People of the Fire (64 page)

 
          
 
Little Dancer's face pained slightly, dimming
the Power in his eyes. "I have to go. The Wolf Bundle needs me. It's time,
old friend. The Spiral has come around. But I just don't know how I-"

 
          
 
"But there's a war going on up
there!"

 
          
 
Little Dancer smiled nervously. "And
maybe it will end now. Maybe I can Dream it away.''

 
          
 
"You can't Dream all those Short Buffalo
People away, and Blood Bear—"

 
          
 
"Is my father. Circles, Two Smokes,
everything runs in Circles—even the Spiral." The touch, so light on the
old man's shoulders, lifted. "Make me your grass secret. Despite the worry
I see in your eyes, Two Smokes, your heart is near to bursting over this. Your
happiness glows around you like a warm fire on a cold night."

 
          
 
Little Dancer's smile wavered and he looked
away, lost within himself.

 
          
 
"What has happened to you?" asked
Two Smokes. "You're different. Is it the Power?"

 
          
 
Little Dancer seemed to hesitate, unsure.
"I ... I don't know what to say anymore. People . . . Elk Charm . . . they
don't . . ."He offered his hands, a pleading expression twisting his face.
"Two Smokes, I Dreamed with the First Man. I saw the illusion of all
this." He gestured at the world around them. He lifted his hands, staring
at them in awe. "We touched, He and I, and we Danced and Dreamed and Sang.
Together, we shared the One ... the harmony of. . . of. . . everything."

 
          
 
Two Smokes listened, nodding. "Go
on."

 
          
 
Little Dancer dropped to his knees, heedless
of the sharp rocks. "But I . . . The One, it's a whole wondrous . Your
soul Sings, and Dances, and . . . and ..." He
stur
to a stop, a glow reflecting the experience in his mind. "It's …”

 
          
 
Two Smokes reached down, taking the young mans
hands, pulling to lift him. "Tell me. Tell me about Wolf Dreamer and the
One. Tell me about it."

 
          
 
The anguished look returned. "It's
beautiful, like the wheeling of the stars and joy of the light and the heart of
a snowflake and the drifting of a bit of down. And your soul pulses with the
Power, is One with it. Breathes with it." His eyes cleared. "Do you
understand?"

 
          
 
Two Smokes frowned, holding Little Dancer's
hands tightly. "Sort of. At least, I think I do. The Wolf Bundle used to
send a tingle of something like that through me. It was as if I could sense the
presence of a huge cavern. My fingertips could only explore the edge."

 
          
 
"I fell through it, and back again, inside
out in the light." Little Dancer's fingers flexed and straightened.
"But I . . . I . . ."

 
          
 
"Yes?"

 
          
 
"I can't tell you. Not in words that make
sense. I can't say what it is to become lost in the Great Mystery, in the
Creator's Dream. Words don't tell what it's like." He gestured
passionately. "Like . . . like explain orgasm to a rock."

 
          
 
Two Smokes chuckled at Little Dancer's analogy
as well as the panicked expression contorting his face.

 
          
 
"Don't laugh," Little Dancer
protested, jumping to his feet, stalking back and forth, the panic deepening.
"How do I tell people? How do I make them understand?" He whirled,
pounding fists against the side of his head. "Two Smokes, I don't fit
anymore. I've been beyond this world, Dreamed the One, heard the song of the
stars. I've felt, felt the soul of God! Don't you understand? How can I sit
down and talk about hunting ... or how big the sego lily is this year . . . or
laugh at a meaningless joke or ..." He shook his head frantically.
"None of it means anything to me. Don't you see? I feel like an adult—and
the world around me is full of children. None of their problems are
important." He dropped his head. "But they are, of course. Only, it's
all illusion. Existence here, on this earth ... the reality is so different for
everyone. We all make it up. Only how do I tell them?"

 
          
 
Two Smokes sighed and clapped his hands on his
knees. "I understand."

           
 
“No, you couldn't. Not unless you Dreamed the
One, Danced with—"

 
          
 
“Not your Dream. That's not what I mean."

 
          
 
Little Dancer stared at him, a hollow look in
his passionate eyes.

 
          
 
Two Smokes filled his lungs, enjoying the
feeling of life, of understanding for the first time. “I always wondered why I
was chosen. Why I, a
berdache
, was tied to your
life."

 
          
 
“I don't understand."

 
          
 
“No, I don't suppose you do. It's too new for
you. You're lost, floundering in a swollen river of new experiences that's
rushing you along so fast you think you're drowning. But among the Red Hand a
berdache
is prized. We are called mediators, living in the
worlds of man and woman. But we live in two other worlds, that of Power and
earth. Clear Water came to me at first because I could understand her Dreams.
She could tell me what it meant and I could help her understand.

 
          
 
“I remember when the Dreams of Blood Bear
first began to bother her. She couldn't see the sense in letting him couple
with her. Even then he was a violent man. He needed to hurt her to enjoy sex,
to release his seed. I couldn't understand either, but it was Power and I wouldn't
ridicule her. Then when his seed caught, the Dreams changed. Clear Water came
to me, telling me about how she needed to steal the Wolf Bundle, how the two of
us had to run away."

