“Meredith!” Scarlet’s sharp whisper penetrated her thoughts. “Miss Lambert is calling us. Time for our arithmetic exam. The last one ever.”
All things came to an end, she thought. It was the sweetness of the time that mattered for it made memories to cherish. She stowed her sewing into her bag, dropped it under her desk and trailed her friends to the front of the room where their teacher waited.
The sun was past its zenith before they stopped along the trail for lunch. The prairie rolled endless behind them, but the Rocky Mountains in the far distance flanked them. Up ahead hovered the promise of hills and, beyond, a mountain pass.
Shane dismounted, leading Hobo straight to the small creek gurgling beneath the shade of cottonwoods. The cool felt good, the breeze off the water better. While his horse drank he swept off his hat and stood a moment. Every mile behind them had been a torment, knowing it was taking him farther away from his Meredith.
She would have found the box by now. Was she wearing it, thinking of him? Or was she too proud? Too wounded? Judging by the sun, she might be chatting with her friends in the schoolyard, sewing away on her quilt patches. Simply from picturing her dappled with sun filled him with sweet agony, wanting the woman he could not have. She’d said goodbye, turned her back and walked away.
“Looks like pork loin sandwiches.” Braden tossed him a wrapped bundle. “Whatever cons there were working for the Worthingtons, the meals were some of the best I’ve had anywhere.”
“Are you sorry we left?” He unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite.
“I’m sorry I didn’t leave sooner. I’d forgotten how controlling a woman can be.” Braden shook his head, digging into his meal. “There’s nothing like being a bachelor. It’s a better option considering.”
Shane unhooked his canteen from his saddle and twisted the cap. It wasn’t that long ago he had agreed
with his boss. Getting out of an engagement that was more duty than choice had left him with a bad taste for marriage. That was before he knew what real love felt like and how it could transform a man. He swigged the lukewarm water, swallowing every last drop. His love for her didn’t stop like a match quickly blown out but remained burning as if there were no force strong enough to stop it.
If I’d had more time with her,
he thought, taking another bite of his sandwich. Maybe he could have made her understand. Picturing how angry she had been with him, how resolute, cast him in doubt. She thought he’d deceived her with his tales, but it was not true. There had been no lies, just the values he had learned along the way.
“We’ll fill up the canteens here and ride as far as we can,” Braden said around a mouthful. “Don’t want to waste any time. We’ll stop and set up camp around nightfall.”
“Good plan.” Going forward was the only sensible solution. He’d come too far to quit on Braden and his own ambition for the future. But nothing about his future felt right without Meredith in it.
He wedged the last bite of the sandwich into his mouth, knelt to fill his canteen in the fresh running water, and offered Hobo a molasses cookie from his pack. How could he go on? It was impossible, considering an unbreakable bond to Meredith held him back.
“S
ee you tomorrow!” Fiona called from the saddled bay Clydesdale, who had been tied all day long with other horses on the shady side of the schoolhouse. Flannigan, eager to stretch his legs, tugged politely at his bit and Fiona laughed. “I’d like to stay and chat longer, but this guy has a mind of his own.”
“Goodbye!” Meredith called out alongside her remaining friends. Kate had already taken off with her father, heading for their homestead far west of town. Ruby was expected home to help with the farm work, so she’d already taken off at a fast walk heading east.
“Meredith!” Minnie hung out of the buggy, waving wildly. “We’re waiting for you!”
“Take Maisie home first and then come back for me.” The last thing she wanted to do was to rush straight home. Too many reminders were there, aside from the fact that she wasn’t sure she could face her mother’s depression. Shane’s leaving would be sure to hit her hard.
“Are you regretting sending him away?” Lila asked,
as they fell in step together. Scarlet joined them, followed by Earlee, catching up with them breathlessly.
Meredith didn’t want to answer, but she felt the abiding affection of her friends and there was no safer place to admit the truth. “Regret? Yes. But I don’t see any other solution. He’s not right for me. He’s not the man of my dreams.”
“He seemed dreamy to me,” Lila commented. “Really decent and solid. Not caught up in himself.”
“I got the feeling he really cared about others,” Scarlet agreed.
“And the way he looked upon you, Meredith,” Earlee started.
“No! No more.” She rolled her eyes. She loved her friends, but her heart could only take so much. “How about a change of subject?”
“I have one.” Lila grinned. “There’s someone waving at you. Isn’t that the superintendent?”
Meredith stopped in her tracks. Sure enough, Mr. Olaff was crossing the street, an envelope in hand. She could think of only one reason why he would look her up.
“Ooh. Do you think he has a job for you?” Lila gripped her arm.
“Maybe it’s the school you wanted.” Scarlet grabbed her other arm.
“I’ve prayed so hard for you, Meredith.” Earlee hopped up and down with excitement. “I have a feeling my prayers are about to be answered.”
“Miss Worthington, good afternoon.” Mr. Olaff tipped his hat cordially. He was a grandfatherly gentleman with a friendly smile and a likable manner. “Your
letter of application has been at the top of our list for some time, and with your perfect score on the teaching exam, I am happy to offer you this.”
