Owning Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC Series Book 4) (12 page)

“When I first met you, I didn’t like you. No, that’s not true. Let me rephrase that better. I didn’t
want
to like you. Not because you were sexy and I felt this connection to you, but because I was afraid of what it meant to be who you are. I’ve heard things about bikers, even seen some in action, but you aren’t anything like them or the image people think up when they hear something about a biker. You’re different, Michael. Your whole club is different.”

I don’t see any judgment or anger in his gaze, just understanding. I’m sure he’s heard this before, or if not, he’s suspected that people think this way about him.

“I feel ashamed I felt that way, but I’m so grateful for the time I’ve had with you and your family. It’s shown me how wrong people can be about one another and why you should never judge someone by what they wear, who they associate with, or what they do. I’m so sorry I felt that way, but I promise you…I will never make that mistake again. I will not tolerate anyone doing the same thing I did while I’m around. Especially if the misconception is about you. I’m not sorry I spoke up to my boss and I’m definitely not sorry I quit my job. I don’t want to work for someone who can’t see past a persona or in your case, a cut. I sincerely hope you forgive me for the way I misjudged you, and believe me when I say I know I’ve seen the error of my ways.”

I really hope he understands, though I’d get it if he couldn’t. What I did, judging him before I even knew him—no matter if he doesn’t know the full story behind why I felt that way about bikers—was wrong. I wouldn’t wish what I did to Michael on anyone. I wouldn’t like someone thinking I’m a goody two-shoes because I’m a nurse or that I think I’m smarter than everyone else. That’s not what I think or how I want people to see me.

“Baby, I completely understand why you felt that way. I was once in the same boat you were when you met me. Bikers are kind of like the redheaded stepchild; no one understands us and are even afraid of us…even if they don’t know why. And yeah, some bikers are exactly what people say; they’re mean, don’t take no for an answer, and rule through fear. But not us. I’m just glad you see that now because if you didn’t, I would do everything in my power to get you to believe in us—in
me
. I would never do anything to hurt you, Tiny Rose Chamberlain. Never,” he declares.

“What made you change your mind about bikers?” I ask, wanting to understand him more.

A dark look comes across his face, but he covers it up just as fast as it shows up. “I’ll tell you about it another time. But right now, what do ya say we get out of here, huh? I want to see if we can catch Dani, Sara, and Harlow before they leave.”

He squeezes my hand before slowly making his way back to his wheelchair. Falling into it, I notice for the first time since I came out of the office how shaky and almost pale he looks. I’m going to have to pamper him for the rest of the night so he gets his strength back.

“Are they waiting for you?” I ask, not sure why his daughters would be here.

“No, baby. But I don’t want to spoil the surprise for you. Let’s just get down there and hope we catch them,” he says with a wink and now I’m even more confused. What surprise? I didn’t even know there was one.

Deciding not to ask any more questions, I keep quiet and wheel him over to the elevator. When it opens, I’m happy to see no one else is inside. I hate being in an elevator when it’s crowded. Makes me feel claustrophobic or something.

It only takes a few seconds before we reach the first floor and we’re heading toward the door when we hear someone shout, “Mack!”

We both turn our heads at the same time to see all three of his girls smiling big and practically skipping over to us. I notice that Blaze, Toby, and Louie are here as well, though they’re following at a more leisurely pace. But they too are smiling widely. I guess everyone knows the secret except me.

“Well?” Michael asks just as they reach us, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

“Well,
what
, old man?” Dani replies back, which only has Michael seeming to bounce in his seat even more.

“What did the doctor say?” he tries again.

“Oh my goodness, are you okay? What were you being seen for? What doctor was it? If you need me to, I can refer you to someone else if you need a second opinion,” I say, suddenly concerned. I know I’ve barely begun to get to know her, but I care about her. If something is wrong, I want to help any way I can.

Michael and the rest of the guys laugh, but I don’t pay them any attention, focusing solely on Dani.

“I’m fine,
Mom
,” she says with mock attitude and a smile, but for some reason, her calling me Mom punches me right in the gut. I’m not one hundred percent sure if it was a good punch or not, but it got me right in the feelers.

“Yeah, they’re fine. Now tell us what you found out,” Michael tries again, but this time, I can tell Dani is going to give in and give him what he wants.

