Payback (2 page)

‘You’re up early,” Mom says as she comes down the stairs still wearing her bathrobe.

“Yeah…” I consider telling her about my dream, but it still bothers her that I get these dreams and visions. Despite making some baby steps of progress, she has a long way to go before she completely accepts my unusual gift. I figure it will come when she returns fully to God. In the meantime, I need to be patient and careful not to overload her. And I need to pray.

Mom gets her coffee and comes into the living room to join me. “Spring really seems to be here,” she says, looking out the window. “Are you making any plans for summer yet?”

I shrug. “Not really. I mean, sure, I’d love to head to Europe with some girlfriends and have a good time, but I don’t think it’s likely.” I laugh and try not to feel envious that my best friend might be doing just that this summer.

“No, not likely. But I really wish I could give you those things, Sam. I would if I could. But as usual, finances are tight.” She sighs sadly.

“I don’t expect those things,” I say quickly. “In fact, the truth is I don’t think I’m ready for Europe yet. I’ll probably be better off sticking around here. I’ve heard stories about kids my age getting into serious trouble over there.”

She sort of laughs. “You’re not one of
those
kinds of kids, Samantha. You have a level head. I would trust you to go anywhere and not get in trouble.”

“Thanks, Mom. But if that’s true, you have God to thank.”

She nods and takes a sip of coffee.

I can tell my not-so-subtle hint hasn’t hit pay dirt.

“I better get ready for work. Thanks for making coffee.”

“No problem.”

She pauses at the foot of the stairs. “By the way I’m going out with Steven tonight…might be late.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I tease her.

She makes a face. “How about you? Any plans?”

“Olivia wanted to go to a movie. I’m guessing Alex and Conrad will join us.”

Mom smiles now. “That’s nice.”

I want to ask her why she thinks that’s nice. Is it because it alleviates her guilt for spending so much time with Steven lately? Or is it because that makes me seem like a more “normal” girl and that makes her feel relieved? Or is it something else? Those questions could sound as if I’m inviting a fight. And I’m not. I’m just curious.

I’m used to the fact that Mom and I still lead fairly separate lives. I know this is partly due to the demands of her job and of being a single parent. And I can’t help but wonder how different life would be if Dad were still alive. I’m sure everything would be much better if he hadn’t been killed. But I suppose I could be wrong. As unlikely as it seems, it’s possible that things might’ve gone in an even worse direction for our family. For instance, what if my parents were divorced, like so many of my friends’ parents, and I were torn between the two of them? Even so, I’d still be glad to have my dad around.

Maybe it’s better to simply not consider those what-if scenarios. Besides, I need to trust God with the big, impossible-to-understand situations. And He is worthy of my trust. He’s proven this to me time and again.

Still, as I go upstairs to get ready for school, I feel a flicker of resentment about my lonely family life. I mean, it’s not like we
can do anything about Zach being gone. Or Dad for that matter. But not long ago, I had hoped that Mom and I were starting to get closer. We’d just begun doing more things together. We were even talking more. And Mom was trying to work less. Then just as it seemed that my relationship with her was really changing, Steven Lowery stepped into the picture. As a result, I feel slightly pushed aside.

Okay, I know it seems incredibly selfish, not to mention juvenile, to be jealous of Mom’s boyfriend. And it’s hard to admit this, even if only to myself, but I still do resent him…just a little. Yet at the same time, I’m glad for Mom. The truth is, Steven really seems to make her happy In some ways she seems happier than she’s been in years. I’m sure it’s wrong for me to have these negative feelings toward him. I mean, he’s always doing things for her. He buys her things and takes her places. He compliments her on her appearance. And even though she’s ten years older than he is, I know he makes her feel beautiful. She actually told me this just a few days ago.

Seriously
, I scold myself as I get into the shower,
I am a selfish, selfish daughter
I should just grow up. I should be thankful for Steven being in the picture. And I should be happy for Mom. And I should be praying for both of them. After all, it was only last night that Mom said, “Steven is so good…so good for me…He’s almost too good to be real.”

