Parker's Island (32 page)

“I don’t know.  I think maybe I should give it
..
.
her
,
up for adoption.  I don’t think I could handle looking at her, knowing…”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Yes.  She’ll be better off.
  There are hundreds of couples that can give her a wonderful home
,
” I said, and then changed the subject.  “What would you like for dinner tonight?” I asked, s
uddenly realizing I was hungry…
again.

“Anything is fine.  We can go out, if you want.”

“No, I like cooking for you.  It makes me feel useful.”

“You are useful.  But, you only have one job, and that’s to rest and take care of yourself.”

“I am rested
.
I feel so much better.”

“You do look…
radiant
,
”
h
e said, stopping in front of me.

“How do you do that?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“Make my heart race like that.”

“I thought it was just mine,” h
e said, looking at me like he wanted to kiss me.  I wanted him to, desperately.  I knew it was wrong, so I started walking again.

“Delaney, you’ve been here a while now.  Don’t you think you should call your parents and Molly and tell them you’re
okay?
  I’m sure they’re all very worried
…
a
nd what about Brian?”

“I don’t know what I would say.  I’m supposed to be in Belize on a Mission.  How would I explain the
island
phone
number?
”

“You can use
a cell phone
,
a disposable one, and then they won’t know.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, but I think you should.
  I know you’ll feel better if you do.
”

“Can I ask you something?”
I said.

“Anything.”

“Something you said a few weeks ago keeps running through my mind.  You told me that you saw me and Brian on my porch.”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“A few weeks
before you showed up here.
”

It was him
.
I should have run after him, I thought to myself
.
“What were you doing there?”

“I wanted to see you.  I was coming to tell you that I was a fool
for sending you away
and to beg you to wait for me.”

“
I saw you from my bedroom window, b
ut you were talking to my neighbor and then
you just drove off
,”
I said, remembering how excited I was to see his car.

“
Your neighbor just asked about
my
car.  I didn’t know her. 
I saw you and Brian together.  You looked happy.  I didn’t want to ruin that for you.  I couldn’t ask you to give that happiness up just so you could wait around for me.
”
 

“You didn’t think I would?  I would have.  I would have waited forever.  I will wait forever. 
My heart dropped when you drove away.
I loved you
.  D
idn’t you know that?”

“Yes.  That’s why I came
back for you.  But it was
still
wrong
to ask you to wait
.”

“You saw through me
,
too.  I thought I was hiding it so well.”

“Hiding what?”

“How I felt about you.  I’m not surprised you could read my face so easily
.  O
bviously everyone else could
,
” I said
, remembering what Brian had told me
.

He smiled.

“What?” I asked.

“It wasn’t just your face that I read
,
”
h
e said, and pulled his wallet out
of
his back pocket.

“What do you mean?” 

He handed me a piece of paper that had obviously been folded and re-folded many times.  I unfolded the white notebook paper and took a deep breath.  I remembered it well:

Logan always turns his homework in on time.

Logan is the smartest guy I know.

Logan has a beautiful smile.

Logan has the most beautiful eyes and lips.

Logan is perfect.

Logan, I love you.

“
I wondered where that went. 
I told you I had a lot of nice things to say about you
,
”
I said, blushing.

“Don’t be embarrassed.  This
piece of paper has gotten me through a lot.  I read it all the time.  That’s one of the reasons I went back to get you. 
That wasn’t the first time I went back
for
you, but you were always with Brian.  I figured you’d moved on.  I almost begged you to come with me that last time
.
But,
when I saw you two…
kissing, I knew
I couldn’t stand in your way.  You looked so happy.”

“I was happy
;
as happy as I could be…without you.”

That night I made another one of Christine’s recipes.  It was Chicken Cordon Bleu.  It reminded me of my first dinner at Brian’s house.

“Dinner is wonderful.
What are you thinking about?”
Logan asked
, looking at me curiously
.

“When I showed up at your doorstep
,
I told myself that no matter what you asked me, I would answer you truthfully.
  I was so tired of lying to everyone.
”
             
“Thank you
…
”
h
e said, knowing this must be heading somewhere.

