Panorama (41 page)

“It’s so nice, Josef, that you’re here! Now, what do you think of my boys?” It’s too soon to say, but perhaps he could wait until later. “That’s splendid. Others have rushed to judgment in talking to me about my boys, but I believe things will go better for you if I give you some advice. At first I was an openly critical mother, though of course I love my brood, but you must believe me when I say that I am objective and recognize their flaws, for I keep a much better eye on my boys than they think, even when I grant them the freedoms that they need. I am like a manometer, I mean a barometer, I measure the air pressure, Josef, the mental atmosphere. It’s in fact wonderful to watch a young boy’s soul unfold. A person is the greatest work of art possible, I always say, trust an experienced woman when it comes to that. There are predispositions, Josef. Consider Irwin, for instance, he’s like my husband through and through, a powerful type, somewhat robust but simple, more practical and without any artistic curiosity. That pains me so, but unfortunately the times are such that one can behave like a beast, even if you’re not as blond as Nietzsche, because the tender, excessively thoughtful people are the real shrinking violets. That’s why it pleases me that Irwin is cut from more solid skin, I mean stock. As long as he doesn’t find women threatening, he will do fine. You should know—under the veil of total silence, of course—that my marriage is not as happy as it seems. My husband
is indeed a model husband, he has a heart of gold and grants me anything I desire, though I have already shared with you that he was an even better son, just as Freud has shared with us about Oedipus. Therefore I always had to stand in the shadows. But that was not the only problem, my husband has always been very interested in other lovely women, I having to close my eyes and listen to what, of course, always gets back to me. You see, Josef, Irwin takes after his father, these days studying too closely any skirt that passes his way. Sophie has more than once complained of his being too forward. I’m not a prude, I always say, I find it all to be quite natural, but it’s dangerous, and I have spoken to Irwin indirectly—not directly, you understand—about it, though he didn’t wish to understand and maintained that he didn’t know what I was talking about. Since I couldn’t confront him with Sophie all that well, you can just imagine how painful it was, while in the mornings Irwin often doesn’t want to get up. That can only lead to bad blood, you understand. So please keep a close eye on him and keep me posted as to what you observe! Thankfully, Sophie is honest to the bone and won’t allow herself to lose her head, but if it continues we will have to call in a psychiatrist, because my husband’s brother—but swear that this will remain a secret between us!—was almost convicted due to some misconduct on his part. Only psychiatric expertise saved him, he having been placed in an institution for a while.”

Josef wants to calm Frau Director down, but she feels there is no need, Josef is just too inexperienced as yet, for she also wants to be patient with Irwin, but it will likely all pass, fomenting youth, as she always says, yet one can now do something about it through psychoanalysis, it all being normal as long as it’s properly handled and the complexes are sublimated. Josef should think about the sound of the word, how it reminds one of “sublime,” which sounds like a flower, indeed a bit of a stretch, but with a certain poetic quality. Today everything can be controlled, or it’s simply abnormal, the border never precisely drawn. Certainly the Director would be less complicated if psychoanalysis had existed and had been so widely accepted twenty years ago, though doctors back then were very old-fashioned, while the advances made now are fantastic, people should make greater use of them rather than being taken up by material inventions, such as the airplane, the radio, the many advancements in medicine, most likely there soon being
something one can take for cancer without needing an operation, just as they now have insulin for diabetes, Frau Director’s own father having died miserably from diabetes. The advances these days are really enormous, if the League of Nations could achieve agreement on disarmament, then eternal peace could now begin, enlightenment having at last prevailed. But there are dark powers, powers that exist in sleep and in dreams, which cannot be controlled by psychoanalysis or education, even though everything evil could be avoided if Freud’s teaching were followed, for analysis should be employed in the schools, children needing to be examined as early as the first grade, pedagogy really a branch of medicine, she always says, an enormous revolution in the philosophy about and solutions to social problems at the ready when one recognizes that everything can be attributed to complexes and repression. How Spinoza could philosophize today if he knew all this, for the good person is he who can see through all his complexes and master them.

Perhaps the world will be a little less romantic, but it’s more important that it’s healthy. If the world changed to such an extent, then Frau Director would send her boys to a free school, but that’s still out of the question, the corrupting influences are too many, which is why Frau Director wants her boys to have little to do with their friends. Irwin does indeed take dance lessons in order to develop some social manners, he liking this kind of music, while Frau Director patiently accepts that Josef doesn’t dance, otherwise she would ask him to go with Irwin. Good society, however, is unfortunately dying off, Frau Director needing to make an effort to maintain a small circle of prominent people, but in the arts there are many suspect imaginations, for though Frau Director has a feel for what’s modern, and the house is full of bold experiments, they are abstract works devoid of any romanticism, though the feeling within them is indeed genuine. Yet Frau Director is in her heart of hearts still somewhat unmodern, and it’s hard to go against your nature, though her husband is completely unmodern, it not mattering if you show him a nude photo or the Venus of Portici, but when it comes to modern portraits like those painted by Kokoschka, he immediately yells take it away, it’s hideous, he has no idea about what art is, Frau Director having taken a course on modern art with Professor Bäumel, a brilliant mind, she having wanted to bring Irwin along, but he came once
and never went again, the fine things of life closed off to him, realism the only style he can handle, just like the Director, though the latter used to have a feel, a wisp of poetry, as did everyone before 1914, while Irwin is ice-cold, killing any and all enthusiasm.

