Parallel: The Secret Life of Jordan McKay (20 page)
Read Parallel: The Secret Life of Jordan McKay Online
Authors: Abra Ebner
“Really? So, you have changed.” I pointed at her with pride.
She shrugged. “I’ve had enough date rape drugs and guns for one year. The library is safe.”
“Good for you, Amy.” Jordan smiled, as though proud of himself for getting her to turn a new leaf.
She left then, and the room fell back to silence. Jordan stood and walked over to Amy’s bed, finally lying down to relax.
“So, where do you live?” I had never asked and I began to wonder.
I could hear him breathing as he looked up at the ceiling. “I have a house.”
“A house?”
He nodded. “Yeah, a house. Maybe I’ll take you there one day.”
“Soon?”
He traced his finger along a crack in the ceiling. “Sure, Kenzie, soon.”
I shook my head, thinking that each time he opened his mouth, something surprising came out. Though I felt as though I could love this man, did love him, this was the smart decision. With all his secrets, it did make me worry that there could be more, less savory ones, in the wings. I could tell that he was relieved he didn’t have to jump into anything serious. And after all he’d done for me, I could wait.
Statement from Dr. Ashcroft,
Vincent Memorial Hospital, Boston
August 4, 2009
04:26 a.m.
Agent Donnery:
So he listened to Molly, and you became friends, though it’s clear now that both of you really wanted more.
Dr. Ashcroft:
(pause) Sorry, I’m just surprised, but yes. And just as we thought, Molly was like him somehow.
Agent Donnery:
There are certainly more like Jordan. Hearing about Molly confirms that for us.
Dr. Ashcroft:
It seems your work is not yet over, Agent.
Agent Donnery:
So, tell me the truth (pause). You really never knew about any of this?
Dr. Ashcroft:
No, he never told me about Molly. I guess he didn’t want me to know about her. Perhaps he thought I’d be jealous, as I already was, because they seemed to have a connection that was stronger than ours, though I didn’t even know her. It was just something I sensed.
Agent Donnery:
Did you see her again?
Dr. Ashcroft:
No, I… no.
Agent Donnery:
Are you sure?
Dr. Ashcroft:
Yes, I’m sure. I’ve never seen her again.
Agent Donnery:
Okay then, I trust you.
Dr. Ashcroft:
(pause) I remember asking myself why he didn’t want to date me when it was so obvious we had chemistry.
Agent Donnery:
Again, he did it to save you.
Dr. Ashcroft:
I know that now, but at first I never understood. For years it was like that, and we remained friends. Eventually, though, we could no longer bear it.
Agent Donnery:
He was the one to make the next move, then?
Dr. Ashcroft:
Yes. Flipping through these papers, I see that for quite some time he just wrote about everyday life, nothing more than a journal. But here, this one, I remember this day.
Agent Donnery:
What day was that?
Dr. Ashcroft:
Graduation. Let me explain.
Told by Dr. Ashcroft,
Stories from the journals of Patient #32185
May 5, 2007
04:27 p.m.
“Jordan! We’re finally getting out of here. We’re finally free!” Kenzie jumped up and down in the hall.
I watched her, laughing. “Yes we are, Kenzie. Finally.” For her, it was just two years, but to me it had felt like decades.
We were in the living room of my house, though not the green house down the lane. After I told her that I had a house, I couldn’t bring myself to take her back there, to let her know that the person there had been me. Instead, I bought the quaint row house that I had owned in the other life, the house she had brought me to when she had found me on the bus. It seemed fitting.
She threw herself down on the couch opposite me in the living room, the space set up in the same fashion it had been in the past. It was a bit strange, but like it had been before, it was exactly the way I wanted it.
“Jordan there’s something about this place I love,” she sighed and smiled, her cap and gown still on her head in celebration.
I looked at her sideways, wondering if along with the dreams she had also developed a way to read my thoughts. “Really, why is that?” I prodded.
She sat up. “I never told you this because I figured you’d think I was crazy, but we’ve been friends for two years now, so I trust you.”
“You know I would never think you’re crazy.” I tilted my head. “Just tell me.”
“Well,” she paused and looked around. “I feel like I’ve dreamt about this place before, even before you ever brought me here.”
My heart rate picked up. We often talked about her dreaming, but this one was the first that really hit home for me. Often many of her dreams were snippets of her other life I had never even seen, but this dream was the one dream I dreaded most, the one dream that had started it all.
“It was night and I was on a bus where I found this injured man. He was lost and sick, and I think I brought him here,” she looked around. “Does this mean I’m psychic, you think?” She began to laugh.
I shrugged. “Perhaps it does.”
She stood then. “Yes, and you know me, I talk too much so I divulged my whole life to this vagrant, this man.” She walked around the coffee table and sat next to me.
“So, do you remember it as being a happy place? The town home, I mean,” I dove deeper still.
Kenzie nodded. “Yep, I do. I think about it every time I’m here. I think about the way it makes me feel, as though it was the beginning of something great.”
“And what about the man?” I cursed myself the moment the words left my lips. I had never indulged her constant referral to this man in her dreams. I didn’t want her to put the pieces together, though I feared she already thought it.
“He was tall and handsome, terribly injured, but I remember thinking about life with him and falling in love,” she laughed. “To tell you the truth, I actually think I had been married to Max in that life. I remember this horrible husband I had in the dream. It would make sense, wouldn’t it? If my dreams act as a place for me to store bad memories, then he would be there.”
I nodded. “It does make sense.”
She watched me, her green eyes locked on my face. I avoided making eye contact as I always did, knowing all she wanted was to corner me, fall in love with me.
“He reminds me of you a little,” her breathing was steady. “I never told you that, but you never asked, either.”
I nodded, feeling my stomach churn, not knowing what to say.
