Part of Me (11 page)

“Yes,” was her reply. “It’s inevitable. Whether it was someone I knew or was related to or someone you knew or were related to. There are always those that want more, that are guided by greed and opportunity. There’s nothing any of us can do to stop that.”

This was her defense, the one she’d practiced over the years. It was a casual indifference to what was going on in our world, a resolute demeanor that didn’t land her on either side of the cause. I was used to it and normally ignored it, but this time, I was afraid that maybe it was time for Lidia to chose a side.

We ate in silence and I cleaned up the dishes since she’d prepared the food. Of course she hadn’t stayed in the kitchen with me so I’d had to go and find her when I was finished. She was lying on her side in the center of the king-sized bed in the same room where she’d slept the day away—the only room that wasn’t being torn apart by renovations.

I’d been in those rooms earlier, had spoken to who I assumed was the foreman of the crew. He’d backed up Aidan’s contention that they had no intention of contacting Jace’s assistant. The fact that I said I knew Jace and that he’d supposedly given me permission to stay here had seemed like
enough for the man and a few hours after our meeting, he and his crew had packed up to leave for the day.

Hours had passed since then and now I stood in this doorway once again, staring at the girl I’d grown up with, that I knew so much about and yet felt so mentally far away from. I hated the disconnect I’d been feeling with Lidia, and I wanted it to stop right now.

After taking off my boots I climbed onto the bed slowly, so as not to wake her. I scooted over on my side until the warmth of her body greeted mine. With one arm on the pillows above her head, I wrapped the other around her waist, pulling her even closer. Inhaling deeply, the fresh scent of her hair tickled my nose and I smiled. For what seemed like forever, I lay there, in the quiet, holding her against me, listening to the steady sound of her breathing and the distant sounds of the tide crashing against the sand.

“It’s not the same,” she said softly.

So softly I might not have heard her if I weren’t still wide awake and my senses so in tune to her.

“I know we’re not the same as we were before, Brayden,” she continued. “I thought I could ignore it, or push it aside, or something. But I realize now it’s not working.”

She took a deep breath, let it out slowly.

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing,” I confessed. She sounded like she was admitting to a murder as opposed to accepting our new relationship and I didn’t like that at all.

“It’s different, Bray, you have to admit that. Since I was eleven years old you’ve been one of the first people I’ve seen each morning and one of the last I see at night. You’ve listened to me bitch about one thing after another and taught me how to swim and climb trees.”

I kissed the top of her head. “You taught me how to play poker and how to shoot an arrow.”

“You were there the night I lost my virginity to Frankie Morrison.”

I swallowed hard, trying desperately not to picture that night. That had been the moment I knew Lidia Morales was meant for me and me only.

“I wanted to break his legs,” I admitted.

She chuckled. “By the next morning, so did I.”

Silence fell again.

“I wish I could have it all,” she whispered.

I moved then, turning Lidia until she lay on her back and I could look down into her face. I cupped her chin, holding her face so she couldn’t look away. “I only wish I could have you.”

Lidia closed her eyes, her lips slightly parted as she breathed. I leaned in and kissed her, touching my lips to hers
lightly at first, until I could hear not only the wild thumping of my heart, but the matching beat of hers. I wouldn’t touch her but for her lips, instead giving her the chance to decide, to stay or to leave.

Not on board with the patience game plan, my tongue snaked out, licking along the line of her lips, touching the soft wet inside in one heated stroke. She gasped then, her tongue seeking mine, her arms lifting to lace around my neck. At that point slow was no longer an option as the cat inside me roared to life, ready and more than willing to stake its claim.

My hands slipped around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I loved the feel of her tight body in my hands, the way she eagerly wrapped her long limbs around me. Rolling over, she now lay on top of me, her fingers scraping through my hair. I cupped her ass, pressing her core into my erection, desperate to get inside her, finally.

Her hair curtained our faces as she pulled back slightly from the kiss.

