Painted Faces (19 page)

Nicholas brings his attention back to me. “Oh look at these Fred, how delightful.” He picks up a cupcake and takes a delicate bite. I sit beside him and place a hand on his shoulder.

“
Are you okay Viv? You seem a little out of sorts.”

He glances at me and licks some icing from the corner of his mouth. “I'm just going through one of my low periods. I'm either happy or I'm sad Fred, there's no middle ground with me. The life of a travelling performer can be a lonely one, sometimes it gets you down.”

His words send a dart right through me. I feel bad at having thought Nicholas was always the spirited flirt he often comes across as. I remember him telling me he was lonely when we first met, now I know he wasn't just faking it in the hopes of a sympathy shag.

“
Do you have, like, manic depression or something?” I blurt out rudely, not having fully thought the question through.

Nicholas smiles softly. “Something like that. But thank you for bringing the cupcakes, they've cheered me right up.”

I hate that he doesn't specify. Though to be honest, I think we all have a little tendency towards depression. It's a modern thing. Most lives move too fast for human beings to be properly happy these days.

“
Hey, it's my pleasure. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm just next door.” I nudge him with my elbow good naturedly. “What's the point of having a best friend if she can't cheer you up when you're down?”

Nicholas releases the full force of his smile on me and it almost takes my breath away. He pulls my hand into his and gives it a squeeze. “Thank you, darling.”

I drag my eyes away from him, because his beauty is quite overpowering, even when he's a dishevelled mess like he is right now. His bedroom door is ajar, and I can hear low music streaming through. “Are those the dulcet tones of Leonard Cohen I hear? You are a true cliché of sadness Viv,” I joke and he laughs.

He's still holding my hand. He rubs his thumb over my palm. “You're a ray of sunshine, Freda. Thank you so much for taking the time to come and see me.”

I get caught up in his stare again, and this time I can't seem to look away. Something clenches deep in my heart at the way he's staring at me, like I'm some kind of saintly apparition. “It's nothing, I like being around you Nicholas,” I breathe, my totally honest statement surprising me.

He has a sharp intake of breath and his blue eyes dance. “I really like it when you say my name, you know.”

My stark honesty continues when I hurry on, “I'm sorry if I can be a bit abrupt sometimes, or if the things I say hurt your feelings. It's just my way. I can't seem to help it.” For some reason I feel the need to get this out, perhaps because today has shown me that Nicholas is not this indestructible, confident person like I thought he was.

“
I like your way, don't ever change,” he pauses and licks his lips, his eyes drifting to my cleavage. Because I'm wearing the outfit Nora says looks good on me, the “girls” are out a little more than usual. Nicholas' smile turns into a cheeky grin. “Remember when you said I could cop a feel the other day? I think I'd like to take you up on the offer now. It will lift my spirits.”

I feign indignation. “You sir, are an opportunistic scoundrel.”

He reaches forward and I shift back. “Relax Fred, you'll like this, I promise.”

I force myself to remain still for him. After all, I did tell him that he could give them a squeeze to get it out of his system. Just another example of my big mouth getting me into a sticky situation.

His thumb brushes over the bare skin of my collarbone, before his hand traces down to the curve of my breast. My breaths come short and fast. Nicholas notices instantly, and his lips tilt up at one end in a smirk. Finally, he cups me fully in his hand, his eyes studying my body before returning to my face. He squeezes firmly, while his other hand wanders up to do the same to the other one. His eyelids flutter.

“
I love this outfit on you Fred; your body is a feast for the senses,” he breathes.

His hands slide down my breasts to rest on my hips. He pushes me back so that I'm lying beneath him. I've been rendered immobile. Every touch sears through me, making me want more, making me addicted. He slowly reaches for the hem of my skirt and hitches it up, before pulling my legs apart and wrapping them around his waist. I gasp when he grinds his obvious erection into me. There's far too much fabric between us and I'm entirely too turned on.

His lips claim my neck, as he pushes my hair to the side. I can feel his kisses at the base of my spine. Each one tingles right through me. I let my hands drift up and sink into his soft black hair, then I trail them down over his hard, muscular shoulders. Nicholas' hand feels its way up the inside of my thigh, before cupping me right on the vagina. I gasp. Pant. Lose my fucking mind.

“
Are you wet for me Fred?” he asks, his voice sounds like a dark prison that I desperately want to get inside. This has gone way past copping a feel, but I can't seem to bring myself to put a stop to it.

“
Mm hmm,” I mumble, unable to give a proper response.

“
God, you're so fucking lovely,” he curses, as he slips one finger beneath fabric of my underwear, finds my clit and begins making these wonderful circular motions.

His touch makes my body simultaneously melt and awaken. My senses go into overdrive. When you're attracted to someone the way that I'm attracted to Nicholas, even the slightest whisper of his fingers against yours makes your body wake up and take notice. Needless to say, him having his hand inside my knickers makes me feel like I'm going to explode.

“
You smell great, you feel bloody fantastic,” he's almost panting now, burying his face in my hair for a second, before kissing and sucking on my neck.

Sensation flits through me, radiating out from my centre and encapsulating every nerve ending in my body. I haven't been touched like this in what seems like forever. Come to think of it, no man has touched me in quite this way before, with such practised confidence as if he knows exactly how to bring me to the brink of ecstasy.

Then he removes his mouth from my neck and captures my lips in a slow, wet, languid kiss. I let out a long moan that goes right from my mouth into his. He kisses me harder then, sliding his tongue in and out, hard and soft at the same time.

He continues driving me insane with his fingers, increasing his speed to almost make me come but then slowing back down again. Teasing me. He gives me one last soft kiss before pulling back to look at me.

