Pawn (13 page)

She waved her hand dismissively. Celia smirked, and Greyson eyed me with his brow furrowed. I didn’t wait to find out what his problem was, and I turned sharply on my heel before storming off.

A guard trailed after us as Knox walked me back to my suite. He said nothing until we reached the door, and when he did, his voice was laced with amusement.

“Impressive,” he said, bending down to brush his lips against my cheek. “No one ever stands up to Augusta and lives.”

I wasn’t entirely sure he was joking. “Yeah, well, guess you were right about how much they need me. See you when she decides my sentence is up.”

I wanted to add something about Benjy, to tell him to take care of him, but the guard moved closer. Instead I gave Knox a small smile and slipped inside Lila’s suite, closing the door behind me.

Benjy’s life was in his hands now, and if he did something to get him killed, Elsewhere would be the least of his problems.

* * *

I was locked in my suite for two days straight. Servants brought me my meals on silver platters, and I had an endless amount of movies and music to keep me entertained, but that didn’t make it any better. More than once I thought about using the necklace Greyson had given me to pick the lock, but I didn’t want to risk letting Augusta know I still had a way to escape.

There was nothing I could do for Benjy anyway. The day of his seventeenth birthday, I spent the morning staring out the window, wondering where he was and if he would get a VI. No matter what Knox and Celia had planned, they couldn’t predict every variable, and anything could happen to him. I wanted to believe them badly, but all I could do about it now was hope.

Even though I didn’t use the lock pick to escape, I did use the air vent to try to find out what was going on. After my meals, I waited until a servant took my tray away, which guaranteed me at least a little time to spy on Knox before anyone else checked in on me. Augusta never bothered, but Celia knocked a couple of times. We exchanged nothing more than a few words, but it seemed to be enough to reassure her I wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon. And even though I knew it was unlikely, I half hoped Greyson would stop by again.

No amount of crawling through the vents told me what was going on with Benjy, though. Knox never mentioned his name, and I began to wonder if he was on Daxton’s side after all. Maybe he’d only said those things to keep me from walking all the way to the Heights. I almost dropped into the room and asked him, but my escape route was too precious for me to give up yet. He’d asked me to trust him, and I would until he gave me reason not to.

On the evening of the second day, as I lay flat in the vent listening to Knox mumble to himself, I heard his door open. A second later it shut, and the click of the lock was so loud it echoed up through the vent. I peeked through the grate in time to see Knox remove his reading glasses. “What is it?”

“Lockdown’s nearly over.” Celia. I let out a silent sigh of relief. At least I wouldn’t be cooped up much longer. “We won’t have much more time.”

Time for what? Did she mean Benjy?

“It can wait,” he said. “It doesn’t need to be done immediately.”

“Yes, it does,” she said. “You know what’s at stake. As soon as Daxton rallies the country again, we’ll lose our window.”

“I already told you, the price was too high. We’ll have to wait anyway.”

I strained to hear every word. The guns he was going to buy—would he finally explain why?

“We have enough for the first wave, if it comes to that,” she said. “But we can do this without bloodshed and with the country on our side the moment we tell them Lila’s dead.”

My mouth dropped open. Augusta and Daxton would kill her for sure. And probably me, as well.

“I know,” said Knox. “Believe me, I know. But the moment we release that information, there will be no taking it back. She’ll be gone, even if we have Kitty—”

“Kitty isn’t a factor in this,” said Celia.

“Yes, she is. You said it yourself—she’s part of this now. And we have the chance to make the best of it. She can touch thousands, Celia. Millions, if everything goes according to plan. She knows better than any of us what the people go through. She can help us, and you’d be an idiot to waste that.”

Something inside me swelled as Knox spoke. I’d never been useful before, and it was an odd feeling to be needed. But most of all, he was sticking up for me when he didn’t know I was listening. Any question I had about whether or not I could trust him disappeared.

“Fine,” said Celia. “We’ll see what Kitty can do. That won’t change what’s going to happen the moment lockdown’s over, though. They’ve been booking an arena in every big city since they killed my daughter. By the time the tour’s over, we’ll lose what small advantage we have. He’ll convince everyone that everything’s fine and we’re the enemy. We’ve worked so hard, Knox—Lila worked so hard. We can’t let him win.”

“So what?” said Knox. “Are you saying we do this tonight?”

“Yes. It’s the only chance we’ll have before he leaves.” She paused. “I’ll need the syringes.”

I heard a drawer open, and Knox handed her a small black bag. “Purple’s for you. How are you going to give him the other one?”

“You, of course,” she said, and Knox snorted.

“No.”

“Knox—”

“
No.
I got the product. You figure out how to make it happen. I’ll do a lot of things for you, but this isn’t one of them.”

Before Celia could reply, there was another knock on the door. Knox hastily put his reading glasses back on, and he and Celia exchanged a look.

