Past Forward Volume 1 (37 page)

The stream overflowed its banks, and Willow
found the current much swifter and more unpredictable than usual,
but the pool was still reasonably calm, though swollen. She
prepared her rod and settled against a tree, trying to use the
grass as a barrier from the mud.

Oh how I love thy law. It is my
meditation…
Willow closed her eyes and mentally recited all of
the psalms that she could remember. When finished, she moved to the
Sermon on the Mount, Romans, and her favorite book, Philemon.
Occasionally she paused to drop a new fish into the bucket, but
aside from random interruptions like that, Willow spent the morning
reviewing every scripture she could remember.

When no new verses came to mind, she ate her
sandwich, drank what was left of her water, packed her tackle, and
started home with both buckets full of fish. Mud clung to her
jeans, her backside, and her shoes. The buckets were heavy and
bulky, but the thought of fish in winter kept her going.

In the barn, she stripped off her muddy
clothes and grabbed a towel from the laundry, wrapping it around
her. She slipped on her barn boots and sloshed across the yard to
the back door. There she removed the boots, rinsed her feet with
the hose, and went inside to put on clean clothes.

As she tromped back to the barn, it occurred
to her that walking around her property in nothing but a towel
probably wasn’t a good idea anymore. Chad stopped by on a regular
basis. Chuck had mentioned coming, and it wasn’t unreasonable to
assume Jill might stop in without calling.
Mother, sometimes I
wonder if I’m making the right choices. I’m losing my freedoms even
as others think I’m gaining them. Very strange.
Willow’s
running mental conversations with her mother worried her at times,
but she couldn’t give them up. It was probably normal; then again,
she
was doing it. One lesson she had learned well; she was
definitely not normal.

In the middle of filleting the trout, her
phone rang. Willow washed her hands, dried them, and then slid open
the phone to see who had called. Not surprised, she punched the
button for Chad’s number and waited. “Did you need something?”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“What for?”

“I realized when I went looking for you
after church that you probably couldn’t make it. I should have
called and offered you a ride.”

A slow smile spread over her face. “I’m
fine. The Lord and I had a good time together by the stream.”

“Catch anything?”

“Two buckets. I’m almost done filleting the
first one.”

Chad sighed and Willow understood before he
even spoke. He still hadn’t had a chance to go fishing. “I’ve got
to try your stream sometime.”

“I should get back to the fish, but since
you called, I wanted to know if you would be seeing your cousin
again soon.”

He sound amused when he said, “I can go out
anytime. Why?”

“I made those jumpers for the girls, and I
thought maybe he could—”

“Let’s go!” Chad interrupted.

Willow paused in her work, thoughtful. Would
the widow want a stranger around her house and her children?
“Really?”

“Sure. I’ll call Luke and then call you
back.”

Before she could respond, the phone went
dead. Willow stared at the pile of cleaned fish and pulled out
butcher paper, wrapping quickly. She’d just split open the first
fish of the second bucket when her phone rang again.

Impatiently, she dropped the knife and
washed her hands. Somehow, she managed to answer it before the call
went to voicemail. “Yes.”

“You sound ticked. We don’t have to go. I
just thought—”

Willow sighed. “It’s not that. I was just in
the middle of another fish. I’m sorry.”

“Luke said to come on over. They’re working
inside today, and he says Aggie won’t rest unless she has to.
Having us out for an hour or two will give them a break.” Just as
she began to reply, he added. “Aunt Libby is there; you could meet
her.”

“I have to finish the fish first, but—”

“I’ll be right there. Save me one. It’s been
a while.”

He arrived before half the bucket was empty.
Willow wrapped each one as she finished, dating them and slipping
them into crevices in the freezer. He watched for a moment and then
went to work.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting your uniform
stinky?”

“Nah.”

She frowned. “Why wear it to church?”

“I got off just as church started. No time
to change.”

“Makes sense.” Willow grabbed another fish
and her knife.

They worked side-by-side, conversation a
minimum. After fileting each fish, Chad passed it to Willow for
inspection and grabbed another. “How did you catch so many?”

