Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) (14 page)

I hear giggling behind
my
closed door and I want to puke. Violet rolls her eyes and turns up the volume on the TV. I knew Paxton was going to screw that girl last night, but I figured he’d take her back to her place.

When I walked into that bar with Violet, the one that Paxton invited us to, my only intention was to try and talk to him and work things out. I didn’t tell Violet w
hat he had said to me because she’s his friend before she’s mine and I don’t want to put her in the middle of us. I just sat, thinking my confusing thoughts alongside her for a couple of hours as she worked.

After what Emily said to me I started thinki
ng about us; me and Pax. She may have been right - that’s what I was beginning to think. And if she was, I was prepared to work things out with him. If what he wanted was me, and whether he wanted part of me, or all of me, I was prepared to sit down and talk to him and figure it out because the only thing I knew was that I couldn’t lose Paxton and I would do anything to hold onto him.

But as we
walked into that bar and I saw him – making out with some chick, his hands all over her ass, his face mauling hers- I knew Emily’s words were all wrong. It made me nauseous. But I’m not a jealous bitch and I wasn’t going to start looking like one because I was pissed at his hypocritical ass. I managed to ignore them most of the night, even when they left together.

What I should have done was take home a guy and
finally get a decent make out session in, but I wasn’t in the right headspace last night. All I wanted to do was get home and enjoy a night in my bed, alone, without Paxton’s drama. But as we walked through the door it was clear that wasn’t happening. A trail of clothes led from the front door right to my room.

I went to bed in Violet
’s room but I didn’t get much sleep. I just kept bracing for the sounds of sex that I was sure were going to come from my room. All I could do was hope Paxton got it on in the flower bed and didn’t end up tainting both of them.

We were spared from the evening activities
but Violet and I just got done trying to drown out the obnoxious sounds of the girl moaning and screaming. Vi’s been giving me a play by play of her former experiences with her over-sexed ex-roommate. She’s pretty sure they’re going to go one more round so when I hear the door open I let out a breath of relief.

I can’t help but turn and look
as Paxton strolls out in a pair of sweatpants – the good kind that hang low on his hips, revealing the indents around his pelvic bone, which I can see since he’s not wearing a shirt. His hair is a mess from his morning activities, and his lips are redder and puffier than normal. He winks at me, like the asshole he is, right before the blonde from the bar comes walking out behind him. Thank God someone retrieved her clothes in the middle of the night, not that they cover her up very well, but I’m not interested in seeing vagina.

The girl ma
kes the walk of shame past Vi and me but doesn’t seemed ashamed. “This is where it starts to get entertaining,” Vi tells me, leaning into my ear, staring at Paxton and Sadie with anticipation. Paxton’s got her at the door now, opened it up for her and everything. She stops and wraps a hand around his naked stomach and uses the other one to pull her phone out of her purse. “Here it goes,” Vi whispers.

“Give me your number, I’ll call you later and we can do it again.”

“No thanks,” he tells her, flatly.

She p
auses and turns her eyes to him, which I can’t see, but I’m sure are filled with shock or anger. “What?”

“It was fun, doll, maybe we’ll do it
again if I happen to run into you and I’m plastered enough, but I don’t want you calling me.”

She shoves her phone in her purse and then uses the same hand to try and smack him. Paxton
moves his head back and her hand smashes into the door. She raises it again- looks like it’s in a fist this time. Paxton grabs it and uses it to pull her out the door. You can still hear her long string of obscenities after Paxton is safely back in the apartment and has the door shut and locked behind him.

“Don’t
you have a reputation by now? I mean, is there a girl in this city who doesn’t have a friend who has already been fucked and forgotten by you?” Vi asks him through her laughter.

“She’s
livin in the ‘burbs,” he says casually, walking across the room and collapsing next to me, flinging his arm around my shoulder.

“Ugh, get your stinky
hand off me. It smells like fifth degree yeast infection.”

He laughs but
doesn’t remove it. “Like I touched her.”

“What the hell does that mean? You didn’t get her off?”

“Yeah, I got her off. I don’t need my fingers to make that happen.”

“I heard th
e moaning. It was really good, but not real. Girls don’t get off by having a guy inside of them. Don’t you know that?”

