Paradise (31 page)

She was just about to go outside and watch the sun rise when the phone rang. Thinking it was most likely a
wrong number, she was all set to ignore it, but then she heard the caller leaving a message on the answerphone which had her rushing to pick it up. It was Loretta’s nurse. She’d taken a turn for the worse. Could Ethan come right now?

Angel had been so caught up with her dad’s illness that she hadn’t realised how close Loretta was to the end. These past two weeks, Ethan had spent nearly all his time with her when he wasn’t with Honey. He hadn’t let Angel know as he didn’t want to put that on her, on top of all she was going through with Frank. At Loretta’s house, Angel put her arm around him, trying her best to comfort him as he held his grandmother’s hand. It was so typical of Ethan, wanting to protect her, and not thinking of himself. Even though he had known this was coming he was still shell-shocked, trying to put on a brave face for his grandmother, who was drifting in and out of consciousness. There was nothing more to be done for Loretta now and the nurse told Ethan it was a matter of hours.

He told Loretta how much he loved her and about the wedding plans, as if she could hear him, while all the time her breathing was getting more and more shallow. It was late-afternoon when she opened her blue eyes for the briefest of moments, seemed to seek out Ethan’s, then closed them.

‘I think she’s gone,’ the nurse said gently.

Ethan got up and lightly kissed Loretta’s forehead and stroked her hair. Then he turned to Angel, who held him to her as he wept.

‘I really wanted her to be there for the wedding,’ he said through his tears. ‘It would have meant so much to her.’

Angel stroked his head. ‘At least she knew we were getting married. She was so happy for you, Ethan, and so proud of you.’ How could she tell him now that she
didn’t want him, and that she was in love with Cal? She just couldn’t do that to him.

That night Cal finally texted her:
We
have
to
talk
x
. Ethan was asleep beside her and so Angel crept out of the bedroom and shut herself in her dressing room to call Cal back. She didn’t waste any time saying hello.

‘Have you told Madeleine?’

Cal sighed. ‘No, it hasn’t been the right time. She’s had some bleeding and is worried she might lose the baby. I just can’t tell her yet. Please understand, Angel?’

‘I don’t want you to tell her at all,’ Angel said in cold, hard voice, trying desperately to hide the emotion she felt.

‘What do you mean? Of course I’m going to tell her!’ Cal exclaimed passionately.

‘Don’t. I’m going to marry Ethan. It’s what I want. What happened between us was a mistake; it was wedding nerves or something.’

‘Don’t say this, Angel! You don’t mean it. You love me, I know you do. And I love you. I just need time to break the news to Madeleine. Something else must have happened to make you say this?’

‘Nothing’s happened. Whatever we had, Cal, it’s over. I’m marrying Ethan.’ She was back saying the mantra. ‘I have to go. Please don’t call me again. I really have made up my mind. Goodbye, Cal.’

And before he could reply, she ended the call and switched off her phone. Somehow Angel held it together as she walked quietly through the house until she got outside and curled up on one of the sun loungers, where she lay and sobbed in the darkness.

Somehow Angel got through the next few weeks by focussing all her attention on Ethan. He was devastated by Loretta’s death. She had always been
there for him, and without her steady influence and unconditional love, he seemed to be floundering. Angel had constantly to reassure him that she loved him. She suggested they should postpone the wedding, but he wouldn’t hear of it. ‘That’s the one thing that’s keeping me going,’ he told her, making her even more certain that she had to go through with it. Cal continued to leave messages and texts but Angel found the strength to delete them without either listening to them or reading them.

Back in the UK the press got hold of the news of Madeleine’s pregnancy, which made her relationship with Cal seem fixed, as what kind of man would walk out on the mother of his child? Not Cal, that was for sure. Of course, Gemma and Jez both saw the story and called Angel to see how she had taken the news. She managed to get through the call from Gemma without giving anything away, but broke down with Jez and finally admitted what had happened.

Very little shocked Jez, but he was stunned when she told him that. ‘Oh my God! You slept with Cal?’

‘I thought we were going to get back together, but then he found out Madeleine was pregnant and I found out he was engaged to her.’

‘Oh my God! You and Cal are
destined
to be together. You’re like Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.’

This was not helpful.

‘We’re not – he’s having a baby with someone else. I’m going to
marry Ethan.’