“Jordan,” she touched my arm.
I made the mistake of looking at her, her eyes catching mine. She smiled, her hair in knots where the graduation cap had been pinned down only to be torn from her head at the end of the ceremony.
“What now?” Her eyes looked lost.
“I suppose you go out and save lives,” I gave her an unassuming answer though I suspected her question was not about her career.
Her face was solemn, and I felt my heart continue to race though I couldn’t understand why. We had been friends for so long that I had grown comfortable with her, but right now felt awkward again, as though being with her like this was finally too much to handle. She began fussing with her graduation gown, finally lifting it over her head and tossing it on the ground.
She leaned back then and let out one deep breath, letting it pass her lips with a controlled elegance as though putting all her hard work behind her. My arms were tingling and I shifted in my seat. I had never seen her more beautiful than I had in this moment. For so many years I was used to seeing her live her life from an outside perspective, but for the last few, I had been invited in.
“Well, I guess it’s time I get a real job right?” I tried to break the silence.
She laughed. “Yeah, I suppose so.” She jumped suddenly. “Hey, you should take me to Kentucky once. I know you haven’t been in a long while, but it would be a good way to celebrate the fact that you’re putting all that behind you and moving on. Your last hurrah.”
I tilted my head. “Yeah? You’d want to go?” I had never asked her, thinking she wouldn’t care to watch horses fight their way around a track all in the name of money.
“Of course I would. Who do you think I am?” She gave me a playful slap on the arm, but I caught her hand before she was able to take it back.
She was giggling, so I gave her a yank and pulled her toward me. As her laughter finally faded, she looked me in the eyes, her breath falling across my face in warm, sweet waves. I took a few quick breaths as I tried to resist kissing her, but it did little to help as I felt my arms erupt with goose bumps, her scent surrounding me like a drug. I leaned toward her to test the water, pleased that she didn’t flinch or look away and change the subject, as we normally would. Her vivid eyes searched mine, as though she knew my secret and the raw reality of what I was. I mustered the courage as I ran my hand across her cheek and through her hair, resting it on the nape of her neck and lacing my fingers across her back. With a gentle force, I pulled her toward me, pressing my lips to hers in a way I had dreamt of for far too long. At first she seemed surprised by my forward behavior, politely resisting out of respect, but as I continued to coax her to give in, she finally leaned into the kiss, almost trapping me against the couch.
I ran my hand across her collarbone and down her arm as my lips curled around hers, her skin becoming warm. I opened my eyes and looked at her, suddenly feeling guilt wash over me as I realized my life was still a lie to her. I wrapped both hands around her shoulders, wanting so bad to feel the beauty of the moment, but my mind refused to give me peace. I cursed myself and pulled away, slinking out from under her and onto the floor where I took a deep breath.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” I propped myself up off the floor with my trembling arms.
She frowned. “Why are you sorry, Jordan? I liked it, I wanted it.” She looked down at me as I lay on the rug, my knees bent and my gaze resting on the floor in front of me.
“We shouldn’t, Kenzie. I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have.” In my head, I saw Molly and remembered what she said. Over the past couple years, I had manifested her advice into a sort of warning. I was worried about what she knew, worried that if Kenzie and I were together, something horrible was going to happen.
Kenzie grumbled and got up off the couch, her cheeks reddened. “I’m sick of this, Jordan. I don’t think I can be friends with you anymore because I love you. How about that?”
I blinked and sat up. “You do?”
She was pacing the room, her eyes wild. “Are you really that dense? I’ve loved you since the day I met you, but you seemed so alone and afraid then, and so I couldn’t force you into a relationship when you didn’t want one. But now I can’t bear it anymore.”
I stood. “I didn’t know it was that hard on you, Kenzie.”
She shook her head in annoyance and walked over to me with clenched fists. “Is that all you can say? I pour my heart out, and that’s it? Jordan, we can’t be friends anymore.” She was furious, and I knew there was little I could do to calm her down. She whisked her graduation gown off the floor and stormed to the kitchen, where she grabbed her bag.
“Kenzie, don’t go.” I took one step toward her.
She spun and looked at me with fury in her eyes. “Jordan, deal with it.”
She walked toward the door and grabbed the handle. I felt an intense need flood my body as I lunged forward, crossing the room in three strides and grabbing her arm as she opened the door. I twisted her to face me. “Kenzie, please.” I brought my hands to her face, cupping her cheeks. Her furious breath laced around my face and lips, fogging my thoughts as her hair fell between my fingers in fiery waves.
I could see her green eyes begin to well with tears as she tried to look away, but I forced her to accept the moment as I forced myself to be the man she needed.
“Kenzie, I love you.”
She began to cry, and I felt her entire body relax into mine. She put her head on my shoulder, locking her arms around my torso. After a moment, she stepped back but before she could speak, I kissed her again, but this time with more practice and more meaning. I felt her wrap her hands around my back and sides, a feeling I longed for but had quelled out of fear.
We fell against the door and it slammed shut. Kenzie pushed her hand against my chest, holding me at bay as she looked at me once more, testing me with her eyes. With soft but frantic hands, she then pulled my shirt over my head, jumping right in. Since the day she had seen my bruises, I hadn’t let her anywhere near me without a shirt on, but her touch now felt as so right, that I couldn’t imagine how I’d lasted this long. It was crazy to deny the feelings we had, and I was tired of waiting. She ran her hands across my chest and down my back, placing them where a faint bruise still remained.
“Jordan...” Her face became concerned and she knelt to look at it. She ran her hand across the shadowed bruise as I shied away from her touch. I swallowed hard, my heart racing. She looked up, but did not bother me with a question, her eyes understanding as though she knew the bruise was from something else, something beyond her comprehension.
