Panorama (32 page)

Herr Koppelter says this is a gross oversimplification, for the master in no way thinks of himself as being above the geniuses of earlier times, but the world runs according to a certain plan in which the master plays his role, he not wanting to found a new religion but rather a spiritual science that doesn’t have to be believed but simply learned, thus allowing everyone to test its particulars and verify them, but not through the usual methods, one needs to follow the master’s method, which can be assessed only within the confines of his own teaching, since whoever approaches from the outside cannot help but fall into error. Josef has his doubts and explains that he must believe in himself above all others, he cannot accept any teachings that say how one should live without knowing whether they are true or false. Then Herr Koppelter asks whether Josef believes he is infallible, or whether it wouldn’t be more reasonable and productive to first adopt through intensive study teachings familiar to the best minds of our times, such teachings
being what enabled them to find and follow the right path, all their previous efforts amounting to nothing more than groping in the dark. Indeed, there are great men who are devotees of the master, among them a famous poet and another poet who devotes most of his time to the society, such that he is hardly able to bring out his own marvelous work, only because he finds the master’s society to be decidedly more important, this example speaking volumes, as do so many others. Josef remains dismissive, though he cannot prevent Herr Koppelter from continuing to make his case at length, even though Josef has already declared himself so unsympathetic to the master that Herr Koppelter responds, “Perhaps on the surface you are so against the master because on the inside his teachings have so much to say to you. But you will only feel this power while young. Later you will stand empty-handed, feeling lost.” Josef remained unconvinced by this view, for though the master’s teachings attracted him a great deal, they also repelled him even more, he finding them bogus, the society an embarrassment, Josef soon turning away from Herr Koppelter.

In general, Josef had certainly turned away from most things and stuck to his own, mistrust the only means of self-protection once you were no longer young, for then you are lured and enticed by all sides, no matter where you go, as here and only here is where you find the truth, there being no need to be a Doctor Faust who first pledged his soul to the spirits, they are quite willing to offer themselves cheap, such that one can hardly resist them, but should you grant them the slightest sympathy, then you are already lost, since they debase anything that comes into contact with them, there being within such enticements a pact between the wooer and the wooed, which is the root of hatred, conflict, intolerance, and envy, and this is why Josef will have none of it, but instead chooses to keep to himself. Thomas protests that this is not what Johannes means to him, for he is so chaste and simple, his soft smile enchanting, his tenderness spreading to all, such that you can’t help but find him a good spiritual guardian who listens to the experiences related to him by his friends, whom he doesn’t judge, not wanting that others confess to him but simply asking quietly the mildest of questions, and how he does so is wonderful and inimitable, much guidance existing in the questions themselves, for in formulating your answers you find yourself understanding more clearly what you have experienced but
often have not understood, to which Johannes adds wonderful comments, these often being small suggestions, after which you feel much better. Spiritual assistance is the most important thing to Johannes, but you have to seek him out on your own initiative, he doesn’t want to serve as any kind of master or authority, though he possesses a natural authority that hangs on every word spoken from his lips. Josef then asks whether these questions and answers are shared in the open, as he finds it shameless to talk about his experiences openly in front of others, for who can understand such things, and one should keep such matters to himself, not out of selfishness and shame but rather out of self-discipline and composure. Thomas assures him once again that especially with Johannes there is no need to hide anything, you only need to throw yourself into it and experience it for yourself, there being a palpable bliss that everyone senses in the tower room above, the effects of which Thomas says nothing more about, but which clearly have captivated Thomas and softened him almost entirely, such that Josef finally says he would like to meet Johannes, but only just him.

Thomas is roused by this and takes Josef at his word, telling him they will go together next week, Josef recommending that it be Saturday, though Thomas explains that you can visit Johannes Monday through Friday only, no one allowed in on Saturday or Sunday, the door is not even opened if someone rings, since Johannes wants to be alone and doesn’t go out. Thus on the following Monday the friends visit Johannes, who lives in the middle of the city, six flights up on the top floor, the place looking like a tower from the outside, it being unlike any normal apartment and more like a studio. Johannes is a photographer, having won many prizes years ago at various exhibitions, though that’s long past, his career no more now than a fading memory, while to the left and right as you enter the building there are display cases with a few photographs in them, little notices announcing the visiting hours, where the studio is located, and that there is an elevator. But hardly any customers come to the studio, it not mattering to Johannes, Thomas explaining that Johannes needs to make only a little bit of money, although he has no means, but he never complains, and it’s unclear just how he manages to make ends meet, especially given the household that he runs. The customers have long since disappeared, because of how long they had to wait in the waiting room, even then being told that Herr Tvrdil,
sorry to say, was tied up and could do no photography today, so would one be so kind as to come back another day? The customers would ask if they could set up an appointment by phone, but they received a friendly smile and were told that unfortunately there was no phone, at which people would head off angry and not come back again, it being the case that, even when the customers weren’t put off, it wasn’t Johannes who took their picture but instead the doors of the studio would open and his assistant, Frieda, who had just greeted the visitors and led them to the waiting room, called them in and took the photograph herself.

