Paloma: A Laurent & Dove Mystery (20 page)

Chapter Eighteen

He had her attention. There was so much he wanted to say, but words were trivial. She smelled vaguely of cocoa butter, the beach, cool waters. His lips met hers, so soft and full. Suddenly, a heated rush overtook him and his body hardened with an ache, stronger than he ever recalled. He conjoined himself to her, body to body. She was small but strong. Yes, he felt some resistance, but she didn’t say stop. Her mouth was as hungry as his. Demanding, merciless kisses tangled between them. Would he survive the onslaught? He felt both weak and potent, turned inside out, oblivious. He kissed her eyes, her neck, then whispered in her ear, “
Te quiero
.”

Suddenly, she stiffened. Her mouth separated from his body. “What did you say?” she demanded.

He leaned to the side but kept a tight hold. He got lost in her mahogany eyes. “Is my Spanish that bad?”

She fidgeted, loosening his grip. “How can you say you’re sorry one minute, then tell me you love me?”

“But –”

With a forceful thrust, she pushed him away. “You said you were sorry. But you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Leading me on.”

“Leading you on? You weren’t exactly stopping me.”

“Well, I’m stopping you now.” She reached for her bag and stood.

“What the hell you doing?”

“See ya.”

“You can’t go.”

“Really?” She headed for the vestibule.

He barreled past her and blocked the front entry. “I said I was sorry. I thought you said it was okay.”

The blush on her cheeks was gone. A pallor had taken its place. “I shouldn’t have let you kiss me,” she said. “It was wrong.”

“Wrong?” He put his arms around her, but felt no warmth. She stood razor straight. “Please, talk to me,” he said.

“I understand that you’re sorry for the one night we spent together –”

“What? But –”

“Let me finish. I don’t hold it against you. But then to say that you love me.
Es un engaño
, a trap. Don’t manipulate me ‘
te quieros’
.”

“You think I regret that night? Hell no. I’m apologizing for letting you go, taking you to the airport.” 

She covered her ears. “Don’t say another word. I’ve got to go.”

“I’ve made too many mistakes in the past, but not today.” He tucked her beneath his arm. “You’re not going anywhere. Not yet, not until I get to say everything that’s on my mind.”

By the time he sat her down on the couch, she was shaking and wouldn’t look at him. Maybe this was it. Maybe their chance for happiness ended a very long time ago. He’d been such a fool, putting all his hopes and dreams into what-could-have-been. Still, he needed to make sure that she didn’t love him, never could, never would. If he had to start fresh, fine. He just didn’t want any lingering doubts.

“I’ll call you a cab. I promise. But first I need to be honest for the first time in my life.”        

She continued to shiver. 

“You’re not afraid of me are you?”

She didn’t respond. 

“Do you want a blanket?”

Her teeth chattered. “No. Let’s just get this over.”

He reached around her shoulders.

“Don’t touch me.”

He backed off. “Okay, okay.”

Where should he start? How much was she prepared to listen to? He took a deep breath.      

“There was a day in my life that I remember crystal clear. It was at work. I had an interior office, no windows. I was the new guy itching to get my hands dirty. The day before I’d gotten the biggest lead from a phone call. I didn’t tell anyone. I wanted to handle everything myself. I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was jazzed, I was on the edge of something explosive. Anyway, that morning I remember looking at my watch, waiting for 10:30 to roll around. Between sips of coffee I reread the autopsy report and took notes. I wanted to ask all the right questions. I checked to make sure the tape player worked, I ground down pencils, I realigned my pad. At 10:36 the secretary buzzed me. I thought I was ready. I definitely was pumped, but when I opened the door, all my expectations, plans were swept away.”

She stared at the floor.

“That’s when you walked into my life.”

She glanced up.

“You wore a long skirt of bright flowers and a black top. I remember your collarbone of all things. How it seemed so delicate and fragile beneath the skin. And those eyes, how could I ever forget those eyes. You were so unaware of your beauty. You sat across from me. Your words lilted. Concentrate, I had to keep reminding myself. Twenty minutes later you were gone, but I was in a worse state than when you’d come in. I was sweaty, couldn’t gather my thoughts. I convinced myself it was because of the case. But it wasn’t –” He stopped, wanting to ask if she remembered their first meeting. But that would give him false hope. “The three months that followed were a whirlwind. The trial, the crazy press, the time we spent together. I didn’t want it to end. But it did, I let it.”

