Owned: An Alpha Anthology (56 page)

"Why did you tell him you were leaving the band, Reed? Why would you say that to him?" I knock back the drink in my shaking hand, while Lawson repeats his question.

"Did he start with the relationship shit again, Con?" Gunner asks. He was the only one I’d ever confided in about Jet’s propositions. We’d caught up in England a couple of years ago while the band were on a break and I’d told him all about it after Jet had bombarded me with a series of texts, declaring his undying love.

I nod my head. I struggle to swallow down the lump in my throat, but I don’t cry. I learnt not to cry after the first few beatings my dad gave me.

"What relationship shit?" Lawson asks.

I take a deep breath and try to speak without my voice wobbling. "Jet, he wanted… He had this idea that me and him should be together."

"What the fuck? What, you mean, like together, together?" Dom asks. I nod my head, which is now pounding with a headache. Lawson’s phone rings and he heads out into the living area of the suite, talking to someone about a press release and waiting until family members have been notified.

Dom’s phone rings next and he looks across at me as he speaks, "No baby, it’s Jet. Reed’s fine. Well, not fine, he found him, but he’s safe." He covers his eyes with his hand and starts to cry as he explains to Jade, his wife, what’s happened. He stands and walks into the bathroom as he talks. Dom and I stare at each other in silence for a few seconds.

"Someone needs to let his dad know," I say.

"I think that’s what Laws is arranging."

"You told Chelsea?" I ask him.

He nods. "I told her while you were still in with the old Bill. Her mum and dad are flying over to look after the kids while we get this all sorted out."

Fuck, we were supposed to fly home today. I can’t go anywhere until I go to the police station and they take a full statement, they’ve already told me that. Then there’ll be the funeral.

"The press are gonna be a nightmare with all this happening. I wanted to send the kids home, but Chels wanted them close." His eyes come up to meet mine. "You okay, have you called home to let anyone know? Chels said social media is going off about what’s happened. Most are reporting that it’s you or Jet. You should let your brothers know."

Fuck, yeah. Tyler and Jordan will be freaking out. I look around the bedroom trying to think where I last had my phone. I pick my jeans up from last night and find it in the pocket. It’s on silent and I have dozens of missed calls. I text both my brothers and tell them I’m fine. Then I call Tyler first.

"What the fuck’s going on Reed, Jenna’s fucking beside herself here."

My headache increases tenfold at the thought of what they’ve all been going through. "I’m sorry, the police wouldn’t let me talk to anyone." I take a few deep breaths. "Ty?"

"What mate, what’s happened? Just tell me you’re okay. Ethan’s in meltdown. It came up on his Twitter feed that you were dead, then all his mates started texting and Facebooking him." I can hear the panic in his voice.

"I’m okay Ty, it’s Jet..." I pause for a few seconds, "It’s Jet, he killed himself. I found him in the bath and…" I trail off. I don’t want to be doing this. I don’t want to be explaining this again. "Ty, tell Jen and the kids I love them and I’m sorry. I had to give a statement and I couldn’t make any calls till it was done." I have a million thoughts rushing through my brain. I just want to go home now. Go home and be with my family. "Tell Ethan not to repeat any of that. Let them all know that I’m okay, but they can’t post anything online till Jet’s dad’s been told."

I hear him sigh into the phone. "So I take it you won’t be home tonight?"

"No, no I won’t. I’ve gotta go to the police station and make a formal statement and then there’ll be the funeral. It’s pointless coming home just to fly back and the press will be up my arse everywhere I go anyway." I look around and realise everyone’s on their phones. Dom’s still in my bathroom, Lawson out in the living area and Gun’s still sitting in the chair he was in earlier. I’m not sure who he’s talking to, but he’s wiping tears from under his eyes and it breaks my heart. He’s a big bloke, always working out. His arms are bigger than my legs and he’s probably taller than me by a couple of inches. Watching him cry is just breaking my heart right now, but I still manage to keep a hold of my own tears.

"You gonna be alright on your own with all of that, Reed? I can fly over if you want?" Now I really want to cry.

"I’m alright Ty, honestly. You stay there with Jenna and the kids. If you have any trouble with the press, ring Stacey at the label on the number I gave you before."

"Have you rung, Jord?"

"No, can you do it now. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I just ain’t up to explaining it all again."

"Yeah, no problem mate, I can do that."

"Cheers."

"Reed?" I hold my breath, waiting for my brother’s words to come, hoping that they won’t break me.

"I love you, bro."

"I know you do, Ty. I know you do."

"You stay safe, yeah, and if you need me or Jordy to fly over just shout."

"I will, I will. I’ll speak to you over the next coupla days and let you know when I’ll be home."