Josef and Thomas climb the stairs, neither having a coin in his pocket for the elevator, and so they walk up to the door, on which nothing stands except:

Thomas knocks three times quickly, this the signal that leads to the door being opened, otherwise even on weekdays, when customers might show up, the door is opened only after some minutes or perhaps not at all, though this time the three knocks don’t seem to do any good, as Josef asks whether Thomas needs to give the signal again, the latter reassuring him that someone will soon be there, for he certainly won’t knock again, and finally they hear footsteps, as before them stands a woman roughly thirty-five years of age, Frieda the assistant. Thomas has already explained to Josef that Frieda spends most of her time with Johannes, this having been so for many years, for Johannes is divorced and has a twelve-year-old daughter who lives with an aunt and visits Johannes only once a week, there being no deep relationship between father and daughter, Frau Tvrdil a remarkable person, exceptionally lovely, though the marriage was an unhappy one, Johannes always saying that no one should do as he did and fall in love with and marry a woman simply because she pleased him. Thomas knows nothing more than this, but it must indeed have been a somewhat difficult breakup, for the wife eventually took up with another man and asked Johannes for a divorce, he having insisted as part of the settlement that the daughter must not be raised by the mother, which they both agreed to, Johannes having never seen the
woman again. Until the divorce he had been outwardly successful, but afterward none of it mattered to him, as he found himself changing on the inside, for he began to search for the meaning of life, eventually joining a group of people who called themselves mystics and founded a society called the Burning Thorn Bush, after which Johannes began to feel good again. There they tried to understand the meaning of life through meditative means and spoke of an eternal brotherhood that knows no borders, the brotherhood representing the true path for humankind, all other outward powers of earthly states being powerless in the face of it, they believing in the immense power of the Guardian of the Realm and other mystical revelations that can be experienced only on the inside, they mean nothing on the outside, though they are reflected in the soul through the face of the initiated, such that they know each other as brothers and sisters anywhere in the world through a simple glance or a single word exchanged between them.

Johannes met Frieda in this society of friends, she falling powerfully in love, though not encountering the same love in return, but Johannes needed help in the studio, and since Frieda wanted to change jobs, anyway, she soon became his assistant. That was fine with her, nor did she wish to stop there, for she wanted to fulfill his life, though he gently held back without dismissing her from her position. After the divorce Johannes had given up his apartment and moved into the studio, which in addition contained two rooms, a kitchen and an adjoining room. Then Frieda began to clean for Johannes, to do the shopping, take care of the kitchen, and eventually cook and wash the dishes, Johannes accepting it all, not approving, though also not protesting, such that when Frieda’s mother died he silently agreed to her suggestion that she move in with him, she bringing her own things and setting up a bed in the kitchen, while Johannes slept in the tower room, since then the two of them running the business together and living one next to the other. Long ago Johannes had eased his ties with the society of friends and then quit, after which he withdrew from life, no longer wishing to be misled into whatever circumstances might lead him to, for soon he wanted nothing more to do with matters of business or money, and if anyone wished to talk about them he would simply smile and say that silver can be found to buy bread, but gold comes from the sun, though his real earnings grew ever less, a studio assistant having to be let go, and Frieda taking
over these duties as well, though Thomas didn’t think she had been paid in years, and that her savings had been used to keep the business going, Frieda having come to terms with it all and living quietly next to Johannes.

Thomas doesn’t know how the loose circle around Johannes came together, but supposedly after his departure from the society of friends some of them would visit him now and then, eventually doing so on a regular basis, others also hearing about the group, such as Thomas, who one day showed up at the studio uninvited, Frieda greeting him when he announced in the waiting room that he wished to speak with Herr Tvrdil, though Frieda thought he was a customer as she observed curtly that Herr Tvrdil was not available, but was there something she could help him with, though Thomas countered that there was nothing he wanted other than to see Johannes, because he had the feeling that he should talk with Herr Tvrdil, though he didn’t really know what it was he wanted to ask of him, it being hard to explain what had brought him there. Then Frieda said warmly that she would be happy to let Herr Tvrdil know, upon which he welcomed Thomas like an old friend. In such manner the circle was formed, some bringing along friends, though it grew to no more than twenty people. Frieda is happy to welcome male visitors, and she’s friendly to women as well, though she keeps an eye on them with poorly concealed distrust, especially if they are young and pretty, though such worries are pointless, for Johannes treats men and women the same, speaking to all of them with natural ease, noting Frieda’s mild jealousy, though he ignores her and says, in case it should appear that he is discriminating against anyone, he first and foremost values all people equally, and that whoever senses envy or jealousy is not on the true path and should look inward in order to see how badly he is handling himself.

Now Thomas and Josef stand before Frieda, who lets the guests enter and tells them to take off their coats, then she stretches out her hand to each and says that Johannes will be pleased, for she has heard a lot about Josef, Thomas having said many nice things about him. She leads the guests out of the foyer decorated with photos and into the waiting room, in which there stands a large round table, a cupboard, a desk, and many chairs, prize-winning photos hanging on the walls, Frieda already having opened the door to the studio, telling the friends to sit, she will get Johannes. This,
then, is the renowned tower room, a grand room with a great bay full of windows, another window that is half draped to the side, bookshelves and cupboards appearing to line the walls, though it’s hard to see, since the tower room contains several folding screens, though there are not the odd kinds of shelves that photographers so often use. Meanwhile the room is covered with a thick carpet, the middle of which is kept as an open space, a photographic apparatus shoved into the corner with a black cloth covering it, two floodlights standing there as well. The bay is cut off from the rest of the room by heavy curtains, though they are pulled open, such that one can see the semicircular bench tucked into it, covered with pillows, and before it a wooden frame with an unusually large gong with a black-and-gold finish hanging from it. In the studio there are two standing lamps, but they are not lit, the gentle light that suffuses the room coming from a covered fixture in the ceiling, as Josef looks at a long, broad divan covered with a dark glowing throw made of an Indian fabric, a small, low table running the length of the divan before which sits a row of chairs, many more chairs standing around the room, the divan reaching to a corner platform on which some books rest, while across from it there hangs from the ceiling an eternal light framed by a soft red glow, no pictures on the wall nearby, the quiet ceremonial flame setting the tone of the room and not seeming strange but quite the opposite, causing Josef to feel safe and at home.