“Well,” she starts, dragging it out in suspense.

Michael make a motion with his hands as if to say, “Spit it out.”

“We’re having a girl!” I hear Sara say happily before Dani can say anything else.

I look at her in surprise and almost don’t understand what she just said, but then I look down to her stomach and notice there is a little baby bump there. How did I not notice that before?

“Another baby girl!” Michael booms, obviously happy with this news.

“Oh my gosh, congrats. I didn’t know you were expecting,” I throw in there, feeling a little odd that I seem to be the only one who didn’t know.

“Thank you―” Sara says.

Michael interrupts, “And that ain’t all.”

He’s looking between Harlow and Dani like he’s waiting for them to say something. Are they pregnant too? No way. All three of them? That’s highly unlikely.

“No, that ain’t all,” Dani says, then reaches down to rub her belly. Though she’s not showing as much as Sara is, I can make out a little bit of a baby bump on her too. Wow, that’s crazy!

“It’s a boy!” Dani says excitedly. She’s already got twins—a boy and a girl—but I can see how much she really wanted another boy. Though I have no doubt she’d be just as happy if this baby was a girl, she’s over the moon that she gets another boy. I’m sure Blaze is as well if his smirk is anything to go by.

“Oh, look at that, brother. I guess destiny decided to give you a break after all and not give you more than one this go around,” Michael says.

“It’s about fuckin’ time that bitch gave me a break. I have way more than I can handle with this one here,” Blaze says, grabbing Dani around the waist from behind. She playful jabs him in the side with her elbow.

“Well, speaking of twins,” Louie speaks for the first time, and everyone looks at him in surprise and disbelief.

“You’re shittin’ me,” Michael yells.

“Nope. The doctor thought he heard two heartbeats the first time we were able to hear it, but the ultrasound confirmed it. We’re having twins!” Louie says before Blaze and Toby clasp him on the back and give him a half man-hug, congratulating him while Dani and Sara hug Harlow full on.

“Oh wow, that’s amazing, Harlow. I’m so happy for you. Happy for all of you,” I say, standing off to the side, watching as the girls embrace and Michael laughs and talks with the guys. For the first time today, I feel out of place.

But the girls don’t let that last long, because they close the few steps that separate us and engulf me into their arms, putting me smack dab in the middle of the three of them, creating a circle around me.

“Thank you, Rose. I’m so happy, but nervous,” Harlow says. I’m pretty sure she’s talking about the fact that she’s having not one baby, but two, though it could be about having a baby in general. I know I’d be scared out of my fuckin’ mind if I was pregnant.

I never really thought about kids except to say I didn’t want any. I never wanted to bring a child up in the world we live in, thinking everything was bad and will hurt you because everything I’d ever experienced had. I’m not saying I’d be a shitty parent like I had growing up, or that if I had more than one kid that they’d turn out like me and my brother, but I didn’t want to find out. Plus, when I decided I wanted to be a nurse, there was never any time to think about kids. And you need a man to have a baby and I never kept one long enough to even attempt to create one.

But I’m thankful for that because the life I live wouldn’t suit a baby. I work long hours pretty much every single day, including every holiday. I’d never be home, so my kid wouldn’t even know who I was. They’d grow up thinking the babysitter down the street was their mother.

“Oh, honey, you’ll do just fine. Plus, I’ve been there before, babe. If you need any advice or help, you know you can come to me,” Dani says. She would be the best person to go to. She has twins already, so what better person to ask advice from?

“Me too,” Sara adds, and even though she doesn’t currently have kids, I’m sure she’d be a great help as well.

Not sure if I should, but I just go with it. “And I’ll help out with anything you need as well. I know you don’t know me very well, but I’d be happy to do anything I can. Even if it’s just answer medical questions or if you have concerns about health.” Even though I didn’t want to have a baby myself doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Heck, I was going to be a nurse in the NICU, but then I couldn’t stand to see all those sick babies all the time and feel like I couldn’t do anything. It’s hard seeing a baby sick and struggling to live, even if they aren’t yours. They shouldn’t have to fight so hard for life that young.

“I’d really appreciate that…thank you, Rose. Though I may annoy you with all the medical questions I’ll have.” She laughs but I keep a straight face.

