Outside The Lines (10 page)

“
You knew
nothing
about the truth. Not that it was any of your business,” Blake shot back, anger churning through his gut hard enough to make his vision slip. “Jesus, Mom. Are you seriously so far inside the elite society box that you think shit like where you live or how you were raised actually defines a person?”

His mother didn’t move.
“Your happiness is absolutely my business. I was only doing what I thought was best for you. These things matter more than you think.”

“Jules mattered
more than you think!” The words exploded from his mouth, and he turned back to Jules, desperate for the truth. “Why did you leave me eight years ago? Was it because of this? Was it?”

For a split second of suspended time, hope burned, low and bright and hot in his chest.
Surely she’d believe how he felt about her now over what his mother was saying, and what she’d done. Surely, Jules would finally trust him with all of her heart the way he’d trusted her with all of his.

Surely she wouldn’t run.

But then Jules shifted her weight, just slightly toward the door, and that hope flickered out.

“I left you for the same reason I can’t stay now. Your mother is right, Blake.” Although her eyes filled with tears, she didn’t hesit
ate as she started to move. “Those things do matter. I believe you deserve everything she wants for you. But I also believe that’s not me. I’m sorry.”

And she walked out the door without looking back.

CHAPTER
TEN

Jules stood on the periphery of Brentsville’s City Commons, her nose buried in her careworn notebook even though she knew the plan on the pages by heart. Although the sky had barely lost the purple-pink of fresh dawn, she and the catering crew from Mac’s had already been at it for hours, prepping and packing and transporting what they’d need to feed everyone at today’s Carnival For A Cure.

It had been the first time ever that having her hands on food hadn’t given Jules even an ounce of comfort.
Not that she hadn’t tried. But even the things that normally set her to rights made her think of Blake, of what he might be doing or thinking or seeing right now.

And she missed him. It had been two days, and she’d missed him every second.

“Okay, now that all of the trucks are here and the main food tent is set up, let’s get the grills unloaded.” She sent the directive at three of the guys who had volunteered for heavy lifting, clamping down on the ache taking over her chest. She had work to do— tons of it, actually— and it was counter-productive to think about where Blake was and what he might be doing, or how close he might be to her at this very minute.

Right. She’d just have to work around the ache, then.

“Do you want them set up according to the schematic?” asked one of the volunteers, holding up a copy of the site map of their area, and Jules nodded.

“I
have all the permits in case anyone asks for them, but someone from the Brentsville FD is supposed to come check on the setup.”

“That sounds like my cue.” A deep voice rumbled from over her shoulder, and Jules swung toward it, her pulse skipping up a notch in her veins.

“Well color me impressed,” she said, unable to help the tiny smile lifting the corners of her mouth at the sight of the rough-edged firefighter in front of her. “You don’t strike me as a get-out-of-bed-early kind of guy, lieutenant.”

“What makes you think I’ve been to bed yet, Cupcake?” Aaron’
s near-black eyebrows disappeared beneath the brim of his faded blue Brentsville Fire Department baseball hat as he leaned in to give her a friendly hug, and yeah, given his track record for crazy, the guy totally had a point.

“
Fair enough, I guess. So do you want to watch my guys do the setup on those things?” Jules pointed to the back of the equipment truck, where her crew was already unloading one of the commercial-grade portable grills to the near side of the tent.

“
Nah. You run a tight ship. I’ll double-check ‘em when they’re done, but I’m sure they’ll be up to spec. In the meantime, you wouldn’t happen to have any coffee, would you? Man cannot live on adrenaline alone.”

“Oh, sure. There’s some in the service truck, right here.”
They crossed the grass to the white-paneled food service truck, where Jules had made sure there was enough coffee to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool. She led the way up the two steps leading to the narrow galley space, grabbing a cup from the stainless steel counter by the coffee urns.

“So, now that we’ve got a minute, do you want to talk about this?
” Aaron asked, screeching Jules’s movements to a halt over the Styrofoam to-go cup in her hands. “And please don’t insult me by asking
about what
. There’s no bullshitting a bullshitter, not even for someone as tough as you.”

