Payback (31 page)

“Pink Floyd, Kinks…yeah, yeah; there’s some of that on the iPod too.”

He held the iPod up and nodded.  “Okay, I’ll give it a try.” Leaning over the coffee table, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.  “I do appreciate the time and effort.  You always come up with something practical but personal…thank you.”

I opened the gifts for Jack.  There were several designer outfits and half a dozen toys.  “I picked out the toys.  Brooke did the clothes shopping. However, I did pick out the cowboy boots.”

I picked up the tiny scrolled leather.  The scrolls were hand painted and absolutely beautiful.  “He’s a little too small for them now, but in about nine months they’ll fit.  They’re absolutely beautiful.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot.  There’s another box at the bottom of the bag.  It’s for you.”

“But you already gave me a gift.”

“So what?  I’m giving you two.”

The box was the same design as Jack’s cowboy boots but larger. I couldn’t hold back the grin forming across my face.  Inside was an exact duplicate of Jack’s boots in a size five and a half, my size.  I squealed and pulled one out, yanking it onto my barefoot.  “Perfect!  With socks, the fit will be perfect!”

“I’m glad you like them.  I remember that I bought you a pair of cheap boots when you were in
Montana, and I feel guilty about that.  You didn’t complain, and you should have. Cheap boots can chaff, and I know you had blisters for a few weeks.  So I wanted you to have these.”

I’d seen enough boots for sale in Montana to know that these had to be close to six hundred dollars.  The funny thing was that I didn’t have too many opportunities to wear cowboy boots in Bakersfield.  Not that there wasn’t a strong
contingent of people who wore western wear, but I really needed cushioned shoes for my job, since I stood in one place for long periods of time, and, as a mom at home, I didn’t really wear shoes around the house.  Since my social life was in the toilet, the boots would probably stay in my closet, along with my two pairs of Jimmy Choos.

We sat for a few minutes watching Jack mouth his new toys
, and then Caden received a text.  He quietly took the phone out and read it, winced, and put his phone away. 

“Marie…I hate to ask you
, but would you let me take Jack to Topanga for Christmas dinner?  Brooke is there, and she really wants to meet him.  I know you said that he couldn’t go to Topanga unless he was six months, but I’m going to be up in Montana working the ranch.  You know how much work it is in the winter, so it’s unlikely I’ll get down here until late February.  I know it’s a lot to ask, but please?”

It hurt to think that my son would be gone for Christmas, but what was he going to do here
anyway? I had no special plans for Christmas.  I hadn’t even made a turkey because there was no one to share it with.  It would be petty for me to keep my son from sharing his first Christmas with his father.

“He’ll need a bag.  Let me get him dressed and ready.  I have some breast milk in the freezer I’ll have to give you.  You’ll bring him back tonight?”

He nodded.  “I’ll take a helicopter back and have him in Bakersfield by eight o’clock.”

I nodded and walked upstairs into the nursery
, where I grabbed a couple of outfits, a bib, several diapers, wipes, and a couple of toys.  Downstairs, Caden and Jack joined me in the kitchen, where I loaded a small cooler with ice and four bags of frozen breast milk, along with some bottles.  The whole time I was doing it, I’m feeling more and more morose.  I was going to be alone on Christmas without my baby or the man that I loved, and it sucked.

“Okay, here are some clean bottles and nipples.  He can take the breast milk cold; he doesn’t seem to need it warmed up.  You should have enough in the bag to keep him clean.”

After putting Jack in his little jacket, I handed him to Caden and we walked to the rental car, which had a car seat in the back.  “You knew I’d say yes?”

“I took a chance.  Getting a car seat was only twenty-five bucks more.  I have a helicopter waiting at the airport
, so I better get going.”

I nodded and gave him a kiss on his cheek and then leaned in and kissed Jack good
bye.

“Merry Christmas,” he said softly.  “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Just get him home tonight.”

“I will.”

He drove away, and I went back inside and started crying, feeling desperately sorry for myself.  After a few minutes, I poured myself a whiskey, my first alcoholic drink in almost a year, and was about to knock it back when the door opened and Caden came walking inside holding Jack.

“Are you crying?” he asked when he saw me.

“It’s okay.  I’m fine,” I said, jutting my chin out in defiance.  “Did you forget something?”

“Yeah. Get ready, you’re coming too.  I can’t leave you here alone on Christmas.”