Without emotion she said, “It ended because there was a verdict.”

Max’s heart raced. “Yes, that’s what I thought for years. Things happen, times change, you move on. But remember when I had that interview with
Time
? Man, I was hot, on fire. I was going places. But beneath all the hype, I understood I wasn’t the one. It was you. And something inside me couldn’t handle that.”

“What are you saying? That I wasn’t in danger? That I didn’t need to go into the Witness Protection Program?”

Max leaned forward. “Certainly you were being threatened. The police were playing hardball. Those life threats were real. Still, we could’ve managed.”

“How?”

“There are always choices. I could have easily transferred to Chicago or any other place in the country. Anyway, after you left, I realized I had thrown out the baby with the bath water. And that was just my first mistake.”

“First? There were others?”

“Oh, yeah. Heavy duty denial took over for a while. Threw myself into the job. I was always after the next big case, spent sixteen hours a day working. But something was missing. Then I blew it again.”

“When was that?”

“That last time I went to see you in Chicago. When I told you Tony was being paroled.”

“You mean he wasn’t?”

“He was. But warning you about it…Well, there are always alternatives, an infinite number of ways of getting from point A to point B.”

“I’m confused.”

He rubbed his face. “Hell, everyone from the parole board to the governor knew my concerns about both Catonis. Plenty of safeguards were in place. To be honest, the threat to you or your family was nowhere on the radar screen. Not that it couldn’t happen, but the probability was low.”

She stiffened. “So why did you tell me I was in danger?”

The four walls suddenly closed in. Max wanted to stop. The truth was about to cut his legs off.  

“Max, what are you saying?” she said with controlled anger. “That I left my family for nothing?”

He shook his head, then took the plunge. “I went to Chicago to reconnect, maybe start up again.”

She gasped.

He grabbed her frigid hand. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to be part of your life, any part at all. Maybe you were happy with Clay, maybe not. I did what I did, I just didn’t expect… Well, I didn’t think you’d run off.”

She glared at him. “Run off? You make it sound so blasé. Nancy Abbott drowned. What choice did she have? You said she was in danger and her family could be too.”

“But I had said I’d be there for you.”

“How was that going to be possible? You lived miles away.” 

“I’m sorry, so sorry.”

“Screw your apologies.” She yanked her hand away and stood. “One last question before I leave. When did you realize I hadn’t drowned?”

“When no body was found, I staked out the cemetery.”

“The cemetery?”

“Forest Lawn. Where your parents are buried.”

Her eyes cut into him. “I see. So you’ve known for some time.”

He nodded.

“So many secrets, Max. When do they end?”

“They end now, right here. Let’s start fresh. We’ll start slow.”

“I can’t.”

“Are you forgetting one thing? Someone’s after you now. You’re in danger, I want to help. It’s the least I can do. Once things are settled we can go our separate ways. But now we have to pool our resources and figure out what the hell is going on.”

“I can take care of myself.”

He shook his head. “And can you take care of Maddie?”

“Don’t even go there!”

“Do you really want to take that chance? Especially now. Years ago you could have been in danger, it was a possibility, but now it’s a certainty.”

She stood and pulled her bag onto her shoulder. “I’m leaving.”

“Why are you being so unreasonable? Why are you willing to risk your life and maybe the life of your daughter?”

“Maddie’s safe, no thanks to you.” She then stomped into the hall and disappeared into the vestibule.

He was spent, played out. So much for honesty. Let her go. He didn’t need her. He walked to the open French doors. When she reached the sidewalk he yelled, “Fine. As long as your daughter’s safe to hell with everyone else. Tell that to your best friend’s mother.”

She stopped cold and turned. Their eyes met. Her icy gaze left no doubt – she hated him. She then spun around and walked away.

Max slammed the French doors. Screw her.

