Pawn (19 page)

So I wasn’t imagining the risks after all. The game had changed, and my time was limited. “If—” I swallowed, unable to look at Benjy. “If they decide to get rid of me, don’t let them send me Elsewhere, okay? Even if you have to pull the trigger yourself.”

Beside me, Benjy stiffened, but I tightened my grip on his hand. I would rather have died here than be hunted like an animal.

Pain clouded Knox’s expression. “Kitty, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” I said. “You can and you will. Say it.”

He closed his eyes, and after a long moment, he nodded. “I won’t let them send you Elsewhere,” he said. “Even if I have to pull the trigger myself.”

Benjy made a strange choking noise, and before I realized what he was doing, he let go of me and stormed into the hallway. I stood paralyzed, wanting to follow, but I couldn’t. As much as it hurt, letting him go now was the kindest thing I could do for him. At least then he would have time to prepare.

“Thank you,” I said to Knox. “Really.”

“Don’t thank me for promising to kill you. Thank me for doing everything I can to make sure it doesn’t come to that.”

I forced a small smile. “I will when all of this is over.”

Any hope I had left was fading fast, though, and I needed to start preparing myself for the inevitable as well, no matter how many promises Knox made. He couldn’t control the outcome, and neither could I. But we could both control the way I died.

* * *

Sometime during the month she’d been away, Lila had cut her hair above her shoulders, and the woman Augusta sent to even out our appearances cut mine to match. I’d never had it that short before, and my head felt strangely weightless. I could barely stop touching it long enough for her to put on what little makeup was supposedly necessary to hide any other differences between us. I couldn’t see them, and I doubted the public would, either, but Augusta was adamant. We had to look identical.

By the time a guard led us to the drawing room, Augusta was there with a small camera crew. As we entered side by side, dressed in the same soft gray sweaters and black pants, the reporters gawked at us. I kept my head down, too worried about everything else that was going on to bother with them. Would Augusta get rid of me as soon as the cameras stopped rolling, or would she make sure Greyson was safe first? Or did she know she could never control Lila and I was her only shot?

Was I going to die today or not?

I swallowed my questions as a member of the crew positioned Lila and me on either side of Augusta. The same crew member told me to cross my legs, and Augusta agreed. There had to be some differences between us so Celia didn’t think it was some kind of camera trick.

Once we were settled, Augusta handed us both cue cards to read. I stared at mine blankly, unable to sort out the words, but Knox knelt down next to me before the cameras started rolling.

“It says, ‘My name is Madison, and I have been working as Lila’s body double for the past three years,’” he said. “That’s all. Got it?”

I nodded, and he patted me on the shoulder. A cameraman called for him to get out of the way, and he moved to the side, still within my range of vision. He gave me a small smile, but I couldn’t return it.

Bright light flooded the room, and I flinched. The same cameraman counted down, and I threaded my fingers together and struggled to keep from fidgeting. Beside me, Augusta sat up straighter and lifted her chin, and as the countdown reached one, she took a breath.

And then we were live to the entire nation, and there was no going back.

XVII
Standoff

The plea lasted less than two minutes. Augusta didn’t say a word about Lila’s supposed death, nor the fact that I’d been masquerading as her for weeks. I awkwardly said my only line when the cameraman pointed at me, and that was that. No member of the public had enough pieces of the puzzle to figure out why I had to be there, but it wouldn’t save me. They knew now that there was someone out there who looked exactly like Lila, and she would be scrutinized for months until they were sure it was her.

Once it was over, Lila and I returned to her suite to wait for Celia to respond, and Knox trailed after us.

“This better work,” said Lila.

“It will,” said Knox, and he set his hand on my back. “You did a good job.”

I started to reply, but Lila beat me to it. “It wasn’t exactly hard.”

He squeezed my shoulder, and I said nothing. Whether or not half the country was convinced Lila was some kind of divine savior, she was still a Hart.

Once we entered the suite, the guards shut the door behind us, and Lila stretched and cracked her back. “I claim the big bed,” she said, heading toward her bedroom. She tugged on the knob, but it didn’t budge. “Please tell me someone has the key.”

Right. I’d locked it to make the guards think I was asleep while Knox and I had sneaked out. I slipped past her, and using the necklace Greyson had given me, I unlocked it for her. As soon as it opened, she waltzed inside and closed the door behind her, and I heard the click of the lock once more.

“Is she always like this?” I said when I returned to the living room.

“This is one of her good days,” said Knox. “Try to get some sleep while you can.”

I curled up on the couch instead of heading into her second bedroom, but after a few fitful attempts to nap, I gave up. Knox sat nearby, staring into the crackling fire. Occasionally he stood and tended to it with one of the pokers, but we spent several hours in silence.

Whatever happened, there was nothing I could do to stop it now. I’d agreed to this, and I had no choice but to see it through. I clung to the hope that everything would go according to plan and in the end, they would still need me, but I knew hope alone wouldn’t do it. Augusta had to see that I was more easily controlled than Lila. She had to recognize that this short life was better than the long one that waited for me on the streets as a fugitive III, and because of that, I would stay. But Lila wouldn’t, not for long. Not when she still had a choice.

