Overshadow (15 page)

“But isn’t that where it all began? All I’m saying is… why would you want to go back there?”

“Technically, it all began at the hospital the day my mom died. Her dying set all of this into motion… plus, that’s where I saw Andrei for the first time.”

“I didn’t know that.”

I sighed. “I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t actually talk to him that day. I saw him from across the room. But maybe that’s why I felt drawn to him when I met him at the coffeehouse. Maybe I already felt connected to him because I recognized him from the hospital.”

“Do you blame your mom?” Tristan asked quietly.

I thought about that for a moment. I had for a time, but did I still? “No, of course not. How could any of this be her fault?”

“It’s just… I know sometimes when loved ones die, people blame them for dying and leaving us behind.”

“It’s not her fault. It’s not like she died and left me alone on purpose.” I carefully pulled my car into the parking space and shut off the engine. “She couldn’t have known any of this was coming.”

“Do you regret it?”

I gave him an incredulous look. “Regret her dying? Of course I do! I miss her every single day. Again, it’s not anything I could control, any more than she could. She didn’t ask to die.”

“I meant the rest of it.”

I fell silent. Did I regret coming here, meeting Logan? “No. Not for a minute. No matter what happens, I will never regret meeting Logan. I’m not going to abandon him now when he needs me most.”

“That’s not what I said,” Tristan said hurriedly.

“Is that what all of this is about?” My voice began to rise, but I didn’t care. “You
want
Logan to stay like this, don’t you? You want him to stay under Sera’s spell, away from me. You want me to blame Andrei and stay away from him. Then you’ll have me all to yourself! All this talk of regret and blame is just a ploy, isn’t it?”

“No!” Tristan shouted back. “I’m not trying to steal you away. Do I wish that you loved me back? Of course I do! But your happiness comes before my own. That’s what love is. Don’t you know that?”

I reeled back as if he had slapped me. “Get out of my car,” I whispered furiously.

“I didn’t mean…”

“Get. Out. Of. My. Car.” I bit off each word.

“I’m not leaving. I know you want to feel sorry for yourself. Poor Raena, all abandoned. Well, I’m not going to give you the satisfaction. You need to stop wallowing. You need to know someone’s on your side, no matter what.”

Tears sprang in my eyes. “I thought Logan was on my side, no matter what. Now I’ve lost him.”

“But not permanently. You need to be more proactive. Stop relying on everyone else for the answers. Don’t listen to the psychic, don’t listen to the psychiatrist. You don’t even need to listen to the priest, although he’s probably given you the best advice out of all of them. You have to be decisive.”

I stared out the front windshield at the people passing us by on the sidewalk. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“You’re going to have to deal with it. But we can go inside now.”

We climbed out of the car and headed upstairs to the coffee shop. Andrei was indeed working, but he was about to get off. We ordered and sat down near the window while we waited for Andrei to finish making drinks for all of us.

“Are you dating your loser bestie now?” a voice came from behind me.

I turned. It was Bianca. Fabulous. As if I didn’t have enough problems. “Wow, you sure go through guys fast!” she continued. “Careful, someone might mistake you for a person who actually has a life.”

“Bianca, just go away.”

“Like I’d want to talk to you.” She rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to say congratulations to the happy new couple.”

“We’re not a couple,” Tristan told her.

“If you say so. Wait until I tell Cady.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked out.

“Great, another thing for Cady to be mad at me about,” I muttered as Andrei approached the table with our drinks.

“What?” he asked.

“Remember Bianca?”

“The girl from the beach you go to school with? Yes, unfortunately.”

“She seems to think Tristan and I are dating.”

He placed my drink in front of me on the table and sat down, handing Tristan a cup as well. “So what? It’s none of her business.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I hesitated, and decided to change the subject. “So I have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

I leaned close so no one else would hear what I was about to ask. I dropped my voice to a whisper. “You know when you and Logan were fighting? When he was taking me out of the Shadow Imperium?”

“Of course.”

“When he hit you, and you disappeared… how did that happen?”

