Passion And Fire (Passion #4) (39 page)

Slowly I stepped forward, one tentative step at a time, one hand lifting to reach out to him. I was beginning to think he’d never become aware of my presence, that the pain inside him was deafening him to my approach. Then finally, finally his head lifted and his gaze shot to mine.

Hastily he wiped at his eyes again and I saw him tense up, a mask of indifference coming down over his face. If that had been the only expression I’d seen, I’d have given up. I would have accepted that I’d destroyed any love he had for me but I’d seen him, that unguarded moment when he didn’t know I was there.  

I stood for a moment, our eyes locked. He was not going to make this easy for me and I realised he’d been acting like a man who didn’t give a shit in an effort to hide that he really did care. I could wait for him or I could pull up my big girl panties and go to him. I could reveal my hand this time; I could be the one sticking my neck out and hope he didn’t bite my head off.

Bracing myself for his possible rejection I walked the last few steps until I stood before him. I raised my eyes to his and through the bravado and the mask of indifference; I saw it, that hint of pain that shadowed those gorgeous green irises.

We stared at one another, neither speaking, our eyes mirroring those emotions that stirred inside us. I was petrified, a vampire who was terrified. Something told me there was something wrong with that picture, but I didn’t feel vampire, I’d never felt vampire really except for when I fed. Right now I was just a scared insecure woman who’d lived with pain, rejection and abandonment. I’d protected my heart to avoid ever having to endure more pain, to avoid that feeling when losing someone I loved. Now facing Damien about to expose my heart to him, I was scared, so scared he’d reject me. I’m sure if my heart could beat it would be hammering frantically in my chest.

Damien’s expression changed, a questioning look appearing in his eyes. Not breaking contact with his gaze, I reached up and cupped his cheek, feeling the abrasiveness of his permanent five o’clock shadow.

“What do you want Flame? Why are you here and not fucking your little friend?” His eyes lifted from mine to look towards the club.

“I don’t want him Damien. I…I…I had to see you. Oh god…” I broke off, an unexpected sob breaking free of my lips.

That drew his eyes back to me again. “What do you want? Are you going to bully me and abuse me into fucking you again? Is that it? Are you feeling the need for some rough fucking again? Do you want my brother joining in again?”

I stared into his eyes, listening to his words and I knew I had to say something, anything that would make him stop with the outpouring of words that hurt me to hear; not because what he was saying was hurtful to me necessarily, but because I could hear the pain in his voice. He was trying hard to mask it with sarcasm but I could hear it and see it on his face.

I didn’t answer him; I simply reached up and gently placed my lips on his. He didn’t respond, instead he froze, not moving, his body rigid against mine. I put my hands on his hard chest, feeling the solid muscles under my palms and I deepened the kiss, pressing my lips more firmly against his. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and he opened for me, but still stood there, not making any effort to respond.  I kissed him, pouring all my love into it, my lips moving softly on his, my tongue sweeping over his, but still, he made no effort to respond. His arms hung limply by his sides, and the longer I kissed him, the longer he remained unresponsive, the more I panicked. It was too late; I wasn’t getting through to him.

I was just about to pull back and contemplate another attack on his mouth when I felt the tiniest response from him. It wasn’t much, merely a softening of his lips and body, but it was something, it gave me hope. I moved my hands up over his shoulders and into the hair at the back of his neck. With my fingers buried in the silky strands, I pulled him closer and finally his lips relaxed and slowly, almost tentatively he began to respond to me.

I felt his hands slide down my back and cup my ass, pulling me into him, where I could feel the hardening ridge in his jeans. Well, if nothing else, I could still arouse him. I wanted him, I felt hot and hungry for him but I had to stop this, I had to stop him distracting me. With a groan I pulled out of his arms and watched as the wary look came down over his face again. In an effort to reassure him, I took his hand in mine and kissed the palm before trailing tiny kisses over his long slim fingers. Again I raised my eyes to his and this time there was confusion mixed in with the wariness and desire in his expression.

