Painted Memories (10 page)

“I don't think I'm ready to move this fast.”

Tyler arched his brow, “Yet you had no problem flirting with me all night?”

“Well, if I knew flirting was going to turn into all of this, maybe I wouldn't have.” I mean, you only flirted to keep them interested. What was wrong with that?

“You're seeing someone else, aren’t you? That guy I saw today when I came to pick you up. What was his name...? Dew?”

“Drew. His name is Drew, and
no
, I'm not dating him. Last I checked, I'm not seeing
anyone
seriously.” I glared at him. How could he assume I was dating someone else and why did it even matter? We’d only been out twice. As far as I was concerned, he could be seeing other women too. I didn't ask him out to have a boyfriend. I asked him out to have fun, live a little, but that didn't mean I was looking for a one-night stand either.

“Oh,” he said, looking deflated.

I moved back, putting more space between us. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on. It wasn’t my intention, and I wasn't expecting to get carried away like that.” I reached for his hand and hoped he gained a bit of confidence for what I was about to say. “I've really enjoyed spending time with you. I'm not looking for anyone else to date, but I'm also not going to settle either. If what's going on here turns into more, I'm fine with that. But I'm not rushing into anything. And I'm most certainly not into one-night stands, so if that’s what you're expecting out of this... out of me, I'm not your girl.”

“No...
not at all. I mean, I won't lie and say I haven't had my share of one-nighters, but that's not what I'm after here. I'm sorry I came on so strong.” He stroked the top of my hand with his thumb. “It doesn't take much for me to get caught up in the moment, and you make it easy.” He smirked and leaned in, holding my chin between his fingers. His kisses were small. Tiny, soft kisses against my lips, as if testing the waters again. They were everything they should have been when we started kissing. But it was too late. I wasn't in the mood to be romanced anymore. I pulled back, giving him a small smile. “It's getting late and I need to get up early tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay.” Tyler stood up, my hand still in his and I followed him to the door.

“Thank you again for dinner and bowling.”

“I really hope I haven't ruined things. I'd still like to go out again, if you're willing to give it another shot?” he said in a defeated voice.

“I'll be busy this week with my students. Testing is coming up, so I'll have a lot of work to do to prepare them. What about Saturday night?”

“Perfect. I'm taking you someplace fancy, so dress to impress.”

“Sounds nice. Pick me up at six?”

“Six it is. Good night, Lilly.”

I rose higher and kissed him gently on the lips. “Good night, Tyler.” Maybe our third date would be smoother. Third time’s a charm… maybe.

I sat at a table in the back, going over my lesson plan for the week, as I waited for Andrea to meet me for another fattening cappuccino at Starbucks. I had no intention of going to the gym and didn't want to risk the chance of running into Tyler. Right now, I really wanted some time to myself without men around, at least the men in my life who kept trying to kiss me.

The place smelled of coffee and baked sweets, making me thankful I decided to eat lunch before I came. The need to get out of my apartment and be around someone who lacked testosterone became immediate once I finally dragged my sleep-deprived butt out of my fluffy sheets. My thoughts were overpowering after spending all day yesterday with Drew and Tyler. I felt stressed out, and for once, my family wasn’t the source of it. No matter how hard I tried not to think about the guys, I did anyway. All night, I tossed and turned, playing back the time I spent with them. I started to wonder what the potential of Tyler's kisses could be if he learned to tame his raw urges. At the same time, my thoughts included Drew, and the simple, yet sweet kiss we shared. Both men shocked me with their sudden boldness. What the crap was I doing? Finding myself
interested in two different men, total opposites, wasn't like me. I never intended for this to happen and I didn't want to feel like I was playing both of them behind their backs... that wasn't me. I needed to talk this through, and since Andrea was the only girlfriend I had, she was obliged to give me advice.

When she walked through the door, I couldn't help laughing. Here she was, carrying a professional briefcase, wearing a baggy, grey tee shirt and even baggier sweat pants.
Professionalism dripping from one hand, while copping an “I don't give a shit” attitude in the other. I loved it. She greeted me with a smile and plopped the briefcase on the table in front of me before she sat down.

“There's a whole stack of geometry proofs in there. Don't you want to help me grade them?”

I held my hands up, referencing the papers underneath them. “High school geometry... uh no, thank you! I'll stick to my two-plus-two worksheets.”

“I only brought them because you said to, but something makes me think this isn't coffee and 'let's grade papers' bonding time.”

Andrea narrowed her eyes at me and I knew she caught on to my mood when I called her this morning. “How did you know I—”

“Spill it. What happened? He didn't hurt you, did he? Take advantage of you? I'll drop a twenty-pound weight on his head if he—”

“No! Chill out. He didn't do anything like that. I mean, he was a little aggressive on the kissing, but I knocked him down a peg or two for it.”

Andrea moved her briefcase to the floor before propping her elbows on the table. “Oh, you two kissed. How was it? I can only imagine it was hot, because naturally, he's hot so it had to have been hot.”

“Whoa... too many 'hots' in one sentence,” I laughed. “Anyway, it's kind of hard to tell, considering he was trying to force his tongue down my throat.”

“Hmmm... so he's hot and demanding. I think I could get used to that,” she snickered.

I rolled my eyes. She was being sarcastic and I knew she wouldn't like it either. “And then there's Drew and I didn't even know he liked—”

“Hold up... who is Drew? I've never heard you talk about him. At least, I don't think I have.”

I smirked at her, clucking my tongue at her forgetfulness. “Yes, you have. Do you listen to anything I say when we're at the gym? Oh wait, I should have known. You don't know how to concentrate with hot guys are around, do you?”