“The pool always fills during a rainstorm. I
can usually get half a dozen without a lot of trouble, but after a
rain, I can get about all I can carry.”

“Next time it rains, I’m coming
fishing.”

She rinsed the fillet he passed her, pulling
a bone from it as unobtrusively as possible, patted it dry, and
wrapped it. Chad’s smile told her he’d seen her pull out the bone,
but she had no intention of leaving it. Just as she started to
apologize, he said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Not letting me have it over the bone.”

“It happens. I miss them too sometimes.
There’s no reason to make a big deal out of it.”

“Well,” he added, “It was nice. I’m getting
into the groove again. I don’t think I’ll miss any more. Why don’t
you go clean up?”

Willow opened her mouth to protest and then
saw her shirt soaked with fish innards and pond water. “Are you
sure?” It seemed rude leaving him to do her work.

“I won’t leave anymore bones.”

“Oh, that’s not what I meant at all! I
just—”

Chad grabbed a kitchen towel and snapped it
at her leg. “I was just teasing. Go. There’s only two left anyway.
I’ve got this.”

She dashed across the yard, dodging puddles
and missing most. Dropping her shoes outside the door, she stared
at her pant legs, the muddy water dripping onto the porch. Willow
glanced over her shoulder, but saw no sign of Chad. She stepped
inside the house and shed her jeans, racing for the stairs and up
them skipping more than she could count.

Minutes later, Willow stood in her closet
with hair dripping and nothing but a towel around her, staring at
the options.
A skirt is comfortable and appropriate for any
occasion.
The memory of Mother’s words tempted her to reach for
one of her new skirts. However, if she ended up helping with work…
She grabbed jeans and one of her new tops and started to
change.

The sound of the screen door closing
downstairs startled her “Be down in a minute,” she called as she
closed her bedroom door, feeling as though she’d narrowly escaped
utter mortification. “Definitely can’t walk around without clothes
on anymore,” she muttered as she pulled on her jeans.

To her disgust, Chad stood in the living
room, admiring her jumpers and without a hint of fish smell about
him. His hands were clean, his uniform spotless; only faint traces
of mud around his soles, missed by wiping she imagined, indicated
that he’d even been outside. So, she was surprised when at the end
of the driveway, Chad turned toward Fairbury. “Wha—”

“I just realized that I should change
too.”

“But you aren’t dirty.”

He swerved into the other lane to give a
cyclist extra room as he said, “I just thought maybe Aggie’s kids
might associate uniforms with bad memories—their parents’ accident
and all.”

Once in Fairbury, Willow enjoyed seeing
parts of town she’d never visited as Chad turned off Market Street
into a residential area. All the houses, packed together—Willow
felt sorry for them. How could they breathe? Then again, at least
they had yards. Bill, on the other hand…

Victorian-styled row houses came into view
as they turned onto a new street. “Wow! These are so beautiful.
They remind me of the ones in our book on San Francisco.”

Chad pulled up in front of one house and
hopped out. He met her at her door as Willow climbed from the
truck. “The builder for this neighborhood planned this area after a
trip there back in the late twenties.”

“I wonder if Mother ever saw these. She
would have loved them.”

They stepped inside the house, and Willow
glanced around her. Stairs, a hallway, but no furnishings. Where
was the living room? Odd…

Chad unlocked a door to what should have
been a bedroom, and she found herself in a tiny apartment. “Oh—a
flat! How many are there?”

“Four.” He gestured to the couch. “Have a
seat. I’ll be right out.”

His apartment was empty. Unlike Bill’s
deliberate minimalist design, Chad’s apartment simply held nothing
but the barest essentials and a mismatched of hodge-podge things at
that. “Did you just move in?” she called as he shut a door behind
him.
Must be his bedroom.

“No. It’s just temporary though.”

Willow winced. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, I know it’s not that exciting, but I
don’t plan to live here very long. I just don’t want to spend money
on something temporary.”