“Ah, Jess. That’s so sad. You’ve never been fucked properly. I mean, I knew Dylan
wasn’t capable, but there had to be someone, right? River Bluff was teaming with well-endowed studs, right?”

“S
ize has nothing to do with it.”

“She’s right,” Vi says.

“Size does matter but you also have to know what you’re doing. I’ll show you if you want me too.”

“Yes, plea
se Paxton. I’m dying to have an STD- they seem so awesome.”

“You need to get schooled. There are three things I have in
abundance – a big dick, the skills to use it, and a value sized box of XL condoms.”

I’ve felt the size of the penis pushing into my back
and I’ve also seen the box of condoms in his duffle and, truth be told, the way he made that girl scream didn’t actually sound fake to me so I don’t really have a good retort.

“Y
our head is so big I might have to kick you out of here,” Vi says. “There’s not room for all of us in this apartment.”

“It’s the
truth, babe,” he tells her, removing his arm from my shoulder and slapping me on my bare thigh before standing and heading to the shower.

“Gross,” I mutter to myself, but what I’m thinking about
are his words and if it’s really possible for him to give a girl an orgasm with nothing but his penis. I lose myself in the thought for a few minutes until Vi lets out a long sigh.

“At least he got his poison out – he seems like he’s in a better mood today.”

“Yea
h, as long as Paxton’s happy, who gives a shit that I have to do laundry to remove the crabs from
my
room.”

Vi laughs, but really it’s not that funny. “I’ll help you,” she says
, standing and pulling me off the couch.

When we walk into the room I’m relieved to see that the sunny side of the room is the one that
looks like a pair of wolves were living there. “God damn it,” Violet mutters, going to the bedside table where all of her props are scattered on the floor and her lamp is shattered. “What the hell goes on in here? Those hos are always breaking my lamps. Ugh, he’s lucky I charge him so much to live here.”

“I’ll go get a garbage
bag and the vacuum,” I tell her before heading out into the kitchen. He really is an asshole.

I scrounge around the cabinets until I find the garbage bags and also the Lysol and paper towels. I tuck it all under my arm before going to the hall closet and grabbing the vacuum. I run into Paxton, all fresh and clean form his shower, in the hall way.

“Is it cleaning day?” he asks me.

“Yes.
Specifically it’s disinfecting, replacing a lamp for you dear friend Violet, and laundry day,” I tell him, handing my supplies over.

He takes them and tells me, “Now that I got a woman living in my room I have to keep it all neat and tidy, huh?”

“No, Paxton. Just free of bodily fluids and small creatures that live in the pubic hairs of girls that go home with strangers.
Whores
I believe is the word you use to describe girls like me and Sadie,” I tell him, laughing because the look on his face is priceless. He doesn’t mind inserting himself into a girl like her but the very possible fact that she might be infected has him looking like he’s going to hurl.

“I told you I was sorry, kid. I didn’t mean that shit I said to you.”

“I’m just fucking with you, Pax. You don’t have to get all melodramatic. But you do have to go help Vi. I suggest you find the dirty XL condoms before she does. She’s not happy about her lamp.”

His jaw goes tense and his nostrils flare, but then he heads into the room.

Vi immediately jumps into her rant while Paxton and I start picking up pieces of glass and throwing them into the trash bag. “Was this your fault or Sadie’s?” I ask him about the lamp.

“Can you please stop talking about her,” he mutters.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest your girl was a spaz, I was just curious. I didn’t peg her as the dramatic type… she seemed so sweet and innocent at the bar last night,” I prod him because it’s clear I’m getting on his nerves.

“I undo the meekest of them. What can I
say?”

“You can say that next time you’ll take your circus act to the chick’s place. Vi and I shouldn’t have to be
cleaning up after you and Sadie,” I tell him, standing to help Vi strip the bed.

When I turn around, Paxton is staring at me like he’s confused. “What? Do yo
u like to keep the sheets dirty as a souvenir?”

His expression becomes hard before it becomes
cocky. “You girls have fun. I’m gonna get out of here for a while,” he says, turning for the door.

“You’re such an
asshole, Paxton,” Vi calls after him.