“Maybe you’re right... I'm kidding. Yes, I do! Tell me about him again. I'm sure it will come back to me.”

So I filled her in... again. I told her about the pond and his mail. About his beautiful paintings and that he was the newest art teacher at work. I filled her in about studio-hunting yesterday, and the moment he kissed me, possibly dooming our newfound friendship forever. She listened intently, giving oohs and ahhs in all the right places.

“Well, he sounds great too. So you have two good-looking guys who are into you, what's the problem? What are you so stressed out about?”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. I couldn't believe she didn't see anything wrong with what I told her. “What do you mean? I've got two guys, two completely different guys... kissing me! I don't know what to do. What should I do?” I could feel the anxiety building up again. I had honestly never been in this situation before. I'd always found a guy, stuck with him and didn't look at anyone else until things didn't work out. I moved on after getting dumped or doing the dumping.

She laughed, “I still don't see the big deal. So what? They both kissed you. Did you like it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to kiss them again?
Truthfully?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like one over the other?”

I thought about that for a minute. I'd spent more time with Drew, but I couldn't say I liked either one more. Not yet. “I don't know.”

“That's fair enough. I still don't see a problem here. You said they both know you aren't searching for someone. You're not lying to them about being exclusive with anyone. So why can't you date them both and see what happens? You're not married yet; it's not a crime.”

“It feels wrong, I guess.” I stared into my paper coffee cup, thinking about right and wrong and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. I didn't like getting mine hurt and always vowed not to hurt others. Andrea patted my hand across the table with a look of reassurance and understanding.

“Remember when you told me once that you wanted to live life and have fun without anyone holding you back?”

“Yeah.”

“Don't let this hold you back. Have fun, live life. There is nothing wrong with having fun with Drew or Tyler, or even both of them... on different occasions, of course. If not, we're going to have to switch to a whole different subject matter.” She snickered and I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face. “What I'm trying to say is, if at the end of the day you find you would have rather spent time
alone
than with the guy you were with... then maybe that guy isn't the guy for you.  And that's okay. You don't have to figure everything out, one guy at a time. If you're upfront with your intentions, which it sounds like you have been, you have nothing to feel guilty over.”

I let her words sink in for a minute. She was right. It made sense after she said everything out loud. I'd never been interested in two guys at once, and even if I didn't feel right about it, I would have to get used to it until I knew whom I liked more. I was relieved that
I'd already indicated to both of them where I stood with the whole dating scene.

“Thank you. I'm glad you put things into perspective for me. What would I do without you?” I said.

“You'd screw up, pick the wrong guy, and let the good one get away,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Wow, some vote of confidence you have in me, I see.”

“Ha! I'm only kidding. But now you know what could happen. You’ve got to let this play out. Maybe they're both pricks. You'll never know if you just pick one,” she teased.

“Okay, okay.
Point taken. Can we talk about something else now? How's your love life?”

“Oh hell... it's non-existent. I've probably got cobwebs forming down there, that's how long it's been.”

I burst out laughing so hard, the store came to a standstill for a few seconds to stare at me. “That's it.... I'm finding you a man! At least, someone to clear out the dust!”

She giggled “No. What you
can
do is grade half of these proofs. Great advice doesn't come without a price. Get out that red pen; we've got papers to grade.”

And I did what she asked. She was right: she did give great advice, and she was turning into a good friend. Someone I could talk to and rely on. But what she didn't know yet was, after we finished grading her papers, she was helping me with mine.

When I pulled into the parking lot this morning, I caught Drew's eye, but looked away before he could approach me. Later, when I walked through the halls during a class change, I turned a corner and ran into him... literally. My heel slipped on a wet spot and Drew instinctively grabbed my waist to keep me upright.

“I'm sorry,” I said as I pulled myself together. The words nearly stuck in my throat when a smile spread over his lips. I couldn't
look away, remembering how soft they felt against mine. Then I thought about the note he taped to my door and the ChapStick and I pushed away from him. 

Drew dropped his hands from my waist. “Are you all right?”

“I'm fine. Thank you.” I walked around him and didn't look back. He made me nervous and flustered and I couldn't talk to him right then.

Later, I sat at my desk with my eyes glazed over as I attempted to grade the papers in front of me. Since I had free time while the kids went to music, then lunch, I tried, but I couldn't seem to reel my thoughts in long enough to concentrate. The conversation between Andrea and me the day before, and seeing Drew earlier that morning stayed in the forefront of my mind. Ever since seeing him, I couldn't get the events of Saturday out of my head, or what they might mean for the future, if anything at all. I doodled on a piece of paper while my mind wandered. There was something about him that was different than any other men I’ve dated. The way he spoke to me, soft and caring. I
doodled a small heart on my paper. Then there was the way he held my face in his hands...
heart...
the way his lips brushed mine...
heart...
how he teased my lip with the tip of his tongue...
heart.
What the crap was I thinking?

“Hey there,
whatcha doing?”

I nearly jumped out of my chair at the sound of his voice. Drew was standing in front of me and I quickly swept the papers into a pile. “Oh hey, just grading papers.”

He looked down, “Huh... you put hearts on their papers instead of smiley faces?”

“I like to mix things up.”
Lie, total lie. Thank God I wasn't doodling his name across the page like I did back in middle school. “Did you need something?” I asked casually.

“I was getting ready to head out to lunch and thought I'd see if you wanted to come. Maybe we could try that place you were raving about this weekend?”