“Are you going to buy a house or something?”
There were some adorable little bungalows over by Shannon’s
apartment. Maybe he—

“
If I can afford one.
Rockland’s pretty expensive. I’ll be lucky to afford an apartment
in a decent area.”

Dismay filled Willow but she tried to hide
it. He was moving. What would life be like without Chad stopping by
now and then? “When are you moving?”

“Probably not for another four years. Five
years with Fairbury will give me age and experience to get on the
Rockland force.”

Four years. The relief unnerved her. A lot
could happen in four years. She might make more friends by then.
Then again, considering how often she was annoyed by his constant
interjection into her life, why did knowing it wasn’t soon comfort
her?

“So you plan to live in limbo for four
years?”

Chad tossed his dirty clothes on a pile in
the corner of the living room. “Why not?”

“Just curious”

“Oh, no,” he protested. “I can see you have
an opinion, and I want to hear it.”

“Well, what if something happens? What if
they aren’t hiring in four years? What if you decide you want to
stay here—”

“I am not staying here; that’s for
sure.”

He urged her back to his truck, talking
about his career plans as he drove them out of Fairbury. His
eagerness to do “real police work” rather than what he considered
little better than civic babysitting amused her. He wanted
excitement—adventure. Fairbury gave him kids without helmets and
people going thirty-two in a twenty-five zone.

“Fairbury has the highest turnover of
officers in the state. The chief brings ‘em in, trains ‘em right,
and then sends ‘em off to Rockland or Marshfield or one of the
other towns north. Joe and Judith are the only ones who’ve been
here more than three years.”

“How long has Joe been here?” Willow asked,
trying to remember what the officer who had taught her the two-step
had said while they were dancing.

“Almost ten years I think. I’m not quite
sure.”

“Why hasn’t he moved along?”

Chad turned off the highway onto a frontage
road. “He’s committed to the town. He thinks if he works with the
kids here, we won’t lose them to Rockland and the crime and gangs
there.”

“Makes sense.”

He nodded as he turned off onto a street and
into a driveway. “It works too. It’s just I want to
do
something. Change something. Prevention is important—I understand
that—but I want to make a difference for the community that is
already hurting.”

Children swarmed from the house as they
pulled up to the house and Chad turned off the engine. Within
seconds, two jumped into mud puddles. Willow smiled. It was exactly
what she would have done as a child. Chad pointed to a young woman
on the porch. “That’s Aggie.”

“
That’s Aggie,” Chad
murmured.

“You’re right. She is young. She looks like
she’s about my age.”

“I think you’re just weeks apart.”

The idea nearly choked her. Twenty-three and
responsible for the care of eight children. Willow knew she’d never
be able to do it. “Wow.”

Aggie greeted them, rising from a hammock
chair as they stepped onto the porch. Another woman sat nearby, and
Luke rounded the corner of the house with wet paint rollers in his
hands. He introduced Aggie and Willow. Willow handed her
paper-wrapped bundle to Aggie as the young woman offered her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Willow—always nice to meet a friend of
Chad’s.”

Willow heard Luke say something about
cookies as he disappeared into the house, but her eyes were on
Aggie as the young woman unwrapped the package and unfolded the
garments. “I can’t believe you made dresses for little girls you
saw once and for such a short time! They’re so cute too. Thank
you!” Aggie hugged her, making Willow feel awkward but pleased.

“You’re welcome. I had fabric left over and
wanted to use it up so—”

“She hand painted that paisley fabric. Can
you believe that?”

Willow noticed Luke and his mother exchange
amused glances. She couldn’t blame them. It felt as if Chad had
been trying to “sell” them on her. Aggie, on the other hand, went
into new ecstasies over the fabric. “I can’t believe—I mean I see
it now that I look, but it’s so perfect…”

“Except for the spot where Chad made me mess
up. It’s under…” Willow showed a streak of paint under one corner
of the overskirt and pretended deep offense at his goof.

They sat and talked for some time, sipping
iced mint tea and nibbling on chocolate chip cookies. A young girl
of around thirteen brought out a baby, sat him at Aggie’s feet, and
disappeared around the corner of the house, calling for a game of
Mother May I.