Pao (30 page)

It wasn’t till Fay take the children that all of that change, maybe because Gloria think I only got the one child now so I can concentrate on her. So Esther only really become my daughter after Mui and Xiuquan was gone.

When it come to the speeches I already done tell Gloria that I didn’t know what to say. What yu going say ’bout being the father of a woman you don’t hardly know? And you busy giving her in marriage to some man you maybe meet two or three times. What yu going say? That for the first fourteen years of this woman’s life you all but ignore her? You can’t even remember how many times you see her and even when you did happen to come ’cross her you can’t remember any conversation you ever had with her about anything at all. That in fourteen years you never read her a book in bed, or play a game with her, or take her to the beach, or help her with her pyjama party, or take her to the pictures, or eat ice cream with her, or watch her blow out any birthday candles. Yu can’t even remember what present you ever buy her or what Gloria get for her and tell her it come from me. And then yu wife kidnap yu other two children and that is when you realise that you have another child. So it is only since the others gone that you start to get to know this woman and what you discover is that she is smart and funny and a caring person. Everything you would want yu child to be. Maybe everything you would wish you could be yourself but you are not. And on top of all of this, the very special thing about Esther is her forgiveness. That she had it in her heart to forgive me and just wait for the day that I would be there for her as her father who love her and feel pleased and proud that she is in this world.

Gloria look at me and say, ‘That is fine. It honest.’

So when the moment come I get up and I say it. I tone down the first part a little bit and when I get to the part about being her father I say, ‘Who she can call Daddy. Who love her and feel pleased and proud that she is in the world to be a daughter to me and Gloria, and a wife to Rajinder, but most of all to be a person to herself.’

I can hardly hear the clapping because right then I look at Esther and I see she got a sorta smile on her face but she crying. And then I feel something wet on my own face and I sit down and Gloria pass me a tissue to wipe away the tear.

After that when it come to the dancing Esther and Rajinder do what they have to and afterwards she walk straight over to where I am sitting and stand there with her hand held out to me for me to go dance with her.

I say to her, ‘Esther, I can’t dance.’

And she say, ‘It doesn’t matter.’

So I get up and I go on the dance floor with her, dressed in this black tuxedo and bow tie that Gloria say I got to wear. And as I am dancing with her I realise that the look on my face must be exactly that same one that Rajinder have when me and Esther was walking down the aisle towards him. Like a dream I didn’t even know I had had just come true. And when I look over to Gloria still sitting there at the table, I see the dream had come true for her as well.

33

Marches

Mui pass the Bar exam. She send me a copy of
The Times
newspaper from England that got her name in it – ‘Called to the Bar at Lincoln’s Inn.’

But even while I was busy showing the paper to everybody I know and telling them what a brilliant daughter I have there was trouble brewing. And after a lot of talk and telephone call and this and that Finley say we have to go meet this man, but we have to go to Negril because he tell Finley he not going to no Blue Lagoon. He say he is a Miami man. A man for blue sea and blue sky not some dark dingy Kingston bar.

Finley tell me him name Ian Maynard Fitzgerald and I say, ‘What? What kinda name that is?’

‘I think it the sorta name that got history and a whole heap of family with big connections. Otherwise, why would you bother yourself with a mouthful like that? Not unless you think you impressing somebody. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that him great-granddaddy fight with General Custer.’ And me and Finley laugh. ‘Anyway,’ Finley say, ‘seem him got a nickname, Sam.’

‘So where that nickname come from?’ And Finley just shrug him shoulders.

Sam got himself a hotel in Negril right on a nice piece of that seven mile of white sandy beach they always advertising in the tourist brochure. The hotel big, it impressive, it classy. Sam tell us it got all the American and German newspaper for sale right there in the lobby shop. It got the beach, two swimming pool and five restaurant serving every kinda food that the tourist want to eat. It got helicopter trips to the Blue Lagoon, by which he mean the big blue water hole over Port Antonio way, not my favourite bar in Kingston. It got waterskiing and every beach sport you can think of. It got entertainment day and night. It got babysitting and kindergarten club. And the best thing? It all inclusive. The guests never have to step foot outside the place, and to keep everybody safe and sound they lock up the big gates every night at seven o’clock, half hour before nightfall, and they don’t bother tell the people that they not no street violence in Negril, that all the trouble in Kingston. No, they just like to keep it simple with all the tourist lock up inside there being all inclusive while the local shops and bars and restaurants going to hell because they not got no customers. And the all-inclusive profit going straight back to America because Sam is a Miami man.

So me and Finley sitting down on this here veranda with Sam while the little waitress is running backward and forward with the rum punch and shrimp salad and Sam is leaning his big white self back in the chair admiring his own handiwork with his poolside Greek temples, and stone lions with water spouting out their mouth, and artificial waterfall like Jamaica not got enough natural beauty without Sam bringing all this concrete in here.

Well Sam hotel got everything, except one thing. It not got no paying guests because the American media so busy frightening all of them good US citizens with they stories of robbery and rape and murder and violence and mayhem in Jamaica that none of them want to set foot down here no more. Even though in truth the whole thing local and don’t involve no tourist anyway, and certainly not in Negril or Ocho Rios which is where all the tourist traffic at.

When Sam finally get round to telling us what he want, he say, ‘Merleen Chin,’ in this smooth, silky voice like him making a commercial for some chocolate bar. But that didn’t fool me none. I knew right away what he was after, because when we finish with the Charles Meacham business and baby John getting born, Merleen finish school and go study tourism in America and now she back she get a good job in a big European vacation company booking people into hotels and what not, and that is good for us what with all the hotel contracts we busy negotiating all the while.

‘Merleen can’t full up your hotel with guests just like that.’