This is a concern for Frau Director, and she wants Josef to make sure to take Irwin to a museum now and then, perhaps marble statues something that will move him, the coldness of the stone and the graceful warmth of the body, the combination of the spiritual and the sensual worlds, and perhaps this would allow Irwin to work through his sexual desires toward something more noble, which would then help him to sublimate the flush of puberty within the aesthetic. Frau Director had already tried this with the last tutor, but he was an overrefined bundle of nerves who needed to go into analysis himself, Josef needing to hear a bit about him before the children say anything, for he was a poet, very gifted, a good writer who had soul and a fine sense for nature, able to be swept away by a beautiful panorama, he possessing a tender, erotic air about him, almost French, though poets surprisingly are often not very good teachers, they are too egocentric, and so the boys didn’t like him, Irwin especially having real problems until things eventually fell apart, the tutor feeling that his poetic honor had been insulted, which was of course ridiculous, but then he was suddenly gone, the Director having to reach deep into his pocket, as you can’t simply let such a little heap of unhappiness simply go
vis-à-vis de rien
.

Neither randy Irwin, who can be downright fresh, nor Robert, who is enough of a handful on his own, causes more worry for Frau Director than does Lutz, her real concern, for he is just like his mother, a tender blossom, sensitive and dreamy, but unprepared for raw reality, with no understanding of the workings of the everyday world, truly without a care, yet in the wrong way. If only he were a girl, then his romantic inclinations would be fine, for he takes in so much that would be really useful if he studied medicine, a psychiatrist being half a poet in some ways, yet Lutz’s interests have nothing to do with poetry but instead are completely romantic and can easily go astray. He wants continual adventure, as if life, as it is, is not a big enough adventure, he able to observe a wasp for an hour, or a common housefly will send him into paroxysms about what tender wings it has, how sensibly such a tiny animal is constructed, which makes the Director think that Lutz could perhaps
be an agriculturist, though as a mother I don’t want to hear anything about it, for if it doesn’t involve climbing a career ladder, at least it doesn’t have to mean descending one in return. Farming is not for such an overly excitable boy, no matter how noble a large estate or even a normal farm can be, for Lutz is not cut out for it, and such a career would break him.

Josef begs to differ, saying there is still time for Lutz to decide what he wants to do, and what the boy really wants is a microscope, which would seem a worthwhile desire in regard to medicine. Frau Director remains unmoved in her stand against it, a good microscope is expensive, and because of the current economic crisis it’s hardly affordable, and Josef should make no mistake, it’s still a naïve childish wish, for today Lutz wants a microscope, while tomorrow he’ll abandon it out of boredom, his head full with the idea of getting a telescope. No, the boys must be raised with a sense of consequence, and not just have their every whim catered to, that weakens character and is a continual mistake in the way children are raised these days. Yes, if Irwin also wanted a microscope she could imagine that he would know what he would need it for, it even perhaps doing him some good, while if only to put an end to it all she had asked him if he wanted a microscope, to which he just laughed and asked what he’d even do with such a contraption, though a motorbike, well, that would please Irwin indeed, he’d speed around like a devil and break every bone in his body, while one could indeed give a motorbike to Lutz when he is bigger, if only to loosen him up a bit, for in short, Lutz requires a strong hand, Irwin a more delicate touch. To this Josef tries to raise some doubt in the hope of changing her mind, but Frau Director is firm in her view, there being no way to change how she intends to raise her boys, for while she is grateful for suggestions the basic questions are already decided, she wishing to remind Josef of his own words about not being ready to judge the boys. He begs her pardon in response, he didn’t mean to be so forward, and meanwhile he will think about how he can be of help to Lutz, but it will not be easy to do so. In the meantime, Frau Director says that she attributes Josef’s critical remarks to his youthful temperament, though she values real fire and doesn’t like a waffler, since, as she always says, Josef is indeed far removed from true philosophy by virtue of his age, Frau Director also considers the tutor’s upbringing, Josef still being
half a child even at twenty-two, and he should enjoy his youthful years, as the years go by quickly.