“Oh, nonsense, Harlow. You could never annoy me. Plus, talking medical is something I’ll never tire of. Especially now that I don’t have a job,” I add that last part in there for my ears only, but they end up hearing anyway.

“You got fired? Why? Because you were helping Mack?” Sara asks, concern all over her face. Harlow’s expression matches Sara’s, but when I look at Dani, she looks exactly like Michael did before I told him what was wrong.

“No, no. I quit. I like spending time with you all and I wasn’t ready to leave Mack just yet,” I say, using his nick name because I know he only likes it when I call him Michael when it’s just the two of us.

“Well, I’m not happy that you felt you needed to quit your job in order to still spend time with us, but I’m happy you’re staying. You’re such a great woman, and the way Mack is with you? He’s like a whole new person. He’s happy, and I like seeing him that way. He deserves it.”

I couldn’t agree more. He’s what every man should strive to become; he’s loving and loyal, but fierce and hard at the same time. It’s a very lethal combination.

“So, are you going to make me guess or are you going to tell me what you’re having? A boy and a girl like Dani? Two girls? Two boys?” Michael asks, ever the impatient one, but I don’t blame him. This is exciting news.

Harlow looks at Louie first and they share a knowing smile. Then, turning back and facing all of us, she says, “We’re having twin boys!”

Chapter Eleven

Mack

We’ve been in the truck on our way back to the clubhouse for thirty minutes and I still can’t wipe this stupid smile off my face. I’m gonna be a grandpa again times four! Three more boys and a girl I get to spoil rotten. I’m over the moon fuckin’ happy about it, but I gotta say, it’s even more special that I got to share this with Rose.

She was in the dark about the pregnancies because the girls didn’t want to tell anyone until they knew what they were having. They said they wanted to be able to tell everyone at the same time. I don’t get that shit, but that was their decision to make, not mine, so I honored their wishes. Didn’t mean it wasn’t hard at times, especially when I saw Rose playing with EJ and Harley, or when I’d notice Dani or one of the other girls rubbing their stomachs when they thought no one was looking. But I’m always watching my girls; every single one of them. They mean more to me than my own life.

I know it was a huge shock for Rose to find out and to feel like she was the only one who didn’t know, but as soon as we got in the car, I told her no one back at the clubhouse knows. She got a smile on her face when she heard that, thinking she’s special. But even without all of that, she is very special. To me, to my girls, and even to all my brothers. They know something is going on with us, they just don’t know how deep it runs. Shit, I don’t even think we know how deep this runs, but we’re gonna figure it out together.

Another thing that makes me insanely happy is that I know Rose isn’t going anywhere. This morning, I dreaded going to the doctor. Not because I didn’t think my condition was improving or that they would have bad news, but because I knew how well I was doing. Thanks to Rose. But that meant the doctor would say she’d done her job and I no longer needed her. And that may be true in the medical form, but in every other way, I still needed her. I was too used to going to bed with her in my arms and waking up next to her every morning. I don’t think I could go a day without that, let alone forever.

“Hey smiley pants, did ya hear me?” Rose asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Huh? No, sorry. What did ya say?” I ask. Judging by her playful tone, she’s not mad, though.

“I was thinking out loud and wondering if I should plan a baby shower for Dani, Sara, and Harlow. Then I asked if you think they’d like that? I don’t even know if Dani had one for the twins.”

Thinking about what she said, it just makes me like her even more. This woman is such a giver; always thinking about others and what she can do for them. I love that about her.

“No, Dani didn’t have one when she was pregnant with the twins. Shit was kind of crazy during that time. We were having club problems and then her dad came into town wanting to see her, and Blaze and I were trying to take care of that and not upset her,” I say, remembering all the shit that happened. The way Dani found out she was pregnant, Blaze acting funny, and her dad showing up, then the chaos and worry about how she delivered, the surprise about finding out she had twins, and then that fuckin’ nurse trying to take EJ. Shit was crazy…it’s no wonder we didn’t have time to throw her a baby shower. Though, can’t say that I’d plan that shit, or even be there for the party. Okay, that’s a lie—if she would have wanted me there, I would have been.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Rose says, snapping her head toward me, then back to the road. “What do you mean her ‘father’? I thought you were her dad.” Ah, I can see how that would be confusing. I guess I’m just so used to people either knowing she’s not my real daughter, or just not caring what they think on that subject because it’s none of their business. It never even occurred to me to tell Rose. When she would call the girls my daughters, it didn’t faze me because everyone calls them that.

