Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (5 page)

“I just didn’t want you to think we were
plotting against you. I know it wasn’t really me depicted.”

“It was.”

Sean looked at her in surprise.

She smiled at the scrutiny, “It was you. You
have this smell about you—“

“Oh yes, the stink.”

“—that reminds me of the ocean.” Krista
paused. “Truth?” Sean waited. “Yes, you did make me nervous when I
first met you, okay?” She laughed and pushed away from the wall, “I
know you’ve figured that out, don’t try to look all shocked.”

Sean chuckled, “I wasn’t sure until Ben told
me about that painting.”

“I know. I realized that. It’s just…” Krista
looked out towards the pool. “I don’t know. I gotta pee.”

Sean watched her walk away. It was a quick
exit, followed by Ray’s quick entrance.

“Don’t look now, but there are two
over-protective friends plotting an accident you won’t walk away
from.”

Sean smiled and refrained from looking.
“Told you.”

“She’s loosened up around you.”

“Ben painted this…truly remarkable painting.
I offered to buy it before I was told, in so many words, that it
was Krista’s internal struggle against falling for me.”

Ray turned to him slowly, not quite sure
what to say. In fairness, Sean did sound slightly insane.

Sean smiled and told the whole
story—everything Ben had relayed, including how long it took, the
slow realization of what all the pieces meant, and all the things
he alluded to, like Krista’s past being somewhat dark and
disturbed.

“So she has been purposely steering clear in
order to avoid repeated past mistakes…” Ray said quietly. “She’s a
smart girl.”

“You don’t need to rub it in.”

“Her hesitancy is good for you. Always
getting what you want was never good for anybody.”

“So you keep saying.”

“But you wanted the picture before you knew
it was her?”

“It’s not a picture. It’s an abstract
painting. There are no real images, or faces, or…
abstract
Ray. Like the one you have in your hallway. The purple one.”

“
Oh.
Huh.”

“Why did this not sound crazy when Ben was
describing it?”

“Because Ben usually sounds intelligent and
you sound absurd.”

“Trust me, it’s impossible not to like the
thing. You’ll see. I have the perfect place to hang it.”

“Her friends have made you…”

“Weird?”

Ray smiled. “Insightful. Loosened you up
somewhat, as well. They are an interesting group of people.”

“Fun, though.”

“Very. Free spirits, one and all. I haven’t
talked with them long, but I worry that they won’t take this
project seriously.”

“They’ll follow Krista’s lead. They worked
with her in school. I’ve seen some of the things Kate can churn
out—it is Krista-quality work. Jasmine has a definite creative edge
to her, which will help. She thinks outside the box—“

“I hate that saying. It’s overused.”

“—and they both did well in school. When
they have to be turned over to James Montgomery, I doubt they’ll do
much, but that’s not my problem.”

“When they have to be turned over to James
Montgomery no one will get work out of them. He won’t let that
happen.”

“It’s a waste.”

“I think that will be about the time Krista
walks away. And despite your selfishness, you should encourage her
to do so. She is capable of great things, but not in that
company.”

“What are you, Ray, a doomsday parade?”

“Just thinking outside the box…”

~*~*~*~

Krista entered the back door of the house,
which was decorated with a million knickknacks lined up everywhere,
including more than a few cow figurines, and found herself in the
kitchen. If it was a party with people her own age, she’d just seek
out the bathroom. With adults, she thought she’d better ask. They
were liable to think she was trying to steal something.

Before she could ask the two women chatting
idly by the kitchen sink, a woman with shoulder-length, reddish
hair swooped down on her with a smile.

“Hello.” She was about Krista’s height, a
little pudgy, and about Ray’s age. “I don’t believe I’ve had the
pleasure. I’m Mary, Ray’s wife.”

“Hi! I’m Krista. I work with Ray.”