“But Brooke—”

“Has always wanted to meet you.  This will give her a chance to meet both of you.  Besides, Jeremiah, Marcy, Patty
, and Mark will be there.  I know they’ll enjoy seeing you.”

Jeremiah had always been more Caden’s friend than mine, but we still liked
each other.  Marcy was his off-and-on girlfriend.  Mark and Patty were married and long-time neighbors of Caden in Topanga.  They also owned horses and went to equestrian events with Caden when he was living in Topanga Canyon. 

“Are you sure about this?”

“
Go get dressed!”
he yelled playfully.

I ran up and put on a pair of black leggings and a red cable
-knit sweater, along with black ankle boots, before slapping on some mascara and perfume and grabbing my purse.  I was so excited.  It had been a long, long time since I had been anywhere except for the local Chili’s bar for a quick iced tea after work with some of the scientists from the lab.

I started chattering away about my job, the people I worked with
, and Bakersfield.  To his credit, Caden listened and appeared to be interested, asking questions and laughing at my descriptions of some of the experiments.  We reached the airport, where Caden gave me tiny earmuffs to put over Jack’s ears and a set of adult earmuffs for myself.

We couldn’t talk because of the noise
, so he motioned for me to crawl in back with the baby carrier I had brought.  Jack cried, although I couldn’t hear him over the engine, so I lifted my sweater and let him nurse under a receiving blanket.  Caden turned around and blinked when he realized what I was doing, giving me a look that had a question mark all over it.  I mouthed that Jack had been crying, and so he nodded.

An hour later we arrived at the ranch
, where we loaded our stuff into one of the golf carts.  Caden drove us to the front door, and that’s when I started to panic.  Why did I come?  Caden and Brooke were a couple, and I would be a fifth wheel.   Seeing them together was going to be tough, especially considering that Brooke had just been named by
Maxim
as one of Hollywood’s hottest women.   I didn’t think I even qualified to be Bakersfield’s hottest woman.

“This was a bad idea!  I shouldn’t have come.  You deserve to spend your Christmas without me hovering in the back.”

Caden stopped and stared intensely into my eyes.  “You’re the mother of my son and my friend.  I’m not leaving you alone on Christmas while I hijack our son so that my girlfriend can meet him.  Now, come on. Let’s go inside and enjoy Christmas.”  He opened the door and walked through. 

I followed and immediately smelled a turkey in the oven mixed with smells of pumpkin pie.  Voices were coming from the media room off the kitchen.

“Oh, they’re here!” a female voice cried out, and several pairs of footsteps clopped across the Saltillo tiles towards us. “Hi, honey. Where’s—” She stopped in her tracks when she saw me carrying Jack.  Her face fell and her green eyes flew open in anger.  “Caden?”

“This is Marie and Jack.  Marie, this is Brooke.”

I stepped forward, with my free hand extended and a polite smile on my face.  “I’m glad to meet you.  Thank you for letting us spend Christmas with you and Caden. It’s very nice of you.”

There was a slight gasping sound from Brooke
, who looked at Caden with disbelief, waiting for him to explain.  Caden ignored her and pushed me lightly towards the others who stood in silence. 

“You all know Marie
, and this is my son, Jack.”

There were oohs and a
ahs from the women, who immediately put their hands out to take Jack from Caden.  Marcy and Patty both fawned over Jack.

“Wow, he sure has your eyes, doesn’t he?” Mark announced.

Caden nodded.  Brooke grabbed his upper arm.  “I need to talk to you—
now!”
   She pulled on him until he followed her through the living room and down the hall to the master bedroom. 

I stood between the media room and front room talking to Jeremiah when a hi
gh-pitched voice could be heard from the bedroom.

“
How could you bring her here on Christmas? To my Christmas celebration.”

“I couldn’t take Jack and leave her all alone on Christmas! Damn it, Brooke, this is supposed to be the season for charity and kindness!”

“I thought we were going to have a nice, family day with Jack, and you bring her here! You just wanted to be near her! You love her more than you love me!”

“For God’s sake.  Marie was all by herself.  I wasn’t going to leave her sitting in a house in Bakersfield when she could enjoy a day around old friends.  I’m not in love with her. I love you…just you.”

“I don’t believe you. The way you talk about her…it’s like she’s a damn saint.”

“She’s not a saint, she’s Jack’s mother—that’s it!”