“Oh.” He winced and sat back. “That. Well, before I explain it to you, you have to know that I was only fighting Logan because I wanted you to stay with me. For all that my mother said we needed you, taking you to the Shadow Imperium was more of a desire for you and me to be together, than what she said. Yes, I wanted you to help us, and yes, I really want to return to Heaven. I wanted you to be with me, no matter where we were. I thought maybe if you were around me enough, you might change your mind about us. I am a devil, but I’m not a violent being by nature. You understand that, right?”

“Yes, I think I do.”

“Let me say this, though. If it came down to a choice between you and returning to Heaven, I’m not sure which I would choose.”

I stared at him, speechless. Apparently, Tristan was too, because he looked at Andrei with his mouth hanging open slightly. I reached over and used the back of my hand to push Tristan’s lower jaw closed. He grabbed my hand and held onto it. I didn’t pull away at first, I was so absorbed in Andrei’s declaration. I shook my head to clear it and slid my hand out of Tristan’s grasp.

“I need to make something clear to both of you,” I said. “I know you both have feelings for me, but I’ve already chosen Logan. He is the one I want to be with. I don’t want to hurt either of you, but once Logan is out from under Sera’s spell, he and I
will
be back together.”

Andrei sighed. “I don’t think
you
understand.” He paused for entirely too long. “This one here,” he pointed at Tristan, “is mortal. He’ll be gone in sixty, maybe seventy years. You’ll live on, way beyond that. Do you understand that with your Nephilim blood, you’re more or less immortal?”

“What?” The question was all I could manage to utter. What did he mean I was “more or less immortal”?

“Fallen angels — devils — live forever, unless they are killed, which is extremely difficult to do. They can only be killed by another immortal. You have that blood running through your veins. Through your father, you’re close to being immortal yourself. I’m not entirely sure how it works. All I know is you’ll likely live for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.”

I sat silent for a moment, trying to absorb what he had just said. I had never thought about the fact that I might live forever. It had never crossed my mind. “What does this have to do with Logan and me?” I finally asked.

“I don’t know how to tell you this… for all that angels and devils are immortal, I’m not sure Logan is. I told you our mother had him be reborn in a human body? He obviously retained some of his angelic powers, but I don’t know whether he retained his immortality. Do you understand?”

“So what you’re saying is that I’ll likely live forever, but Logan may not?”

He nodded. “Exactly.”

“Are you just telling me this so I’ll choose you? I can only be with you because you’ll live forever, but everyone else will die on me?”

“If that’s the way you want to think about it, then great. I accept. You know I’ve always wanted you.” He leaned back in his chair and picked up his coffee cup. He looked around to make sure no one was watching. I saw miniscule lightning bolts form around his free hand. He wrapped his hand around the mug. A few seconds later I saw steam begin to rise from the cup. “What?” he asked in response to the look on my face. “It was cold and I didn’t feel like going behind the counter to heat it up again.”

“Cool,” Tristan breathed. I had almost forgotten he was there.

Andrei grinned.

“Why are you doing that here, where everyone can see you?” I asked.

“I can make them see anything I want them to see, remember? That also goes for making them
not
see something I might do. Just like none of you can see my wings right now, but they’re still there.” He pointed over his shoulder.

“Oh.” My mind still reeled from the revelation that I might have to spend eternity without Logan. Then I remembered something. “Wait a minute! You still didn’t answer my question.”

“About?”

“Why you disappeared when you and Logan fought in the Shadow Imperium.”

“I try to avoid telling others this, but since it’s you…” He glanced pointedly at Tristan. “Do you mind leaving?”

“Whatever you can say to me, you can say to Tristan. He’s fine.”

“No.” He continued to glare at Tristan. “He may only be mortal, but he’s in love with you too. He may find a way to get rid of me
and
Logan so he can have you to yourself. He needs to leave.”

I started to protest again, but Tristan pushed his chair back and stood up. “It’s fine. I’ll go. I should get home anyway.”

“But I drove you here.”

“It’s okay. Really. I’ll walk back to your house and get my car. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He bent down and kissed me on the cheek as Andrei glared on.