“So
you’re
Krista! Oh my gosh, I’ve
heard so much about you! Ray and Sean are just delighted with
you—Sean especially, of course. Not many women find their way
to
his
heart.
He’s a good boy, but all the women seem to be after his looks or
his money, you know? But I must say, you are
every
bit as pretty as he described!
I thought he must be exaggerating, but no, I can see he was right.
Which means you must be as smart, too!”

Krista stared dumbly. She
didn’t know what to say. With a guy like Sean, that really just
meant he wanted to get her naked. But the
way
she said it, and pointing out
his heart…it was confusing. It wasn’t like the guy she knew. The
womanizer side of the guy she knew. The guy who had slept his way
through the company, and finally come up against someone who said
no. That guy was pulling out all the stops, including tricking her
into going on a date. What Mary was saying just didn’t add
up.

Krista covered her unease by smiling. She
didn’t want to make anyone feel awkward. “Mary, I was wondering
where the bathroom was?”

“Oh, look at me going on and on and you just
trying to find the bathroom!” She laughed again and ushered Krista
out of the kitchen. They didn’t go far to find a bathroom with a
seashell theme.

“Here you are, darling. You just let me know
if you need anything. And I look forward to chatting more!”

Krista walked in to do her
thing, her brain whirling. She didn’t believe it. It had to be some
charade. If it had been Monica who walked into the house, Krista
was sure Mary would have said very similar things. Monica was the
one who actually got him in the end, after all. And Sean thought
she was all kinds of pretty. And great at her job. More so,
obviously—he was fairly open in his regard for
her.

Krista emerged from the house and found Sean
where she left him, though now he was talking with Ray. As soon as
Ray saw her, he jumped up. “Do you need anything?”

“You and Mary sure know how to host.” Krista
laughed. “No, I’m good. Thanks.”

Ray nodded and walked away, asking someone
else what they needed.

Sean met Krista’s eyes, then drew her
in.

“Want to go for a walk?” he asked.

She shrugged.

They walked off toward the side of the
house, then to the front. She purposely didn’t glance at Kate or
Jaz. She knew this was a bad idea, she didn’t need the confirmation
on their faces.

“Why did you invite me here today, Sean?”
she asked, looking up to catch his eyes.

“I wanted to get to know you outside of
work.”

“Why?”

“Because… You are interesting. I wanted to
meet your friends. And hang out.”

“You want to get me into your bed?” All her
vulnerability was poured into that question. She couldn’t help
it.

“I want to get to know you,” he said
softly.

“Like you got to know Theresa?” Krista had
walked in on the morning after in the break room. Theresa had been
the star of the show and on her way out. Sean had hit that and quit
it, like he always did.

Sean visibly stopped himself from reeling
backwards. She knew it was one helluva sucker punch. Saying he
wasn’t expecting it would be like saying lava was hot.

“I… That wasn’t…” Sean closed his eyes and
steadied himself. “No, that is not why I wanted to get to know you
better. That was a different situation.”

“Did you have sex with Monica?”

The second it was out of her mouth Krista
regretted it. It wasn’t any of her business. His past sexual
experiences and her past sexual experiences had nothing to do with
each other. But she had to know. She
needed
to. Krista
wasn’t any different than Monica; she wasn’t any more pretty or
intelligent, she wasn’t any better at her job, and she was way, way
under-experienced in the field of romantic game playing. There was
absolutely no reason to believe that he would treat one any
differently than the other. And as the other, she had to know the
score.

Sean did take a step back, then. He looked
at her a long time. She knew he didn’t want to go down this road.
He didn’t want to admit it. She understood; there were things she
wouldn’t want to admit, either. But she had to know.

He bowed his head, “Yes, I did.”

Krista let out a breath in
a noisy exhale. She’d known that.
Everybody
had known that. Why did it
hurt this much when he admitted it?

“
I hadn’t intended to…” He
was talking to his hands. When he looked up and met her eyes,
unshed tears misting her vision, his body caved. “Beyond that it is
not for a gentleman to say.”

“A gentleman, yes,” Krista said, turning so
her back was leaning against the tree.
“The night
of the charity event, or before?”

“That night.”