Looking around, all eyes were fixed on me. I swallowed hard and could feel my heart beating hard and fast.  “When did they say that dinner would be done?” I asked.

Marcy, who was holding Jack, answered gently, “Around three.”

I looked at the clock on the mantel and noted it was noon.  I had to get out of the house.  “Can you watch Jack?  He should go to sleep soon.  I just fed him.  Tell Caden to check his diaper if he’s still awake when they get done.”

Marcy nodded.  “I’ll change him.  Don’t worry.  What are you going to do?”

“It’s been years since I’ve been here.  I’d like to snoop around and go for a walk.  I’ll be back for dinner. In the meantime, if he needs a bottle, the milk will be in the freezer.”

We could still hear screaming in the background
, and it sounded like Caden was becoming more and more frustrated.  I grabbed the cooler and put the breast milk in the freezer before walking out the side door as fast as I could.  Outside, I stopped and took a deep breath, the cool air of the overcast day swirling in my lungs. How could I have thought that this was a good idea?

I started towards the stables to see if any of the horses I had ridden ten years ago were still alive. 
The stable had twelve stalls, several which could hold more than one horse. I looked around and saw two horses that I recognized, Chewie and Golda. Both were now filled out and older, a little gray covering their chins. I checked out the new horses and then began my walk through the canyon towards the beach about a mile away. My flats were caked with mud, but I kept going. I didn’t want to go back, not after Caden made it clear to the world how he felt about me.  He had been generous. He had feelings for me as the mother of his child, but otherwise, I was no longer the love of his life—Brooke was.

As a new mom, my life, at least my love life
, was on hold. However, what wasn’t on hold was my career.  I had submitted my freshly edited book to Joe Thompson’s brother in New York, and he had loved it.  In fact, I had received a contract for it, but I knew the book was gold, and the contract didn’t reflect its worth.  So I had renegotiated it, keeping the movie and screenplay rights, along with taking a larger percentage of the profit rather than an advance. I had signed the deal the week before Christmas. After Montana, I had made numerous changes to reflect my education of life on a ranch and in Montana.  I used Caden’s ranch as the template for the protagonist’s ranch in Colorado.  I was very excited.  I knew in my heart that I would soon be drafting a screenplay and my life in Bakersfield would be coming to an end.

Chapter 13

Banished

“Where did she go?” Caden asked, when he emerged from the bedroom and followed Jeremiah into the empty formal living room.

“She went for a walk,” Jeremiah said quietly
, as he poured a whiskey for Caden. “Marcy has Jack.  There’s breast milk in the freezer, and after getting an earful, Marie ran for cover. She said she’ll be back for dinner.”

“When did she leave?”

“Five, ten minutes ago. She looked like she was going to cry, so she politely left.”

“She heard?”

“We all heard. I understand having to tell Brooke that Marie means nothing more than the egg donor for your son, but it was difficult for all of us to hear when Marie was standing right there.”

“If I said anything else about Marie, Brooke would have my balls in a vise.  She’s convinced I still care about Marie.”

“I am too.”

Caden frowned.  “Et tu
, Brute?  I’ve spent a long time getting to the point where I’m fond of her but not in love. There’s a big difference.”

“If you say so.”

“Jesus, if I can’t convince you, how can I convince Brooke?”

“I don’t know. I just know that you should have left Marie at home.”

“Easy to Monday morning quarterback. But Marie was so good, so kind about letting me take Jack—I felt guilty. I couldn’t let her spend her son’s first Christmas alone just because I wanted to spend it with him. She has just as much right to him as I do.”

Brooke joined them in the living room holding Jack. “I heard she went on a walk.”

Caden nodded, as he walked over to hold his baby boy. 

“He’s beautiful, Caden. He just keeps smiling and cooing. I adore him.”

Caden took Jack into his arms and was rewarded with a slobbery smile. “Why are you still awake, buddy? You should be napping by now.” 

Jack reached out and tried to touch his daddy’s chin.  Caden laughed. “You are the spitting image of my baby photos.”

“Is he?” Brooke asked, her eyes still slightly red from crying.

“I’ll show you some photos later.”

Jeremiah excused himself to use the restroom.  Before joining the others in the media room, Caden and Brooke stood for a minute admiring Jack.

“Caden, you have to get custody of him,” Brooke urged.

His head swiveled to look at Brooke.  “I didn’t think you wanted children.”