“What is it about me that makes all these guys crazy?” I whispered to myself as Tristan left.

“You really don’t see your value, do you?” Andrei asked.

“How did you hear me?”

He tapped his ear. “Immortal hearing. You’d be amazed at what I can hear.”

“Great.”

“But seriously, do you actually not understand why Logan, Tristan, and I are all in love with you?”

“No, I don’t. I’m not anyone special. I have all kinds of flaws.”

“That may be true, but your good traits far outweigh your flaws. Perfection is boring. Flaws make things more interesting.” He grinned. “Take your temper, for example. It’s not out of control, but you do lose it sometimes. It comes from passion. That same passion makes you love more deeply. I only wish your love, your passion, was focused on me… I’d even take the temper that went with it.”

“Andrei, I…”

He held up a hand. “Don’t worry. I understand. I can still hold onto the hope you might choose me in time. Now, do you want an answer to your question or not?”

I nodded. “Yes, of course.”
About time. I asked him twice.

Dropping his voice again, he uttered one word. “Chakras.”

“Chakras? What are those?”

“The body has seven chakras: the crown, the third eye, the throat, the heart, the solar plexus, the sacral, and the root. They’re vulnerable points.”

“So what? Can they kill you?”

He shook his head. “No, no, nothing like that, but if we’re already wounded, as I was, they can make you weak. When Logan hit me in the chest, he struck my heart chakra. I was physically wounded as well as emotionally wounded.”

I thought I knew where he was going with this. “Your heart was weak because you were in love with me?”

“You could put it that way, yes. I had to retreat quickly in order to recuperate. If I hadn’t, if I had continued to fight, I may have died.”

“But if Logan’s not immortal, then it wouldn’t have killed you, would it?”

“That’s the one flaw in the ‘immortals can only be killed by other immortals’ rule. If we are physically wounded, and we are struck in a weak chakra, it may very well kill us, even if our attacker is a mortal. That’s why I didn’t want your little human friend to hear.”

“I’m human though. Why are you telling me?”

“You need to realize that you’re
not
human. At least not fully. You cannot forget that. It may save you.”

“Save me from who? You keep saying that you’re on my side now. You’re not a danger anymore.”

“Make no mistake. If my mother finds out I have turned traitor, then she will surely send someone else after you. It may be Serafina, or it may be someone else entirely. Whoever it is and whatever they try to do to you, it will make everything that has gone before, and what is happening now, seem like a walk in the park. Once the Queen’s fury is completely unleashed, there is no stopping it until she’s had her retribution. I will do my best to protect you from her and whatever she may throw at you, but she is more powerful than I am. This is why we need Logan back on our side. Between the three of us, we might be able to take her down.” He looked around. “Maybe we should continue this discussion in private?”

I followed his gaze around the shop. It had gotten more crowded. “Let’s go to my house.”

We headed downstairs and got in my car. Silence filled the car on the way back to my house.”Why are you still wearing that?” Andrei asked as he unbuckled his seat belt.

I looked down. “What?”

“The necklace.” He pointed at the citrine pendant hanging at my throat.

My hand flew up to grab it. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s evil. It radiates dark energy.” He stared at me for a moment, eyes narrowed. “It’s draining your powers.”

“Huh?”

“You could be so much more powerful if you weren’t wearing it. It’s not protecting you. It’s not even helping you. It’s hindering you, draining your energy.”

While I thought about that, we headed into my house and upstairs to my room. No one was home, so there would be no questions as to why I had a boy in my room. “But Ismene gave it to me,” I finally said. “She told me it would protect me.”

He sighed. “I’ve told you before not to trust her.”

“You don’t even know her.”

“I don’t have to know her. Just the fact that she gave you that,” he gestured at the necklace again, “means she probably isn’t trustworthy.”

“Maybe she didn’t know.”

“Just take off the necklace.”

I didn’t know what to think. Who should I trust? The psychic who Nuada had brought to me for help and who had given me the necklace, or the devil who had kidnapped me and was now trying to help me?