“You don’t pull any punches, do you?” Jules asked, mostly to buy herself time, but Aaron didn’t budge.

“Nope. Out with it.”

As if on cue, her defenses snapped to life, but their intensity was short-lived. “It’s complicated.”

“Jesus, woman. You sound like my cousin.” He shook his head over a wistful smile. “Why are you two so determined to do this the hard way?”

“We’re not doing this
any
way,” Jules said in a rush, wishing like hell she could shake the vulnerable waver in her voice. “His mother is right, Aaron. A woman like me isn’t meant for him. He deserves better.”

“But he wants you.”

Aaron took the half-full cup from her hand, setting it on the counter before turning back to serve her with an expression of pure honesty. “And you want him, too, don’t you?”

She grasped for her tough veneer, but it slipped through her fingers, leaving her to whisper, “I do. But his mother—”

“Jules, please. I love my aunt, and I respect that she’s protective of her son, but she’s full of shit on this. Take a look outside that window.”

Jules blinked. “What?”

“The window.” He pointed to the large rectangular service window used to pass food from the truck to anyone outside, and she followed the trajectory to the commons beyond. “What do you see?”

“Um, the food service tent?”

“Do you see anyone sitting around? Anyone not sure of what they’re supposed to be doing?”

“No.” She’d made extensive lists of each volunteer position, with tasks from setup to breakdown, personally making
triple sure every person in a bright yellow staff shirt had a copy. “But what does that have to do with Blake’s mother?”

“
Nothing, actually. It has to do with you.”

Jules opened her mouth, but Aaron cut her protest off with a lift of his hand.

“Look, I know a thing or two about being the black sheep of the Fisher family. My aunt might’ve thought she was looking out for her son, but she judged you unfairly. I get that your life hasn’t been a bed of roses.” He paused, the hard line of his shoulders knotting ever further. “But you organized one hell of a charity event. You’re a good person, Jules. And if you care about Blake like I think you do, you’ll realize that not only does
he
believe in you, but what everyone else thinks doesn’t matter.”

Oh. Oh, God, what had she done?

“But I’ve hurt him so much already,” Jules said, the ache in her chest expanding with realization. “I believe him, but I don’t think I can fix this.

But Aaron just smiled. “Do you want to?”

Jules shook her head. “Of course I want to. But it’s too late for that.”

“
Lucky for you, I love bad odds. What do you say, Cupcake? You got a plan for too late?”

Whether it was the family resemblance or
the playful smirk or the plain truth finally rebounding through her ribcage, Jules couldn’t be sure. But in that moment, she knew Jeremy’s philosophy was right.

I
t was past time to start believing in herself and living life out loud. And if she wanted to land on her feet, if she wanted Blake to know she trusted him with her heart, she needed the mother of all plans.

“
As crazy as it sounds, I just might. Now here’s what we’re going to do.”

#

Blake surveyed the bustling carnival site, and despite the hollow feeling burrowed deep beneath his sternum, he had to admit, the event was a smashing success. Mid-day had come and gone without a hitch, and despite his worry about the potential for heat, the temperature had settled in at a breezy eighty-two degrees. Groups of children filtered through the crowd with their parents, laughing freely as they clutched balloon animals and paper cones full of cotton candy. Teenaged boys tried to outdo each other at row after row of game booths, and everywhere Blake turned, people were smiling and eating with looks of pure comfort on their faces.

H
e’d spoken with Serenity, who had closed Mac’s for the afternoon in order for her staff to be able to attend the carnival, several times throughout the course of the day. The food service was going so seamlessly that he hadn’t needed more than those few check-ins. Although he knew Jules had to be here, running things from behind the scenes, Blake hadn’t caught even a glimpse of her from the main tent area, despite having actively looked more than once.

Damn
, he missed her.

“Hello, Blake.
The carnival is lovely. You should be proud.”

His first inclination was to walk away from the woman who had materialized at his side
while he’d been lost in impossible thought. But the anger that had run white-hot over the course of the last two days had gradually leveled off to a slow burn, and now wasn’t the time or place to tangle with what was left of it.