"I’m so sorry, Reed. I’m so sorry about, Jet." We end our call.

I leave Dom and Gunner to their conversations and head out to the kitchen in search of some painkillers, just as the buzzer on the door goes. Lawson’s still talking and nods with his head for me to get it. I make sure the security latch is on before I open the door, just in case it’s a crazy fan. It’s worse, much worse. Amanda’s standing in front of me as I look through the gap. I swing the door open and walk away leaving her standing there. She’s so not who I want to see at this moment. I sit on the sofa, reach for the remote control and then change my mind, not wanting to watch the bullshit that’s likely on the telly right now.

"I’ve booked a room and organised the press conference for three o’clock. Marty Goldman from the label is with Jet’s dad now. I’ve cancelled everybody’s travel arrangements, and arranged first-class tickets for Gunner’s in-laws. They should be here in the morning. I’ve organised extra security and the hotel has agreed to supply some of their own." I listen to Amanda’s clear, clipped English accent coming from behind me as she informs Lawson of what she’s arranged.

"Do you want someone from the funeral home to make contact with Mr. Harrison or should I leave him to make his own arrangements?"

"No, send someone over. Marty’s telling him that we’ll take care of the arrangements. Can you organise some food to be sent up. Reed, what d’ya fancy mate?" I look over my shoulder and can’t help but notice the way Amanda’s eyes are on me.

"I’m good mate, I really couldn’t face food right now."

He shakes his head at me. "Dom, Gunner, get out here," he orders. The other boys walk out and we all stand and wait to hear what Lawson has to say. "I’ve called a press conference for three. I want you to get some food inside you, have a shower and try and look like you’re doing okay." He looks each of us in the eye and I think for a few seconds he’s going to cry. "This is fucking horrible and it’s only gonna get worse over the next few days. Let’s face the press together and then come back to my room and get totally fucked up. Let me answer any questions about how Jet died and about the band’s future. Reed, it’s all gonna be aimed at you, as word already seems to be out that you were the one who found him. Just answer what you feel is appropriate and leave the rest to me." He looks at all of us again and lets out a long sigh. "How’s everyone doing, honestly? How’s Chelsea and Jade?" he asks Dom and Gun "We’ve put extra security in place and we’ve booked out all the rooms on this floor. I think it’ll be best if the kids all stay here or fly home when we go to New York for the funeral, assuming that’s where his dad wants the funeral held."

"What about what Jet wanted?" Dom asks

"What?" Lawson frowns in confusion.

"Jet wanted his funeral to take place at his house in Santa Monica. Then he wants to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the Pacific, in front of the house. He’s talked about it a few times. He said it was written in his will."

We’ve all heard Jet say this. I don’t know why Laws isn’t remembering it.

"Shit, yeah, he did. I remember him talking about it now." Lawson’s face suddenly crumbles and he starts to cry. Amanda reaches out her hand to him and taps him on the shoulder. It’s a cold disingenuous move and for the first time in a long time, I feel the need to actually want to give someone a cuddle, or is it that I’m suddenly overcome with the need to
be
cuddled, to be held. This life we lead is so fucking shallow and superficial. Until Gunner put his arms around me earlier, I actually don’t remember the last time someone put their arms around me out of a gesture of pure love and affection, because they just wanted to reassure me everything would be all right. It was probably the last time I left England, which is now over a year ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been touched. The boys, Dom, Jet and Gun, we all go in for the manly back slap kind of cuddle and then there’re the photos with the fans, they usually put their arms around me. But the last time I had a real full on cuddle was probably from my niece, Evie.

She’s my brother Jordan’s little girl and for some reason, the kid loves me. All my nieces and nephews love me, but especially Evie. When I last left England, she’d clung to my neck and cried when I was leaving for the airport. She begged me not to go, she begged to come with me. My brother had to uncurl her little fat fingers from around my neck to prize her hands away. I hate being away so much, every chance I get, I go back to England, but the kids always seem to have changed so much in the time I’ve been away. I Skype and FaceTime them as much as possible, especially Ethan, he’s my only nephew. We talk every Sunday afternoon, after his football match. We talk football, music and now that he’s turned sixteen, we talk girls too if his mum, dad and sister aren’t about.

I reach up and drag both my hands through my hair. I feel like my skin is on fire. I stand up from the chair I’ve sat down on at some stage, but my legs don’t want to move so I sit down again. My skin feels clammy, my heart’s pounding and I suddenly feel sick. I want to go home. I want to be with my brothers. I want to be a million miles away from all this bullshit and I don’t want any of it to be true.

REED BY LESLEY JONES

5

Just over an hour later, we’re sitting in a row behind a table, the world’s press piled into the hotel’s conference room. In front of us reporters, television cameras, photographers and boom mics, along with a sea of faces sit, crouch and stand before us.

