Penny Dreadful (15 page)

“That,” said Luella, “was pathetic. SMASH IT!”

Penny picked the pig back up and took a deep breath. She held
it over her head, squeezed her eyes shut, and hurled the pig with all her might.

SMASH!
went the pig, hitting a large rock.

Penny opened her eyes to find shards of pottery on the grass. Luella and Duncan scrambled for the silver coins on the ground. Excitedly, Penny bent over to help pick up the money.

“Good smashing!” said Luella.

B
REAKING THE
R
ULES

W
hen they’d scooped up every last coin, the three kids looked at each other, grinned, and began to run. They dashed through the drooping willows, down the gravel drive, and around the first bend into the winding road. They jangled noisily, with their heavy pockets banging against their legs, until suddenly it occurred to Duncan that his father would find his locked door and open window before they were back. He stopped in his tracks.

“What will he do,” he asked, “when he finds me gone? My dad, I mean.”

“Obviously,” said Luella, “he’ll come looking for you. So let’s get a move on and make his conniption worth it.”

They ran faster then, jangling and jingling, occasionally shouting out “Oof!” or “Ouch!” as their coin-heavy pockets bruised their thighs. They went too quickly for
Penny to pay much attention to anything on the way, though she had hoped to peek into a few of the little old shops on Main Street. Luella sped along so doggedly that she bumped into a woman pushing a stroller on the narrow sidewalk.

“Sorry,” Luella called out over her shoulder. “Cute kid!”

Before Penny knew it, they were all sliding into a red leather booth at the Junction Lunch. Kay the waitress plunked down sweating water glasses almost immediately.

Penny waved shyly. “Hi,” she said. “Remember me?”

“Course I do,” said Kay cheerfully. “Penny, right?”

Penny nodded. “And you’re Kay.”

“Most days I am,” laughed Kay. “What’ll you kids have?”

“Everything!” said Duncan excitedly, beginning to empty his pockets onto the table in clinks and clatters.

“
Everything?
” asked Kay, furrowing her brow. “Does your dad know you’re here, Duncan?”

Luella spoke for Duncan. “He sure does,” she said quickly. “It’s an experiment. Doctor’s orders. We’ll have one of everything.” Luella seemed to be avoiding looking Kay in the eyes.

Penny focused on sorting her own change. She stacked the quarters carefully.

Kay squinted at the three kids. “Doctor’s orders, huh?” She paused and they held their collective breath, waiting. “
Really?
You wouldn’t be fibbing, now, would you?”

Luella looked up and batted her eyelashes. “Who,
me
?”

Kay chuckled. She patted each of the three kids on the head. Then she walked back to the kitchen.

“Whew!” whispered Luella once Kay was out of earshot. “I wasn’t so sure she’d go for it, but either she’s a sucker, or she’s on
our
side.”

Penny thought about this as Duncan got out a copy of the list, which his parents made him keep folded in his pocket as a reminder.
Duncan’s allergies
, it said.

When Kay arrived with the first set of plates, Penny lifted up her camera to film the opening shots. She zoomed in on Kay’s cheery face, then on each plate.

Duncan took a deep breath and handed the list to Luella. “You keep track, okay?” he asked a little nervously. “Here goes nothing!” Then, as Penny sat back and positioned the camera on Duncan’s eager face, he reached for a spoonful of chili topped with shredded cheese and chopped onions. “
Yum!
” Penny made sure to zoom in for a close-up when he swallowed.

Duncan ate fried clams and French fries, hot fudge and green beans, scrambled eggs and mandarin oranges that flung their juice at the glass lens of Penny’s camera. He ate baked ziti and butterscotch pudding, and he washed it all down with grape soda. He even tried the house specialty—a grilled peanut butter and honey sandwich that would have given his dad a fit. He didn’t attempt to eat
everything
Kay set before him, but he did sample at least one bite of every forbidden food. With a fork in one hand and a spoon in the other, he darted and danced from dish to dish, and Penny, camera in hand, did her best to keep up.

Luella was in charge of the list. With a pen Kay had lent her, she marked off ingredient after ingredient with a shout. “Wheat—check! Corn—check! Sugar—check! Beef—check! High fructose corn syrup—check! Cream and butter and jam—check, check, and check!”

Kay came by to oversee the goings-on now and then with a secret smile on her face. Periodically she recited a recipe, in case Luella missed an ingredient from the list. “There’s shredded carrots in the stew. Did you get that? And pineapple in the yams.” Then she’d go back to the kitchen.

Finally Luella cried out, “DONE!” and Penny set down the heavy camera with a relieved groan. According to the little red numbers on the digital display, she’d
been recording for just under thirty-seven minutes—thirty-seven minutes of solid eating!

Duncan looked up, startled from his frenzied gluttony. He stared at the piece of paper in his friend’s hand. He seemed puzzled.

“You’re done!” she shouted again. “You have officially tasted every single food on your list. How do you feel?”

“Yeah, how do you feel?” Penny repeated, leaning in to peer at her new friend.

Duncan smiled. “I feel—” Then his eyes crossed as his stomach gave a terrible rumble, and his smile disappeared. “Actually, I feel—not so good.” He rubbed his belly. “I feel awful.”