“Shit, I’m sorry, baby. I guess I forgot to mention that because I’m so used to people knowing. No, I’m not her real dad. Her piece of shit birth father left her when she was three after her mother died. He signed his rights away to her grandmother―that’s who raised her. She never even saw him until the day of her grandmother’s funeral. Asshole,” I say, wishing I would have thought to deck him one for that little number there. Oh well, I could always track him down and do it. Need to check up on him anyway. It’s been a while since I’ve made sure he’s kept to the agreement of staying far away.

“After some shit happened to her, she found her way here. I took her in and she became like a daughter to me. Same as the other two. They aren’t my real daughters, but to me, they are. I love them like they were my own flesh and blood…the only thing missing is the adoption papers and name change. Though I think they’re a little too old for that, huh?” I say with a laugh at the end, though I wonder what they would do if I did get those drawn up. Hmm, maybe I’ll have to think about that.

“Wow, I never would have guessed. In a way, they look like you, act like you. Shit, Dani talks like you,” Rose adds in last minute and chuckles, thinking she’s funny. But she’s right. Dani’s been around me a long time…I guess my way of talking rubbed off on her.

“Yup, well, there’s that too.” I laugh with her, then get serious. “But they are my daughters in all the ways that matter, and that’s good enough for me.” They don’t need to have my last name or even call me Dad. I know who they are and I’ll always be there for them.

“Wow,” she breathes out the word, like she didn’t say it for me to hear, but I hear everything she says. I don’t ever want to miss anything that comes out of that gorgeous mouth of hers.

“Back to what we were talking about though, and to answer your question, I think they’d really love if you did that for them. I think it’s a great idea, baby.” I love that she wants to do something so special and nice for them. I love it so much that I’d even help plan and prepare for this party. Well, only if she asks, that is. No need to torture myself unnecessarily.

Smiling big, she nods to herself. “All right then, it’s settled. I’ll talk to the girls and see about when they want to have it. Some moms like to have them before the baby is born, but others like to wait until after. Though, that’s usually because they don’t want to find out the sex of the baby, and Dani, Sara, and Harlow already know what they’re having.” She goes quiet, looking like she’s in deep thought, then shakes her head before adding, “Well, I’ll still ask them.”

“You do that, baby. I’m sure either way, they’d love it.”

The rest of the trip is quiet. I can’t be sure, but I’d assume Rose is thinking and making plans for this baby shower she wants to do. Me? I’m thinking about lots of things, but the one that is the most important to me is getting Rose in bed and naked the moment we get back to the clubhouse.

***

The last few weeks have gone by amazingly. Everything seems to be perfect in my world. My girls are starting to show more and they seem really happy with their men—my brothers. Rose and I are getting closer and it seems like she gets happier and more open with me every day that passes.

Things with the club have been okay, and the reason I say it’s just okay is because there are still things that need to be done and things that are unfinished.

Tyke is still undercover inside the King’s clubhouse. We hear from him less and less, but we’re hoping that’s because he’s being brought into that inner circle. It still makes me nervous and twitchy, but I know he can handle himself if the shit hits the fan. He’s a decorated Marine who served five tours overseas. For the last four years of his enlistment, he was a member of the Marine Corps Special Forces. So yeah, he can handle anything they throw at him. Doesn’t mean I like it. I just won’t risk putting him in danger by reaching out. He’ll find a way to contact us if he needs to or if he finds something out.

So with no news from Tyke, we haven’t done much on the front of preparing for what the Kings have planned. No need to start a war if one isn’t needed, and no need to bring attention to ourselves when it’s not the time to. We’ll work it out once we have more intel.

But for right now, I think I’ll stick to worrying about things I have control over. Like getting stronger.

I’ve been doing great with my recovery since my last doctor’s appointment. The exercises they gave me to do at home seem to be helping, but Rose still helps me with a few more advanced exercises because she knows I can handle them. Plus, she knows I want to be at my best sooner rather than later.