“Go in the other room with him and close the door,” he said quietly. “I’ll fill you in after. Make sure not to bother him. He can’t know he’s part of this, too.”

Celia disappeared, and after a few seconds, Knox called out, “Enter.”

I tried to see who it was, but the grate blocked my view of the door. “Sir,” said a booming voice that could only have belonged to a guard. “Lockdown is over.”

“Thank you,” he said, shuffling a few papers. “When you tell Lila, will you inform her that I would like to see her?”

I didn’t wait around to hear the guard’s answer. I slid backward through the vent as fast as I could, dropping into Lila’s suite right as he knocked. I hastily pushed the end table back, wincing as it scraped against the floor. Wiping the sweat off my forehead, I called for the guard to come in.

A key turned in the lock, and the door opened. “Miss Hart,” he said. “Lockdown is over. Mr. Creed also asked for your company as soon as you are willing.”

I lay curled up on the couch, trying my hardest to keep my breathing steady. “Thanks. I’ll be right there.”

I splashed some cold water on my face, but I was too curious to bother changing out of my pajamas. Once I’d dried off, I shuffled down the hallway to Knox’s room and knocked.

“Enter,” he called, and I slipped inside. Just like before, he sat behind the desk, his reading glasses perched on his nose.

“If you’re going to tell me lockdown’s over, I already know,” I said. Knox shook his head and gestured for me to close the door. I frowned, but obeyed. “I can’t go with you anywhere. I’m still in my pajamas.”

“Yes, Lila, I realize that.” He removed his glasses and rubbed his face. “Would you please allow me to speak?”

He’d called me Lila. Someone else must have been listening. I crossed my arms, annoyed but silent.

“Thank you,” he said. “Now, I am pleased you were told lockdown is over, but that was not my purpose in inviting you here tonight. Instead, I would like to introduce you to my new assistant. Mr. Doe,” he called. “If you would join me.”

A tall boy with red hair stepped through a door on the other side of the suite, and the room seemed to close in on me until I could barely breathe.

Benjy.

XI
Benjy

He’d cut his hair. It had always hung past his ears, but now it was cropped close, making his jaw look stronger. Benjy was also cleaner than I’d ever seen him before, and the clothes he wore could easily have come straight from Knox’s closet.

I had thought they would find him a job far away from here, or assign a guard to watch his back. But Benjy, here in Somerset, in the same house as Daxton and Augusta, who would happily kill him to get me to cooperate—

This
was Knox’s idea of protecting him?

I was halfway across the room before I stopped myself. He didn’t know it was me. I was a stranger to him, but he was the same Benjy I’d known all my life. Even the way he walked was the same, his steps full of purpose and direction. But there was something in his expression I didn’t recognize. Exhaustion, maybe, or resignation.

“Benjamin,” said Knox. “This is my fiancée, Lila. Lila, this is Mr. Benjamin Doe.”

My tongue felt heavy in my mouth, and it took me a moment to speak. “Hi, Benjamin.”

He offered me a smile and a polite nod, but there was no happiness behind it. “Miss Hart. It’s an honor to meet you.”

“You, too,” I said faintly, unable to tear my eyes away from him. He took a stack of books from Knox’s desk and set them down on the coffee table. “How—uh, how long have you worked for Knox?”

“Benjamin started today,” said Knox. “I thought since he and I will be working so closely together from here on out, you two should be introduced.”

I itched to walk to the couch and sit beside him. “Did you just take your test?” I said, trying hard to keep my voice even.

Benjy nodded, but he didn’t offer any information other than that. I looked at Knox, and he finally met my eyes.

“Mr. Doe is a VI,” he said. “Quite admirable for someone with his background.”

I blinked rapidly. No matter what happened to me, he would have a chance. He wasn’t stuck in the life I would have had if I’d stayed a III.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to Celia,” said Knox. “I will return shortly.”

As he passed me on his way out the door, he leaned in toward me. To my horror I thought he was going to kiss me in front of Benjy, but instead he whispered, “Tell him.”

And then Benjy and I were alone. My hands shook, and I had to cross my arms to hide them. I knew I had to say something, but with the way Benjy was hunched over his work, he didn’t seem the least bit interested in me.

He had to know, though. I couldn’t let him go on thinking I was really dead, especially not with the danger he was in by being here. He’d have a better chance of protecting himself if he knew. Daxton and Augusta had stolen my entire life out from under me; I wasn’t going to let them take Benjy’s, too.

Stepping toward the couch, I cleared my throat, but he still didn’t look up. That didn’t make any sense. No matter how moody Benjy felt, he was always friendly.

“So.” My voice sounded hoarse. “How do you like it here so far?”

There were probably a thousand other things I could have said—including spitting out the truth—but I didn’t know how to tell him. I needed him to look at me, even if all he saw was Lila.