‘Yeah, so you keep saying. Do you think if you keep saying it, it will come true?’

‘I love Ethan,’ Angel insisted. ‘And he really loves me.’

‘But you love Cal as well, don’t you?’

Angel didn’t need to answer that question. ‘I have to marry Ethan,’ she said again. ‘Please don’t tell anyone about what happened with Cal?’

Jez sighed, ‘Of course I won’t tell anyone, but you really need to think this through.’ He paused. ‘I was going to say that it was like a situation from a Jeremy Kyle show, but it didn’t seem appropriate.’ Trust Jez to try and find the funny side.

‘It’s not appropriate,’ Angel said grimly. ‘Even if it is true.’

She’d thought she would feel better after confiding in someone; instead she felt even more conflicted. And she was having to put on the appearance of a happy bride-to-be. Never more so than at Simone and Matthew’s engagement party. Angel had hoped that Ethan would cancel. Instead he seemed keen to go, said he wanted to socialise as they had hardly been out these past weeks. It was the very last event Angel wanted to go to.

Ethan caught up with her as she went through the clothes in her dressing room. ‘Why don’t you wear that white dress? It makes your figure look phenomenal,’ he suggested.

‘Oh, it’s at the cleaner’s, I was going to wear my black halterneck.’

Ethan shook his head. ‘You can’t wear black to someone’s engagement party. It seems like really bad taste.’

Well, the bride-to-be will be coming on her broomstick, Angel was tempted to reply, but instead she held up a Roland Mouret turquoise silk mini dress which Gemma had urged her to buy. It was off the shoulder and showed off her legs and back.

‘Perfect.’ Ethan gave her the thumbs up. ‘Though you’d look better naked.’ And he took her in his arms and kissed her. He checked his watch. ‘How about a quick one?’ And even though sex was the last thing on
Angel’s mind, she followed him into the bedroom. As long as she could keep him happy, then maybe she could be happy too.

‘So how long have you known Simone?’ Alisha asked Angel as they stood chatting at the engagement party, sipping from glasses of pink champagne.

‘Six or seven years, I think, but it’s kind of awkward as she was Cal’s girlfriend before me and Cal got together.’ Just mentioning his name caused Angel’s heart to race faster. She lowered her voice and checked that Simone was nowhere nearby before adding, ‘To be honest, we’re not friends at all – I don’t think she’s ever forgiven me for marrying Cal, and I think she’s still in love with him.’ As soon as she said it Angel thought how bitterly ironic it was that she should find herself in the same situation. They were both marrying other men to try and forget the love of their lives. Maybe she should feel more sympathy for Simone.

‘Wow, that’s some heavy shit! So you don’t think she’s madly in love with Matthew?’

Alisha and Angel looked across the room, to where Simone was clinging on to Matthew and sending him adoring gazes. She was wearing a stunning red asymmetric mini dress, which Angel was sure was by Valentino and which suddenly made her think of the dress which had been ripped up during the break in – something which had been pushed to the back of her mind with everything else that had been going on. Simone was obviously still working hard at Matthew’s re-style as he wearing a sharply tailored white suit and had had his hair cut and highlighted, but he still looked plain. As Angel’s dad was fond of saying, ‘You can put lipstick on a pig, but it will still be a pig.’

‘I think it’s unlikely, don’t you?’

At that moment Simone’s gaze fell upon Angel and
Alisha and she let go of Matthew and sashayed across the room towards them. Angel steeled herself for the inevitable air kisses and congratulations. Fortunately Alisha made up for Angel’s slightly lacklustre good wishes by exclaiming how beautiful Simone looked, and how exciting the news was. Angel listened to the two women talking wedding plans for a moment and then excused herself to go to the bathroom; there was only so much of Simone that she could take. As she walked across the marble hallway, her phone rang. Thinking it might be Lucy she took the call without checking the caller’s name. It was Cal. She was about to hang up but something stopped her. It was so good to hear his voice.

‘Finally you answer! I just wanted to see how you were.’ He hesitated. ‘And to see if you’ve changed your mind? I haven’t changed mine. I love you, Angel.’ It was so bitter-sweet hearing him say the words. Tears prickled Angel’s eyes as she managed to reply, ‘No, I haven’t changed my mind. I’m marrying Ethan in two weeks’ time. And I don’t suppose you have told Madeleine?’