“Mom. I h
ope you’re enjoying yourself.” Blake pushed up the sleeves of his light blue button down shirt before gesturing to the happy crowd. Despite the fact that they hadn’t spoken directly since he’d left her in the staff lounge without a goodbye, she had to be pleased at the obvious success of the event.

“Actually, I’m not.”

The denial snagged every last ounce of Blake’s attention, and he winged his gaze to meet hers.

“The carnival is a massive success. We’re poised to break every charity fundraising record the hospital has ever set.”

“Yes,” she agreed, straightening her already pristine white linen jacket as she watched the crowd happily milling past. “But you’re unhappy, and I’ve played a large part in that. As important as this hospital is to me, it means quite little compared to you. It’s difficult to enjoy even a successful event knowing I’ve made such an error.”

Blake’s jaw unhinged.
“I… I’m not sure what to say.”

“
I understand this comes as quite a surprise, but I’d like the chance to try and explain, if you’ll let me.”

He nodded, because words were simply out of the question, so his mother continued.

“I confronted Jules eight years ago because I was worried you were making a mistake. We’d already lost your brother, and…” His mother’s features softened uncharacteristically as she said, “I was concerned we’d lose you as well, only in a different way, and I made a terrible error in judgment.”

“Yes,” Blake agreed, unable to help it. “You did.”

“I didn’t realize how much it would hurt you. But I misjudged Jules, and she has more than proven herself, even if I was too blind to see it. And for that I am sorry.”

Her voice didn’t waver over the apology, although it brimmed with genuine emotion
, and recognition panged through his gut.

In her own weird way, his mother had been trying to protect what was left of her family.

Blake let out a shaky breath. “I’m still mad that you confronted her eight years ago instead of talking to me, and it’s going to take some time for me to completely come to terms with that. But Jeremy’s death hit us all really hard. While I don’t agree with what you did, I understand why you did it.”

“Thank you.” His mother’s eyes shone bright with unshed tears, but she didn’t try to hide them. “I do love you, Blake, even though I haven’t been very good at showing it.
I haven’t taken very good care of my health, burying myself in work to forget the past. But watching you spend all those hours in the emergency department to do the same, it’s made me realize that some things are more important.”

“I work hard to take care of people,” he argued, but hell if he could make it stick.

“And you are an excellent doctor. But it’s time we both started taking better care of ourselves, too. Both inside and out.” She reached down, squeezing his hand with deceptively firm fingers. “I hope you’re able to work things out with Jules.”

The hollow feeling in Blake’s
chest multiplied, but he did his best to stuff it down. “Thanks, Mom, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. While what happened eight years ago between you two probably didn’t help, Jules made her choice then, just like she’s making it now.”

“Hmm.”
She tilted her head, the brim of her white sun hat brushing his shoulder as she gave up a wistful smile. “Then perhaps today will be more successful than you think.”

Before he could ask her what the heck she was talking about, the charity coordinator’s voice crackled over the loudspeaker, announcing the bachelor
and bachelorette auction at the main stage. Blake walked his mother to the podium, and as badly as he wanted to slink into the early afternoon shadows to watch the festivities from afar, his name was first up on the auction block. While he wanted to earn enough money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation to be respectable, the faster the gavel landed on his final bid, the better. There was an open shift in the emergency department starting at seven, and with any luck, he’d be up to his shoulders in scrubs and splints by seven-fifteen.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you to Brentsville Hospital’s first annual bachelor and bachelorette auction to benefit this year’s charity, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.”

His mother’s voice flowed over the crowd, punctuated by smatterings of cheers and applause as she thanked the various sponsors and volunteers for the event. A large crowd of mostly twenty and thirty-something women was rapidly growing in front of the stage, boosting Blake’s hope that this would go without incident. For a brash, impulsive second, his eyes scanned the crowd, flickering with that same shot of hope that had filled him two days ago.

But then his mother called his name, and Blake had no choice but to auto-pilot to the stage.

“First up, we have one of Brentsville Hospital’s finest emergency physicians, Dr. Blake Fisher.” She read a brief bio, then continued. “The opening bid is one hundred dollars.”