Overture (Rain Dance, Book 1) (Rain Dance Series) (81 page)

     
What should I
do?

     
...
Fuck
fear. Death won't have me, not yet. I'm not ready to part with Ethan. When I
die, it'll be on my own terms, just as planned.

     
A single
thought and just like that...I was safe.

     
I was free.

    
 
All things are empty: nothing is born,
nothing dies, nothing is pure, nothing is stained…

     
So, in
emptiness, there is no body, no feeling, no thought, no will, no consciousness.

     
…There is no
seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, no imagining…

     
…There is no
ignorance, and no end to ignorance. There is no old age and death, and no end
to old age and death. There is no suffering, no cause of suffering, no end to
suffering, no path to follow. There is no attainment of wisdom, and no wisdom
to attain…

     
…And so with no
delusions, feel no fear, silly girl, and have Nirvana here and now.

     
Silence
overcame me. It took hold of my mind first, then my ears, tuning everything out
entirely. I couldn't make out my own breathing. Even my heartbeat, heavy as it
was, remained quiet. I closed my eyes again, cutting off all other senses. I
focused on nothing, just waiting for it to sink in. Waiting for my body and
mind to accept the challenge.

     
It came to me
only seconds later.

     
From here on
out, I had only one goal.

     
Survive.

When
I reopened my eyes, all senses returned. I sat in perfect stillness, taking in
every detail around me. It had begun to rain. Not hard, but just enough that it
would cause Ethan to complain if I had stood in it for longer than necessary.
The car smelled of tobacco and gum - spearmint, I think. There was a third
smell that I couldn't quite put a name on. It reminded me of vinegar.

     
The engine of
the vehicle was a gentle hum compared to the loud, constant tapping of the
driver's fingers hitting the steering wheel. I tapped my fingers like that
sometimes when I was nervous or impatient, but he was going at an unreasonably
fast pace, hardly pausing or slowing at all. I tried to study his face again.
When we passed a streetlight, I could see that his eyes were bloodshot.
Is
he on drugs or something?
I knew literally nothing about the subject, so I
had no way of telling. Regardless, all these little details were just useless
information. I had to start focusing on other things.

     
She
was
being held captive, that I was sure of. So who did this person work for? At
least, I had to assume that he was working for someone else. Gun aside, he
hadn't actually threatened me in any way.
Wilhelm, maybe?
No, I didn't
think that was it.

     
...What if she
had told someone else about me? Was it too farfetched to think that she had
devised some complicated ruse to get me only
after
she had gotten
captured? Or maybe this man had nothing to do with her. What if he was just
some random baddie who flew solo?

     
No, he
definitely isn't working alone. I know it.

     
What then, was
he part of some sex-trafficking ring, maybe? But…was it even possible for my
luck to be
that
bad? I mean, there had to be a quota for that kind of
thing, right? So this couldn't have been random. There was a connection
somewhere.

     
My eyes fixated
on the phone settled on his thigh. What had he been doing with it? Had he
confirmed to someone that he'd acquired his target?

     
Who? Who sent
him?

     
"Is it
Valentina?" I asked quietly.

     
He looked at me
through the mirror, and for the first time I was able to see something other
than a dull, lifeless expression. It was small and unreadable, but it was
something. So, I would just have to go with the assumption that it was, in
fact, her.

     
Which would
bring me to the next round of questions…If it really
was
her, then she
must've already known that I was here in Seattle. Why didn't she just come get
me herself? Or had she been planning to do so before getting caught? Could this
have been a back-up plan? No, it just didn't make any sense. She was locked
away. How could she have planned things so perfectly? That this man would come
and get me - in a taxi, no less - at
just the right
time?

     
And then it hit
me.

     
…Holy fuck.

     
I was being
watched. And for this to happen today of all days, when I'd finally finished
the mural…It must've been going on for a while. But it was too hard to imagine
that someone could get away with lurking the premises of the Luxadigm.
Especially when the place specialized in security. So, as much as I didn't want
to admit it, I was left with the obvious: someone who worked in the building
was in on it.

     
Alright, now
think.
Word spreads quickly throughout the workplace, so anyone could have
easily known about my plans after I had shared them with Samantha. But it was
both Henry and Beth who knew that I'd just called a cab. Did that automatically
make them suspects? I didn't know. God, I didn't know anything...

     
My thoughts
were abruptly cut off as we pulled into what appeared to be…
an abandoned
shipyard?
I couldn't be sure, it was still too dark to see.

     
I'm not entirely
sure why, but I quickly reached into my bag and pulled out all my cash. I had
no pockets on me, so I stuffed the dollar bills into my bra, ignoring the
creepy smile the driver was giving me. If I made it out of here, the money was
coming with me.

     
Then I began
mentally cursing myself for not bringing my pepper spray with me to work.
Weapons weren't allowed, so of course I hadn't brought my gun. But the rules
hadn't stopped me from carrying another weapon.

     
I placed my bag
onto my lap and clutched it tightly, pretending to look out the window in fear
so the driver wouldn't become suspicious. It was fairly easy, especially with
my already too-big eyes. Seeing my own reflection in the window, I could tell
that I looked like a frightened teen.
Good. He needs to think that I'm weak.
I decided to let out a small, barely audible whine for extra effect. For the
second time, the driver reacted. Only this time it was more readable, causing
my stomach to twist uneasily. He smiled at me before continuing to look ahead.
Dearest
angels, please do not let me start panicking now. Please, please, please.

