Panties for Sale (27 page)

You know, on my way home from
my massage, I stopped on the corner to buy a pack of smokes.
 
And I didn’t.
 
Can you believe it?
 
I walked
right past the convenience store to a Starbucks and bought myself a
cappuccino.
 

Yes, that’s right.
 
And I sat in the window, with my notebook and
my cappuccino.
 
Ha!
 
I looked like a writer or something.
 
One of those intellectual people that sit up
there.
 
And I wrote a list of all the
things I am thankful for.
 
I don’t know
why.
 
I just felt like it.
 
I don’t know what gave me the idea.
 
Luann told me when I was upset to say thank
you really quickly for two minutes.
 
But
I tried that and it frustrated me.
 
Thank
you for what?
 
I need to assign my thank
yous.
 
Oh and it was so fun. I thanked
everyone I could think of.
 
Angela,
really you are blessed.
 
As Luann says,
the universe is magnificent.
 
And it will
always bring good to me.
 
Angela I love
you.
 
Namaste (that’s what my massage
lady said
 
Namaste.
 
She says it as hello and good bye.
 
I like it.)

List of Thank Yous
 

By Angela Cruikshank

Thank you for my
cappuccino.
 
Thank you for Starbucks for
making it for me.
 
Extra foam.
 
With chocolate shaker things.
 
Thank you for chocolate.
 
God, thank you for chocolate.
 
Thank you for the farmers that pick the cocoa
bean in Africa.
 
Thank you for the coco
bean for growing.
 
Thank you to Hershey
and Nestle for bringing the chocolate to me.
 
Thank you for me for stopping and ordering it instead of smokes. Even
though, it’s almost as much money as my small pack of Du Maurier lights..
 
But it’s healthy, right? Thank you for my
Indian massage lady.
 
Thank you for the
oil.
 
What did she say it was?
 
Ayurvedic oil from India.
 
Thank you for the people in India for making
my oil.
 
Thank you for India.
 
Ha!
 
That’s an Alanis Morisette song.
 
Man, she was ahead of her time, eh?

Thank you for India
though, for inventing this massage.
 
Thank you for Luann.
 
God.
 
Thank god for Luann.
 
She is my rock.
 
I have never felt so good in my life. Thank
you for Althea for telling me about Luann. Thank you for my body.
 
Thank you for my manicurist.
 
My nails look superb.
 
Thank you for the people that make this nail polish
colour, Obi?
 
Thank you for the people
that invented acrylic nails.
 
Thank you
for the farmers in where?
 
Africa?
 
That farm
the rubber from the trees.
 
I think
that’s what goes into my nails, right?
 
Thank you for the rubber.
 
That
definitely goes into the bottom of my shoes.
 
Thank you for Payless for making these sexy shoes and selling them
cheap.
 
So I can buy more of them.
 
Thank you for Walmart.
 
Thank you for Jordache for these jeans. Thank
you for Jones New York
for this sweater.
 
Thank you to the
Walmart Family for creating the store that sells everything, cheap.
 
Thank you for Loreal and Clariol for making
the best hair and makeup.
 
Thank you for
all the small factories in China
that make all this stuff.
 
Thank you for
the young children who go to work to make this.
 
Really though, they should be in school.
 

Alex took a sip of the cognac Joseph had insisted on
ordering for a night cap.
 
She really
didn’t think that he could look any more handsome but here he was, dressed in a
black Armani suit with his hair slicked back and smelling of warm musky
spices.
 
Alex was intoxicated but she
couldn’t be sure if it was the rich amber brandy rushing through her body or
merely sitting near Joseph, so close, that was setting every inch of her body
on fire.

“Joseph,” she murmured.

“Yes my darling,” Joseph reached across the table for her
hand and wrapped his warm fingers around hers.
 
Alex could practicality see tiny sparks of electricity shoot between
them.

“Tell me more about Tunisia.”

“Tunisia?
 
That is a strange question.
 
What is it you want to know, my Alexandria?”

“Everything.
 
It
sounds so exotic.
 
Did you know that they
filmed Star Wars there?
 
The original
one.
  
God, I love that movie.
 
Luke I am your father,” she lowered her voice
in her best, very bad Darth Vader impression.

“Really?”
 
Joseph
laughed, “I don’t know about that.”

“No, really.
 
It’s
true.
 
In your dessert, is that in the
South?
 
There is a town called Tataouine.
It’s just sand for miles around and the houses are small sand huts, almost like
in the movie. You know where Luke Skywalker grew up.”