‘If you marry Ethan, there’s no reason to upset her,’ Cal said flatly. ‘Please don’t marry him. Whatever reasons you’re doing it for are all the wrong ones. I love you, and I know you love me.’

Hearing him say those words was unbearably painful. ‘I’m marrying Ethan,’ Angel repeated. ‘Please understand that, Cal.’ She forced herself to end the call. It’s going to be all right, she tried to tell herself, brushing away the tears.

‘How is Cal?’ It was Simone. God, she had such an unpleasant knack of turning up when you least wanted her to. Angel swung round, hoping the emotion didn’t show on her face.

‘He’s fine, he was just calling about Honey.’

‘Oh.’ Simone looked as if she didn’t believe a word of this. She smoothed back her glossy blonde hair. ‘So how does he feel about being a father again?’

‘I don’t know; you’d have to ask him yourself.’

‘And is he going to marry Madeleine?’ Simone seemed determined to torment her.

Suddenly Angel snapped, ‘Why don’t you fucking ask him yourself if you’re so interested? And while you’re at it, you can tell him that you still love him and that you always have loved him and you always will and your wedding is just one fucking big charade! And that you don’t love Matthew. You’re marrying him for his money and because you can’t stand to be alone.’

Simone stared back at her. For a second the raw hurt showed on her face, then her expression hardened as she performed a slow hand clap. ‘Well done, Angel, you worked it all out. For your next trick you can admit that everything you just said about me goes for you as well. You’re still in love with Cal, you don’t fool me.’

Both women had been so caught up in their exchange that they had failed to notice Matthew walk into the hall. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked, a bemused expression on his boyish face. ‘I came to tell you we’re about to do the toast.’ God knows how much he had overheard.

Simone looked stricken. ‘It’s nothing, darling. Angel and I were just having a tiny disagreement, but it’s all cleared up now.’ She turned to Angel as if to appeal to her.

Part of Angel wanted to tear down the lies and tell Matthew the truth, but she couldn’t be that brutal. Instead she said, ‘Yeah, I’m sorry, Matthew, it was nothing.’ She forced herself to smile. ‘You know what brides-to-be can be like! A pair of Bridezillas! It’s just wedding nerves.’ God, she made herself want to be sick,
trotting out these lies. She really was no better than Simone.

‘I do love you, darling, don’t ever doubt it,’ Simone exclaimed, putting her arms round him. ‘Come on, let’s do the toast.’ Matthew still looked uncertain, but he let her kiss him.

They were about to return to the party when there was a knock at the door. Simone walked over and opened it. Angel was completely stunned when Benny Sullivan walked in. He kissed Simone in greeting and shook Matthew’s hand, then gave a sly smile as he noticed Angel.

‘I don’t imagine you expected to see me again, did you?’

Angel was pretty much speechless.

‘Benny’s representing Matthew and me,’ Simone said smoothly, having quickly recovered her composure. ‘We’re doing a two-part reality show about our wedding. I’m really surprised you didn’t want to film yours.’

This was too much for Angel. ‘I’m going to find Ethan,’ she replied, and practically ran from the hallway.

Ethan was in the middle of a game of pool with Logan and another couple of team mates when she tracked him down to Matthew’s vast games room. While Simone had stamped her style on the rest of the house – with chic furniture, huge black-and-white photographs of her and Matthew, and plenty of pictures of Simone on her own, looking sexy and air brushed – Matthew’s games room was clearly his sanctuary. It was designed to look like a bar, with dark green walls and subdued lighting; framed
Playboy
centrefolds hung on the walls, including Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ Ethan asked, seeing Angel walk in. He smiled warmly at her, and she felt even worse, because she knew that what Simone had said to her had been true.

‘Yeah, I just had a bit of an unpleasant surprise. I saw Benny Sullivan.’ Seeing Benny was the very least of her problems, but he was a good distraction to offer Ethan.

‘What the fuck’s he doing here?’

‘Apparently he’s now representing Matthew and Simone. They’re doing a reality show of their wedding.’

She expected Ethan to be shocked. Instead he simply shrugged and said, ‘Whatever. They’re welcome to him; it’s nothing to do with me. He was okay to you, wasn’t he?’

‘Yeah, slimey as ever.’ She paused. ‘I just wondered when we can leave?’

‘Not till after the toast, I guess.’