Okay, maybe that’s what bothers me. It could be one of the consequences of working for the police department and solving some pretty hideous crimes—perhaps I’ve gotten a little jaded at the ripe old age of seventeen—but I do believe that when something seems too good to be real, it usually isn’t real.

I
t sounds like a prom,” says Olivia on the way to school. I’m driving today We take turns now that I have my cool little green
Bug.

“I know,” I agree. “I thought maybe a wedding, but this time of year, it really could be a prom.”

“Do you think it’s ours?”

So I describe the girl to her, including the three diamond earrings in her left ear. “But I didn’t recognize her.”

“I’m sure there are kids in school that you wouldn’t recognize, Sam. Brighton is pretty big.”

“Yeah, but this seemed like the kind of girl you’d notice. Like a fairly popular girl, kind of an A-list girl, you know.”

“Oh…”

“And my best guess was that the guy was kind of a jock.”

“Like king and queen of the prom?”

“Sort of like that.”

“But he was dead?”

‘Yeah.”

“Creepy.”

“I know.” I try not to think too much about this image as I drive. It really is creepy I’ve had dreams of other serious things,
including deaths, but something about the blood-splattered formal and the look on that girl’s face just feels more extreme than usual.

“Have you called Detective Hamilton yet?”

“No, Ebony doesn’t usually get to the station until nine. I’ll call her after first period.”

“What a gorgeous day,” Olivia says as I stop for the traffic light. ‘You should open the sunroof, Sam.”

“Good idea.” So I reach up and slide it open. “Woo-hoo!” I shout as I wave my hand in the relatively warm morning air.

“TGIF!” shouts Olivia as she sticks out her hand too.

“It feels almost like summer,” I say as the light turns green.

“Do you realize there’s less than two months of school left?”

“Yeah…my mom was just asking me what I plan to do for summer vacation.”

“I told my mom that I wanted to go to Europe last night, and she said no way unless she went with me.”

“That would be okay, wouldn’t it?” Once again I try not to feel envious of my best friend. I actually think it’s very cool that Olivia’s mom likes doing things with her daughter. I guess I just wish my mom could be more like that. Even with Steven in the picture, I wish she wanted to take time away from him so she and I could do more things together. But there I go being selfish again.

“I guess…” Olivia sighs loudly. “But going to Europe with your mom seems a little lame.”

“Better than not going at all.”

“I suppose. And if Mom goes, at least we’ll stay in nice places, eat good meals, and do some great shopping.”

“That sounds way too fun.”

“Why don’t you come too, Sam?”

“I wish…”

“Why not?”

“Well, for one thing I can’t afford it. But also I’m secretly hoping I can work with the police a little more this summer.”

“Have they asked you?”

“No…but it would sure beat working at the day care again. Not that I don’t like those little rug rats, but doing police work is way more interesting, and now that Ebony has given me some special training and I have this car, well, it’d be fun to put it all to better use.”

I pull into the school parking lot, and as we get out of the car, I notice a blond girl who reminds me of the one in my dream. “Hey, look. Do you know who that is?”

Olivia peers at the girl getting out of a small white car. ‘Yeah, that’s Laura Temple. She’s in my chem class.”

“By any chance does she have three piercings in her left ear?”

Olivia laughs, then gets a somber expression. “I don’t know…but I can check.”

We wait as the girl slowly walks toward us, but as she gets closer and I can see her face more clearly, I know she’s not the girl from last night’s dream. “Never mind,” I say to Olivia as we start walking toward the school. “It’s not her anyway”

“How can you be so sure?”

“It’s just not. The girl in my dream was strikingly pretty. Not that Laura’s a dog or anything, but she’s just not the same girl, okay?”

“What if she has those same earrings?” teased Olivia.