It was time, it was definitely time to reveal my heart to him and hope he didn’t throw it back at me, although I deserved it, if he did.

“I’m so sorry Damien. I’m sorry I have been so horrible. I’m sorry I have been so angry and hateful to you because you turned me. I don’t hate you; I don’t even hate being vampire if I’m honest. It’s not proving as hard as I thought to control my urges and Fabian thinks I’ll be ready to go back to work soon. That’s not what I wanted to say to you though.” I raised his hand to my lips again and kept my eyes downcast, suddenly too scared to look up at him.

“I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been treating you, for the abuse, the need for you to act out of character and hurt me and I’m so sorry for Adrian.” I paused again, needing to think before I spoke. “I blame myself for the accident. I distracted you; it was me, with my threat to use telekinesis on you. I put you in an awful position when I begged you not to turn me and for that, I’m sorry. I would have done the same. I know it’s probably too late. I’ve treated you badly and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I certainly don’t deserve your love after throwing it back at you. It’s no excuse, I know, but I’m so scared of being hurt, of loving someone and them not loving me, of them eventually leaving me. I’m sorry for being so horrible. I’m so unworthy of you, I know that.” Again I paused, meeting his eyes.

“I…I love you Damien. I love you.” The second time was easier to say. “I hope you can forgive me but I understand I’ve probably treated you too badly for you to ever love me again. Just, if nothing else, try to forgive me, please. I’m so sorry.” My words fading to barely a whisper, my eyes burning with the tears that wanted to fall, but I fought to keep them back.

I fell silent, searching his face for something, some hint, some tiny glimmer to give me hope, but he said nothing and showed no expression as he stared down at me.

The silence stretched on and I began to lose hope. He was not going to forgive me and he sure as hell didn’t love me anymore. With my eyes downcast, I moved to pull away from him, turning to leave but the hand I’d held now tightened around mine, and I was suddenly dragged towards him and flung against the side of Fabian’s car.

I gasped and my eyes shot to his but his lips slammed down on mine, his hand tangling in my hair, tugging my head back until my neck was bowed, exposing my skin to him.

His lips moved from mine and began to trail down my neck and I felt a shiver of excitement when his fangs grazed at my skin. When he suddenly bit down, I cried out, my fangs descending too and with an uncontrollable bowing of my spine, I came, with no stimulation, no hand to my pussy or clit, just the pleasure and pain of his bite.

He growled, rubbing his erection against me, suddenly fumbling between our bodies. I heard the familiar sound of his zip being lowered before he reached into his jeans, pulling out his huge erect dick. His hand disappeared under the hem of my dress and my thong was pulled to one side before he pushed a couple of fingers into me. I cried out, moving against his hand, wanting more, needing him inside me.

Damien pulled his fingers out again leaving me bereft but before I could protest, I felt the gorgeous broad head of his cock against me and he began to push inside, inch by inch, piercing by piercing until he was buried in me. He didn’t fuck me slow and easy like I expected. The gentle entering of my body was certainly not a hint of things to come; quite the opposite in fact. He began to thrust into me hard and fast, pounding me up against the side of Fabian’s car, and I briefly hoped that the owner of the vehicle wouldn’t show up anytime soon.

Gradually he worked us higher, his thrusts harder and faster, his fingers biting into my ass as he held me steady. The pressure was building in me again as each thrust brushed over my clit, sending a burst of pleasure radiating through me. I could tell that Damien was drawing closer to his release too when his movements became more frantic.

Finally it was too much and I cried out, my body convulsing and shuddering as my orgasm tore through me. With my body held in the grip of an intense climax, made more intense I think because I’d finally confessed my feelings to Damien, I clung to him, my arms wrapped around his neck, holding his head, whispering over and over again to him that I loved him and I was sorry.

Suddenly he tensed, his fingers digging even harder into me, as he lunged, slamming my back against the side of Fabian’s car. Once, twice he thrust, and with a low groan his head fell back and I felt the flood of his release deep inside me. “Oh fuck, fuck babe, fuck.” His voice was rough as he trembled through his climax.