However, Augusta had also lost all of her family in one fell swoop, and I was sure that when she was given the choice between a real Hart and a fake, I would lose every time.

“Can you make sure Lila gets this when it’s over?” I said to Knox, touching my necklace. It was rightfully Lila’s, but I couldn’t bring myself to give it up. Not yet. “Greyson gave it to me thinking I was her, and—she should have it.”

“Of course,” he said. It was well past midnight, and the flames were dying. I glanced up at the air vent in the corner of the room. It would be easy to escape now, but without knowing where Benjy was or that Greyson was all right, I couldn’t bring myself to leave.

“Knox?” I said softly. “I’m scared.”

His jaw tensed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “Yeah, me, too.”

“What if Celia isn’t willing to make the trade? What if she decides Lila isn’t worth it?”

“She will,” he said. “She loves Lila more than her own life. She made mistakes, manipulating Lila into being the face of her rebellion—”

“Lila really didn’t believe in what she was saying?” I said. “Even after seeing what Elsewhere was really like?”

“She did,” he said slowly. “But when you live the life of a Hart, it’s hard to see past your own privilege. After what happened to her father, Lila wanted to help her mother, and Celia is persuasive. It wasn’t worth dying for, though. The idea is to stop the murders, not to get more people killed.”

“And you helped her fake her death?”

He rubbed his face wearily. “I should have told Celia. I know that now, but Lila was so damn scared, and Celia would have gone after her if I’d told her the truth.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said. “Lila shouldn’t have run away in the first place.”

“What should I have done instead?” said a voice behind me. Dressed in pajamas, Lila moved into the space between us, blocking Knox from my view. “Tell me, Kitty, since you seem to have it all figured out—what else was I supposed to do?”

I sat up. “You should have stayed. If you didn’t want to talk to all those people, then you should have told your mother no. Then no one would have wanted you dead, and you wouldn’t have had to run away.”

“And you wouldn’t have my face,” she said. “And Greyson wouldn’t be kidnapped.”

“Exactly.”

She took a step closer to me, and behind her, Knox stood, but he made no move to pull her away. “I love my people,” she said in a trembling voice. “Maybe I didn’t want to risk my life, but I wanted to help them. I just thought there were better ways to do it.”

“How can you help them now?” I said. “What good are you holed up in a bunker?”

Her jaw tightened, and anyone in their right mind would’ve backed off with that wild look in her eyes, but I didn’t care anymore. I was as good as dead anyway, and when that happened, I couldn’t think of anything worse than Lila running away again and abandoning all of the people who counted on her.

“You’re no better than my mother,” she said, her eyes watering. “Not everyone’s prepared to die for the greater good, all right? We can’t all be heroes. I do my part down there, and no one has to know. I had no idea they were going to have someone Masked, and I’m sorry they put you through that, but that isn’t my fault. I thought if everyone believed I was dead, it would have made me a martyr. I thought it would fuel the rebellion. They know I’m alive now, though—the entire world does, and they also know their leader abandoned them and kidnapped Greyson. Some of them love him as much as they love me, you know. Do you really think they’re going to be happy about this?”

“Wait,” I cut in, my head spinning with everything she wasn’t saying. “Who do you mean by
they?
”

Lila rolled her eyes. “They had you giving speeches and everything, and they didn’t
tell
you?”

“Didn’t tell me what?” I said, looking at Knox over Lila’s shoulder. He focused on the carpet, not meeting my eye. “Knox?”

“Celia thought it best if we kept you in the dark as much as possible,” he said. “We didn’t know you, and this isn’t something you shout from the rooftops.”

Lila snorted and rubbed her cheeks with her sleeves. “What he’s trying to tell you is that my mother is the head of the Blackcoats, and he’s her first lieutenant.”

Silence filled the room, and I stood there dumbly, my mind racing. It made sense, didn’t it? With how much Celia hated her family, what they’d done to her, her attempt to kill Daxton—I didn’t know enough about the Blackcoats to decide if I’d been an idiot for missing it or not, but with the way Lila stared at me, I felt like one.

This went way beyond sibling rivalry between Celia and Daxton.

I took a deep breath, trying to make sense of the knot of words on the tip of my tongue. “So those bombings—all those people dying—”

“I didn’t mean it, okay?” said Lila, her eyes overflowing again. “My mother never goes into the bunkers, so Knox decided he could hide me in one close by. He told the other lieutenants to keep their mouths shut, and I didn’t know that this would happen.” She sniffed and looked at Knox. “Mother won’t be happy when she finds out you hid me, you know.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you really have to tell her, Lila? Everyone has enough to worry about already. I’d rather not have to worry about Celia killing me, as well.”

“You make sure I get to crawl back under my rock, and you won’t have to worry about it.”

“He already promised he’d help you,” I said. “You don’t need to blackmail him into it.”

She smiled ruefully. “Haven’t you heard? It’s our family’s way of saying ‘I love you.’”

“Lila,” said Knox sharply, and she gave him a withering look. He turned back to me. “Kitty, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but—”

“You lied to me,” I said. “You told me you had nothing to do with this before Lila died.”

