Authors: Maris Black
The abrupt sound of a throat clearing has us scattering apart, and I snatch my hands out of my pockets and straighten my shirt.
“Sure you won’t share?” Allister rolls out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout. “He looks so yummy.”
Corey is on Allister in a blink, fisting his t-shirt at the collar and backing him up against the nearest wall. “He’s mine. Got that? Only mine.” His voice is gravelly and deep, and frighteningly intense.
Allister stares him squarely in the eyes without flinching. “I see you still like the rough stuff, Cor. Better confine it to the bedroom, though, unless you want a replay of last New Year’s.” He twirls his finger, imitating the sound of a police siren, and then breaks into a fit of laughter. “You beat the shit out of that dignitary, dude. I thought you were going to kill him for sure.”
“You’re leaving, Allis,” Corey grates, letting go of his collar. “Don’t come looking for me again. We’re finished.”
Allister rolls his eyes and sighs. “Fine, Corey. No wonder you can’t keep any friends, with that temper of yours.” He turns his gaze on me. “You better watch out, Ben. I know he doesn’t seem like it, but—”
“Get the fuck out,” Corey rages, and Allister makes a gangling escape through the front door, slamming it behind him.
“What was he talking about? Dignitaries, fights, police…” It all sounds very mysterious, and difficult to reconcile with the Corey I am coming to know.
“Ben, there are things about my life that I’m not quite ready to talk about. All the stuff I’ve told you so far is old news. Things I came to terms with a long time ago.” His eyes darken as he seems to mull something over in his mind. “The other stuff is too fresh, and to be honest, I can’t quite believe I’m out of it yet. I promise I
will
tell you. Just not yet, okay?”
“Okay.” I’d like to press him, just because of my own gnawing curiosity, but I don’t. I figure a man’s demons are his own until he’s ready to share them with someone else.
15
“WE gonna get another show in here tonight?” The waitress at the Bottom is much more talkative with us this time. I guess now that we’ve been here twice, we’re regulars.
“What do you mean?” I ask, and Corey squeezes his lips into a tight line, biting back a laugh.
“You know what I’m talking about, honey. I saw him lay one on you the last time y’all was here. Don’t worry, though. The Bottom is a lot like Vegas. What goes on down here stays down here. I told my girlfriends about it, but I didn’t mention names, Dr. Hardy. ”
My eyes widen. “I didn’t know you recognized me. What’s your name?”
“Helen Fields. You doctored my little grand baby for the croup last winter.”
“What did your girlfriends say when you told them, Helen?” Corey asks.
“They said to give them a call if you boys showed back up.”
“Oh God.” I bury my face in my hands. “This has gone way too far.”
Helen pats me gently on the shoulder. “I haven’t called anybody. But I wish I could. Those girls could always use a good thrill.”
“No, Helen, please don’t call your friends. We were just horsing around that night, playing a game that got out of control. I had just broken up with my girlfriend, and Corey was showing me a good time, that’s all. You can rest assured that he and I are just friends, and there will be no more of… that kind of thing. I’m not gay.”
Helen frowns and looks to Corey.
“Well, I
am.
” He shrugs, taking me completely off guard with his surprise admission.
“Then I’ll tell you what,” she says, her eyes lighting up. “I know someone who’s just perfect for you. He comes in here a good bit. Hang on, I think he’s here right now.”
Before he can answer, she bustles off into the back room, where I think I caught a glimpse of pool tables and video games. While she’s gone, I search Corey’s face, trying to divine how he’s feeling about all of this, but I can’t read him.
“Corey, I—”
He holds up a hand to silence me. “Don’t say anything. It’s not necessary to explain yourself. You’re a prominent figure in the community, worried about your image, and I’m a monkey wrench. I get that. I need to accept the reality of how things are and quit hoping for more than what you can give. It’s my fault for crushing on a straight guy, anyway.”
“It’s not your fault. But I’m glad you understand that I have a serious problem, and that I have no idea what to do about it. If I could give you more, I would.”
“I know you would.” He reaches out to put his hand on mine, but pulls back at the last second. “Oops. Gotta watch myself. Wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”
I give him a wistful smile. I really don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t see any way to incorporate him into my life in any public way. It’s tearing me up inside. I hope he knows that.
“Jesus
damn
,” he exclaims, staring wide-eyed over my shoulder.
When I turn to see what he’s gawking at, Helen is returning from the back room with a sandy-haired mountain of a man in tow. Substantially muscled and even taller than Corey, he is easily the largest man in the room. As he and Helen approach our table, I’m praying with every molecule of my being that he is
not
the someone she thinks is just perfect for Corey.
“You have got to be kidding me,” the man says in a smooth, deep voice when he reaches our table. “The new EMT? This is like some cosmic joke.”
Corey shoots him a puzzled look. “Have we met?”
“Nah, but I know who you are. It’s a small town. Everybody knows the new guy.”
Helen beams at Corey. “This is the one I was telling you about… Mike Tanner. He’s a fireman.”
Corey reaches out and takes his hand in a big macho handshake, and I can practically feel the testosterone firing. “Corey Butler. Nice to meet you, Mike. Why don’t you sit down and join us? This is my friend Ben Hardy.”
“I know who he is.” He clasps my hand and shakes. I think he’s trying to crush my knuckles, but I’m not about to flinch. “Nice to meet you, Ben.”
“Same here.” That’s not exactly the truth, but I can’t tell him how I really feel.
“I’ll bring you boys a round of beers on the house,” Helen announces and scurries away.
Corey leans closer to Mike. “So it is pretty ironic that we’ve met here, huh? A fireman and an EMT.”
Mike laughs, leaning back in his chair and smirking playfully. “More than you can imagine. Because I know something you don’t know.”
“What?”
