Painkiller (34 page)

Have no fear, gentle reader, Monica is still alive and kicking. Because there is another ‘Monica’ somewhere. Everywhere. There is probably a ‘Monica’ in your street. The odds make it likely.

There are hundreds and thousands of Monicas across the world, all types, all ages, all suffering from neuropathic pain, and most of them suffer in silence. What would be the point in suffering noisily? They’d just be irritating their family and friends.

The ‘Monica’ I came to know inspired this book. She had an accident and ended up in extreme pain. The facts of the accident aren’t important. It doesn’t really matter how and why it happened. She could have had a car accident, got struck down with cancer or found herself in a warzone – the point is she, like so many others, ended up in constant unremitting pain.

Somehow she carried on, because that seemed to be the best alternative. But not the only one. I’d be lying if she hadn’t spent some of those long nights with a big pile of pills and a bottle of whisky, contemplating another path, but she’s still here, with the help of family, friends and, yes, painkillers.

She was a willing guinea pig for the capsaicin treatment when it was in its experimental stages, and it did relieve some of the pain for a short time. I’m glad to say that, thanks to her and others like her, capsaicin has been rolled out on the NHS for more sufferers of chronic pain.

Her Angry Friend never completely goes away, but ‘Monica’ lives in hope.

This book is for her, and for those brave enough to decide to live with pain.

And for those brave enough to decide not to.

N. J. Fountain

February 2015

Thanks to…

Nicola Bryant, for saying in 2007 ‘let’s write a movie about a woman who has had an accident and who thinks someone tried to kill her’. Thanks to her for allowing this book to rise from those ashes, for her encouragement, her ideas and her proofreading, and Monica’s poem. This book would not be here without Nicola, and
Painkiller
is as much hers as mine.

Piers Blofeld, for his faith in my work, and putting me out there, and all at Sheil Land for their efforts.

John Lawton, for his friendship and help.

Katharine Vile and Simon Trewin, for leading me to Piers.

Andrew McGrouther, who advised on matters of policing. Any procedural howlers can be fully attributed to me and not him.

Catherine Burke for seeing the potential. Thalia Proctor, Jo Wickham, Emma Williams and Liz Hatherell, and all at Little Brown for being ‘Team Fountain’.

Tom Jamieson, for his support and creativity.