“You did?” said Lila, eyebrow raised.

Knox opened and shut his mouth. “I—”

Without warning, the door burst open, and Augusta marched into the suite. I paled. Had she been listening?

If she had, her expression didn’t show it. Instead she clasped her hands together and looked down her nose at the three of us. “Good, you’re all up. Get dressed. We’ve received word from Celia, and we’re making the trade at dawn.”

Lila swore under her breath and stormed back into the bedroom. I stood motionless, and Augusta raised one perfectly arched eyebrow.

“You, too, Kitty.”

My insides clenched uncomfortably. “I thought you were trading Lila for Greyson,” I said, my throat like sandpaper.

“We are.”

“Then I’m not going,” I said. “You have Lila. You don’t need me.”

Augusta took a step toward me, and with monumental effort, I stood my ground. “I thought you might be difficult, which is why I have another deal for you. You can take it or leave it, but know that I do not bluff.”

“What, going to offer me my freedom if I do this one last thing for you? I know what
freedom
means, and I’m not interested in being sent Elsewhere.”

“What about your dear friend?” said Augusta. “Benjy, is it?”

My blood turned to ice. “You can’t.”

“I already have. Benjy has been taken to a secure location, and he will be released following the exchange. Whether he continues to work for Lennox or is sent Elsewhere all depends on your willingness to participate.”

Cold rage spilled through me, spreading from the tips of my fingers to my toes until I was numb with fury. I’d let them get away with destroying my life and stripping me of my identity, but if Augusta sent Benjy Elsewhere—

No. It wasn’t going to happen. Even if it meant stepping in front of whatever bullet was coming my way and smiling when it hit me, if it gave Benjy the life he deserved, I would do it.

“Do we have an accord?” said Augusta, and I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Very good. Now do as I say and meet us downstairs in five minutes. Knox, I trust you will see they make it on time.”

“Of course,” he said, and with that Augusta left. As soon as the door closed behind her, Knox touched my arm. “Whatever this is, Kitty, I won’t let anything happen to him.”

I shrugged his hand off and walked away. “You already have.”

* * *

Knox wasn’t allowed to come with us. The helicopter waiting behind the mansion only seated five passengers: Augusta, Lila, me, and two guards. As we lifted off the ground, I pressed my forehead against the window and watched Knox grow smaller as he raised his hand in a silent goodbye.

I didn’t return it. It wasn’t his fault that Benjy was in danger, but he was the one who’d come up with this stupid plan in the first place, and if anything happened to Benjy, I would never forgive him.

The helicopter soared over the city, and I stared down at the unfamiliar buildings. From the street I was sure I would have recognized them, but from the sky, they looked foreign. For a moment I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what my life would have been like if I’d gotten a IV. I wouldn’t have stolen that orange or had to leave the city and Benjy behind; I would never have followed Tabs to the brothel; and Daxton would never have gotten his slimy hands on me. If only I’d done better on the test, my life would have been unrecognizable, and Benjy would have been safe as a VI in a government building somewhere far away from Augusta.

I spent most of the trip trying to figure out what she was planning. Five passengers meant one of us wouldn’t be returning, and somehow I didn’t think it would be a guard. Maybe she intended to keep her bargain with Celia, and I would be the one sitting next to Greyson on the way back. Or maybe she was going to kill me and blame it on Celia so Lila would be on the flight home. I bit my lip and pictured a reporter talking about the heroic death of Lila’s body double, protecting her from harm. Maybe they would make up an elaborate story about how I’d jumped in front of Celia’s bullet. Maybe I would even get a funeral.

The helicopter touched down in a clearing surrounded by mountains. The sky was the kind of gray that announced the approaching dawn, and this high up, there was already a swirl of snow in the wind. I drew my coat tighter around my body, but it didn’t help keep out the biting cold.

“You’re sure this is it?” said Lila as we stood together beside the helicopter. It blocked out the wind from one side, but it was still freezing. I shivered and slipped my hands inside my sleeves, but when I glanced at Lila, the cold didn’t seem to bother her.

“Yes, I am sure,” said Augusta, checking her watch. “It is not quite dawn. Give them a moment.”

I searched for any sign of Celia or Greyson, but I only saw bare trees and frozen ground. “How could they survive out here?” I said, trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

“The family has a cabin a few miles from here,” said Lila. “There are hiking trails all along the mountain. I don’t get why you didn’t send guards to flush them out, Grandmother.”

“Because I don’t trust your mother not to kill Greyson,” said Augusta. “Now hush.”

My feet grew numb while we waited, and I had to stamp them against the ground to get the blood flowing again. It smelled like winter up here, crisp and cold and dry, and I breathed deeply in an effort to keep myself from panicking.

At last, when we’d waited so long I thought my fingers would fall off, one of the guards pointed to something in the distance. “There,” he said. “I see them.”

Augusta motioned toward us. “Girls, on either side of me.”

I moved next to her, and this time the numbness that washed over me had nothing to do with the cold. I squinted at the tree line, and finally I saw them: two figures arm in arm trudging over the hard ground, one with dark hair and the other with a knit cap. Celia and Greyson.