Lawson puts his hand up to quiet everyone. The lawyer that was with me earlier sits to Lawson’s left, I sit to his right. Next to me is Dom, then Gunner. The room slowly becomes quiet as Lawson clears his throat.

"I’m gonna read out a short statement and then I’ll take a few of your questions."

He clears his throat again. "At ten forty-seven a.m. today, Jethro Matthias Harrison was discovered in his hotel room at the Ritz Carlton. Jet was found to be unconscious and unresponsive. EMT’s were called to the scene and despite numerous attempts to revive him, he was declared dead at eleven eighteen. The cause of death is yet to be established, but the police are not treating it as suspicious and are not looking for anyone else at this time. Obviously our first thoughts are with Jet’s family. His dad and next of kin have been notified and we hope that you’ll be respectful and give them the space and the privacy they’ll need to grieve."

Dom lets out a sob from beside me and gets up and leaves the table. This is going to be so hard for him. They had been lifelong friends, gone through high school and college together. Jet was best man at Dom’s wedding and godfather to his first born. Gunner moved up a seat and draped his arm across my back and over my shoulder.

Lawson continues, "Jet was an exceptionally talented musician, intelligent, witty and loyal. He was a true friend, loved by his bandmates and adored by his fans. Millions across the world will be mourning with us at his untimely passing." He looks along to where Gun and I are sitting and swallows a few times and then back out at the sea of faces. "I’ll answer just a couple of your questions. Please keep them brief and don’t waste my time asking things that are disrespectful, or that you know full well I won’t answer."

The cameras have been flashing the whole time we’ve been seated, but they quiet for a minute as the journalists call out their questions. The shouting is so loud that I can’t make out a word any of them are saying, it’s just noise, flashing lights and more noise. My head is pounding and I want to get the fuck out of here.

Lawson points to a female reporter whose face is familiar. I think that she’s interviewed us before. The room quiets marginally as she looks to me and says, "This question’s for Reed." Lawson looks at me and nods, I nod back, letting him know I’m okay with it.

She’s short and slim with long fair hair. She’s almost swallowed up by all the other reporters and cameras and boom mics surrounding her. I remember her now, her name’s Brittany or Whitney or one of those all American kind of names. Her eyes are blue and she gives me a small smile before she asks her question. I remember now why I liked her before, she saw us as humans when she’s interviewed us in the past. We weren’t just a commodity, she seemed genuinely interested. The photographer that was with her that day was a tall skinny girl, covered in tattoos and she introduced her to us as her wife, Charlotte or Charlie, something like that. I’ve no idea why I’m sitting here thinking all of this right now. Maybe it’s better than thinking about anything else.

"Reed, just wanted to say to you and the rest of the boys from Shift how sorry I am for your loss." I nod my head and try to say thank you, but my mouth is so dry that my lips move, but no sound comes out. "Is it true that it was you that found Jet this morning and that he took his own life?" The image of Jet lying at the bottom of his blood-soaked bath suddenly flashes into my head and I can’t breathe. His eyes were open wide and staring right at me, just like my mum, just like Miles. I look at Gunner, then at Lawson, but I can’t get any words out. I push back on my chair, but stand too soon and the table tilts as my knees hit it. I still can’t breathe. I can breathe out, I just can’t get a breath in. The jug of water and the glasses start sliding to the floor. Cameras start flashing and the noise, the shouting and the questions start again. I just need to get away from all of it.

Lawson and Gun are at my sides and guide me out of the conference room and straight into the lift. I can hear them talking and asking if I’m okay, but the sound is muffled, like I’m hearing it under water. I bend over and stare at the floor, trying to focus on getting some air into my lungs.

"Fuck," I manage to say as I stand up straight.

The lift door opens and I hear Lawson say, "I’ve had all your stuff moved to my room, Reed. I didn’t think you’d want to stay in there." He gestures with his chin toward my old room. I both shake and nod my head, as I’m not sure which is the appropriate answer. He opens the door to his suite with the key card and I rush through the room to the bathroom and hurl into the toilet. The bourbon I drank earlier burns my throat on its way back up. My stomach now feels as empty as my chest, my heart. I splash my face with water and rinse my mouth.

As I step back out into the suite, Gunner, Lawson, Dom, Amanda, Chelsea and Jade are all in the room. Dom passes me a shot glass full of vodka, I knock it back. That’s the last thing I really remember until my feet touchdown in England a week later.

~~TO BE CONTINUED~~

The rest of Reed’s story will be told in the full-length novel Conviction, where we’ll also get to meet Amoeba and hear her side of the story.

Out February 2015.
-Lesley Jones