Outside the Lines (29 page)

“Sherm . . .” I stuff my hands in my pockets and hang my head. “I miss you. I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was, but I love you more than anything. Someday, if you can forgive me, just know I'll be here.” I back toward the door feeling a pulsing lump rise in my throat. “I'll always be here for you, whenever you're ready.”

“I'm sorry,” he whispers. When I lift my gaze, tears are rolling down his face.

My heart lurches and my gut knots. “There's nothing in this whole world for you to be sorry about, champ.”

“It was my fault.” His voice is so small I barely hear it.

Burn whimpers and jumps up onto Sherm's bed, licking his face. He pulls the dog to his chest as a hole opens in mine.

“What do you think was your fault, Sherm?”

More tears spill onto his face. “I made you kill him.”

Ice water hits my veins in a rush, and I feel suddenly sick. “Christ, no, Sherm. Don't ever think that. None of it had anything to do with you.”

He's shaking and gripping Burn so hard that the dog whimpers again. “I was too scared. I wasn't brave enough.”

I step closer and tamp down my shock. “That's not true. He was going to hurt you, but if it had been Ulie or Grant or Lee, I would have done the same thing. I didn't mean to kill anyone, but . . .” I shake my head and fight not to lower my gaze. “I'll do whatever it takes to keep my family safe, Sherm, and that's
my
decision. None of it is your fault.”

He shrinks lower and covers his face with his hands as Burn walks in a circle and settles into his lap.

I sit on the edge of the bed and rest a hand on his knee, and my heart breathes a relieved sigh when he doesn't flinch away. “I love you, champ. You're the most important person in the world to me, and I'll never let anything happen to you. But what happened that night . . . it wasn't your fault.”

He clambers across the bed and wraps his arms around my neck, and my damp eyes overflow.

I scrub the back of my hand across my face. “It's going to be okay, Sherm.”

I hold him so tight that I'm surprised I don't break something, but I can't force myself to loosen my grip.

“Are you going to marry Miss Wilson?” he asks with a sniffle into my shoulder.

So, we've moved onto my next transgression.

“Maybe down the road, if she'll have me.” I take a deep breath. “I know Adri is special to you. She's amazing, and I know there's no way not to fall in love with her. I know this because I fell in love with her too. But I think the thing with Adri is, she's got about the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met, and I'm willing to bet there's room in there for all of us.”

He pulls out of my shoulder and looks at me. “Lee told me never to fall in love with anybody.”

My eyebrows rise. “Did she?”

He nods.

I tweak his nose. “Listen, buddy. Why don't you go to bed, and tomorrow, you, me, and Adri will do something special together, okay?”

“Shark boat!” he shouts.

I smile. “I'm not sure you're going to get her on board with that, but you can ask.”

Despite my heavy heart at Sherm's revelation, I feel more optimistic than I have since this all started. “Good night, Sherm,” I say, standing and clicking off his light. I make my way downstairs and find Lee alone in the living room watching TV, Crash curled at her feet.

“He thought it was his fault that I killed the hit man,” I say, sinking wearily onto the sofa next to her.

Lee's eyes widen in disbelief. “Why would he think that?”

I shrug. “The gun was pointed at him. He somehow got it in his head that I killed that guy because he wasn't brave enough.”

“Wow. I never would have realized he was thinking that. He never said anything to me.”

I shake my head. “All along, I thought it was me he was afraid of, but it was himself.”

“He's okay?”

“I think so.”

“So can we get rid of the dogs now?” she says, shoving her foot into Crash's side.

I laugh despite myself. “I'll let you break that to him.”

She fixes me in a gaze that I can't read. “Do you think we'll ever be able to go back?”

“I don't know if I want to. All along, I've wanted us to get our lives back, but maybe it's not about getting anything back. Maybe it's about moving forward, knowing everything's going to be different now. I'm just starting to figure out that different doesn't always mean worse. What if we can create something new and awesome instead of always looking over our shoulders?”

I realize it's despair in her gaze when it intensifies at my words and a tear slips over her lashes.

“We're figuring this out, Lee. We've survived this long, and all hell isn't raining down on us. We're getting by. Everyone's fed and we have a roof over our heads. We're going to be okay.”

She nods and wipes away the tear, but there's still a sadness in her eyes. “We'll all just start over. Rebuild ourselves from the ground up. As long as we stick together, no one's going to get to us.”

Suddenly the house is plunged into darkness and Crash howls at Lee's feet. In less time than it takes my racing heart to beat, I'm off the sofa, cursing myself for leaving my Glock upstairs.

“Rob?” Lee asks into the dark of the room, her voice sounding much calmer than I'm feeling. “Did you pay the electric bill?”

The adrenaline rush ebbs instantly, but my heart still hammers. “I thought you did.”

She sighs. “Okay . . . no one's going to get to us except Florida Power and Light.”

I blow out a laugh. Maybe we don't have it all figured out yet, but we're getting there.

Lisa Desrochers
is the author of the
USA Today
bestselling A Little Too Far series and the YA Personal Demons trilogy. She lives in northern California with her husband, two very busy daughters, and Shini the tarantula. There is never a time that she can be found without a book in her hand, and she adores stories that take her to new places and then take her by surprise.

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