Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (42 page)

Krista felt up her body with her hands,
sighing in delight as his hands moved to her hips and clutched. Her
head fell back as her core soaked up all the delicious friction,
turning it into an indescribable feeling that she’d only imagined
in past partners. She wondered if he always made women feel this
good. If this remarkable ability of his was ingrained. Or if maybe
their chemistry knew no bounds. If maybe these sweet sensations
alighted from their mutual respect, their undying love, and most
importantly, the tough road they’d taken to get to this spot. She
wondered if it was as extraordinary for him as it was for her.

Then she couldn’t think at all. The
sensations were at a fever pitch, battling within her, wanting to
explode, but wanting to build a little more. Wanting to fill every
corner, but wanting to be fanned higher still, reaching, wanting to
see how full of this exquisite pleasure she could get.

As she was hitting her stride, reaching for
home, but wanting the build to go on, his hands, which were
massaging her breasts, suddenly grabbed her by the hips and threw
her onto the bed.

She knew a moment of blind panic as she
tumbled, hitting the mattress in a tangle of limbs. Memories
flashed like lightening, crowding her brain. Jim over her,
painfully spreading her legs and jamming himself in.

And then it happened—her hastily spread
legs. The thrust.

She cried out in panic and struggled,
closing her eyes against the onslaught. She pushed at the body
leaning into her, trying to get away. Trying to stop it.

“Stay with me, Krista. Focus on me,” Sean
said into her ear, his deep tones working their way through the
bands of panic tightened against her chest.

With just enough sanity to focus on his
voice, she did. She clutched at him, willing her brain to defog.
Clawing her way to the surface, pushing back her fears and letting
the calm grip of logic take over.

She was breathing fast and shallow, but she
wasn’t in pain. That was the first thing she noticed. Nothing hurt.
Beside the icy fear eating away at her, there were no negative
emotions. In fact, Sean had stopped moving completely, waiting for
her. Patiently.

She opened her watery eyes
slowly, meeting his vivid green oasis. He remained inside her,
motionless, even though he was probably dying to get moving again.
She watched him over her and connected to him inside her, giving
her time to adjust. She let her hands feel his familiar body,
breathed in his scent, let past memories of Sean
trickle in to match her current senses and help
push away that of
him
.

Her horror began to fade. The fear receded
like an ocean wave.

“I’m sorry,” she didn’t know what else to
say. She’d wanted their first time to be perfect. But this time it
wasn’t him freaking out. When it really counted, she was the one
who did a back flip into crazy-ville.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. We’re in this
together. Do you want to stop? Regroup?”

Sean was so patient. So understanding.

Tears came to her eyes unbidden. Sean,
seeing them, moved to withdraw.

“No!” she said, clutching his body. “No,
please. Let’s keep going. Let’s get back into it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.
Please
.”

“Should I go slow? Do you want back on top,
maybe?”

“No, I’m fine. Just a
moment of panic is all. I’m okay.” She smiled because she
was
okay. With him, she
was okay. She trusted him. Time and time again he proved himself.
Even in the height of his freak-outs, he’d always been gentle. She
knew that wouldn’t change now.

Jim-will-not-haunt-me-forever!

He started moving slowly, bending to lay his
full body on her, kissing her gently. She didn’t want slow right
now. On the back of her brain trying to buck, she didn’t want the
reminder of him wearing kid gloves. She wanted to sprint into
climax. She wanted them to hold hands and jump, sooner rather than
later.

Part of her was scared it would happen
again.

She spurred him on by constricting her legs
and coaxing him with her arms. He never asked if she was sure, just
took her not-so-subtle hints and evolved them until she lost
herself to him once again. And while she let herself go to the
sensations she was feeling, she never let go of the connection with
him. She clutched her trust for him tight, reminding herself that
she was safe, with him.

As she let herself go, he matched her. The
wonderful friction they made blossomed and spiraled outwards until
it must have filled the entire room. Her body felt like a live
wire, whirling and spitting electric fire as the heat surged and
rolled through her.

She gripped his back, arched and moved,
goading him on, met his body with hers at a breakneck pace. She
wanted to hit home, reach the end of all things and feel the
glorious climax tear through her body.

His breathing was labored and his kisses
fervent. With her insistent urging, he gave a few hard, final
thrusts and Krista’s body shot into ecstasy. She cried out in
fierce pleasure, languidly arching her back to push her breasts
into his chest. She gripped his body pushing further into hers with
her legs, holding him tight so he couldn’t withdraw, milking the
seed that was trapped, but in theory would be working through her
body as she held on.

Strange how that was an aphrodisiac. Another
first.

They were both floating in a world without
words, lost in each other’s grasp. Krista continued to hold on
tightly as they slid back down, and felt his wonderful pressure on
her as their bodies relaxed together.

In an amount of time that couldn’t be
measured, he pushed himself to the side, relieving her of his
weight, but still huddled close.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, his voice
hoarse.

“Yes. I almost lost it there for a moment,
but you pulled me out.”

“I guess now I know what I’m like,” he said,
kissing her temple as he hugged her tighter.

“Did I ruin it for you?” she asked, verging
on tears.

“It was unbelievable, Krista. On one hand I
wish we hadn’t waited so long. On the other, the anticipation made
it that much better. Me knowing you like I do made it that much
more special.”

“You sound like a chick.” She laughed, then
got more serious. “I kind of...jumped the track in the mood.”

“No. You showed me that you are human. You
showed me that I am not alone. That I can help you as much as you
can help me. And that is more precious to me than--” His voice
hitched and wavered. Being a man, and therefore subject to
man-code, he stopped talking to get his emotions under control.

“Perfection is in the flaws,” she said
quietly as she folded herself into his arms and put her head on his
chest. She felt him nod and clutch her tighter.