“It’s nice, thank you,” he said. When it became obvious he wasn’t going to say anything else, I gathered my courage and sat on the couch near him. I was tempted to reach out and touch him, but I clasped my hands together in my lap.

“Benjy?” I said, dropping Lila’s uppity accent so I sounded like myself. He froze. “Could you please look at me?”

When he did, his eyes were rimmed with red. “I’m sorry, Miss Hart. I don’t mean to be rude. You remind me of someone I used to know.”

I hesitated. The longer I waited to tell him, the more I would risk him being angry with me when I finally confessed. He was obviously upset, and this wasn’t a game. “I remind you of Kitty Doe, don’t I?” I said. “She was your girlfriend, and she disappeared on her seventeenth birthday.”

Benjy looked away. “She didn’t disappear. She was killed.”

I set my hand on his arm. “No, she wasn’t.”

“Yes, she was,” he said, but he didn’t move away from me.

“No,” I repeated softly. “I wasn’t.”

My heart hammered as I waited for him to react. He was still for several seconds, and the silence overwhelmed me, threatening to destroy everything if we both stayed quiet. Maybe he hadn’t heard me right.

“Benjy, please. I know I look like Lila, but it’s me.”

He jerked away as if I’d burned him. “Don’t,” he said sharply. “I don’t know how you know about her, but if this is some sick joke—”

“It’s not.” I faced him, this time keeping my hands to myself. “Listen to me—I don’t know how much time we’ll have before Knox comes back or someone else shows up, so please let me tell you what happened.”

He said nothing, his body rigid and his expression guarded. Taking his silence as permission to continue, I took a breath and told him everything that had happened since the night of my seventeenth birthday. How Daxton had bought me and offered me a VII, how they’d killed Tabs and Masked me to look like Lila, the lessons Celia and Knox had given me, what Elsewhere was and how Daxton had forced me to watch Nina die—everything except the deal I’d made with Celia and what had happened at the club with Knox.

By the time I finished, Benjy was staring at his hands. It took him several moments to speak, and when he did, it was in a shaky voice, as if he was struggling to keep himself under control.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” he said. “How do I know this isn’t some prank?”

I bit my lip. The dozen different ways I’d come up with to prove who I was vanished, and all I could think about was that day at the market after I’d been marked with a III.

“On my birthday, you gave me a present,” I said. “It was a purple flower from a vendor selling perfumes. A violet. You said—you said they never gave up, like me.”

I saw a spark of recognition in his eyes, and I pushed on.

“The first time you kissed me, it was the middle of January, and you were trying to teach me how to read for the zillionth time. It was a kid’s book about a spider, and you were trying to show me how the patterns in the letters formed words. You were so excited when I read it back to you that you kissed me.” I smiled faintly at the memory. “It wasn’t until you tried to show me with another book that you realized all I’d done was memorize the first one when you read it to me.”

To my relief, Benjy smiled as well, but it wasn’t his usual boyish grin. Instead, like everything else about him, it was pained. “That wasn’t the first time we kissed,” he said.

“No, but it was the first time you kissed me instead of the other way around.”

He turned away and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. I heard a strange choking sound, and when he finally faced me, I realized he was crying.

“Kitty,” he whispered. “This isn’t possible.”

Everything in me wanted to move closer to him, to pull him into a hug and never let go, but I didn’t. Not yet. “I’m sorry—I tried to get to you, but they’re watching everything I do, and—and I knew you’d see Lila instead of me and—”

“Don’t apologize,” he said, and he brushed his fingers against my cheekbone, an inch from my eye. “I see you now.”

I let out a soft sob. “I’ve missed you.”

Benjy wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest. No one had held me like this since I’d become Lila, and everything bad that had happened in the past month faded away. For a few golden moments, everything was all right again.

I don’t know who kissed who first, but even though they weren’t my lips anymore, it was like I’d never disappeared. There was a hunger to his kiss that was new, but everything else about it was distinctly Benjy. That moment of pretend in the club with Knox had been hot, but this—I was home.

Someone cleared their throat, and I jumped guiltily. Expecting Knox, I looked over Benjy’s shoulder, but when I saw who was standing there, I paled.

Celia.

“I see you’ve told him,” she said, her smooth voice sending a chill down my spine. Benjy gripped my hand, and I squeezed back, trying to reassure him.

“Knox said I could. If you have a problem with it, take it up with him.”

“I have no problem with it,” she said, stepping inside and closing the door. “In fact, I’m delighted to meet you, Benjy. I’ve heard quite a lot about you from Kitty.”

Benjy nodded respectfully, but his shoulders tightened. “It’s a pleasure, ma’am. I hope you’ve only heard good things.”

“Of course,” said Celia. “I’m sure there are only good things to tell. I also hear you’re quite trustworthy—is that true?”

“Yes,” I said flatly. “He knows how dangerous it’ll be if anyone finds out he knows.”