Back in the kitchen, desperate to throw something, he filled the sink and tossed in three days of dishes. When someone didn’t care about herself, why would she care about anyone else? Agnes had changed. Maybe life had been more than she could handle. He had seen that often enough. Bright-eyed city kids didn’t turn bad from the inside. It was from the outside. Psychological mine fields and day to day survival warped their perspective until all hope for a better life whittled down to nothing. After that it was just a free-fall. Why should she be any different? 

The water scalded his hands. 

He felt nothing.

Chapter Nineteen

The senselessness of the past fifteen years fueled Paloma’s rage. Her family had been ripped from her life due to a twisted dream. She’d never forgive him. Still, as she walked down the street, she couldn’t deny her responsibility. At every juncture, she had made choices, always wrong. No one’s life came with directions, but how did hers get so screwed up?  

Not far away, a squirrel hung on the side of a tree. His tail jerked. A moment later, he descended, crossed her path and shot into the street. Just as quickly a car rumbled past. Suddenly squealing brakes and skidding tires on blacktop turned her stomach. Fearing the worse, she clamped her eyes shut. Once silent, Paloma looked for signs of life. Magically, the small animal peeked out from below the stopped car and scurried to safety. 

Relieved, Paloma took a deep breath. Life was fragile. Still it continued for herself, for her daughter. Daisy’s mother, however, wasn’t so fortunate. 

Reluctant, but fairly certain she was making another bad decision, she returned to Max’s house. 

He was in the kitchen doing dishes. 

“So what do you want me to do?” she said to his back.

He turned. “Grab a towel and start drying.”

***

After cleaning the kitchen, Max got a call from his cousin, Reggie, who wanted to stop by. It was then decided Paloma would stay upstairs where she was given clean linen and the choice of two bedrooms, a bright middle room with a bay window or a much smaller rear room with a single window. 

She now drew the drapery aside of the back room window. Dappled sunlight filtered through the limbs of a maple tree and fell onto a bricked patio flanked by budding rose bushes. She turned the window lock and raised the heavy wooden sash. A gentle breeze blew into the room. Even though the wire mesh screen shaded her view, she was reminded how green Buffalo was. She wanted the scene to replace the day that had become one of the longest in recent memory, a day not unlike a Dali painting of stark landscapes, and melting, stopped clocks.

Turning back, she gave the room a once-over. Yellowed wallpaper in a vaguely familiar design of vines covered the walls. Over the window, near the ceiling was the residue of some kind of leak, irregularly shaped and tea-colored. Next to the single bed was a small dressing table with a mirror. 

She peeked into the closet. Except for a couple of wire hangers and some stacked boxes, it was empty. Clearly, the room had been overlooked, possibly forgotten. It suited her well.

She pulled the thin bedspread off the single mattress, unfolded the sheets and made the bed. How long she’d be staying hadn’t been decided, but she was determined it would only be one night. While cleaning the kitchen, he had talked to her about the ABCs of behavior, how certain events occurred in relation to others. She then agreed to tell him what she knew, as sparse as that was. But before she began he insisted that she rest, if only for a short nap. She considering arguing, but didn’t have the energy.

Fully clothed, Paloma now slipped between the sheets and closed her eyes. In the twilight of sleep, she thought of deep cool waters and diving into weightlessness. Before succumbing to blissful slumber, she thought of one other thing – his kiss.

***

“Paloma, are you awake?”

Startled, her body jerked and her eyes sprang open. 

“It’s only me. I thought you might like something to eat.”

No light came through the small window. “What time is it?” she asked.

“Around ten. I ordered some Chinese food.”

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Had she slept seven hours? “Did your cousin come?”

“Yes. He just dropped something off. Didn’t stay long.”

A shaft of light coming from the hall backlit him. He now wore shorts and a T-shirt. “Is there a light switch?”

He reached into the room and flicked something near the doorjamb. A ceiling fixture encased in frosted glass came on, casting a dull light onto his bare arms and legs, reminding her of their brief encounter earlier in the day. Stimulus, response nothing more. 

“I’ll be down in a minute,” she told him.

He nodded and quietly closed the door.