“I still can’t believe it,” she whispered. “My best friend is also my …”

She paused as if she couldn’t finish the sentence so I finished it for her, taking her lips once again, thrusting my tongue deep inside her mouth as my hands went beneath the rim of
the shorts she wore, loving the feel of her pliant cheeks against my skin.

I was drowning in her, in the kiss that was fiery hot and the feel of her on top of me, which was the answer to all my dreams. When her hands moved between our bodies to unsnap my jeans I sucked in a breath.

Lidia moved, pulling back so that she could release my erection. Her hands on my length were so damned hot, and sent spikes of pleasure soaring through my body. Her fingers didn’t shake as she gripped me, but moved softly up and down my sensitive skin. The realization that she may have done this before to someone else flashed through my mind. I clenched my teeth with the thought and whispered her name to keep myself focused.

She was here with me, where she belonged. After today she’d never touch another man, never think of another, not if I had anything to say about it.

“Your hands feel so good,” I told her, meaning every word.

“I thought about you,” she said as she stared down at my length and her hand, the blend of her lighter-toned skin against mine.

“I couldn’t think of anything but you,” I admitted.

“Even when you were with Kyra
?”

If the thought of her with another dude rubbed me the wrong way, her mentioning Kyra—the chick that just set me up and jumped out of my living room window to her death—was like a splash of cold water in an otherwise heated moment.

“None of them, no other female, has ever compared to you,” I told her honestly. “They’ve always been substitutions and after them I wanted you even more.”

She paused, looking at me like she wasn’t sure how to take that. I didn’t want to give her too much time to think on it, so I reached up, grabbing the hem of her T-shirt, and pulling it over her head. Her braless breasts bobbed as she lifted her arms then let them fall at her sides. High up on her chest with pert, perfect fuckin’ nipples, I couldn’t resist, I sat up taking one in my mouth, palming the other.

Lidia, bless her everlasting shifter heart, arched her back, thrusting those pretty-ass tits right in my face and my dick grew rock hard. The talking stopped at that point, not just because my mouth was otherwise occupied, but because I was ready to be inside her.

Clothes came off then, flying in multiple directions throughout this room that didn’t even belong to us. When we were both finally naked Lidia moved to lie on her back.

“Uh-uh, I want you right here where I can watch you,” I told her, pulling her so that she straddled me once more.

She came willingly, lifting her hips until she was angled directly above my dick that couldn’t keep still for wanting her so desperately. My hands on her hips, I lowered her slowly until warmth engulfed my tip.

“Brayden,” she whispered my name.

I looked into her eyes and knew the question we both already knew the answer to. The fact that she was about to ask it made me feel a lot better because it meant she’d been sure to say this to her previous lovers, sure to act as human as she possibly could while within their world.

“Sexually transmitted diseases are not something shifters have to worry about,” I reminded her.

She nodded and jerked her hips back a fraction, releasing the slight touch of my erection to my displeasure.

“Right,” she said. “You’re absolutely right.”

Lidia moved her hips again, slamming herself down onto my length in one quick motion. I couldn’t help it, I gasped, the rush of pleasure shooting from my groin to my toes was intense and for a second I thought I might actually black out.

Then she began to move and I moved with her until we were both lost, until there was nothing but our bodies, our connection, the two of us.

I dreamed of Brayden’s lips on mine, his hands on my body, his delicious length inside me. I relived the scent of his arousal, the scent of my own, and the combination that signaled our
companheiro
calor
. I sank slowly but surely into that space, the one where I was his and he was mine and I enjoyed it. I had everything—my
companheiro,
my education, the future of becoming a teacher and touching many lives. I had it all.

And then he appeared.

Right there in the center of having it all, he walked into the scene as if I’d invited him, or at the very least left the door open for his entrance. I should have known he would come, should have suspected that happiness was too good to be true.

His hair was long, twisted in dreads hanging down his back, draped over both his shoulders. His pants were loose fitting
over muscled thighs, his arms and chest bare but for the dark-colored vest he wore. His boots crunched against the ground that had turned from city concrete to jungle grass and vine. His eyes glittered as they met mine, a slow smile forming on his dark-skinned face.

