Paint Me True (18 page)

“That a good thought to fall asleep with?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.” I got up to leave. I still didn’t have the answers I wanted, but at least now I had a lead. I needed to find Louisa.

L
ouisa made it easy for me. She was standing at the end of the driveway when I arrived. I slowed my steps and watched her. She walked up the driveway and out of my line of sight.

I hurried over to peer through the trees so that I didn’t lose her. She marched up to the front door, and to my horror, pulled her keys out of her purse. I watched her try to fit the key in the lock. She turned it over and tried again. Then she selected another key and repeated the process.

Adrenalin shot through my veins. I wanted to run out and confront her, but I wasn’t that brave. Instead I waited until she gave up and headed off before I dashed for the front door, went in, threw the deadbolt, and then stood, panting.

Well, I hadn’t confronted her, but I still felt like I had the answers I needed. I thought of her large, hulking husband and cursed myself for ever eating her tuna casserole. I was lucky it hadn’t been poisoned. I went back to the computer with the half formed intention to call my dad, but found an email from Hattie in my inbox. It read:

Eliza,

You were so right about Mike. I finally told him I didn’t like my birthday present, and that he’d really let me down, and guess what? He gave me a pearl bracelet! Or, actually, he took me to the mall and asked me to pick out what I wanted. It is the most gorgeous bracelet and it goes with everything. He even took me out to dinner after! Thank you SO MUCH for your advice. I feel like I’m in a real relationship now.

Of course my brother had to ruin it. He’s going to get “married” to his boyfriend and my family says that if I don’t come, they’ll never speak to me again. It’s not like my brother would come to my wedding, so I don’t know what his problem is...

That ellipsis ending was her deciding not to launch into one of her rants about the liberal conspiracy that had robbed her of her family. I felt for her, though I was jealous too. She had a real boyfriend to comfort her through the pain, or was her brother someone she was so ashamed of that she wouldn’t tell Mike about him?

I sat for a moment, massaging my forehead. I didn’t know what to say to her. She probably felt like no one did, which was why she ranted on about the subject.

But I did know what it was like to lose family. Unlike her, I couldn’t reach mine again with a simple phone call. Maybe that was worse, having them just out of reach. I took out my sketchbook and began to doodle.

I drew a little family of mice, the littlest one stood apart with her back to the others. She had a bow in her hair, her hands clasped together primly, and a little halo of light around her. The rest of the family was huddled together, unsure of how to approach her. They whispered behind their paws and cast timid looks in her direction.

One skinny mouse looked down at his feet, which he scuffed against the ground. He was a very sad mouse who didn’t understand why his sister was so aloof. Why was she so happy without him when he missed her so much?

I spent extra time on their long, sad mousy faces, drooping whiskers and all. Then sat back, looked at it, and rolled my eyes. What a dumb sketch. Not exactly subtle. Forget subtext, this was the equivalent of writing in block letters, “DON’T HURT YOUR BROTHER’S FEELINGS. YOU MAKE HIM SAD.”

Still, I tucked it into the scanner, attached it to an email, and sent it to her. It was the best response I could think of.

T
he next morning I arrived at Nora’s bedside and found a note from Colin, that read:

Eliza-

Sorry I haven’t called. You interested in punting this Saturday?

-Colin

I tucked the paper in my purse. He’d be asleep now, if he’d worked all last night. My aunt looked so peaceful that I felt bad waking her. Still, we had a delicate conversation that I wanted to finish as fast as possible.

Her eyes fluttered open. “Hmm?”

“I am so sorry, but can we talk?”

“Mmm?”

“Your surgery, was it for something someone did to you? Someone beat you up?”

Her eyes widened.

Bullseye.

“Louisa’s husband?” I asked.

She just stared at me, eyes wide and chin trembling.

“I figured it out. Every scan and x-ray has revealed something extra. An old break, some former surgery, and you’ve always wanted to keep the scope of the scans as small as possible. You’re hiding old injuries, aren’t you? Ones you left the country to get treated?”

“Honey...”

“Okay, so I get it. Louisa’s angry because you have the family house and money and all that and she won’t inherit. Somehow she found out. She bribed your old attorney, maybe.” More pieces fell in place. “Ms. Grayson wouldn’t take you as a client because she got scared off.”

Still, my aunt said nothing.

“Are you afraid they’ll hurt you more if anyone finds out?”

She shook her head.

“What is it, then?”

Her chin really trembled now and her eyes flooded with tears.

I grasped both of her hands. “You can tell me. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone else.”

“You... you always tell me how strong you think I am. Other people have said the same thing.”

“Do you really believe I’d think less of you if I knew someone had bullied you?”

“Well...”

“Aunt Nora, there is no way any reasonable person would blame you. You’re the victim.”

“But I never told anyone. I never went to the police. I didn’t even want to admit to them this was going on.”

“Okay, look, we’ll take this one step at a time. First let’s get you the scans you need. No one can see your medical records but you, the doctors, and me.”

“Honey, I don’t want to see it. I don’t want you to see it. Even if you have some warning-”

“I want to get you treatment for your cancer, all right? That’s priority number one. I don’t care about anything else at the moment. Will you please let them do scans? I won’t even look at them if you don’t want.”

Her gaze moved down to her hands and she took another deep breath. In this moment she was so much younger than her forty-five years. I could see the twenty-something she’d been when she first came to the UK. “All right.”