 
          
 
Two Smokes smiled up at Little Dancer,
remembering. "It was Power, and I'd come to love her by then. Of course I
went with her. I could feel the edge—as I told you earlier. Ah, those days,
Little Dancer. She and I walked alone—but together—and Power ebbed and flowed
around us. The Wolf Bundle practically hummed with Power.

 
          
 
“Then you were born and we were so glad. That
the first time I used the Wolf Bundle for a birth. That was the first time I
felt it pulsing in my hand, and I could sense the cavern, the One, lying just
beyond the ends of my r What a wondrous thing that was. So you can imagine my
horror when the buffalo gored your mother and left me crippled in the dirt.
What purpose could that tragedy have had?

           
 
Why take me all that way to be broken and cast
down in the dirt and pain?

 
          
 
"Then, one night after White Calf rescued
me, I swore to protect you—and I foolishly swore over the Wolf Bundle— which
bound me forever."

 
          
 
"And you took very good care of me. I've
never thanked you."

 
          
 
"Nor am I finished. For now, at this time
of your life, I have finally become useful." He smiled, feeling the
lightness. Awed, he experienced the sense of Power, of the cavern, just beyond
his reach.

 
          
 
Little Dancer licked his lips, the question in
his eyes.

 
          
 
"A
berdache
lives between the Circles—man and woman, earth and Power. For this, I have been
prepared. You've seen beyond. If a man is worried about his wife coupling with
another man, do you care about his dilemma? Such a concern is foolish in your
eyes. You see only that the One is true. You've been beyond the difference, the
I and you, the this and that of this world. The Power kept me for this moment.
I am your bridge, Little Dancer. Through me, you can touch this world you call
illusion. I can ease the way for you, teach you, and understand you at the same
time I understand the people around you. That's why I was chosen. Only now do I
understand. Only now do I see why I was led to this place to sit on this rock.
Perhaps, that's why the secret of the grass evaded me until this moment. The
Circle had to come full."

 
          
 
"But what do I do?"

 
          
 
"Dream, Little Dancer. That's what you
do. You Dream the real new way for the People. You Dream the Spiral back. Leave
the rest to me. I've been shaped for this just as a horn bowl is shaped and
carved by a craftsman. Fool that I was, I'll be serving you until the end—and
through it, I'll get my wish. I'll get to touch the One." He smiled up
into the morning sun, raising his hands. "Thank you for this day, Wise One
Above. Thank you for the wonder. Thank you for the light of understanding. I,
Two Smokes, thank you for letting me finally see."

 
          
 
Elk Charm sat at the top of the trail staring
up toward the peaks where Little Dancer had gone. How long would it take?

           
 
As she sat, she rubbed long sections of the
juniper bark back and forth between her callused palms. She'd peeled the
lengths earlier, using a large quartzite flake to strip the bark from mature
trees. By working the hairy bark vigorously, she could shred it into fibers and
crush them to make an absorbent for her infant's bottom. And infants can go
through an incredible amount of absorbent.

 
          
 
She chewed fretfully at her lip, taking a
quick look to see that the baby slept peacefully in the cradle board. A
bluebird shot past, landing on an overturned stump, trilling to the warm air of
the morning.

 
          
 
She saw Two Smokes hobbling along in his
swinging walk before she made out Little Dancer and the lean shape of the black
wolf darting through the sage. Something about the way Little Dancer walked,
that curious looseness so uncharacteristic of him, reminded her of a man in a
daze. Getting to her feet, she ran for him.

 
          
 
Two Smokes called out, trying to get her
attention, but she could see the slackness that filled Little Dancer's
expression. A glaze lay behind his eyes.

 
          
 
She twisted past Two Smokes' reaching fingers
and threw herself into his arms. He held her awkwardly, but her frantic worry
hid that fact from her in the beginning. Only when she felt him stiffen and
draw back did she look up, searching his face for some indication of the
problem.

 
          
 
"Little Dancer? Are you all right?"

 
          
 
"I'm fine," he told her uneasily;
the familiar light of love in his eyes warred with something else, something
powerful and frightening. "I've Dreamed, you see . . . touched the
One."

 
          
 
"Elk Charm?" Two Smokes put his hand
on her shoulder, warm and firm. "Elk Charm, he's been in the Spirit World.
He Dreamed with the First
Man.
"

 
          
 
She stared up at him, wondering at his
detached smile. "Little Dancer?"

 
          
 
He reached out, placing hands on either side
of her face. For that moment, he smiled for only her, and her soul leapt.
"Elk Charm, my wonderful Elk Charm." Tears ran down his face as he
hugged her tight, crushing her to his breast I understand. You, too, have
taught me. That's why you came to me. I couldn't have ever understood all the
ways of love without you. I couldn't have understood so much about people, and
why they are the way they are."

 
          
 
She shook her head, confused, happy that he
held her. If only she didn't have the dread that something precious had begun
to slip away from her life.