He lifts his hand like he’s waving her off.
All I can do is laugh. Who the hell is this kid?

I took a walk after the girls and I cleaned up after that chick to try and clear my head. I thought I knew Jessa. I thought that we were in agreement about the fact that we wanted each other, but hell, she’s killing me.

Last night was a
disaster. That girl,
Sadie
, as Jessa insists on referring to her every five seconds, was a sloppy mess. We stayed at that bar until it was clear that Jessa wasn’t going to give a second of her time to any of the many men who hit on her last night. That right there threw me. No one was stopping her, she could have done whatever the hell she wanted, but she didn’t do anything… outside of kissing me with her sweet, fat lips. Maybe she wasn’t in the mood – which seemed unlikely since she made it blatantly obvious how much she needed some action. It could have been that Billy was right – she saw me with a girl and her focus shifted to us. That seemed unlikely too since all of my flaunting had little effect on her.

I decided to push the jealously theory all the way though. I didn’t want to have to go through this bullshit again with some different chick, so I brought the blonde home. She had her clothes peeled off before we even got to mine and Jessa
’s bedroom. She was sloppy drunk, knocked all the shit off Vi’s table before laying down, spread eagle, in the bed. I had no intention of doing anything with the girl, knowing that Jessa was not there to react. She threw a hissy fit but I wasn’t really that worried about her needs. I woke up in the middle of the night, collecting the girl’s clothes from the living room and checking to see that Jessa’s boots were by the door, but not some man’s. I went back to bed thinking that that had to have affected her – coming home and knowing that I was in our room with another chick.

When I woke up again, it was from a dream about Jessa and to a hand wrapped around my cock.
When I opened my eyes and saw who I was with I closed them again. Sadie tried her damndest, but I couldn’t pull anything off with her. When she mounted me and started dry humping me over my underwear I let her do her thing, listening to her obnoxious screams and moans. She got herself off then snuggled into me, satisfied. I, obviously, got her the hell out of there immediately.

I had done ev
erything in my power to make Jessa see that if she wasn’t going to be mine then someone else would but none of that shit mattered because Jessa was her same smartass, playful, unaffected self all morning. Even helped clean up the mess from the night before.

I just keep thinking how I would have reacted if the tables were turned. I would have gone ballistic. I
sure as shit wouldn’t have been capable of holding a normal conversation with the girl. I wouldn’t have even been able to look at the bed, much less strip the sheets off and wash them.

The only time I even heard a crack in her voice was when I told her that I didn’t need to touch a
girl’s clit to get her off. Her voice, when she told me that wasn’t possible, was strained. The idea that she has never come from the inside is fucking great.

Maybe she doesn’t want me, but maybe she wants what I can do for her enough to stop trying to get it from someone else. She
doesn’t believe me though, so maybe I’ll just have to show her.

When I get back to the apartment, Vi is gone and I hear the shower
running. I go to our bed and wait patiently for Jessa.

She comes walking into the room with
her long, wet hair and her tiny, short robe and I can see the heat coming off her skin, I can feel it. “Come here, Jess,” I tell her.

“Jesus, you scared me. I thought you left,”
she says, going to her closet.

“Don’t get dressed, beso. Come here.”

She turns from her closet and comes to me. “What’s up, Pax?” she asks like she already knows and isn’t gonna play my game.

I sit up and grab her hand, pulling
her so she’s against the pillows, one leg touching the ground, one folded on the bed.

“W
hat are you doing, Pax?” she asks quietly when both of my hands grab both of her hot, damp thighs.

“I just wanted to clear something up,” I tell her as my thumbs str
oke her inner thighs. Her face becomes tense and I know she’s going to try and fight me on this.

“What?
” she says. Her voice is breathy and it makes me hard as metal.

“When I told you that I only make girls come with my dick, that was true.” My hands are clamped now, around her pelvic bone. “But I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea. If what you prefer is a
guy’s mouth or hands on you, I can do that too.” I keep my eyes locked on her. She stares right back at me.

“Most guys can,” she tells me.

I nod, and let my thumbs stroke the soft, bare skin around her opening. “They rub or lick your clit. It’s easy. It’s the only way you’ve ever got off.”