     
While he was
distracted, I quickly and quietly pulled out my knife from the inside pocket of
my purse. Slowly then, I opened it up. When unfolded, it was a total
seven-inches long with a three-inch blade of black stainless steel. I had never
used it before. I didn't want to use it now.

     
"Please," I asked in a hushed voice as we slowed down. The
clouds had given way to the moon, and I could see now that we were near some
docks. "What's going on? Isn't there something I can do?"
Would
bribing even work?

     
He stopped the
car and turned the ignition off, then moved to face me. "Enjoy what's
coming to you. And then pray for a quick death."

     
Smug look
aside, his eyes were empty. Hollow. As he turned back around, he finally began
to lower his gun, preparing to exit the car.

     
Time came to a
halt.

     
Could I kill
this man? Was it enough that he had basically threatened me? He hadn't hurt me
yet, and until he made an actual attempt that had me in absolute fear for my
life, it probably wouldn't count as self-defense. But now might be my only
chance. Did he plan to kill me himself? Was he going to take me to someone
else? Could I afford to wait and find out?

   
  
The gun. Focus on getting the gun.

     
Who was this
man? Did he have a family? Why was he doing this kind of thing? How badly would
it hurt him? Would I be punished? I didn't believe in hell - Earth could be
hell if I let it be - but what if I was wrong? Would I have to pay for this?
How would it effect my karma? And could I live with it? Would I officially be a
monster after this? Would I completely hate myself afterwards? Would Ethan hate
me?

     
Ethan...

     
What would
Ethan want me to do?

     
I didn't have
to think beyond that. As soon as the driver's hand reached for the door, my
body had already moved and the blade of my knife was a full three-inches deep
in the right side of his throat. It might not have been necessary, but I had
used all my strength just in case, so much that it felt as though I'd strained
my arm in the process. I didn't want to give him a chance to fight back. I
quickly pulled the knife out of him, hesitating for just a fraction of a second
as dark liquid slowly began to pool out of the wound, before plunging it right
back in - this time in the front. It was a little harder this time. I felt a
pressure pushing against the blade as I tried to get it in all the way.
Reflexively, his much larger hands grasped my own tightly. I was afraid he
might break them, so I pulled on his hair with my other hand as hard as I
could, yanking the knife back out when his hands eased around mine. He clutched
his throat as though trying to keep the blood in, his face now ashen.

     
The instant I
saw his right hand begin to lower, I knew he was reaching for the gun that had
dropped onto his lap. Rather than acting rashly, I actually tried to use my
head this time. I quickly guessed at the location of the carotid artery.
Placing the blade at the upper part of his right jaw, I slid it in a downward
curve with one hard motion. He returned his hand to his neck.

     
He didn't
actually scream, but the horrible gasps and gargles that ripped from his throat
had the same earsplitting effect as though he had. While he fought for air,
choking on his own blood, I prayed and prayed.

     
Please be
over. Please be over. Please be over.

     
My vision
blurred, and for a moment I was completely blinded. I wiped away the tears, but
they wouldn't stop streaming down my face.

     
This was
nothing like what I had done to the first man.

     
The first man
had died almost instantly - or that's what it had seemed like, at least. But
this man, on the other hand, was both conscious and suffering. If I
did
die after this, surely I would deserve it.

     
I'm not sure
how many seconds passed. One second alone seemed to be an eternity. But
eventually, he quieted. The heaving stopped. There was one long, drawn out
sound…one that I knew would haunt me forever. And then he was dead.

     
A sudden, loud
screech made me jump in my seat. Looking around, I saw nothing. That was when I
realized it had come from me. Now I was the one struggling to find air. The
tears still wouldn't stop.

     
There was a
dead man in here with me.

     
I had killed
him.

     
At that moment,
I no longer cared if I got out of here alive. I wanted to die. I moved to wipe
my nose, only to stop when I saw the blood all over my hand.

     
Ethan. I
need Ethan
.
He always knows what to do.

     
I clutched onto
my stomach, onto my knees, onto the seat beneath me, onto anything that would
hold me together. Inhaling deeply to try and calm myself, I was able to detect
a new and very distinct scent. Iron.

     
Out.

     
I had to get
out now.
If
there were others, I couldn't allow them to find me like
this. I wiped my nose with the sleeve of my non-bloody hand.

     
Okay…What
now?

     
Kick him out of
the cab and attempt to drive it myself?

     
You can't
drive.

     
Right. And what
would I do with a taxi, anyway? I was going to have to run for it on foot.

     
Leave your
bag. And your badge.

     
But I couldn't
afford to get caught. This wasn't a simple case of self-defense, was it? It was
a preemptive attack. I'd stabbed the man twice before finally slitting him. If
I got caught, it would be over, wouldn't it?

     
You'll be
fine. You're going to have to keep running after this. Leave them behind so
Ethan will know why.

     
…Okay, then.
The bag would probably only slow me down, anyway. I was glad that the only
other important item I had in there was my iPod. I stuck it in my left boot
along with my phone. They made for a super tight fit, but hopefully that would
help prevent them from slipping out. Then, I wiped the blood off of the knife
with my jacket before sticking it into the other boot along with the keys to
the apartment.

     
Holding my
breath, I reached over to grab the gun from the driver's lap. With it in my
hands, I instantly felt much safer. After turning the safety back on, I opened
up the cylinder to see how much ammo it had, glad to find that it was fully
loaded with six rounds. I tucked it into the back of my jeans.