I held him until his body stopped shuddering against mine and he dropped his head to my neck, his arms around me so tight he might have broken my ribs if I’d been human.

“I love you babe.” He mumbled into the hollow at the base of my neck, and suddenly I was afraid I’d misheard him or that he’d already be regretting his words.

“What did you say?” I asked gnawing on my bottom lip as I waited for his reply.

“I love you Flame. I never stopped. I was heartbroken when you couldn’t love me back. I’ve never in my entire life, human or vampire told someone I love them. You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt the desire to be with forever. I know you had trouble adjusting to becoming vampire but I couldn’t sit back and watch you die. Even then, I knew my feelings for you were different. I didn’t realise I loved you, but I knew I loved being with you. It wasn’t just about the sex with you. You are bright and intelligent and challenging. I loved the banter between us and I’ve never wanted any of that before. Every other woman has only ever been about the sex and blood.” I saw a haunted look cross his face.  “You were going to die Flame. You were bleeding internally and I just couldn’t stand back and let you die or watch the humans try to save you. Modern medicine was not going to help you; your injuries were too severe. We’d just reached a better level of understanding and everything seemed perfect, then that car turned up, hit us and everything changed. I’ve hated how things have been the last few days. I hated that you needed Adrian to give you what you wanted, even when you were letting me fuck you. It had to be the pain and the brutal violent sex. I’ve had a lot of sex but it’s not so hot when it’s like that babe. Well not for me at least. I can role play, play games; I can spank you but not sadistic behaviour. I’m not a sadist.”

“I know you’re not Damien and I’m not one for the pain really but call Adrian what you will, he helped me. He knew what I needed when I didn’t. I don’t need that anymore. I’ve accepted what I’ve become and I don’t hate it or what I am. I’m sorry that I treated you so badly.” I reached up to kiss him and he quickly took over, his tongue in my mouth.

“Thank fuck for that. They’re kissing and hey look. Some things just never change. He’s got his dick inside her again. Do you two get off on being exhibitionists do you?” Francesca’s voice was like a bucket of cold water over us, as we stood in one another’s arms, leaning against Fabian’s car.

Surprisingly Damien chuckled quietly before pulling out of me and tucking himself back in his jeans. He reached out to drag the hem of my dress to a more acceptable length before slipping an arm around my shoulders. He seemed reluctant to lose contact with me at all and I was so fucking happy to have him, and be in his arms that I grinned at Fabian. Fuck, I grinned at the big man himself, and more amazingly he smiled back at me.

“It’s good to see you two appear to have sorted your problems. The tension in the house has been intolerable. So the pair determined to avoid commitment have discovered they love one another. It’s a good feeling isn’t it?” Fabian asked as he turned to pull Sirene into his arms.

“It is.” I grinned at Fabian before looking up into the warm bright eyes of Damien. “I never expected it to feel so good. I’ve run from this for years because I was so scared to love and possibly be rejected or abandoned.” I reached up to kiss his cheek. “I love you my sexy man whore.”

He grinned down at me. “I’m only a man whore for you babe. My dick’s going to stay a one cunt dick from now on.” I burst out laughing at his words. Only Damien could get away with talking the way he did.

“I think it’s time we headed home now.”  Fabian said. “I know that might seem somewhat dull after your frequent desire to fuck in public, but there is no need to continually take risks of being detected.”

“Great idea.” Damien dragged me towards the car. “The faster we get home, the quicker I can get back inside that gorgeous cunt of yours.” He grinned and I rolled my eyes at him.

We all started climbing into Fabian’s car when I heard a woman’s voice call my name and I spun around, feeling my body turn to ice when I saw who it was. It was a man and woman. They looked older than I remembered, but then it had been a bit over a decade since I’d seen them last. That would make them in their late fifties now. Their clothes looked cheap and both of them had more lines on their faces than they should have had for their ages, as if they’d fallen on difficult times. It was a shock to see them and I couldn’t move as I stared at them in growing horror. How the fuck had they found me?