Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) (17 page)

For anyone else that one word, that tiny three letter word represented an agreement, a nod, an acceptance of something.  Still for Lucian that one little word, that tiny three letter word meant so much more. It was trust, a relinquish of control, it was the turning point in his relationship with Arissa and if there was anything he needed to be careful of right now, it was to make sure he didn’t fuck up. This was going to be for her even if he felt like his balls were going to explode. He knew he would not be sinking himself deep inside her cunt tonight. Tonight was all for her. This was to be her education, her discovery; the realisation that sex could be an incredible thing, not a painful thing.

She had already had a hint of what it could be like when he’d fed off her. She had enjoyed that, although it was obvious to him that her body’s reaction to his bite confused her, despite the fact she had orgasmed. He had told her what it could be like and now it was up to him to prove it to her. Tonight he was going to have to pull off the performance of his life. He was going to have to be calm, patient, agonisingly patient with her and do something that was alien to him, deny himself in the process. He was going to have to exhibit enough control to educate Arissa without giving into his basic animal instinct to plunge deep within her and fuck her until he came spectacularly and it would be spectacular with her, instinctively he just knew it. There was something about this fragile, damaged woman that drew him to her. She tugged at his silent heart and made him feel things he’d never felt before. For her, he would make an exception and forgo any opportunity to seek his own release.

Arissa

I stared up at Lucian, my heart thumping frantically in my chest. I was sure he’d be able to hear it, it was beating so hard. This was it, I was going to let him do this. It was terrifying and exciting but I knew it was also necessary. I didn’t want to let my father ruin my life any longer. They were all right, the words of my new vampire saviours. It would be foolish to throw away the rest of my life, and not live it to the fullest now I was free of the clutches of my father. If I continued to hide away, too scared to live, then he won and he didn’t deserve that victory any more than I deserved that failure. I needed someone who could show me what I’d been missing. Someone I could trust and that someone was Lucian. Of course it didn’t stop me feeling incredibly nervous but when I looked up into his stunningly handsome face, I knew I was doing the right thing.

“So are you all really good looking because you’re vampires?” I asked.

He chuckled. “Well, being vampire isn’t like a total transformation. It won’t change someone who is unattractive into attractive. I don’t know what most of my family looked like before becoming vampire as they were already vampire when I met them, but Sirene was human or a human witch when she and Fabian first met. She was beautiful then but I guess becoming vampire just accentuates those attributes we had while human. That’s the best way I can describe it to you.” He studied my face for a moment. “Now if you were vampire your eyes would probably look even bluer than they do now, your hair even more blonde, your skin more perfect and your scars from that bastard would probably be gone.”

“You make it sound like quite an attractive lifestyle.” I said. “Will you make me a vampire?”

“No baby. No one can make you vampire unless you wish to be one and Fabian would never agree to it, unless he was sure it was the right thing for you to do. You have to remember being vampire is a condition that is for eternity. We will all know each other forever or unless one of us meets with an accident but that’s why my sire is so strict with us. Everything is done to protect us from the potential risk of exposure to humans. We are not like other vampires. We are not animals; we choose not to live a life of violence. Some of us are not that different to humans just our diet is far more limited. Fabian was once a cruel, cold, selfish man and although he perhaps possesses the least human like qualities, well other than Francesca, he has changed dramatically since meeting Sirene and becoming a father. My sire has a heart now.” He grinned. “You have to remember once someone is made vampire there is no going back from that. Still the power, the control, the strength, the sex, it’s all an incredible rush.” He smiled at me again. “Maybe one day you will find out what it’s like.”

I listened to him; saw the excitement burning in his eyes and it made me want what he had. He had no fear, no insecurities. I bet my father couldn’t hurt me if I was vampire.

“You do make it sound very appealing. I think it would make my life easier to deal with in some ways if I was vampire.”

Lucian’s eyes widened and he started shaking his head. “No Arissa, you cannot be made vampire as a way to escape all that you fear because once those fears are gone, then what? You could come to loathe your life as a vampire. It is possible to become stronger, more confident, to work past your fears without becoming one of us. I can show you, I can help you, and certainly all of us will protect you from that bastard should he ever come looking for you. Now, I think before it gets too much later, your first lesson in the art of discovering pleasure should begin. I need you to not worry about me; don’t let the responses of my body frighten you. I can’t stop myself from getting hard but I will not force myself upon you. I’m not going to lie and pretend I don’t want you though. I want you very much but I’m not an animal and I’m not your father. Do you trust me?”

I stared into his gorgeous brown eyes and nodded. I was nervous, and the thought of him desiring me was both exciting and terrifying, but I did believe him when he said he would not force himself on me. I just had to remember what he said, and also Daisy’s words when she’d reassured me that just because a man had an erection, didn’t mean he was going to force me to have sex.

“I trust you, now what do you want me to do?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“Nothing baby, I just want you to lie back and enjoy yourself. Don’t over think it; just let your body feel.” His deep voice was soothing, cajoling as it flowed over me. “I need to take off some of your clothing but I won’t strip you naked ok? Not yet, not tonight.”

I watched as he gracefully got to his feet, looking down at me, and my eyes drifted over him, from his messy over long hair, down that black silk shirt which was opened at the neck, just showing a glimpse of hair. It was a thin covering though, not thick and heavy like my father’s and I gave myself a mental shake. I had to stop doing that, I couldn’t compare them.

Looking at the man before me, there was nothing about him that even remotely resembled my father. He was so tall, athletic looking, muscled but not too heavily so; long legs, a nice tight ass and when I found myself trying to get a look at it, I blushed. Fighting a wave of sudden confusion and embarrassment, my eyes shifted from his butt, and landed on the large bulge in his jeans which showed quite clearly that he was aroused. When I realised I was staring at his groin, I felt another wave of heat in my cheeks and hastily dropped my head to a safer area, staring at his quite large feet. He was still wearing his boots that he’d worn when we’d gone to the club.

I heard his quiet chuckle. “Just what is going through that pretty head of yours to bring such colour to your cheeks?”

“I…oh god…I can’t say. It’s...its too embarrassing. You’ll...you’ll laugh at me.” I stammered.

He dropped down by my side, his hand cupping my burning cheek. “I would never laugh at you Arissa but don’t hide from me, please, tell me what has you so embarrassed.”

I took a deep breath and braced myself for his teasing. “I…I think that…I think you’re beautiful Lucian and you are so tall and I like your hair, your eyes, your bum, I like you.” I finished on little more than a whisper. “Plus I can see you’re hard, I…it both excites me and scares me.” I confessed, lowering my eyes from his intense gaze.

There was silence and as the silence continued, I finally raised my eyes to his and found him staring at me, smiling. He wasn’t laughing and he wasn’t looking angry or like he thought I was crazy.

“I like your honesty I like you too baby, very much and yes I want you but I’m not going to force myself on you.”

He stood up but suddenly swooped down, scooping me into his arms. I cried out in surprise, but it didn’t scare me to be cradled against his hard chest. My heart began to beat faster when he carried me over to his bed and gently placed me down.

I felt his hand at the back of my dress and then the flow of cool air against my skin as he lowered the zip. Gently he slipped the dress off both arms but he didn’t try to remove it completely. I could feel myself tensing up as unwelcome thoughts of my father invaded my head. I tried to push them from my mind. Lucian was not my father; he was nothing like him. Still, it was hard since I hadn’t experienced anything else but my father’s cruel treatment.

“Relax baby, it’s me, Lucian. I’m not going to hurt you. Lie back, don’t think about him ok?”

I listened to the soothing tones of his deep voice and felt my tense muscles starting to unlock and relax. It was only when I felt his hands pushing my dress up over my thighs, past my panties to my waist that I started to tense up again, my breathing becoming more erratic.

“Relax, please.” He tried to soothe me again and I watched as he climbed onto the bed, still fully dressed and came towards me, lowering himself onto the mattress by my side, close to me, so close but not actually touching me. His eyes moved over my face slowly as if studying every one of my features until suddenly his focus shifted to my lips. I watched as his tongue appeared, circling his lips before he lowered his head to mine. Frozen, holding my breath, I watched him getting closer and closer, his features blurring, just before I felt the cool touch of his soft lips against mine.

I gasped and Lucian took advantage of my parted lips, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I waited for the familiar revulsion to overcome me but there was none. In fact I liked what he was doing. It was nice, it was more than nice and tentatively, almost shyly, I let my tongue meet his. I heard him groan softly and he began to kiss me more passionately, more forcefully, his tongue tangling with mine.

Gently his lips moved on mine, his tongue exploring my mouth and I trembled, caught up in the heady mix of his scent, his taste and his touch. My heart hammered frantically behind my ribs, my body trembling with emotion and when he finally released my mouth, I gasped, my lips parted as I sucked much needed oxygen into my lungs.

As I struggled to deal with the unexpected feelings Lucian stirred in me, I whimpered when his lips touched my neck, kissing his way down towards my collarbone, every brush of them leaving a fiery trail of sensation on my skin. He moved down towards my breast, one hand pulling the cup down until he had freed it to his touch.

I’d barely registered the cool air on my heated skin when his lips closed over my nipple and I felt the pull as he sucked at it, coaxing it into a hard peak. I cried out, as he sucked at it and licked the puckered skin. With every suck, I felt a pull low in my belly and a stab of pleasure between my legs.

I didn’t understand what was happening and a part of me was fearful of this powerful sensation he was stirring within in me. Oh my god, I didn’t know why it felt so different with Lucian. I didn’t understand why I could feel every pull of his lips and every sweep of his tongue over my nipple stabbing through me, down there, between my thighs.

I didn’t get time to dwell on it before he moved to my other nipple, and it was subjected to the same treatment until it too stood erect and wet from his tongue. I started shaking, my body shifting restlessly on the bed and I reached out, suddenly needing to touch him. My hands found his hair and I tunnelled my fingers into it, surprised at how soft and silky it was.

“Are you alright baby?” He asked his voice husky and his eyes so dark they appeared almost black.

I nodded staring into those rich chocolate coloured eyes of his. I could see his desire for me in them but it didn’t frighten me. Nothing he was doing felt threatening or frightening, it simply felt good, surprisingly good, arousing and when he turned his attention back on my breasts I arched up, reaching for something, wanting something to ease this ache building in my body. “Lucian.” I cried as he moved his lips up to my neck, nibbling gently over my skin. I shivered at the feather light caress below my ear, just before he bit down, his fangs piercing my vein. I yelled as the pain exploded in me but as quickly as it hurt, it was gone again and I felt pleasure begin to spiral through my body, building up and up within me.

As he fed from me, sucking powerfully on my neck, it was like a dam burst and pleasure shot through me, rapidly radiating out until my whole body tingled with the amazing pleasure. I felt fullness between my thighs, a deep throbbing within me and I clamped my legs together, my hips gyrating as the pleasure seemed to go on and on.

When it finally eased and I sagged into the mattress, panting, my heart pounding, I opened my eyes to find Lucian watching me intently.

“You just had another orgasm baby. Did you enjoy that?” He dropped a tiny kiss at the corner of my mouth and I sucked in a deep breath, his heavenly scent filling my nostrils.

“It’s…it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced Lucian. It’s so intense, so...so…” I fell silent unable to find words that would do justice to how I was feeling.

He bent his head and kissed me, just a gentle brush of his lips over mine. “There aren’t enough words to describe what an orgasm feels like. It will blow your mind. It will light up your entire body; leave you feeling so sensitive, every sense heightened. You will feel boneless, momentarily weakened, sated and guaranteed you will want to do whatever it takes to feel that way again.  As good as you might feel now, you have barely tasted what it is like baby. I haven’t finished with you yet. I want to show you more.”