the press, and
you’d sooner take the fall for Kade than turn him in to the cops. The only thing you’ve ever really cared about… is the relationship between Kade and me.”

My gaze dropped from his and I stared at his tie. Perfectly knotted, as always.

“Look at me, Kat,” he ordered, and I had to obey. “You played us. Both of us. Because you knew how I’d react to Kade being hurt, threatened. Those things you said, they were all lies. You lied to both of us.”

My heart sank. I should have known Blane would see through it. His job made him an expert at reading people, divining their motivations, and finding the facts underneath their lies. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fool Blane any longer. I was surprised I ever had.

“That’s not true—” I said weakly, but Blane jerked me closer, squeezing the air from my chest.

“Isn’t it?” he snapped. “Tell me the truth, goddammit.”

I couldn’t take any more. “I told you once that I wasn’t going to come between you two,” I blurted. “So I did what I had to do. Now you and Kade can put the pieces back together and move on. I was only making things worse. You know that.”

“Who the hell do you think you are to just decide to walk away?” he retorted. “Do we mean nothing to you?”

“You and Kade mean everything to me!” I protested. “I made the only choice I could. Please, Blane, just let it go. Let
me
go.”

“You love me… but you’re in love with Kade, too.” It wasn’t a question.

A wave of pure sadness enveloped me. “Does it matter?”

“Yes, it fucking matters!”

The stubborn set of Blane’s jaw made my stomach clench in knots. He couldn’t tell Kade. It would just hurt him and leave the two of them in a worse situation than before. Kade had never cared what happened between him and Blane if it meant he and I could be together. But I did. And even if Kade didn’t realize it sometimes, he needed Blane more than he needed me.

“You can’t tell Kade,” I implored. “Promise me—”

“Can’t tell me what?”

My eyes slipped closed in dismay at the sound of Kade’s voice behind me.

Whatever communication they had must have been silent, because the next thing I knew, Blane let me go, spinning me around into Kade’s arms.

Kade’s piercing blue eyes seemed to devour me as we turned slowly on the dance floor. He was heartbreakingly lovely and I drank him in, my fingers itching to push back the lock of inky black hair that had fallen over his brow.

I wondered if Blane had shared his suspicions with Kade about the things I’d said, but that question was answered by the next words out of his mouth.

“So what is Blane not supposed to tell me? That you were just fucking him, too?” He put his lips by my ear and hissed, “So tell me, which brother’s better in bed?”