It was my uncle, Sabar, and he was here for me.

“You know what I want,” he said when he was close enough for me to hear.

I looked for Brayden, looked for the person that had been closest to me all my life, the one who had been there when I’d had the first nightmare about my family. He’d held me then, telling me that I wasn’t like them, making me feel like there was something else, something bigger and better that I could be a part of instead. Now he was gone.

“They cannot help protect you now that you have grown up and are able to choose for yourself,” Sabar continued, the heavy accent of his voice almost distorting the words.

“You will come with me because you know it is where you belong, Lidia. You know this is what you want,” he insisted.

I took a step back, my booted feet moving over asphalt. I looked down then because I almost tripped over the sidewalk. But he reached out to me then and grabbed me, kept me from falling.

“You do not want to be a part of the Shadow Shifters, you want to be free. I can smell it in your blood, see it in your
cat’s eyes. You want to be free like me and like all the others I have rescued.”

His arms were strong around me, holding me still, keeping me from running if that was my plan. But I wasn’t afraid, I hadn’t decided that running would be the answer. And he didn’t look like he was going to give me time to make that decision.

Behind him the trees shifted, bending with the wind as a helicopter approached. Leaves flew through the air, vines and other debris slapping painfully against my face.

“Come with me, I will let you be free!” Sabar yelled over the roar of the helicopter.

I opened my mouth to speak but something flew inside, choking me. I coughed and tried to dislodge it from my throat until tears pricked my eyes, but it didn’t budge. Sabar laughed then, still holding me in his arms and staring right into my eyes. “You can only be free with me, Lidia. You can only be who you want to be with me!”

I coughed more, choked until my throat felt raw, cried because the pain in my chest was hot and throbbing. And then I woke up.

And Brayden’s arms were already wrapped around me. I was sitting in his lap and he was rocking me back and forth, whispering into my ear.

“I got you, baby. You’re safe right here with me.” He kissed my ear, my cheek, and continued to rock. “I won’t let Sabar touch you, not ever, baby. Stay with me, Lidia, my
companheiro,
stay with me.”

He knew what I’d dreamed, knew the fear that pulsed in my blood with every breath I took. Nobody else knew that but Brayden.

I buried my head in his bare chest, let the warmth of his arms encircle me, cocoon me. This was what was missing with Daniel and with any other guy I’d been with. I never truly felt safe, like all my faults and some that weren’t even mine, were completely accepted and understood. There was no comfort in that I could be myself totally and not have someone looking at me like I really didn’t belong. For as much as I wanted to blend in with the humans, to take a step away from the tribe that had somewhat embraced me and simultaneously turned their back on me, I would never be a real human.

Brayden knew that and had tried to tell me so.

“I am not like him,” I whispered against his chest, my palms loving the feel of his bare skin beneath them. “I don’t want the freedom he offers.”

I could admit that to Brayden because I knew he believed me without any doubts at all.

“You are not like him at all. In fact,” Brayden said, brushing hair out of my face. “You’re much stronger than he is. You’re a fantastic fighter and you’re smart, you know things about the human race that Sabar will never allow himself to see. He can’t touch you as long as you don’t allow it.”

I nodded, knowing Brayden’s words to be true and loving him more now in this moment for saying them.

“I dreamed of him every night this summer. I’d wake up sweating and breathing like I’d just run a marathon because I’d been trying to get away from him,” I admitted.

“And I wasn’t there,” Brayden replied. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

I shook my head. “You used to call me at night to wake me up and you’d tell me it was alright to go back to sleep because I was on the right side and I wasn’t like Sabar. You didn’t even call.”

“No,” he admitted. “I didn’t.”

There was silence and I knew I’d made Brayden feel bad even though that hadn’t been my intention. By mid-July I’d all but stopped cursing him for not being my crutch. I still missed him and the comfort terribly, but I’d figured eventually he’d move on and so would I. But was that what I really wanted?