“I was thinking about Brian.  His mother served this the first night I had dinner with his family.”

“You miss him?”

“Yes, sometimes.  But
it’s
not just him
.
I miss Christine
,
too
.  S
he was so good to me.  I
crushed
Brian that day and I know that she’ll never forgive me for hurting her son.”
             
“She would if she knew the truth.  Delaney
,
this is not your fa
ult!  Chad’s the Bastard that…
”
             
“I know. 
I don’t want to talk about that
now
…or ever
. 
I told you that
I
wouldn’t lie to you
.  S
o will you tell me the truth about something?”

“I haven’t
ever
lied to you
,
Delaney
.”

“I know
that.
I didn’t mean to imply that you did
.  But you may not want to answer this,
and
I need to know.”

“I promise.”

“Did you…
fix Ch
…
his
transcripts and have
the
steroids planted in his locker?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for being honest.”

“I have something for you
,
”
h
e said, and left the room for a moment. 
When he returned a moment later, he said,
“I wasn’t sure how to give this to you without you finding out
that
I knew, so I just held on to it.”

He handed me a box, and when I opened it
,
I was thrilled. 
“Oh, thank you
,”
I said,
the
tears starting again.  He handed me the missing diamond earring that my parents had given me for graduation.

“How did you…
?”
             
“It doesn’t matter.  But let’s just say that Chad won’t be keeping mementos or bothering
anyone
,
ever again.”

“You confronted him?”
I asked
,
mortified.

“Do you really want to know?”
h
e asked, with a look that said
he was sure that
I didn’t.

“No
,
”
I suddenly felt a chill run down my back and I knew
then that
I didn’t want to be on the bad side of Logan Barnett.

“Good
.  T
hen how about I clean up the kitchen and you go call your parents
?
”
h
e said, and
then
handed me a disposable cell phone.

“You can be very persua
sive
.  D
o you know that?”
I asked, grinning up at him.

“Good, then promise me that you’ll never leave.  I don’t think I could take it!”

“I can’t make that promise
.  I
t’s not fair to you.”

“
It will all
work out
,
Delaney.
I promise you!  Now
,
go call your parents.”

I took a deep breath and dialed Molly’s number.  I figured I would start with her
first, working up the courage to talk to my parents
.

“Delaney? 
Are you okay?  Where are you?” s
he asked.

“I’m fine.  How are you?”
             
“I’m
fine.
Where are you, and
when
are you coming home?”
             
“I’m not coming home, not yet anyway and I can’t tell you where I am.”

“Why
not
?”
she asked. 

“Because
,
I don’t want
to have to lie anymore, and I don’t want
anyone to come after me.  I’m st
aying here for a while longer.
”

“Your parents have about driven me crazy!  They think that I know where you are.  I keep telling them
that
I don’t, but they don’t believe me.”

We talked for a while, both missing the other’s familiar banter.  I finally got the nerve to ask, “How is he?”

“He’s…
okay
,
”
s
he said, sounding funny.

“What does that mean?”
             
“What do you think it means?  He’s heartbroken and he’s devastated.  Is that what you wanted to hear?”
s
he asked, angrily.

“No, but I guess it
’s
what I expected.”
I was s
tung by her harshness.

“I’m sorry
,
Delaney, but you just left him.  He loves you so much.  How could you do that
to him
?”

“Molly, I can’t tell you everything right now, but you have to believe me when I say that it’s better for Brian this way.
  I hurt him, a lot!  I couldn’t keep hurting him and I couldn’t go on pretending that everything was okay.”

“I thought you loved him?  You to
ld me you did.”
             
“I did, I do…
but not enough.  It’s not fair to him.”
                                                                                                                                                                    

We talked for a few more minutes and I knew that it was time to face the music and call my parents.
  I said my goodbyes to Molly, promising her that I would explain what I could when I came home.

             
“Mom?” 
I
said when she answered
the phone
.

“Delaney?  Is that you?  Oh
,
thank Heavens
,
” I heard her yell for my dad to pick up the extension.

“Delaney
,
where are you?”
m
y dad asked.