So he played her, and then went home with
someone else. It wasn’t news, but the pain of it still surprised
her. She’d inadvertently let him in again, and he spit in her
Cheerios. What was this, the third time?

“Krista—“

“No, Sean, you get mad that I call you a
womanizer, but you wave that flag proudly. All the women crying in
the bathroom, your latest conquest, where does it end? Tell me how
I can trust you.”

“I thought you did trust me,” he said it in
such a small voice that even though he didn’t deserve it, it
squeezed her heart.

“And therein lies the issue. I trust the
Sean who looks after his people. I trust the leader. I trust the
guy who talks to me like a person. Who laughs with me like he would
laugh with a friend. I trust him implicitly. But then there’s the
other guy; the womanizer guy. That guy I do not trust. Not at
all.”

“But don’t you see?” He was begging her to
keep an open mind. “That other guy you are right not to trust. That
is a façade. A mask I wear because women and men alike expect it of
me. They seem to only see that guy, and women are drawn to taming
him. That’s the guy Monica wanted. It’s the guy I let her seduce.
Not my finest moment, but texting booty calls doesn’t make you a
saint, either.”

It was a stab, but it was true. She wasn’t
much better than him in that arena. She’d been stringing Paul along
for a long damn time. Using him and knowing, deep down, that he
wasn’t using her back.

“But what about all the
crying women? Or the times I’ve caught…the morning after?”
Why
did it hurt so much?
Was it because he picked all those women, but wouldn’t pick
her?

Nope—it was because she was a damn fool, and
had feelings for the a-hole. It was another truth she kept deep
down. Another little monster she didn’t want to face.

“I am not a good guy with a
lot of women, I confess. But I don’t use someone and discard them.
Anymore. Monica used
me
.”

“Or Joanna from the Christmas party.”

Agony flashed across his face. “I didn’t
know how to handle Joanna. I didn’t sleep with her. I made sure she
got home all right, then I caught a cab. I tried to set the record
straight, as it were, but no one wanted to listen to me. Or her, it
seemed. But again, you hang me for it, but I’ve seen you the Monday
after a one-night stand—you aren’t pure, either.”

“
You point out two guys out
of two,” Krista said, rallying her defense. “I am pointing out two
of many. Texting a booty call had been a bad decision, I admit. But
there were other factors at work there.”
Like rejection.

“Krista—“ Sean sounded pained. “I didn’t
reject you.”

“What?” There is absolutely
no way she said that out loud. No way.
Did
I?

How goddamned embarrassing to have a
freaking pity-party in front of the guy who pushed her to throw the
party in the first place. And how disgusting for poor Paul to get
dragged into it.

“I felt the attraction at that charity
event,” Sean blew out a breath and shook his head. “Hard not to.
Anytime near you, it’s hard not to. But… it was a company
party.”

“And Monica was a member of the same
company.”

“And Monica knew what she was getting into.
If I had come on to you, you not only would have turned me down,
you would have had everyone gossiping about it the next day. I
haven’t worked wonders on your reputation so far, the last thing
you would’ve needed is Monica having a reason to hate you, as
well.”

“What have you had to do with my
reputation?” Krista said slowly.

“Ray thinks that people won’t befriend you
because you’ve caught my eye.”

“Everything wearing a skirt catches your
eye.”

Sean put his back to the tree, sagging into
the bark, “Ouch.”

“Well?
It’s not like I’m telling you something you don’t
know!”

“You are, actually. I didn’t realize you
thought so low of me.”

Krista crossed her arms and walked three
paces away, back turned to him. “I will not feel bad for saying
that.”

“I don’t expect you to feel bad for being
honest,” Sean sighed.

“And don’t think I won’t tell Jasmine that
you just sighed!”

Sean’s lips quirked, but he
didn’t fully smile. “I’m not saying I was all that trustworthy in
the past. I wasn’t. But I’ve grown out of it. Trying to, anyway.
I
want
to.”

“Then why were you so sexual when we first
started working together?”