Joseph looked curiously at Alex.
 
“And how do you know this, Alexandria?”

“Oh,” Alex blushed, “I googled it.”

“You are looking up on me?”

“No, I just wanted to know more about your country.
 
I was curious.”
 

“Ah, Tunisia,” Joseph sighed, a far away look in his eyes.
“Ok,” he smiled at Alex, “I will tell you a famous story.
 
It is so famous it is written on a wall in
the palazzo, the square, is that how you say it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, there once was a very wise man.
  
A king.
 
He was a very good king.
 
He was
kind and fair.
 
He made many good laws
and helped the people; everyone both poor and rich.
 
His kingdom became a land of riches and
wealth.
 
Everyone that came to visit this
country thought it was the best place, the most beautiful place in the
world.
 
And it was all because of this
very good king.
 
But there was one
problem.
 
The king was single.
 
He had no wife. And this was not good.
 
A king,” Joseph paused to kiss Alex’s hand,
“must have a wife.
 
It’s not that the
king didn’t want a wife.
 
He did.
 
He wanted to get married.
 
But, he was very straight, very exacting, how
you say?
 
He did not want to marry just
any girl.
 
He wanted to marry the perfect
woman.
 
Oh there were many beautiful
women in his court.
 
Of course.
 
Like you,” Joseph winked at Alex.

Did he just say I was like the perfect woman?
 
Alex smiled.
  

“These women in the court, they liked to sit and play and
dance and laugh. They loved to be pampered and to be adored.
 
But this king, he wanted more. He knew that
one of his men; maybe one of his teachers, in his court, he had a
daughter.
 
She was so beautiful,” Joseph
lifted one arm and waved it in the air, to add emphasis to his story, “you
can’t imagine. And she was smart, so smart.
 
But she wasn’t interested in marriage. At all.
 
She wanted to travel and to study.
 
The king thought that she would be a good
woman to marry.
 
Yes.
 
He thought he might like to marry her.
 
So,” Joseph shrugged his shoulders, “what can
he do?
 
He is the king.
 
He can order her to marry him. Of course, but
no.
 
He wants to win her heart.
 
See,” he pointed to his head, “I told you he
is a very clever king.”
 

“So, he disguised himself.
 
He pretended to be a man of the court, just a regular guy, and followed
her around, every day, learning everything he could about her.
  
The more he learnt, the more he liked
her.
 
He was sure she would be a very
good wife.
 
But he still wasn’t sure if
she was the perfect woman.
 
You see, he
had never seen her without her clothes off and,” Joseph grinned, “that was very
important.”
 

“One day, when the ladies went down to the river to bathe,
the king hid behind a large rock.
 
He sat
for hours in the hot morning sun watching the ladies talk and play while they
did the washing.
 
When the washing was
finished and the clothes were drying on the rocks, the ladies took off all
their clothes and went into the river to bathe themselves.
 
The king was shocked.
 
He had never seen anyone so beautiful as the
girl he wanted to marry.
 
Her skin was
pale like honey, without any marks.
 
Her
breasts were round and beautiful like melons.
 
Her stomach was so white and smooth.
 
White, like you,” Joseph smiled at Alex.
 
“The king was so excited he could hardly think.
 
He almost gave away his hiding spot.
 
But, he was not the king for nothing,” Joseph
chuckled. “No, he was very clever.
 
He
gathered his wits about him.
 
He crawled
out from behind the rock and stole the girl’s clothes.
 
Then he shouted out to her.
 
I have your clothes and I will not give them
back.
 
You will have to come out and get
them. He was quite a how do you say, a rascal, no?
 
The king knew if she came out to get them, he
would be able to see her close up, in all her beauty.”

“The other ladies were shocked at the king’s behavior and
quickly ran out of the water screaming.
 
They grabbed their clothes and ran back into the city.
 
But the king didn’t care. He wasn’t
interested in them.
 
He only wanted to
see the one girl.
 
But she refused to
come out.
 
She was still sitting in the
water.
 
And so he sat on top of the rock
and waited.”
  

“Please,” she called, “give me my clothes.”

“No,” the king said, “you have to come and get them.
 
And, I won’t give them to you unless you
agree to be my wife.”
 

“No, I will not,” the girl shouted.
 
And so they waited a long time.
 
The girl sat in the water and the king sat on
the rock.
 
All day they sat.
 

“Come,” the king said, “it is very hot.”
 

“No,” the girl said, “I will not.”
 
It passed lunch time, and still neither
moved.
 