“I don’t want to be pregnant. It changes your looks
, and I’m just now getting the right parts. It’s hard enough for me to keep my weight down as it is. I’d love to have Jack. He’s so sweet and gorgeous.”

“I could ask Marie for some more time, but we’ll have to work with her.”

“Why do we have to work with her? She should have to work with us. You’re paying her thousands of dollars. You deserve more time with him. We should get him half the time.”

“You want me to ask for two weeks out of every month? He’s still nursing!”

“He’ll be on solids soon and there’s no reason he can’t go on a bottle now. Marcy said her niece was weaned at four months. I think we could make a case—”

“No! I’m going to honor my promise to Marie. In a year or two
, I’ll ask for more time, but right now he needs his mother.”

“But these are his formative years. This is our chance to put our mark on him.”

“Our mark?” he laughed. “We’ll make a difference in his life by being here and spending time with him when he’s older.”

“But do you really want Marie to be his prime influence?”

“You mean an award-winning novelist who graduated with a degree in biochemistry and who is a hard worker? The honest woman who only asked me for six hundred a month?”

“She only asked for
six hundred and you give her ten thousand? Why?”

Caden tilted his head. “Brooke, Jack is my only child. He deserves a comfortable living. Ten thousand a month is nothing; Marie could have gotten more.”

“I don’t know, Caden. If she didn’t have that money, you’d have a better chance of getting custody of Jack.”

Caden didn’t understand where she was coming from. “Darling, if you don’t want to be pregnant, maybe someday we can adopt a baby
, then you’ll have the ability to raise it however you want.”

Her eyes flashed and she snapped, “But he won’t be your son, your genes, your blue eyes.”

“Ah, honey, we’ll love him or her just as much.”

Brooke sighed and then put her auburn head on his chest.  “I know. It’s just that I see Jack smile
, and it breaks my heart that we have to give him back.”

“He smiles because Marie takes good care of him. He’s a happy kid
, and that is just a reflection of Marie’s good care.”

She nodded. “I have to check on our guests.  Here, take Jack.”

With a wide smile, he took his son in his arms and hugged him. “You are a handsome little bugger.”

It was almost three
, and the turkey had been placed on the counter to sit for a while before being carved, in accordance with Gordon Ramsey’s website. 

Brooke was angry.
“We’re going to be eating in twenty minutes and she’s not back.”

“She said she’d be back by three…we still have a few minutes,” Caden responded
, as he grabbed a piece of ham off one of the platters.

“I’m not waiting for her.”

Sighing, he shook his head and threw up his hands.  “I’ll go out and look for her.” 

After searching through the stables and not finding her, Caden began to worry. The wind was picking up and the clouds
were moving in from the west. The only way to cover enough ground in a short time was by horse.  It took him ten minutes to saddle the horse before mounting it. He headed down through the chaparral of the canyons towards the beach looking for her. At one point he saw a footprint of a woman’s shoe and knew that she had passed that way. He reached the beach five minutes later and began trotting along in the sand searching for her.  Annoyed and worried, he was about to turn back when he saw her, head down, shoes off, walking towards him. He kicked the horse and galloped north, stopping a few feet from Marie.

She looked up, surprised to see Caden jumping off the horse and approaching her with a frown on his face. “What’s up?” she asked.

“It’s three fifteen! Dinner is on the table and Brooke is pissed.”

“Oh, crap. I didn’t know it was that late! My phone is dead. I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, “This day has been one cock-up after another.”

“It’s all my fault.  I shouldn’t’ have come.”

“No, I shouldn’t have invited you. It was wishful thinking on my part that Brooke could handle it. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this but she’s a lot like you used to be.”

“Moi?”

“Remember how you couldn’t understand how I could be with you when I was dating models and actresses?”

“Yeah?”

“She wonders how I can date her when the mother of my son and the woman I loved for years is still in my life.” He gestured for her to climb up on the horse.

She mounted the horse and then responded, “I know the feeling. It’s like having a sensitive tooth—you’re okay until you drink something hot or eat something cold
, and then it’s a reminder that the tooth is sensitive. I’m okay most of the time until I see you, and then it’s a reminder of what I had and what I lost. Brooke should be grateful that you come home to her.”

“I wish. Right now she’s all starry
-eyed over babies. She wants to be a mother.” Caden mounted the horse behind her, wrapping his arms around Marie’s waist and grabbing the reins.