As Luella and Penny watched, concerned, Duncan groaned and slumped down sideways so that he was lying flat in the booth. He let out a terrible moan and rolled onto the floor beneath the table. “I think I’m sick. I mean it. Oh, man. I’m going to
die
. And then my parents are going to kill me.” He closed his eyes.

“Oh no,” said Luella, sliding from the booth and kneeling beside her friend’s head. She felt his forehead. It felt clammy. “Oh
no
!”

Duncan groaned again, louder, and his eyelids flickered.

Luella slapped his face and he cried out.

Penny watched in horror, frozen. This was all her fault. It had been
her
idea. “Luella!” she said. “What can we do?”

Luella said nothing. She just stared down at Duncan, horizontal on the floor beside her.

Suddenly Penny stood up in the booth. They needed a grown-up immediately. “Kay!” she shouted. “Kay, help! HELP!”

The woman ran in from the kitchen, wiping her hands with a dish towel. “What? What? Is someone choking? What
is
it?”

“Quick! Where’s the nearest hospital?” cried Penny.

“Wha? Hospital? What for?” asked Kay, looking seriously worried. “What’s going on?” She looked down at Duncan.

“No time to explain,” cried Luella. “The hospital is all the way in North Junction. Too far. We just need to get him to Dr. Sanchez!” She pulled on his arm. “Here, help me get him up!”

“Hospital? Doctor? What are you kids saying?” asked Kay frantically. “Slow down. What happened? Did he slip and fall?”

“No!” said Penny. “He just lay down and began to moan. We think it’s his allergies! There’s no time to lose. We need a doctor
now
!”

Kay calmly crouched down and pulled Duncan to a sitting position. She put a hand to his forehead. “You going to be okay, Dunc? Tell me—where’s it hurt?” She gently helped him back up and into the booth.

“My stomach,” said Duncan, opening his eyes. “Oh, my stomach feels terrible.” Then he burped and began to whimper. “I must be allergic to something after all! How will we ever know what it was?” He moaned. “It could have been
anything.
”

But when Duncan burped, Kay made a strange noise, a kind of muffled bark. Looking over, Penny was shocked to realize that Kay was trying not to laugh.

Luella seemed to be thinking the same thing. “What’s so funny?” she yelled at Kay. “Duncan could be
dying
!”

The waitress straightened up and wiped her hands on her apron. She looked down at Duncan sitting limply in the booth. “You do
not
have an allergy,” she said, letting out a warm, rolling chuckle. “We do
not
have to bother Dr. Sanchez with this—though I’m sure Duncan’s parents would prefer if we did.” She waggled a finger at Penny and Luella. “For shame! You girls just took about ten years off my life, you scared me so bad.”

Duncan had managed to stay in an upright position. “Honest, Kay? You think I’ll survive?” he asked.

“You’re fine. I’d bet the Junction Lunch on it,” said
Kay. “I raised four kids of my own, you know. A mother knows.” She considered this last point. “Well,
most
do, anyway.”

“Then why does he feel so sick?” asked Penny, her eyes wide and her voice shaky. Her frantic fear was melting away, leaving behind a kind of tired, fluttery feeling in her chest.

“Because, silly girl, he just ate the entire lunch menu, including our five-alarm chili and some questionable beets from Tuesday’s lunch special,” said the waitress. “I probably shouldn’t have served those.”

“But look at him. He’s
really
sick!” said Penny.

Duncan did look very pale.

“Of course he is,” said Kay. “But he doesn’t have an allergy, just a raging case of indigestion.”

“Are you sure?” asked Duncan, letting out another terrible burp. “It really hurts.”

“Of
course
it does,” said Kay. “You’ve spent your life eating boiled chicken. Your poor guts don’t have the first idea what to do with all those wild flavors, so they’re chock-full of plights and gripes. But a body is a tough thing. It takes a fair amount of harm to kill off a healthy boy.”

Duncan considered this. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Well, I suppose you
might
be allergic—if your throat
is closing up or you’re covered in hives. Can you breathe?”

“I can breathe.” Duncan nodded, swallowing huge gulps of air.

“Yeah,” laughed Kay. “Kinda looks that way to me. Any hives? You feeling itchy?”

“I don’t think so,” said Duncan. He inspected his arms and legs. “Not yet.”

“I think you’ll live,” said Kay. “And while I should feel bad for allowing this craziness, I have to admit I’m pleased as punch to see you eating like a normal kid. I’d say you’re as fine as anyone could be after a meal like that.”

“Fine?” asked Penny.

“Fine!” repeated Luella. “You hear that, Dunc? You’re fine!”

Duncan smiled weakly, though his joy was tempered by his frequent burps, so Kay mixed him up a cloudy glass of warm water and baking soda. Duncan made a face as he drank it. He complained that the mixture tasted worse than Benadryl, but it seemed to help a good deal.

Penny was concerned that perhaps they didn’t have enough money to leave a very big tip after causing Kay so much trouble, but the waitress just chuckled at them.
“Oh, don’t you worry about the pennies, darlin’. Getting to see a hungry boy full for the first time in his life is its own reward.”

As the three friends left the Junction Lunch, Penny noticed Dijon parked in front of a very official-looking building called the Department of Sanitation/City Planner/School Board. She looked around, but neither of her parents was anywhere to be seen. So she trundled along home with Luella and Duncan. They only stopped once so Duncan could briefly lie down again along the side of the road.