Over You (7 page)

She put the phone back in her bag, and took Nell’s arm again. ‘I am having such a good time,’ she blurted out, as she was flooded with joyful drunkenness. ‘I am so happy that I’m here with you two. My two best friends.’ For a second, she thought she might cry. ‘Life is great, isn’t it? Life is just great.’

Back at Lisa’s, Josie stepped out of her boots and sank into the sofa, massaging the balls of her feet thankfully. Lisa lit some stout white church candles on the mantelpiece and put on a CD. ‘We should really be drinking Baileys now if we’re going to indulge in the complete nostalgia trip,’ she said, ‘but I don’t know if I can face it. What does anyone else fancy? Tea? More wine?’

Josie bit off the end of a Twix and crunched it. ‘I could go another bottle of wine,’ she said. Hell, why not? Now that she was curled up on Lisa’s squashy sofa with chocolate melting in her mouth, and her bed only a stair-climb away, she could feel a second wind coming on. It wasn’t as if she had to drag herself out of bed to make the boys breakfast at six-thirty the next morning, after all. For once she could lie in bed until midday if she felt like it.

‘Go, Josie!’ Nell cheered. ‘Me too. Sorry, Lise, we should have picked up another bottle while we were out.’

‘No worries,’ Lisa said easily. ‘How about something bubbly? I’ve got some champers in the fridge. I meant to open it earlier but we ended up drinking all that red instead.’

‘Champagne would be just
lush
,’ Josie said, resting her head on the back of the sofa. ‘Oh, Lise, do I have to go home tomorrow? Can’t I just come and live with you instead? I’ll do all your cooking and cleaning . . .’

Lisa laughed. ‘I’ll get some glasses,’ she said, and left the room.

Nell was staring into the candle flames from where she was curled up at the other end of the sofa. ‘Everything all right?’ Josie asked, nudging her with a foot.

Nell nodded. ‘Just thinking,’ she said, without looking at Josie.

‘About Gareth?’ Josie prompted before she could stop herself.

‘Kind of,’ Nell replied. She leaned against a cushion and closed her eyes. ‘It’s been a bit of a mad few weeks. I—’

She stopped abruptly as Lisa came back into the room with a fat green bottle misted with cold, and three champagne flutes clinking between her fingers. ‘Right – who wants to pop the cork?’ Lisa asked.

Josie flicked her eyes across to Nell, a little irritated that Lisa had come in at that second. She was sure Nell had been about to tell her more about Gareth and what had happened between them. Now the moment had gone. ‘You do it, Lise,’ she said. ‘I always get nervous it’s going to spurt everywhere.’

‘Said the actress to the bishop,’ Nell drawled, sitting up and opening her eyes. ‘Oh God, what am I going to do without sex?’ she moaned suddenly. ‘That’s the worst thing about breaking up with someone, those single nights with nobody to put their arms around you.’

‘Nell, it’s only been a week,’ Josie reminded her. ‘You might even be able to patch things up, you never know.’

‘Nah,’ Nell said, shaking her head. ‘No, I won’t. It’s over, that one.’

‘Sex is the easy part anyway, if you ask me,’ Lisa said, pulling the champagne cork out with a flourish. A thin wisp of vapour spiralled into the air, then vanished as she began pouring. ‘Getting the buggers to stay around the next morning, that’s the tricky bit.’

‘Sex isn’t everything,’ Josie put in. ‘If you must know, I’m really looking forward to sleeping on my own tonight, without Pete trying to pull my knickers off as soon as the lights go out.’

‘Oh, don’t, you’re making me feel worse,’ Nell groaned, taking the glass that Lisa was holding out. ‘Smug cow.’

‘I’m not being smug!’ Josie replied. ‘OK, so I’ve got it when I want it, but most of the time I don’t want it.’ She took the second glass of champagne from Lisa, and stared at the vertical lines of tiny bubbles rushing up to the surface, one after another. ‘And then I feel bad for not wanting it, like I’m letting him down, when I’m just so knackered all I want to do is shut my eyes.’ She leaned forward conspiratorially. ‘Once I even pretended I thought I’d caught nits off the boys to keep him away from me.’

‘Evil!’ Nell laughed, spluttering as she took a sip.

A small frown appeared between Lisa’s eyebrows. ‘I don’t get that,’ she confessed. ‘You’re married to him – but you never want to sleep with him?’ She gave a small hiccup. ‘Don’t you worry that he’ll just go off with someone else?’