Josef knows enough to express deep gratitude for Frau Director’s advice, and then asks if she would be good enough to consider a suggestion. “Yes, of course, my young friend, let’s hear it!” Josef puts forth the question of whether she would support his taking the boys on a short hike sometime soon, it would provide a good opportunity to get to know them better, and he’d be happy to set aside this Sunday or next to spend with the two of them or separately with each alone. Frau Director asks if Josef will be wanting to use the car for this. No, we will hike on foot, maybe needing to start a little ways by train. Frau Director needs to think about it for a while and speak with her husband, there is no real rush, though it’s an exciting idea, and maybe even Frau Director could tag along, she’s a good hiker, or they could organize a larger group and invite others, though this makes Josef immediately want to raise some concerns. However, there’s a knock at the door and Lutz enters, standing by the door and waiting until the mother asks, “Well, Lutz?”—“I just wanted to see if Josef is coming back to us. We’ve finished our homework.”—“But Lutz, come here first. You may kiss my hand.” He kisses his mother’s hand. “Lutzi, do you love your mother?” Lutz nods as she says, “I’ve been speaking to Josef about you boys. He likes you very much. Do you like him as well?” Lutz nods again, and Frau Director dismisses them with a wave of her hand. “Thank you, Josef. Take care, my sweet child, goodbye!”

Josef feels a bit dazed and wants to be alone for a little while, but he senses that Lutz would be disappointed, so he follows him to his room, which is somewhat messy, Irwin not there, and he asking Lutz where he could be. Lutz doesn’t know, Irwin was just here when Lutz went to get Josef. Josef speculates that Irwin wanted to go to the movies, though Lutz doesn’t know anything about it, or maybe he just doesn’t want to tell on him, Josef deciding not to press him any further, but rather just to ask if Irwin is allowed to leave when he wants and without saying anything. Lutz can’t say exactly, sometimes Mother gets upset, while at other times she’s pleased about how independent Irwin is, praising him in comparison with Lutz and asking why he can’t be as independent, although he doesn’t dare
to, for Mother would go crazy if he ever went off on his own, though Irwin never asks and just leaves, and as long as he shows up on time for dinner everything is all right. Only once did he arrive late, no one knowing where he was, everyone in the house upset as they interrogated Lutz, though he knew nothing and said only that Irwin had simply left, at which Father asked again in anger, Lutz, where is Irwin? He must have said something when he left, but Irwin really hadn’t said anything, Mother wanting Father to calm down as she observed that Lutz never knew anything when asked, since he only daydreams, though Father had said to Mother that he never commented on how to raise the children, but he did expect them to be at the table each evening, to which Mother answered that it is too bad that Father doesn’t worry more, for they are his children just as much as they are hers, adding in English that this should not be talked about in front of the children or the servants, but Father said he wouldn’t hold back. And then there was even greater concern, for Irwin was still not there, everyone having asked around for him, including the tutor, which was Anselm then, who said he wouldn’t know, he had no control over Irwin whatsoever, though that didn’t sit well with Mother, who said that it was part of the tutor’s job to take care of his students, and Anselm wasn’t helping anything by just letting Irwin wander off. But the tutor argued that he couldn’t just tether Irwin. Then they asked Sophie and Anton, though they also knew nothing, after which they called the cook and the chauffeur, the cook saying that she was stuck in the kitchen and didn’t know who left or entered the house, the chauffeur also saying there was no way for him to know if the young master left. Later they observed that they had forgotten to ask Madame or Robert, but they knew nothing at all, and now everyone was worried about Irwin and couldn’t eat a thing, only Madame having fed Robert and put him to bed, Anselm also having had his evening meal, though just a small one before leaving the room. Mother, meanwhile, had complained that she was worried, there are so many bad men about, and Irwin was such a hothead, Father having telephoned the police, who told him he shouldn’t get so upset, the boy will turn up, Father then screaming into the phone that he paid his taxes, but when he needed the help of the police they are useless, to which the police said that he needed to calm down, they would look for Irwin. The parents had still not eaten a thing, but Lutz was so hungry that
he wanted something, at which Mother asked if he was so heartless as to think about dinner when his brother was perhaps lost forever, at which Lutz then left the room and headed into the kitchen, where the cook gave him something to eat, it already being almost nine o’clock. Then suddenly Irwin turned up happy as a lark and behaving as if everything was normal, though Father never once asked him where he had been and why he was so late, but instead grabbed him and hit him and then gave him a couple of hard slaps left and right that turned Irwin’s face completely red, Father then dragging him into the boys’ bedroom and yelling that he didn’t want to see the sight of him again that night, and if the same thing should happen again he could expect even worse. Mother stood there frozen, Father had for once done something, she wanting to talk to Irwin, since he had not yet eaten, but Father held strong, at which Mother cried, because she’s opposed to beating children, it leads to complexes and can destroy the nerves, but Irwin was never that late again and nothing more was said of it.