Sam smile like he sweet. Like he think he some handsome Prince Charming, even though he got little chests like a woman and he flabby ’round the middle. Sitting there in some seersucker shirt and white slacks and shoes, but no socks. What kinda man go ’round the place and no wear no socks?

‘Well if she can’t we’ll have to think real hard about what you’re proposing to do right here.’ And he look at me and then at Finley and back at me again. Then he smile and say, ‘Come on, guys, we’re all grown men. You know the score and I know for sure that you two have a lot more experience at this kind of conversation than I do. Right?’

We don’t say nothing to him, so he just carry on.

‘I tell you what, how about I just say these three little things I have in mind and you see how that hangs with you. First, Merleen Chin. Wouldn’t it be great if she could get some guests placed right here in this little piece of wonderland? Maybe get us up to what, and I want to be fair with you guys, so let’s say eighty-five per cent occupancy. I’m sure she can do that. Second, Margy Lopez and that cute little cosmetics company. Yeah. All that importing, and for the supermarkets too. I could source all of that for you. Really. I spend a lot of time Stateside. It wouldn’t be any problem at all. Third, good staff, so hard to come by, don’t you think? And the wage bill, man, what can I tell you? I would so like to dampen down with that. Know what I mean? But heck, they’ll just run off or go to the unions. So maybe you can figure out how to get all that to work?’

‘We don’t have nothing to do with no unions.’

‘Ah yes, but your friend Mr DeFreitas does, doesn’t he?’

We just sit there and look at him.

‘I know yu think yu got us over a barrel and that is why we going do all of this for you.’

‘Barrel?’ and him lean forward. ‘You want me to spell it out? Illegal gambling, extortion, prostitution, stolen goods, money laundering, and that’s to say nothing about perverting the course of justice, you know, little girls flying off to Miami when they should be here facing a double murder rap. You get my drift?’

I take my hand and just rest a finger against my lips in case I go say something that I regret. Sun Tzu say, ‘
When an advancing enemy crosses water do not meet him at the water’s edge
.’

Then in a real friendly voice him say, ‘Hey, you probably need some time to think about all of this. You know, figure out how you’re gonna get this shit together.’ He reach into the top pocket of his shirt and pull out a business card and hand it to me.

‘Why don’t you call me when you are ready?’ And he get up and walk off, stopping at the door to tell the waiter to put the drinks and such down as business entertainment. Then he turn ’round and come back to the table and lean across it and say to me, almost in a whisper, ‘And let’s not forget about the archbishop. An affair with the gang boss’s wife?’ He sorta raise his eyebrows both together. ‘What would Rome say?’ And he knock on the table a couple of times with him knuckles and say, ‘Don’t keep me waiting.’

When we leaving the hotel me and Finley see the two constables standing up in the lobby dress in some nice, neat, press security-guard uniform.

Sun Tzu say, ‘
Those who do not know the conditions of mountains and forests, hazardous defiles, marshes and swamps, cannot conduct the march of an army
.’ So I tell Clifton to go find out what happen and it turn out that Mutt and Jeff so mad with me for turning down their drug deal, especially after they take the hiding and nuh say nothing, that they decide to go dig up everything they could find out about me and anybody that have anything to do with me. And all of this information they decide to go give to Ian Maynard Fitzgerald because they can see that he got money. And since they more interested in the money than bringing me to justice they run off to Negril with the news because Sam got the wherewithal to take advantage of everything they got to tell him. Plus it seem like maybe Sam in the drug business with them now so the three of them busy living it up in Miami when they not here guarding over Sam’s wonderland.

And who is Ian Maynard Fitzgerald? Some old boyfriend of Clifton’s. That is how Mutt and Jeff come ’cross him in the first place, tailing Clifton to Negril and Miami where he leading this double life.

So I say to Clifton, ‘This man, he nuh supposed to be a friend of yours?’

And him say, ‘I used to think so.’

I can see Clifton already feel bad ’bout it so I don’t say nothing more, especially since it not Clifton fault anyway, it mine for refusing to join the constables in their drug dealing. But that was never going to be, so it was always a calamity just waiting to happen. And in truth it been sitting there waiting a long time, not from the drug dealing, not even from the hiding they take, but from the moment the two of them decide to go help Fay take the children from me.

34

Control

The telephone ring and when I pick it up it is Mui. She say she ready to come home.

‘Mui, yu know that is what everybody want. That is what yu been working so hard for all these years, but honestly this is not a good moment.’

‘Papa, it’s Jamaica. Is there ever going to be a good moment?’

‘Maybe not, but there will be a better moment than this one. Trust me on that. Anyway, has something happened? Yu nuh sound so good. Yu sound like maybe yu just done crying.’ She quiet at the other end of the phone. ‘Something happen then?’

‘I met a woman at one of the dinners. She is a head of chambers at Lincoln’s Inn.’

‘Yes.’

‘And I happened to mention that I am Jamaican and she remarked that she had been to Jamaica many years ago. Anyway, she seemed quite friendly. She asked me my name, which it seemed like she already knew. And then she asked me who my father was, and when I told her she completely changed towards me. She became very dismissive, almost hostile. It was such a sudden transformation I started to wonder if I was imagining it, and then afterwards I thought perhaps she had some kind of personality problem because someone told me that she actually asked to be seated next to me.’

‘What this woman called?’

‘Her name is Helena Meacham. If you know her it may be under a different name. I know she has been married and divorced and I’m not sure if Meacham is her married name.’

‘No, that is her name from when she was down here. But so what? What so important ’bout this that it make you cry?’

‘Well, since I met her some horrible things have been happening around me. First of all I seem to be getting less work from the chambers’ clerk. Less work, less well paid, less interesting. Second, people who used to be quite friendly have stopped speaking to me, and a few have been quite rude or nasty. I am beginning to feel completely ostracised.’