“A school?” she croaked, not daring to hope but knowing it was true all along. She stared at the envelope he held out to her, importantly thick.
“It’s a contract for three months’ teaching at the Upriver School,” Mr. Olaff said kindly. “June, July and August. I’m assuming you are interested?”
“Interested? I’m completely overcome.” There was her dream, just like that, finally arrived. She took the thick packet gingerly, half expecting it to evaporate and disappear. “Thank you, Mr. Olaff. I would love that school.”
“Then you take your contract home, read it carefully and bring it back to me by Friday. I’ll let the folks know they have a fine teacher for the summer.” With a tip of his hat and a wink, Mr. Olaff headed back to his office next to the bakery.
“Meredith!” Lila’s grip tightened with bruising strength.
“You did it!” Scarlet squealed.
“Congratulations!” Earlee clapped with delight.
“You’re officially a teacher!” Lila jumped with excitement, and suddenly they were all doing it, hopping as giddily as eight-year-olds. “But what about Earlee? Didn’t you get a school?”
“I haven’t put in my application yet,” Earlee explained. “There’s too much work at home with the animals and garden and the crops. I can’t leave my sister Beatrice to handle it all. When the harvest is in, then I can think about teaching.”
“And I’m not going to do anything,” Scarlet be moaned as they hesitated on the corner, about to go their separate ways. “I have no plans. Maybe I should get some.”
“I’ll be cutting fabric at the counter at my parents’ store. Probably for eternity.” Lila winked. “Unless Lorenzo changes his mind about me and sweeps me off my feet.”
“I’m sure there are great romances ahead for all of us,” Earlee declared, her sunshine hope infectious. “Lila, you need a handsome man of mystery to come new to town to sweep you off your feet.”
“At least it would counter the endless boredom in the mercantile,” Lila teased. “Speaking of which, my stepmother will be watching the clock and wondering why I’m not there to help out. See you all tomorrow!”
“Bye.” Scarlet took a step in the opposite direction. “My ma is waiting, too. See you in the morning.”
“See you.” Meredith, alone with Earlee, wasn’t surprised that her friend was gazing down the street where the flag was waving. “Are you hoping there’s a letter at the post office?”
“You know I am.” She squinted against the glare and adjusted her slouching sunbonnet’s brim. “Did you want to talk about what really happened with Shane? You’re obviously holding a lot inside.”
“Talking about it won’t help, but thanks.” For a moment, she looked so sad it nearly brought tears to Earlee’s eyes. She swallowed hard, wishing to high heaven her friend was not in too much pain. Meredith turned over the envelope in her hand. “This means I have to tell Mama and Papa.”
“Do you think they will forbid you to teach?”
“It would crush me if they did.” Meredith might have the prettiest dresses of any girl at school and she had the finest things, but she had sorrows, too.
“You know where I am if you need to talk.” Earlee wrapped her arms around her friend, giving her a caring hug. “Come by any time. It’s chaos at my house, but you will always be welcome. I’m here to listen.”
“You are a treasure, Earlee.”
“No, I’m no one special at all.” She loved Meredith for thinking so. “Did you want to come with me to the post office?”
“Sure. I’ve got a few more minutes until Minnie swings back by for me.”
“Great.” It was nice to have company.
“So, are you going to tell me about him?” Meredith asked. “You haven’t mentioned your interest in front of the others, so I haven’t said anything. The curiosity is killing me.”
“It’s nothing like what you and Shane have.” She blushed. “It’s just a one-sided thing. I’m the one who cares.”
“That can be rough. We’ve both agreed matters of the heart are confusing and complicated.”
“And painful.” The pain of not knowing, the pain of hoping against hope, the pain of being what she feared was too plain and too average for love. Then there were the constant demands of having a big family whose needs had to be met. What man wanted to put up with that? “Oh, look, there’s Minnie. She’s caught up to you.”
“She can wait for me for a few minutes, if you need to talk.”
“No, go on. You have to face your mother sometime. May as well get it over with.” She gave Meredith another hug, this time for encouragement. She was grateful for the interruption because she was afraid Meredith would guess about her feelings for Finn. He’d been all she could think about all day, wondering if there would be a letter from him today and if he had been thinking of her.
Her stomach was a jumble of nerves when she stepped into the post office and asked for their mail.
“Nothing for your family,” the postmaster commented across the counter.
Nothing? Again?
“Thank you anyway.” She pushed away, feeling the first drop of disappointment fall and another. She had been waiting and waiting for a letter. She had to accept the fact none was coming.
It wasn’t as if she were in love with him, just a harmless crush. She set her chin, blindly retracing her steps to the door. She knew full well Finn McKaslin did not feel that way for her. So why did the sun dim as she stepped onto the boardwalk? Why did her disappointment feel more like sorrow?
He’s all wrong for you,
she told herself.
He’s four years older, he’s in prison and even if he wasn’t, he would not be the kind of man your parents would ever approve of.
But he had so much goodness in him. She hated the possibility that all his goodness might be lost. She’d
hoped she could make a difference. It was her Christian duty.