“
I want to watch you when you come,” he says, his mouth hanging open as his eyes rake over me. “Christ Fred, your lips are like little pillows of heaven, and your mouth, God, your fucking mouth.”

I blush and turn my gaze away from him, too embarrassed to maintain eye contact. He takes his other hand and pulls on my chin, making me face him again. His smile is intolerable. “Are you shy? Fuck, that just makes me ten times harder for you.”

His hand moves against me faster and I can tell I'm close to the edge now. He holds my eyes as he bends down, places a kiss to my fully clothed breast before biting down hard on my nipple through the fabric. At that my body explodes with perhaps the most intense orgasm I've ever had. I shake against him several times with the release, my eyes wide and looking straight into his.

I have never felt this much sensation with a man before. Most of my sexual encounters have been messy, drunken fumbles. But this was something else, something wonderful. And now I hate myself for having given in, because looking into his eyes as I came did something to me. It made my heart reach out and latch onto his, even if his heart might not want to latch onto mine.

My entire body is happy and limp with the pleasure I've just experienced. Nicholas pulls me back so that I'm lying on top of him, my curves sinking into his hard lines.

His hands travel up and down my arms, leaving a trail of shivering fingerprints all along my skin. I rest my head in the crook of his neck and sigh into him. I'm not going to think about how what just happened is going to seriously change our tentative friendship. I try to think of nothing but how this feels.

“
You're so pretty when you come, all wide eyed and surprised,” Nicholas laughs tenderly. “I didn't think you'd make me feel so clean Fred.”

“
What do you mean?” I ask, my face still pressed to his skin.

“
Every woman is different,” he explains. “Some of them make you feel satisfied, others make you feel high, most just make you feel used or dirty, but you Fred, you make me feel cleansed. There's no guile or ulterior motives with you. You're just in the moment for whatever it might bring.”

I make him feel cleansed. That's just too romantic, I don't think my heart can take it. “That sounds kind of sad. Don't any of them ever make you feel love?”

“
Some have come close,” he answers, but then he goes quiet.

He seems to be lost for a moment, so I try to bring him back to me. “Well, all I know is that was one of the best orgasms I've ever had. I've been plagued with men who didn't know what they were doing.”

Nicholas smiles and presses his face into my hair. “I'm flattered. Although since you said yourself that you haven't had a boyfriend in three and a half years, I must not have been up against very stiff competition.”

“
How do you know I don't have one night stands to keep me tided over?” I fake a sulky tone.

“
You don't, you're not that kind of girl. I can tell. Perhaps that's why you make me feel so clean.”

I don't reply. To be honest I feel sort of sorry for him if he feels that way after sleeping with women, dirty and used. Why would he keep doing it if that's what he gets in return? Is the pleasure of the moment really worth it?

I stay quiet and enjoy the feeling of being so close to him, with almost every part of our bodies touching. He keeps running his fingers through my hair. It feels nice, peaceful. I could almost fall asleep.

“
I really like you Fred,” he whispers, jolting me from the nap I was just about to fall into.

I hesitate before replying, “I really like you too Nicholas. But - do you think this might have been a bad idea?”

I hate to bring reality crashing down on both of us, especially after such a tender interlude, but I'm so scared that we've ruined things now. Never again will I be able to look at him and not think about how he touched me.

“
No. I think we both know where we stand with one another.” His voice is gentle.

He sits up then and I slide off him, fixing my skirt back down. What does he mean by that? I'm too frightened to ask.

My cheeks heat up, because now that what just happened is over I feel awkward with him. The line between friends and lovers is completely blurred and I'm not exactly sure which side I fall on. I scramble for something to take my mind off it, and then my eyes latch on the glittery purple high heels he'd worn last Saturday night sitting in the corner of the room.

“
Hey, remember you said you'd teach me how to walk in heels?” I say with a forced smile, nodding towards his purple shoes.

“
Yes?” he asks.

“
Care to show me now?”

Nicholas gives me a humorous grimace. “That might be difficult, since I've got a severe case of blue balls at the moment.”

Our eyes lock, and I don't know whether he's saying this because he wants me to get him off the way he got me off, or if he's just being flirtatious. In a last ditch attempt at self-preservation, I joke, “Well walk it off, Viv. A girl needs to know how to wear heels if she wants to make it in the cut throat world of fashion. I plan on developing an eating disorder and entering Britain's Next Top Model next year. This lesson will be the first step to achieving my dream.”

He frowns slightly before understanding dawns on him. I'm embarrassed and he knows it. That makes me even more embarrassed. It's a cruel cycle.

Nicholas accepts my challenge when he clasps his palms together. “Right well, we'll have to start you off on a pair of low ones,” he walks into his bedroom and comes back out with a pair of plain black two inch heels.

“
No way, I want the sexy flashy ones you wear on stage,” I say dramatically.

“
You're already sexy enough Fred,” Nicholas remarks hotly, before bending down on one knee and removing both of my flip flops. Even him touching my foot makes me go all melty, but I try to ignore it. He gives me an evil smile as he slips on the black shoes, like he knows exactly what his touch is doing to me. He slowly runs his hand over my calf, before rising to his feet and tugging me up with him.

He goes over and grabs the purple ones, putting them on his own feet. He's tall enough as it is, but he's even taller with the shoes on, like one of those mythological Amazonian women who chopped off one of their breasts so they wouldn't get in the way when they were shooting a bow and arrow - or something like that. It's actually quite practical when you think about it. Practical but painful. I hope you enjoyed that tangent. There are more to come. I'll keep you posted.