“Okay. And I’ll paint you anything you want.”

She smiled at that. “Deal.”

“I’m going to go tell the nurse.”

M
y aunt was booked for more scans a couple of days later. Once she’d had them, it was a long wait to see Dr. Singh. We didn’t meet with him until after supper time. He looked tired and drawn as he ushered us into his office. A nurse pushed Nora in a wheelchair and then left once she was parked. I slipped into the chair next to her.

“I haven’t had a chance to look at these yet,” the oncologist said. “Give me a moment.” He brought them up on the screen and looked them over. He took off his glasses, cleaned them on a tissue, and put them back on.

“Well?” I said.

Nora looked down at her clasped hands.

“Right... is this a cracked femur I see?”

“Never mind that,” I said. “What do you see with respect to her cancer?”

He took off his glasses again, rubbed the side of his nose with the heel of his hand, and put them back on. “I see someone with an extremely high threshold of pain.”

I stifled the urge to raise my voice. “Okaaay-”

“The cancer has metastasized throughout the body, and more to the point, I’m seeing it in the bones. You’ve had symptoms for a very long time and ignored them.” He turned to my aunt. “Care to explain that?”

She just looked down at her hands.

“So this’ll take multiple surgeries?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t recommend surgery.”

“Chemo, then? Radia-”

“Hospice care,” said Dr. Singh. “At this point, trying to kill the cancer would require killing the patient ten times over. Why didn’t you say anything before? And why aren’t all of these fractures in your medical history? That one can’t be more than ten years old.”

“Never mind that,” I said.

“Never mind? Do you know how much force-”

I looked him straight in the eye. “I am aware. That is a personal matter that yes, I am aware of. We’re here for your oncology expertise, not your personal judgments.”

He gave me an uneasy look. “I’m sorry,” he said. “All I can do is prescribe painkillers and give you a list of facilities to look after her.”

“How long?” I asked.

“One month? At most. In truth, I’m rather surprised you are still here.” He looked over his frames at my aunt.

I put my hand on hers.

“I can send the scans on for a second opinion?” said Dr. Singh.

I nodded. “Please.”

“Right, let’s at least get you comfortable for the night. The pharmacy will be closed, but on site we’ve got some painkillers. He clicked away on the computer. “If you’ll see your aunt back to her room, I’ll send someone over shortly.”

I got up, pulled the door open, and leaned out. Colin stood at the nurses’ station. At the sight of me he began to smile, but when he saw my expression, he stopped himself. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi, can you help wheel my aunt?”

“Of course.” He slathered sanitizer on his hands and came to wheel her out. “You okay?” the question was directed at me.

“How late are visitors allowed?”

“It’s past visiting hours, but if you really need to stay-”

“Honey, it’s all right,” said Nora. “Go on home.”

“It’s not all right. Listen, this is totally and completely selfish of me, but can I ask for one thing?”

“What’s that?” She looked back over her shoulder at me.

“Can I find some priesthood holders to give you a blessing?”

Her eye popped wider with surprise, but only surprise. No horror or anger. “If you like,” was all she said.

I turned to Colin. We’d arrived at Nora’s room, so I waited for him to get her settled on her bed. “So, what’s this?” he asked me.

“I’d like to bring two men here to give her a blessing. It’s a Mormon thing.” As I’d told Nora, faith hardly ever saved us from earthly pain, but maybe, just maybe, God would cut me a break. After everything I’d endured, maybe this once He’d intervene.

“All right.”

“Thank you.” I dug the ward list and my cellphone out of my purse. Since I didn’t know names, I just started at the top.

The Abbotts were a single mother with small children. No ordained priests.

The Ansells didn’t answer their phone.

The Babcocks did. “Hello?” said a voice deep enough to be an ordained priest.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m, um...”

“Is this Eliza? The American visiting the ward?”

“Yes, yes, that’s me.”

“What do you need?”

“I need someone to give a blessing to my aunt.”

“Your aunt?”

“She’s not in the ward. I mean... she’s not active, but-”

“Doesn’t matter one bit. Of course I can give her a blessing.”

“Okay, I’ll try to get another-”

“Oh, I can do that. I’ll get a companion. Where do we need to go?”

I gave him the address.

“Shouldn’t take us more than fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“It’s an honor.” He sounded like he meant that.

I pressed my palms together in gratitude. At least something had been easy today.

“So,” Colin broke into my reverie, “Saturday not good to go out, because-”

“Oh no,” said my aunt. “Saturday is perfect. Take her out for the whole day.”

“Um, right.” I laughed. “Guess that’s a yes for punting on Saturday.”

“Punting? How lovely,” said Nora

“Do you want to come?” Colin asked her.

“Not on your life.” She winked at me.

My face was so hot I feared it would burst into flames.

Colin smiled at me as he strode out the door.

Nora wore an expression of pure smugness.

I shook my finger at her. This little back and forth was much preferable to the difficult conversation we’d eventually have to have. I needed to find her children, and who knew what kind of can of worms that would open? Since I didn’t know how to bring up that topic, I just sat in silence while my aunt lay with her eyes closed, though there was a tension in her expression that belied the pain she felt.

“Right,” came a male voice from the doorway ten minutes later. It was same voice I’d spoken to on the phone. “Here we are.”

I spun around and almost screamed. Stupid, stupid me hadn’t checked addresses on the ward list. I’d called Louisa’s husband!