Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, #Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, #Dating & Sex
whatever craziness gene
he’s carrying. I mean,
maybe she’s just a little
confused. Maybe she could
get help for that, and then
there’s still hope for us.
But how do I find out
for sure? And even if I do,
how could I ever suggest
to her that her brain chemistry
might be in need of adjustment?
Lots to consider. But not today.
Spring break. No school.
No game until Friday. Fresh
powder on the mountain,
I’m skiing. I’ve avoided it
all season, worried about
injuries. But what the fuck.
Can’t live in fear of a fall.
I Don’t Want To Ski Alone
I called Kendra, but she’s busy
having an operation. Fixing
the little bump in her nose
that makes her face unique.
What’s with girls, always
trying to fix stuff that doesn’t
need fixing? Anyway, since
she’s unavailable, I did
the unthinkable and invited
Duvall to come along. He’s
annoying as hell, but a fair skier,
and for some lame reason, girls
are attracted to him. Can’t hurt
to have him with me. Ski resorts
are babe magnets. Maybe I’ll
hook up with a Cara stand-in.
Just something to play with
until I win her back. Still have
Viagra left. Hate to let those
little blue pills go to waste.
Rose Has Been Invaded
“Shit. Check out the crowd. Lift
lines are going to be impossible.
We should ski the singles line.”
I watch three curvy pairs of Lycra
ski pants walk by as we put on
our boots in the top parking
lot.
Uh, yeah,
agrees Duvall.
Easter week and all. Which
means after next weekend
this place is closing up shop.
Spring break is traditionally
the last week for Mt. Rose, no
matter how much snow is left
on the slopes. “Too bad. Skiing
will be great for a month yet.”
Yeah, well, it
is
baseball
season. You ready or what?
We clomp down a slippery
road, skis over one shoulder.
Wait in a forever line just to
buy our lift tickets. