Past Due (14 page)

“I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess. I didn’t sleep well last night and the drive in here was a mess. I swear, I have never cried this much in my life.”

“It’s all right,” Tres said wrapping an arm around her. She melted into his chest. It felt so good, so natural. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her cheek, saying nothing, but holding her close.

Jenna looked up at him, touching his freshly shaven cheek. He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead as naturally as he took a breath. It was a simple kiss, but he wanted more. She could read it in his eyes. But she could also see by the stern set of his chin that he wouldn’t break his resolve, and she couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

She looked away, hoping he didn’t see the regret she felt.

Why couldn’t her life be simple? Why couldn’t she just surrender to this man who drew her like a magnet and charged every cell in her body with electric? It seemed so natural and so right, and if it felt right, shouldn’t it be right?

But it wasn’t. She should understand that by now.

And there was still Tanner.

How could she have forgotten Tanner so quickly? She tried to think of the appropriate way to bring him up, but the words wouldn’t come. She bit her lip and pushed herself away from his embrace. She clutched her hands in her lap. Tres lifted one holding it in his own warm, strong hand. “What is it Jen? You’re shaking. Why do I upset you so much?”

“You don’t.” She tried to lie, but her voice shook. “I’m just ... it’s just been a long week.”

“Would you like a drink?’

Jenna shook her head, and then regretted her decision. The cold returned, and her body shivered. Tres wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close, rubbing her arms to warm her up. He kissed her temple, his breath warm against her ear as he spoke, “I can’t do this to you Jenna. I can’t watch you suffer without knowing how to fix it.” He lifted her chin until she looked him in the eyes. Her body began to warm and relax. He held her face in his hands and studied her as if deciding what to do.

As if by instinct, her hands eased their way onto his shoulders, absorbing the heat of his body. He groaned and pulled her closer, planting feathery kisses across her cheeks and nose. Her hands slid behind his head, needing the feel of his skin on her hands. Her thumbs massaged the tense muscles running down his neck. Closing her eyes, she turned her lips into his. Feeling the silkiness of her lips against his, he responded with pure need. He didn’t just want her—he needed her. As fundamental a need as air and water. She was the sunshine he sought. He kissed her, with every feeling of love and tenderness on his lips.

Her body responded, her pulse quickening in her throat. The soft throb beat against his lips as he trailed kisses down the soft skin of her neck. Her body was taut against his, her breasts swollen, pressing against his chest. He knew from experience she was ripe for exploration. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes dark with passion, her body warming in his hands. Pressed just a little further, he could persuade her to open up to him.

But this was not about sex. He refused to give her cause to bolt from him again.

He kissed her lightly then pulled her hands from the grip they had on his shoulders. He kissed each one tenderly before placing it in her lap.

He sat with his eyes closed a moment, strengthening his resolve to stop. He dared not look into her eyes, they would be his undoing. Instead, he stood and went to the mini bar. He poured himself a whiskey and water. “Sure you don’t want a drink?”

“No.” Jenna put a hand to her fiery cheek. Her heart still pounded from the passion he stirred in her and she felt a rising irritation because ... what? She didn’t get to demand he stop? She pulled nervously at the hem of her dress fidgeting in her seat, bewildered by her feelings.

Tres returned to the couch and took her hand. “See, I can be a gentleman. I promised I wouldn’t maul you and I haven’t.” Flashing a disarming smile, he added, “Well, at least not completely.”

They sat together, neither speaking. Jenna twisted her hands in her lap as she chewed on her lower lip until it felt raw. Ask him about Tanner, her mind harassed in a drumbeat of conscience growing louder as the moments passed, but each time she opened her mouth to begin, the words wouldn’t come. Tres took her hand and massaged the smoothness with his thumb. His presence radiated a heat that made her heart race. She couldn’t stay focused with him so close, with the tension of near intimacy thick between them. She looked up at Tres and he smiled down at her. Her heart swooned. The drumbeat quieted for a moment only to surge through her like a tidal wave. She sprang from her seat and paced before him, unable to focus next to him. “I can’t sit,” she admitted, crossing her arms, her nails biting into the soft flesh.

She paced for what felt like an eternity before finding the courage to explain: “I’ll be honest, Tres. Since I saw you yesterday, I’ve been wondering why you came back. Wondering what it is you’re after.” Ice broken, she confidently returned to the couch, seated on the edge, her hips turned toward him, their knees touching. “I know you said you have business to take care of. But then I wondered why you didn’t just call if you had something to discuss. And then when I saw you on the beach and things got ... well,” Jenna exhaled and blurted, “They got out of control.” She took a deep breath. “But truly, this chemistry between us, it’s not enough…”

“Seriously, Jenna?”

Jenna continued as though she didn’t hear his rebuttal. “We have this physical connection that’s strong, but I don’t think...”

“Stop. Jenna, this isn’t about chemistry or physical attraction. You know better.”

“No, I don’t, Tres. You and I ... we don’t even know each other anymore, yet there is still this physical draw. The same draw that made us, well at least me, think we were in love.”

“So, all those years ago, when you said you loved me, that was just what? Lust? Is that what you’re telling me, Jen?”

“Maybe,” Jenna shrugged, fidgeting again in her seat suddenly wishing she had remained standing. Tres’s eyes seemed to burn her skin; her cheeks flamed under his gaze.

“Really?” Tres’s glass clanked against the table where he let it drop, ignoring the liquid spilling over the top. He shook his head and clenched his jaw. “So, all the time I spent with you, all the times we were together—it was nothing more than fun. An excursion?”

“No.” Jenna felt the frustration, wished she could have written the words rather than try to bumble through them. “I just mean the physical connection between us seems to be...”

“So, was that just your mode of operations, Jen? Was I just one of many summer loves?”

“Of course not!” Jenna’s voice rose so quickly, she surprised herself. She answered a moment later, her voice lower, but her words rushed, “You know I loved you. I was mad about you. But fifteen years have gone by and you’re back and...I’m just trying to make sense of all of this. And a physical connection is the only thing that makes any sense. It’s either that or…”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this. What we had was far more than sex, and what I feel now goes well beyond needing a warm body next to mine. Come on, Jenna, warm bodies aren’t that hard to find.”

Jenna flushed and turned away, unable to look at him. He grabbed her shoulders, gently forcing her toward him. “No, Jen. You’re going to look at me; you’re going to hear what I have to say. No more running away from me. No more games. You owe me some answers. Do you understand?”

She lowered her eyes. She couldn’t look at him. His raw emotion pained her. What she knew and what she saw in his eyes confused her. She could see the pain and frustration, thought she saw the tenderness, but how did it add up when she knew he abandoned her? He gripped her shoulders tighter, his voice a near whisper, “Look at me. I am begging you to just look at me. I deserve to know why.”

Jenna raised her eyes to his. He sighed with relief and brought his forehead to rest on hers; his hands worked their way to the soft skin at the back of her neck. “I’ve got no pride left, Jen, so I’m going to be completely honest with you.”

Jenna nodded and swallowed hard certain she’d not be able to speak if she had to.

“You are,” he sighed, his breath warm against her brow, “the only woman I’ve ever loved. The only woman I’ve ever wanted. And you broke my heart. I could have died when you chose Jake over me. I’ve always wanted to know why. That question has haunted me, made my life a living hell at times. I loved you then, and I love you now. And what hurts the most is that you never loved me. Do you understand, Jenna?”

“Not really,” she answered honestly, whispering the question which had plagued her over a decade. “If you love me, why did you leave me?”

His hands tightened against her neck, “Because you married Jake. Because you were having his child. As much as I love you, those are lines I would never cross.”

Jenna’s heart lurched. Her emotions spun so swiftly she felt dizzy. She grabbed hold of Tres tighter, her fingers gripping his shirt, “You don’t know. You don’t know.”