She raises her eyebrows at me as if to say,
no shit, what other way is there
. “There are other ways, Jess,” I answer her unspoken question.

“It’s easy to make a guy believe that, but I’m sorry
to tell you – there are not.”

I stare at her hard before letting my thumbs sink inside of her and god, is she wet.
And not from the shower, but sticky and hot. Jessa doesn’t flinch when my thumbs are inside of her. She’s staying cool and keeping eye contact. She wraps her hands around my wrists and tries to push me away, but I don’t let her. “Seriously, Pax. What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m being a good friend. I’m going to open your eyes up to new possibilities.”

She flares her nostrils, but relaxes her grip on me.

I press both thumbs into her soft flesh and stroke her. I watch her face closely. She’s trying hard to be right, she’s trying hard to prove me wrong. But when her expression shifts slightly I know she’s going down. I know I’ve found the spot and I’m going to make her come.
From the inside
. I rub her deep and hard and watch her fight to stay in control of her body.

“Come on Jessa, don’t be stubborn,” I t
ell her with a grin, while going in deeper, feeling her get wetter, her muscles starting to slowly clamp down on my thumbs.

She
doesn’t grin back though. Her breaths are unsteady and her shoulders move with the effort. But she just stares at me with her cool blue eyes that are becoming heavy lidded.
Jesus
. “Stop, Pax,” she tells me, but her tone tells me she doesn’t really want me to do that. And I know, from her body’s reaction, that she’s already starting her incline towards climax and considering how hard up she is, there is no way she’s gonna stop me now.

“I’ll stop after you come.”
I stroke her harder and longer and her mouth pops open but she doesn’t cry out or moan. “Come for me Jess. You know you want to.”

Her hands leave mine and she fists the blanket. H
er nostrils flair again, but not from anger but from the pain that comes before the release.

I rub her o
ut for another minute; feeling her muscles tense up and listening to her labored breaths. Staring at her cool blue eyes that are fighting so damn hard to stay in control.

And then I feel it. Her muscles contract
hard and quick under my touch and a flow of warm liquid douses the base of my thumbs.

But Jessa just stares at me, breathing heavy but giving nothing away.

My thumbs slow and when I feel the contractions stop completely I pull out of her.

I stare at her eyes and then
taste my thumb. “There’s nothing gross about it, kid. You’re salty and you’re sticky and you taste fucking good.”

Her eyes widen but she remains wordless.

I smile at her, then I get up and leave the room.

I probably shouldn’t have done that but I’m glad I did. I’ve been wanting inside that girl from the minute I saw her. My dick is achi
ng with jealousy but I can taste her in my mouth and I know it was worth it. That line I gave her about not touching random skanks was true. I don’t do that, I also don’t put my mouth on them. I haven’t tasted a girl in over a year and Jessa tastes better than anything I’ve ever had before.

I’m at the sink, filling a glass of water when she comes storming out of our room
, her mismatched clothes obviously thrown on in a hurry. Her impenetrable face is now filled with rage. “You are such a motherfucker,” she tells me.

I give her a twisted grin. “I told you,” I tell her.

“That’s great, Paxton. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“If
you’re in the market for a fuck buddy… I don’t think I’m your man.” Her expression turns from rage to fury. I’m not trying to piss the girl off but I know that I’m not gonna start sleeping with her. At least not yet because I won’t be able to do that with detachment per her requirements.

“Great. I’ll
start auditioning potential partners after my lit. class so if you don’t mind, clear out of our room for the afternoon.” She turns and starts walking towards the door so I go after her. I’m not gonna fuck her, but I don’t want anyone else to do it either. I grab a hold of her arm and don’t let go when she tries to yank it out of my grasp. “Let go of me, Paxton.”

“Calm the hell down,” I tell
her. “I’m not having sex with you, but if you want someone to get you off thoroughly, I can do that.”

She stops
fighting and looks at me severely. “Thanks, Pax, but I don’t play games and you are nothing but a player.”

I let her arm go and she storms out the door. I laugh to myself. I’m done watching her screw around with other guys and she’s done with it to,
whether she realizes it or not.