That was what she told herself. And it was all truth. But there was a deeper truth she could not hide from. She had secretly hoped he had been charmed by her letter and would fall in love with her. Foolish and unrealistic, she knew, but a tiny part of her had hoped anyway.
She hated to think that Meredith felt this way, too, crushed and hurting. It was what happened when the fairy tale did not come true. With a sigh, she hiked the strap of her book bag higher on her shoulder and set off down the boardwalk. She had better get moving. She still had Ma’s medicine to fetch before heading home.
Every plod of Sweetie’s hoofs on the road home reminded Meredith of the man who was missing. It wasn’t Shane who sat silent in the seat in front of her, guiding the horse home. It wasn’t Shane who drew to a halt in front of the house and held out his hand to help her down. The shadowed depths of the barn did not hide him from her sight. She could not listen for the pad of his step on the walkway or hope for a glimpse of him through the windows as she went about her afternoon. Not even the envelope she clutched in her hand could drag her thoughts from what she had lost.
He was false, she reminded herself. He was not what he’d seemed. But none of that could diminish her grief.
“I’m gonna see if Cook has any cookies to spare.”
Minnie dropped her things with a plop on the entry table. “Want some?”
“Not today, cutie.” She pushed the dark feelings down and set her things by the front door. “You go on.”
“Molasses cookies are my new favorite.” Minnie bounced away, skirts flouncing, china knickknacks tinkling on their glass shelves as she skipped by.
“Wilhelmina!” Mama’s voice traveled through the reaches of the house. “How many times do I have to tell you? A lady does not run around like a herd of stampeding cattle.”
“I’m not running.” Minnie bounded through the dining room and out of sight. “I’m skipping.”
Poor Mama, working so hard to make ladies out of them, but it was an uphill battle. Meredith eyed the path to the kitchen, where sanctuary awaited her along with a cup of milk and a plate of cookies, but she was a young woman and nearly a high-school graduate. She would behave as one. Clutching her contract, she went in search of her mother.
“Meredith, do come in.” In the sun-filled library, Mama looked up from the pages of her book. “The ladies of the club chose Mark Twain for our next meeting, but he’s entirely too outrageous. Hardly proper at all. I don’t know what the world is coming to.”
“It is a wonder,” Meredith quipped, slipping into the overstuffed chair opposite her mother. Sunlight poured through the windows and winked in the pond outside, where ducks gathered and quacked, pleased that the trainers had gone from the nearby corral. Did
everything have to remind her of Shane? She briefly squeezed her eyes shut, praying to forget him.
“Do you have a headache, my dear girl?” Mama slapped her book closed and dropped it with a thud onto an end table. “I’ll have Sadie made a compress and some soothing tea.”
“I’m troubled, Mama. That is all.” No poultice was going to help with that. She toyed with the edge of the envelope, gathering her courage. “Mr. Olaff offered me a teaching position today.”
“And I assume you did not turn him down on the spot?”
“No, this is the employment contract.” She ignored the horror on her mother’s face and tried to see the concern there. At least Shane had been right about that. She was blessed to have parents who fought so hard to protect her. “I’m asking for your blessing, Mama.”
“I simply cannot give it. A daughter of mine working? It’s nonsense. You have everything you need right here.” She drew herself up, a general in charge of the battle she had resolved to win. “I forbid it. What will Leticia Bell say? Or the Wolfs? Or the Davises? It is not seemly. A young lady does not hire herself out like a teamster’s horse for wages. I refuse to allow it.”
“Mama, don’t you see? I need your approval.” She set the envelope aside and took her mother’s hand. “I’m no longer a little girl. I’m all grown up. You’ve done your job.”
“It’s not done until you are suitably married, young lady.” Mama’s grip strengthened, holding on, her chin up, her tone nearly shrill, clinging so very tightly to what was past.
Falling in love with Shane had changed her. She could see that now. She understood something she’d never been able to fathom in her mother’s overprotective, rigid ways. How very much Mama treasured being a mother, raising her little girls and all the happy times they’d shared. How hard it must be to let that go, as time demands by rolling forward, changing little girls to young women.
“You need to allow me to do this, Mama.” She did not bother to hide the abiding affection she had and always would have for her mother. “It’s time to let me take the love and the lessons you have given me and make my own way. I promise you, wherever I go it will always lead me back to you.”
“I do not think I can bear it.” Her mother’s lower lip trembled, a rare show of emotion. “You will stay right here where I can take care of you. I demand it.”
“I promise to come home for Sunday dinner as often as I can.” Her vision blurred. Those pesky tears had returned. She blinked hard, but they fell anyway, one by one rolling down her cheek. “I love you, Mama.”
“I love you, my precious Meredith.” A single tear betrayed her. “Whatever will I do without you? We will need to get you a sensible horse, one that will not shy at the slightest thing. Perhaps you should take my Miss Bradshaw, she is a very respectable mare. We shall have your father order you your own buggy straight away.”
“Thank you.” Her throat closed, overwhelmed with gratitude and emotions too powerful to dare speak of.
“I just wish you had more traditional ambitions.” Her mother sniffled, swiped at her eyes and sat up straight,
in control again. “Are you sure there is no way you can forgive the Connelly boy?”