She also still does those massages on me, but those usually turn into more. I can’t help it though. Every time she touches me, no matter how professional she is, I’m instantly hard and can’t stop myself from ripping her clothes off and sinking myself so deep inside her that you’d think we were the same person.

I haven’t used the wheelchair since that day at the hospital. I’ve made it my mission to never use it again, but I do have to take things slow some days when I work particularly hard on my exercises and overdo it a bit. Rose gets on my ass, but I’m stronger than I look. Just because my body gets weak every now and then doesn’t mean I’m down for the count. It’s like I always say, “Life is like riding a bike—take it by the handlebars and own that shit.” And boy do I own my shit like it ain’t nobody’s business.

I’ve been walking on my own and not getting as winded the past few days, so I think it’s time for me to focus on the next thing on my ‘to do list.’ And that’s riding.

“Blaze, meet me outside. Now,” I yell across the bar to where he’s sitting with Dani. I’ve probably interrupted something between them, but I don’t care. He can get his dick sucked later. I need his help.

Making my way out to the garage, I feel confident in what I’m about to do. I’m nervous, but not because I don’t think I can do it. It’s only because it’s been a long time since I’ve done this. But you never forget how to ride—

“Yo, Mack! What the hell was so important that you needed me out here right this second?” Blaze yells, a little irritated, but he’s trying to hide it. I am his president, so he doesn’t want to show any disrespect.

“Lose the fuckin’ tone and I’ll tell you,” I growl, though it doesn’t pack a punch like it usually would. I know Blaze isn’t challenging me, so I’m letting it go. Unless he keeps it up.

“Sorry, Prez,” he says sheepishly.

Turning back around, I continue what I had started before Blaze got here.

In the corner of the garage, there’s a solid mass underneath an old sheet. It’s something I haven’t even dared look at since I got shot. My bike.

“It’s time to jump back on the horse, brother,” I say quietly.

Turning around, I see him looking at me with a concerned look. “You sure, Prez? What does Rose think about this?” he asks. It angers me a little, but I know he’s not trying to make me feel like an invalid or like I need permission. He genuinely doesn’t know if I’m ready for this, but it’s not all in the physical when it comes to things like this. It’s just as much mental, and I know that between the two, I’m more than ready.

“I didn’t ask her, but it’s time. I just need you to be close in case I need your help. Can you do that?” It’s a huge thing for me to admit when I need help, but it’s one thing I’ve learned to do more freely since all this happened. It doesn’t make me any less of man or a horrible president to ask for assistance or admit defeat even if it’s only for a short while. It means I’m human.

Blaze gives me an encouraging smile and nods his head. “Yeah, of course, Prez. Whatever you need.”

For the next hour, Blaze helps me uncover my baby and we clean her up a bit, then check all her fluids. After that’s all done, I try to lift my left over her and take a seat. It feels good to be back on her again after all this time. I feel at home…like a day hasn’t gone by since I rode her, even though it’s been months.

We practice getting on and off a few times to make sure my legs get used to the motions again before I kick the stand up and hold her up. I struggle at first, but once my legs steady, I start her up.

The rumble underneath me excites me and makes me long for the open road. I can’t wait to take my baby out with my girl riding behind me. I wonder if Rose has ever been on a bike before. If not, I’ll make it good for her. She’ll never want to ride in a cage again.

On my first try to get the bike to take off, I almost fall off with her coming down with me, but Blaze jumped in just in time to catch both me and the bike.

“Thanks, brother,” I say, out of breath. I don’t remember this being so much work before getting shot. Either I’m that out of practice or it’s my body giving me hell. Probably a little of both.

“I think we should call it a day. Give your legs some rest. We can come back out tomorrow if you want,” Blaze suggests. I think he’ll fight me on it if I try to tell him I’m fine and want to continue, so I nod.

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

Covering the bike back up again, he helps me back into the clubhouse where Rose is sitting with all three of the girls talking. She, of course, sees me as I come in, and notices how unstable I am on my feet. Rushing over to me, she asks, “Are you okay?” The concern I hear in voice makes me happy because it means she cares, but I hate that she’s worried.

“I’m fine, baby. Just had a long day,” I say to ease her worries.