“Know what, Jenna?” Tres asked, closing his eyes against the burning.

Jenna looked up at him, her voice soft but strong, her hand touched his cheek gently. “You don’t know that I never loved anyone but you.”

Tres groaned. Those were the words he longed to hear—coming from the lips he longed to kiss. In a movement, he pulled her on top of him so she straddled his hips. His hands ran up her sides past the small of her waist to her arms. Her skin felt smooth and cool under his hands. She looked beautiful, her soft lips swollen with desire and her eyelids heavy. He traced the curve of her cheek with his fingertips and ran his hand through the tendrils of escaped hair. She turned her face toward his hand and rubbed it across her cheek, “A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t loved you. I want you to love me, Tres. Love me today and tomorrow and the next. Love me for all the yesterdays we missed.”

Tres pulled her tight against him, kissing and searching her lips and the smooth contours of her mouth. He wanted to be as close as physically possible. His hands squeezed her shoulders, slipping into the silkiness of her hair pulling it free. He wrapped it around his hands pulling her head back gently pausing a moment to memorize the look of her and to assure himself she was real. This moment culminated every dream into a reality too heady to be rapidly absorbed.

“I don’t ever plan to lose you again, Jenna. Never again.”

“I don’t want you to lose me.” She leaned forward kissing his lips, moving down, brushing her lips against the brown, sinew flesh of his neck, reveling in the gasp she evoked when she undid the top button of his crisp white shirt. Undoing several more, she slid her hands between the fabric and his skin caressing the hard curves of his muscles. He leaned his head against the back of the sofa gripping her backside. The feel of her hands on his body was nearly too much. He lifted her head, bringing her lips back to his. He kissed her as deeply as he could, his hands trailing up her spine, deftly finding the zipper on her dress. He pulled the fabric from her body and had to remind himself to breathe. She was beautiful. Her full breasts filled the lacy fabric, a soft abundance spilling over to tease him. Jenna instinctively covered herself with her hands, feeling suddenly bare and vulnerable. Tres closed his eyes for a long moment, his hands gentle on her hips, stroking her soft skin with his thumbs.

“Should I stop? I’d rather die than hurt you.”

Jenna looked down at the man under her. She wasn’t certain she deserved him, but she knew she wanted him. She knew when he held her she felt alive. The blood rushed through her body making it scream with need. And she knew he wanted her, and for right now, that was enough.

She slowly moved her hands from her breasts reaching behind her undoing the snap allowing the fabric to fall to the floor. With an anguished moan he caressed a tender globe gently bringing it to his lips. Her head tipped back and a low moan escaped from her throat. She cradled his head against her breast until she could no longer stand the torment. She lifted his head to hers finding his lips and kissed him stopping only to ask, “Prove to me this is real. Tell me I’m not dreaming.”

He picked her up and carried her to his bed, setting her on her feet beside it. He shrugged off his shirt then pulled her dress down over her hips trailing kisses down her taut belly. Her breathing became increasingly more and more ragged, nearly stopping when he removed the silky panties running his lips down the smooth skin of her thigh as he lowered them to floor. She rested her weight on his shoulders, nearly collapsing from the desire which had been pent up for so long.

He stood beside her; his skin grazed against hers, teasing with the contact. He kissed her lips, pressing her body against his own rigidness. He had tomorrow to explore her, to taste and feel every curve, right now he needed to be part of her. He lifted her without effort and laid her on the bed, kissing her and relishing in the feel of her naked body beneath him. Her body was smooth and firm, her breasts hard and swollen against his chest. She was better than he remembered, more beautiful and exciting. 

Jenna had a difficult time maintaining her sanity as he touched and explored her body. She wanted him, needed him to stop teasing her, but when she tried to unfasten his pants, her fingers trembled so badly they were ineffective. He kissed her. She could feel his lips curve against hers in a smile. He drew away from her, helping her with the button at his waist and disrobing before he returned. He lowered his weight on top of her, cradling her head with his arms as he leaned above her, “I love you, Jenna.”