Then it started to get dark.
 

“Come on,” said the king.
 
“It is getting dark and I am very hungry.”
 

“The king was getting impatient.
 
He had sat there all day.
 
And he was the king.
 
He had other things to do.
 
The girl thought it over too.
 
Remember she was standing naked in the water
all day.
 
And she was very smart,
yes?
 
And, she was very cold and hungry
too.
 
And,” Joseph shrugged, “there are
worse things than marrying a king.
 
So,
finally the girl came out of the water.
 
The king gave her back her clothes after seeing her beauty up
close.
  
And so the king finally got
married.”
 
Joseph picked up his cognac
and took a long slow drink.

 
“That’s it?
 
That’s your famous story?”
 

“Yes,” Joseph laughed.
 
“It is very famous in my country and it’s true.”
 

“But, what happened to the girl after?”

“She became his wife, the queen and she bore the king many
sons.”

“But I thought she wanted to study and travel?”

“Not when you are married to a king.
 
Everything changes.”

“That is so unfair.
 
And what kind of king sneaks up and spies on naked girls?
 
What a pervert!”

Joseph laughed out loud, “No, he is just a man.
 
Come,” he reached out for Alex’s hand.
 
She stood up and allowed herself to be led
into the middle of the restaurant where the tables had been cleared away to
make a small area for dancing.
 
A jazz
quartet played softly in the corner.
 
Joseph twirled Alex around and pulled her close to him, so close she
could barely breathe.
 
Enveloped by his
warmth, his charm, the smell of his aftershave, Alex surrendered and leaned
against Joseph, resting her head on his broad chest.
 
His strong hands wrapped around her, guiding
her across the dance floor.
 
“You are so
beautiful.”
 
His breath on her neck made
her dizzy and her body trembled with desire.
 
Cupping her face gently in his hands, Joseph brought her mouth up to
meet his.
 
“I want you, I want you so
much.”

“I want you too,” Alex whispered.
 

Joseph led Alex out of the restaurant and into the back
seat of his waiting car. Before she could even ask where they were going, he
pulled her tight and covered her face with kisses. For Alex, time just seemed
to stop.
 
All that mattered was now, this
moment.
 
This moment with Joseph.
 
Kissing Joseph.
 
His soft lips pressing against hers, his
tongue prodding and exploring her mouth.
 
Alex could barely breathe.
 
She
wrapped her arms around Joseph and pulled him closer to her, wanting him,
needing him, her body aching for him with an intensity she had never felt
before.

She didn’t even notice that the car had stopped until the
driver came around and opened the door.
 
Blinking in the bright lights, Alex was surprised to find herself at the
Royal York hotel.
 
She leaned against
Joseph, wrapping her arms around his waist as he ushered her swiftly through
the lobby and up to his suite.
 

The door had barely closed behind them, when Joseph grabbed
Alex and pushed her up against the door.
 
Holding her hands above her head, he unzipped her dress and let it fall
to the floor. “I like this,” Joseph moaned, as he slipped her bra off her shoulders
“so beautiful. This color,” he gently bit the tip of Alex’s breast, “this
excites me.”

Alex squealed as Joseph picked her up and threw her over
his shoulder.
 
He carried her into the
bedroom and threw her down onto the mattress.
 
As her head sunk into the soft pillows, she laughed out loud. She could
never remember a moment when she had felt so adored, so wanted and so
completely blissful.
  
She stretched her
naked body out like a cat, enjoying the tingles and sensations coursing through
her body, the warmth and pleasure vibrating from the excitement of what was to
come.
 

As she watched Joseph undress and lay down beside her on
the bed, she noticed with delight that his body was even better then she had
imagined.
 
His skin was dark and muscular
with a small cropping of black hair over his chest; not an unruly carpet of
thick straggly hair, but just the right amount to give him a touch of
softness.
 
She reached out and stroked
the hairs on his chest, surprised at their softness, and moved closer to nuzzle
her face.
 
She could feel Joseph’s hands
moving up and down her body, the warmth from his fingers creating a trail of
anticipation on her naked flesh which he quickly followed with his lips.
 
As he grabbed her breasts in his hands, he
flicked her hard nipples with his tongue then sucked them one by one into his
mouth.
 
Alex arched her back, groaning in
pleasure.
 
She reached her arms down,
reaching her fingers to grab him, wanting to give him pleasure too, but Joseph
brushed her hand away.
 
“Shh,” he
whispered as if sensing her confusion, “don’t speak, just enjoy.”