“Good. I’m pleased you both understand what’s at stake.” She focused on me. “Kitty, darling, why don’t I give you two another moment, and once you’re finished, you come see me in my suite? I’ve got something I’d like to discuss with you.”

I nodded weakly. A discussion with Celia right now couldn’t be a good thing.

She slipped back through the door, leaving me and Benjy alone again. He laced his fingers in mine. “I don’t trust her.”

“She’s up to something,” I said, and with a sigh, I told him about the deal we’d made. About how I’d agreed to continue Lila’s work.

Benjy stood and started to pace in front of the couch. “Do you realize what could happen? I’m not going to let you do this to yourself.”

“You don’t have a choice,” I said. “I don’t, either. They know how much you matter to me. When the Shields went to the group home to find me on my birthday—”

Benjy stopped. “I told them where you’d gone when they came back. I thought if they caught up with you in time, you wouldn’t have to—you know, and they had no proof you were stealing...”

He trailed off, but he didn’t have to finish. “I know,” I said. “I’m glad you did. If you hadn’t told them, you and Nina would have both—”

I couldn’t make myself say it. Benjy blinked hard. “She’s really gone?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice breaking. “I didn’t know. If they find out I told you everything, they’ll send you there, too.” I paused. “We have to pretend we don’t know each other. You can’t be—happy around me or even hint that you suspect. I don’t want anything to happen to you, okay?”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you, either.” The seconds ticked by, but finally he nodded. “All right. We can do this, but I swear if they hurt you—”

“They won’t, and if they do, then we’ll figure something out. We’ll run away if we have to.” I glanced toward Knox’s closet. “Benjy, if you ever need to leave—”

A knock echoed through the room, and a moment later Knox entered. “I see you two have become better acquainted,” he said, heading back to his desk. “Celia wanted me to remind you that she’d like to see you.”

“Right.” I stood, and without warning, Benjy caught me in a giant bear hug and kissed me deeply. Unless Knox gave us another moment alone, it would likely be our last for a long time.

“Hey,” said Knox. “That’s my fiancée you’re kissing.”

I could have killed him for that. Benjy immediately let go of me, and my insides twisted as I watched him return to the other room without once looking back.

I glowered at Knox. “Thanks for that.”

“You’d better get used to it,” he said. “No one else is going to be so forgiving if they find you kissing my assistant.”

“Yeah, we know.” I stormed toward the door. Before I yanked it open, I added, “Why did you even bring him here?”

“Because I thought you would be glad to see him again.”

“Yeah, but Daxton and Augusta know he’s here, don’t they?”

He sighed and removed his glasses. “They won’t hurt him.”

“As long as I behave,” I said. “Except you and Celia are asking me to do the exact opposite.”

“You will be protected,” he promised. “As will Benjy.”

“Just like you protected Lila?” I said. He was quiet for a long moment.

“If Daxton and Augusta wanted to kill him, no bunker in the world would keep him safe forever,” he said. “This way, he gets to live his life—a charmed life at that, as a VI and the future minister of ranking’s most trusted adviser. If we all survive this, he will have more opportunities than he ever dreamed of before today.”

“And if we don’t?” I said tightly.

“Then he would have died no matter where he was. At least now he knows the stakes. He knows you survived. And you will both have each other for however long circumstances allow.”

I remained still as a silent war raged within me. I would never be with Benjy like I’d planned, not anymore. But he was here now. He knew I wasn’t dead, and I would get to see him as often as I liked. And despite my anger, I knew Knox had a point. No one could hide from the government, not forever. Benjy deserved the chance to live the life he’d earned with his VI, and no matter what happened, I would do everything I could to make sure Daxton never got to him like he’d gotten to Tabs and Nina.

“Thanks,” I said, forcing the words out through my clenched jaw. “For letting me see him. You’re
sure
he’ll be safe here?”

“Safer here than someplace where no one’s watching his back,” said Knox. “And you’re welcome.”

At last I left. Before heading to Celia’s suite, I returned to mine and changed out of my nightclothes. My mind raced with the possibilities of how Daxton and Augusta might use Benjy against me, and by the time I knocked on Celia’s door, I had to take a deep breath to calm myself down. I would tell him about the secret passageway the first chance I got. At least then we’d both have a way out.

“There you are,” said Celia. “Come on in.”

Just like my suite, hers was luxuriously decorated. Everything from the couches to the carpet was a rich purple, and framed pictures of her, Lila, and a man I didn’t recognize were everywhere. I sat down on the sofa and tried not to look nervous.

“I don’t need to tell you the danger Benjy is in,” she said, sitting across from me and pouring herself a cup of tea. She offered me one, and I shook my head. “When Knox approached my brother about taking him on as his assistant, Daxton was thrilled with the idea.”

My blood ran cold. “Knox said he was safe here.”