“Then I’ll reconsider.”

“Hey, Sam,” calls Jack as we walk across the street. He’s having what I’m guessing is his last before-school cigarette.

“What’s up?” I pause and smile at him. I know that he’s still getting over Felicity’s death. I think we all are. But in some ways Jack’s opened up since all that happened. Or maybe it’s just that more people started reaching out to him and he realized he still has friends.

“Not much,” he says as he blows out a puff of smoke. “Nice day, huh?”

“Totally,” says Olivia. “Will you be at band practice tomorrow?”

“Uh-huh.” He nods and takes in a long drag.

“I’ll see ya there,” Olivia says as we head into the building.

“Catch ya later,” I call. “Don’t be late for class, Jack.” I hear his sarcastic laugh as I go inside, and I can tell he’s thinking,
Yeah, sure, Since when do I care?
But I hope he’ll start caring. I hope he’ll begin to see that his life has more value than just hanging and acting tough. Still, he’s made some progress. And he’s talking to us. That’s worth a lot.

Olivia and I part ways, and as I navigate the crowded halls, I keep my eyes peeled for a pretty blonde with three piercings in one ear. And while I see girls who sort of fit the image, I already know and recognize these girls, and it’s obvious that none of them is the one from my dream. More and more I am convinced that my dream is not about our school. And maybe it’s not even a prom. It could be a wedding or some other formal occasion.

After Creative Writing, I call Ebony and quickly explain the dream to her. When she asks for more details, I pull out my notebook and read the whole thing to her. “My first guess is
that it’s a prom,” I finally tell her, “But I suppose it could be a wedding or something.”

“Okay, let’s start with the first possibility. If it’s a prom, do you think it’s your school? Was it the Brighton High prom?”

“I don’t know…The girl and guy were totally unfamiliar.”

“When is your prom?”

“The second weekend of May.”

“That’s almost a month out.”

“I know…”

“But if it’s not Brighton’s prom, it could be sooner.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.”

“Well, this is helpful for starters,” she says. “How about I do some initial research on who’s having proms and where and when and you come by after school so we can kick it around some more? Okay?”

“Sounds good.” I hang up and think how much I like working

with Ebony. It’s ironic that she used to be Dad’s partner. But I suppose that’s part of the reason she gets me. Also, she seems to understand my gift. And she’s a Christian. All in all, I feel really blessed to know her—and to work with her.

“Hey, Sam,” says Conrad as he catches me on my way to Journalism. “What’s up?”

“Not much.”

“Want to go out tonight?”

“Sure. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, Alex said that Olivia suggested a movie. But not a chick flick, I hope.”

“Oh yeah,” I tease. “I heard it involves lots of designer clothes and killer shoes, not to mention giggling and chocolate, and I think there’s an over-the-top wedding and—”

“Come on, Sam.” His pale brows pull together in a slight frown.

I wink at him. “Actually, I think you’ll like it.”

“Cool.” He smiles in relief, then waves as he takes off.

“Later,” I call out as I watch him jogging down the breezeway, trying to beat the bell. His long lanky form topped by that curly red hair looks slightly comical from here. I chuckle to myself, then turn and go into the classroom, where whatever seemed humorous suddenly evaporates.

I still get jolted by the loss of Felicity every time I walk into Journalism. We had this class together, and I’d been trying to get to know her—I’d actually been making progress. There was no denying the girl was definitely a misfit, but she was also interesting and intelligent. Too smart, I’d hoped, to be involved in the kind of crud she’d been involved in. Then, even when I tried to warn ‘her, actually telling her of my vision, she had refused to listen or to take me seriously

At first I blamed myself for her death…but I’m slowly coming to grips with it. I realize that God uses all sorts of stuff to guide us and to warn us, but it’s up to us to pay attention, to heed the signs, and to respond accordingly Felicity refused to do that. Now she’s dead. Still, it’s sad. Very, very sad.