Josie shook her head. ‘Absolutely not,’ she said firmly. ‘He’s not like that. No way.’ She took a mouthful of bubbles, enjoying the sensation of them fizzing on her tongue. ‘Anyway, I’m not saying I
never
want to sleep with him,’ she went on. ‘Sometimes I do really fancy him. It’s just . . .’ The sentence hung in the air, unfinished.
It’s
just that I only fancy him at certain times of the month, that’s all. Like, when he can make me pregnant.
‘Are we going to have a toast with this bubbly or what?’ she demanded, not wanting to discuss it any more.

‘Course,’ Nell said, raising her glass. ‘Cheers, ladies. Here’s to me forgetting all about Gareth and meeting somebody fabulous soon.’

‘Cheers,’ Lisa added. ‘Amen to that. And here’s to me meeting—’ Her BlackBerry started beeping urgently, and she rolled her eyes. ‘Sorry, guys, I’d better just get that.’

‘It’s almost midnight!’ Josie said in surprise. ‘Who’s going to be emailing you now?’

Lisa checked the screen. ‘Just another work thing from the States,’ she said, her fingers flashing over the keyboard. ‘I’ll be two minutes.’

‘Are you not allowed to have a life?’ Nell asked, exchanging raised-eyebrow glances with Josie. ‘Can’t you just tell them to sod off?’ She laughed. ‘You were right, I’d be sacked from your job within the hour, Lise,’ she said. ‘Me and my bad attitude. I couldn’t be doing with all that prisoner-of-my-own-technology stuff.’

Lisa pressed a button to send off her message and picked up her glass again. ‘Dahling, I’m so
essential
to their business, they can’t manage without me, even at weekends,’ she replied. ‘And don’t worry, I’m billing them for every minute. In fact, they just bought us another bottle of that vintage champers, so don’t knock it.’ She said the words jokily, but there was a kind of defensiveness in there as well, Josie thought, mentally backing away from the subject.

‘What were we talking about?’ Lisa went on breezily. ‘Oh yes, our sex lives.’ Her eyes rested on Josie. ‘Well, it sounds as if I’m the only one who’s getting my rocks off these days.’

Her words felt like an attack, and Josie blinked. ‘But you’re not in love,’ she countered before she could rein herself in. ‘And haven’t been for years, according to you. So I know what I’d rather have.’ Her reply came out sharper than she’d intended it to.

‘What, a loveless marriage, and two brats? No career, no life? Stuck out in Dullsville, with your wardrobe full of jeans and boring tops?’ Lisa’s words were sharper still, cutting right to the quick.

‘They’re not brats!’ Josie cried, her voice rising in indignation. ‘And it’s not a loveless marriage!’ she added hastily.

‘That’s not what I heard,’ Lisa muttered.

Nell held up her hands. ‘God, calm down, you two! It’s not a competition!’ she said.

‘What do you mean, that’s not what you heard?’ Josie demanded, ignoring Nell. She could feel the blood surging around her at Lisa’s criticisms. ‘Who’s been saying that, then?’

Lisa looked tired suddenly. Her make-up was smudged, her top was crumpled and her hair had lost its sheen. ‘Oh, nobody,’ she said, waving a hand as if in surrender. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Below the belt.’

‘Yes,’ agreed Josie, stung, ‘it was.’ Way below the belt – below the bikini line, actually – and totally out of order. ‘And they’re not brats!’ she felt like saying again. She knew Lisa didn’t particularly like kids – she hadn’t been interested in Josie’s two from the start – but to call them
that
, when she didn’t even know them . . . It was a swipe too far. She shook her head angrily.

The CD ended and there was an uneasy silence in the room. ‘This is still about Nick, isn’t it?’ Josie burst out, unable to stop herself. ‘You still carry a grudge! Just because he fancied me, not you. Just because
I
went out with him, not you. Admit it, Lisa. You’ve always held it against me.’

‘No!’ Lisa protested, but her cheeks were flushed. ‘This has nothing to do with Nick. That was years ago.’

‘Exactly,’ Josie said. ‘Which is why I can’t believe you’re still resentful about it now, after all this time.’

‘I am
not
resentful!’ Lisa shouted.