“I don’t know if I should tell you. Maybe I ought to wait until tomorrow and surprise you.”
“Don’t tease me. What is it?”
They’re flirting right in front of me, and I’m about to be sick. Especially because I just pretty much told Corey that nothing is going to happen between him and me.
“Well…” Mike leans in close, licking his lips and eying Corey like he’s his next meal. “I’m going to be your partner on the ambulance for the next four nights.”
Oh. My. God.
“No shit. You’re the sub? This is surreal, man. Absolutely unbelievable.”
Mike winks and nods. “Fate is a funny thing, ain’t it?”
Indeed.
Helen serves our beers and smiles at the other two, practically ignoring me. I guess if I’m not part of her Cupid operation, I’m worthless. “Have fun, boys,” she calls, crossing the room to wait on another table.
Mike looks directly at me. “Hey, I’m not stepping on any toes here, am I?”
“No,” Corey blurts before I can reply. “Ben and I are just friends. He’s straight.”
A huge grin spreads across Mike’s face, and he rubs his golden-stubbled chin. “Cool, cool, cool. You guys wanna play some pool? My table is reserved for almost another hour.”
Corey pushes his chair back and stands. “Sounds like fun.”
“No, thanks,” I say. “You guys go ahead. I think I see a girl I went to school with over there.”
“Really, Ben? Are you sure?” A hint of worry flashes across Corey’s features, and then it’s gone again.
I take a swig of beer and nod, and the two of them retire to the back room… where I can’t see them anymore. I’m going to need more alcohol. I get two more beers, feeling like Dr. Hannigan clutching one in each hand, but I’m beyond giving a shit.
“Hey, Ann.”
The woman looks up from her mixed drink, tossing her long auburn hair and smiling. “Ben Hardy, oh my gosh. What a surprise.”
“Yeah, there are a lot of those tonight. Are you alone?”
“Well… I’m supposed to be meeting a girl from work, but she just called and said she’d be another half hour. Would you like to sit with me?”
“Love to.”
We chat for a while, and just as I’m polishing off my first beer, my cell phone vibrates once in my pocket, alerting me that I have a text message. “What the hell…”
Corey:
A
re you okay? You’re not going to do something stupid, are you?
Me:
Talking to Ann about taking her virginity at prom. Better watch out. Your boyfriend is going to get jealous if you keep texting me.
Corey:
Don’t worry. He knows you’re just a friend. Did you really take her virginity?
Ann gestures toward my phone. “Business or personal?”
“Business,” I lie.
Me:
Yes. Thinking about getting a replay tonight. Come get the house key so you can let yourself in. And don’t wait up.
Corey:
Screw you, Ben. Why are you doing this?
Me:
Don’t bring that skeevy fireman to my house. If you want to fuck him, do it at his place.
“Must be serious business,” Ann says. “Is something going on at the hospital?”
“Nothing to worry about. Just dealing with a smart-ass employee.”
“Well, I hope you’re not too upset tonight. I thought you and I might do a little dancing, for old time’s sake. Maybe I should request our prom theme song, what was it called—”
“I’m sorry, Ann. Will you please excuse me? I need to take care of something.” I scoot my chair back, and she gives me a confused half-smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”
“Sure, see you.”
I make a beeline for the front door. I do feel bad about being rude, after all I am the one who approached her in the first place, but I’m far too agitated to pretend to be interested in her chatter. Hell, I’m not even interested in my own chatter. I just need to get out of here, away from Corey and his new fuck buddy in the back room, because I’m suffocating.
The air is brisk outside, just what I need to clear my head. Maybe I’ll be sane by the time I get home.
“Hey man, wait up. You got a light?” Corey runs up behind me with a cigarette shoved between his fingers.
“I don’t smoke. And I didn’t think you did, either.”
“Yeah, I quit. But I’m so stressed out right now, I gotta have one. I bummed this one off of some guy inside, but I forgot I had no light.”
“Guess you’re shit out of luck, then.” I pause at the corner, shivering from the cold and from emotional overload. My nerves are jangled right now, and I just need to get home and go to bed.
Corey laughs, cupping his hands together and blowing warm air through them, still clutching the cigarette between his fingers. “You seem stressed. Didn’t work out with your lady this evening?”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “I don’t care anymore. Don’t need anyone. I do just fine on my own.”
“Yeah, but I bet you thought you had a piece of ass lined up for tonight, and now it’s just you and the hand, huh?”
I stare at him, particularly at his pupils, wondering if he’s been doing drugs or something. He seems… off.
“Sorry, man,” he continues. “Guess I’ve got sex on the brain. See, my girlfriend and I were dancing in the club, and I asked her to come to the john and suck my dick, and she got all offended. Then she drives off in
my
fucking car, with my wallet in her purse. No way to go, no money, no place to even sleep tonight. So I know how you feel. I’m screwed, too.”
I’m gaping at him now. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He stretches and runs his hand not so subtly across his dick, and my heart jumps up into my throat. When he speaks again, his voice is low, conspiratorial. “I’m so desperate for money, I’m thinking about going in that bar and finding a guy who’s got fifty bucks and offering to suck him off. I mean, I’m not gay or anything, but there’s nothing wrong with two straight guys helping each other out, right?”
I swallow hard, my head spinning as I realize what’s going on. This is what Corey used to do to scam guys for money. This was his game. It makes me sad and a little sick to my stomach, but my dick stiffens just the same.
Even though I know it’s an illusion, I want him. I can almost see the mechanisms of his seduction, subtle little hand motions, the way he cocks his head… Like my coin toss trick, he’s choreographed a seamless performance meant to guide and manipulate. Only he’s way better at this than I’ll ever be at sleight of hand. He hasn’t propositioned me directly, but he’s worked the thought so scrupulously into my mind that I almost feel like it’s my idea.