“Really?  So, are you going to oblige her?  Donate a little sperm for the cause?” She leaned
back a little so that her shoulder leaned against his chest. 

They both thought back to the days when they would both climb on the back of Banshee and ride through Topanga Canyon down to Malibu beach, her body leaned up against his
, while his hands rode up her shirt until they found her breasts.  Caden would fondle the perky mounds with the pretty, ripe nipples until they were both too excited to continue their ride.  Dismounting, they would screw like rabbits on the saddle blanket until they were both satiated. Several times they were almost caught.

“We’ll see. Today I’m not inclined, but in a few days I’ll probably be willing to oblige. We have our ups and downs.”

“So did we.”

“Yes, but they were really high highs.” He tried to ignore her smell, the light musk mixed with her spicy perfume that was drifting up from her shoulder which was resting on his chest. The smell
, coupled with his memories of holding her like this in the past, caused a response in his genitals that made him slightly embarrassed.

She could feel something shifting in his pants, but then he pulled his body back so that his groin was no longer in contact with her. Looking up over her shoulder, she smiled and
chortled a little.  “Our past catch up with you?”

Rolling his eyes, he then raised an eyebrow and gave her half a grin. “Don’t worry; I’ve got it under control.”

“There was a time when you couldn’t—control it, that is.”

“Yes, I seem to remember a lot of stickers and pebbles in my ass and knees.”

“Yours? My butt cheeks were dented for life.”

He laughed in her ear. After the laughter waned he whispered, “You could always make me laugh.”

“I’m really sorry for ruining your Christmas.”

“It’s actually the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

“
What?”

“It’s my first Christmas with my son.  My own baby boy.  It can’t be much better than that.”

She kissed his cheek. “God, I hope Brooke doesn’t screw it up like I did.”

Her lips were so close to his that he could taste them; remember how soft and inviting they were.  A mere inch or two to the left and he’d be able to taste them again, feel them again, devour them again.

She could sense that he wanted to kiss her, and as much as she wanted to feel his lips again, she knew that it would just screw things up for both of them.  The pain that they had managed to bury would rise to the top and suffocate both of them again.  Marie turned and faced the front and then closed her eyes to swallow back the desire.

Ten minutes later
, they were at the back door dismounting. Marie waited for Caden, and together they entered the side door to the empty kitchen.  They washed their hands without talking and then entered into the dining area where the other guests were finishing their meals.

“Sorry we were
late. Marie got lost.”

No one actually believed him; they all knew that Marie had ridden the canyons and beach around the ranch almost on a daily basis when she lived there.  Even Brooke was skeptical, mainly because she just didn’t trust Marie—or Caden around Marie.

Brooke could barely bring herself to speak.  “Your dinners are in the oven.  We’ve just had our pie and we’re clearing the table.”

“I’ll do the dishes,” Marie offered.

“No, you’re my guest.”

“Please, I really want to make things right.”

Brooke looked at Caden, who simply shrugged.  “Fine.”

“Thank you, Brooke. I’m sorry for causing any problems.”

“Jack is asleep,” she said solemnly.

“I’ll check on him after I eat and before I do the dishes,” Marie offered.

Brooke ignored that and told Caden, “I’m going to join our other guests.”

He nodded
, and when she left, rolled his eyes and moaned, “I’m fucked.”

Chuckling, Marie pulled the plates from the oven and poured some gravy over the potatoes and turkey.  They pulled up to the breakfast bar and sat across from each other.  For a few minutes they were silent
, and then they turned to each other and started laughing quietly to themselves. 

Within minutes
, they were talking about their childhood memories of Christmas and the previous Christmas on the range.  Caden told her about the new house on the range, a larger one about three hundred yards from his house.  It sat on a knoll overlooking the meadow but within the forest so that it wasn’t visible from the deck. 

“Why did you build another house?”

“I thought I’d build a bigger house for a family. It has more room for a playroom, things like that.  But right now Jason is living in it. I needed him to move up to the ranch to take care of it while I’m gone. I knew I’d be spending time down here because of Brooke’s career and the horse ranch needed some TLC.  He’s living in the house free for now.”

“Very cool. Didn’t you say that Chris is still down in Whitefish?”

“She’s dating! The guy spends a lot of time at the house now that Jason is living on the ranch.”

“That’s great. What about Jason? Is he seeing anyone?”

“Off and on, but he keeps threatening to look you up. He says that if I don’t know what a good thing I’ve thrown away, he does.”