That silence again. Josie didn’t know where to look. The truth was, she had always felt bad about what had happened with Nick, even though it was going back ten years at least. Nick had been Lisa’s friend originally, she’d met him through the legal firm where she’d worked. He had been one of the junior lawyers there, and he and Lisa had had a few post-work drinks where they’d gossiped about their colleagues and compared notes, but nothing more had happened.

Josie could tell that Lisa
wanted
more, though. It was nothing specific she’d said about him, but Josie had noticed a particular look in her eyes, a little smile playing around her mouth whenever she mentioned Nick’s name. And then, almost overnight it had seemed, Lisa – who’d always been a bit of a scruff back then – had started wearing perfume to work, had taken to spending ages applying her make-up first thing instead of slouching in front of GMTV with a coffee, had revamped her wardrobe and hair . . . Josie had known it had been for Nick’s benefit. It was screamingly obvious that Lisa had a fullblown whopper of a crush on him.

A month or so later, it was Lisa’s birthday and she’d organized a pub get-together for Saturday night. She’d invited Nick and a couple of others from her work along, and Josie and Nell were both nosily looking forward to meeting them, especially Nick. What Josie hadn’t counted on, though, was the overwhelming
whoomph
of lust she’d experienced when she’d seen him come in through the door. It was like a match dropped in petrol, the suddenness of it, the heat and intensity.

Nick was something special. He sparkled with charisma. He walked into a room, and people noticed him. He was sexy without seeming to know it, carried himself with an effortless kind of grace. He had strolled straight up to Josie at the bar and given her such an easy, friendly grin that she’d literally had to hold tight to the wooden ledge to stop herself keeling over.

Less than two hours later, she was back at his flat, being shagged senseless, tingling from head to toe with lust.

Lisa had never said anything – anything at all – about Josie and Nick leaving her birthday do so blatantly early. And when Josie had returned to the girls’ flat the following morning, bright-eyed and loved up, it only took one glance at Lisa’s face to give her the guilty feeling of having trespassed on her friend’s property.

Lisa had barely commented on Josie and Nick’s relationship, even when it had progressed to a serious thing lasting over a year. But the gleam had faded from her eyes, Josie noticed. The post-work drinks ended abruptly, to Nick’s surprise. (He, being a bloke, hadn’t got a clue about Lisa’s feelings, of course.) The make-up was toned down, the skirts went back into her wardrobe and her boring trouser suits reappeared. Lisa threw herself into her blossoming career as if it were the only thing that mattered. And Nick had always been the unspoken, taboo subject that stood between them, even after all these years.

Lisa got up to change the CD. ‘I am not resentful,’ she repeated in a quieter voice. It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself, let alone the other two.

‘It all happened such a long time ago,’ Nell said. ‘To be honest, I’d totally forgotten about Nick.’

Josie glanced over at Lisa, who was flicking intently through her CDs.
We hadn’t forgotten, though, had we, Lise?
she felt like saying.

‘Mmmm,’ Lisa said non-committally. ‘It’s all water under the bridge now, I suppose.’

‘Yes,’ Josie said, her cheeks cooling from the sudden rush of anger. ‘Sorry, Lisa. I shouldn’t have dragged it up. It was just what you said about my boys, I felt really—’

Lisa finally looked her in the eye. ‘I shouldn’t have called them brats. I’m sorry, too. It wasn’t a personal thing, I tend to call all kids brats.’ She gave a small smile. ‘I’m sure your boys are perfect little angels.’

Josie forced a smile too, grateful for the peace offering. ‘Well, I wouldn’t go that far,’ she said. ‘But thanks. And about Nick . . . this is all too late, and we should have had this conversation at the time, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry if I was insensitive, going off with him and—’

‘Oh, don’t,’ Lisa said hurriedly. ‘Honestly, there’s no need to say anything about it. What happened happened. And you two were great together, while it lasted. It wasn’t like I had any exclusive rights over him.’

Nell picked up the champagne bottle and went around filling their glasses. ‘Right, that’s that, then,’ she said. ‘Nick – finally dealt with and laid to rest. Not literally, obviously, but . . .’ She giggled. ‘Let’s talk about something else now anyway. Something less emotive. Anybody been watching
’Stenders
lately?’

Josie rolled over in bed, dimly aware of morning noises filtering into her mind. It was strange, not hearing the usual sounds of her boys shouting and fighting, the birds singing in the rowan tree outside her bedroom window, Radio 5 burbling from Pete’s bedside clock . . .