“I love you, Krista,” he said with a full
heart.

She reached up to kiss him and felt her
arousal stir again. He rolled her under him, having felt the same
thing. The second time they made love was slow and sensual with all
the tenderness both of them felt and were eager to share. She lost
herself to him completely. She let herself go in complete trust and
hit heights in pleasure she didn’t know even existed. It was like
her body opened up, scrubbed away all the badness, and refilled
with pure white light. Then overlaid all that with heart-stopping,
X-rated pleasure.

Sean was good. He’d definitely earned his
reputation. And in this, she wasn’t bitter.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

“Good morning beautiful.” Krista heard as a
hand feathered her nether lips.

Without bothering to answer, or even opening
her eyes, Krista opened her legs wider, granting him access, and
arched back into him, expecting him to do all the work.

After a second of applied protection, he
invaded her pleasantly.

“
Oh!” Krista said in
surprise as she came fully awake.

Sean chuckled softly behind her as he
rhythmically moved, stroking her female parts and kissing her
neck.

It was over fairly quickly,
him being ready upon waking, her taking longer. She was an audience
for the big O rather than a participant, but it wasn’t his fault,
and it still felt freaking am
az
ing, so she had no
complaints.

As he was pulling out, he kissed her on the
cheek and made to get out of bed. Krista, deciding that rising
early was for the birds, closed her eyes again. She’d get more
action in an hour when she actually felt like waking up.

Suddenly Sean froze. “Oh
fuck, Krista! Oh God, oh God, oh
fuck
!
”

As a man that didn’t
swear
ever
,
Krista was immediately alert. She looked around, expecting a head
rolling across the ground or Mel Gibson on a horse holding that
spikey-death-ball of Tory’s.

Nothing was amiss. It wasn’t time for her
period, so she knew she didn’t make a mess of things—a quick check
confirmed.

She turned to Sean grumpily.

“The condom broke!” he said
in near hysterics. “I shouldn’t have hurried. I
never
hurry. I’m
always
careful. You’re just so
sexy—it’s not your fault. I’m not blaming you. It’s
my
fault!
Shit!”

Judging by his reaction, it meant she might
have gotten a “present.” It was a serious black spot on the
morning.

“Fuck.” Sean was on a roll.
He sounded like Kate. “Shit. Well, at least it’s you, but still.
We’ll just have to--
damn
it
.” He was currently trying to clean
things up.

“I am not sure what the part about it being
me meant, but what should I be expecting from this? Do you need to
tell me anything?”

He stopped what he was doing, which was
basically fretting like an old woman, and looked at her
quizzically.

“Will I need to be tested for anything?” she
clarified.

Understanding dawned and he flushed. “Oh.
No. I’ve never had unprotected sex. Until, well, right now I guess.
Do I, uh, need to...you know...”

“No. I was tested for
everything after the Ex, and since then I’ve religiously been
safe—until right now—so I’m clean. We’re good. No worries. Now, I
could use another thirty minutes of shut eye, so
shhhhhhh
.”

Crisis over, Krista laid back down and
snuggled into the luxurious pillows.

“But what about pregnancy?” Sean said in a
rush, interrupting her dreamy thoughts.

She didn’t bother turning around. “Are you
kidding? I don’t trust my fate to condoms. I’m on the pill for just
such an occasion. And for period predictability. I have expensive
underwear—surprises cost money.”

“And that’ll be enough?”

Slightly irritated, Krista turned over in
what was close to a bad mood. She looked at Sean closely, trying to
determine what would end the crisis once and for all so she could
get back to sleep. His face was lined with worry and his eyes were
anxious. He was seriously, extremely freaked out about this. Sure,
it was a big deal, but usually women worried about this kind of
thing--men only freaked out if the worst happened. Like a sperm
meets egg kind of situation.

“Wait. You’ve
never
had unprotected
sex? Not even an ‘oops’ drunk episode?” Krista asked, still looking
closely.

“No. Never. I
was
an ‘oops’ and I’ve
spent a lifetime being reminded of it. I never wanted that for
anyone else.”

Suddenly the callous manner in which Krista
was handling the situation seemed horrible. She sobered up—and woke
up--and took it more seriously.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize.
Um, I haven’t skipped or messed up with the pill in a long time. It
has held firm until now. We’ll be fine, seriously. You have
absolutely no need to worry. Well, I mean, any more than you would
using a condom. That
didn’t
break, I mean.”

He nodded his head slowly, looking at her
with big puppy dog eyes.

“I wouldn’t leave you,” he said seriously.
“And I would be a good father and a good husband. Or baby-daddy.
Whichever. I just want you to know that.”

“Sean, please don’t think me harsh, but this
is way too serious for a Sunday morning. We have nothing to worry
about. And if the worst happens, ever, we’ll just figure it out,
okay?”

“Okay.”

“Wait, is that what you meant by it being
me?”

“Yes,” he said it like he thought she was a
mental patient. “I would do right by any woman, but it being you is
a relief in and of itself. It is a bit soon, maybe, but...” he
shrugged.

She stared at him for a
minute, realizing that he was entirely serious, and lay back onto
the bed with a
plop.
It blew her mind. She was touched, she was bewildered, she
was honored… plus a little scared. He was thinking
”us”
extremely
seriously. It was exhilarating that a man liked her that
much.

“What was it you said, don’t go getting a
big ego?” Sean said as he got out of the bed. She could hear the
laughter in his voice and knew her thoughts were transparent.

She watched his naked butt disappear into
the bathroom and heard the shower start running. She looked at the
time. It was an hour before her spa stuff started.

She trekked off into the bathroom to find
out what he was up to and if she should skip the spa.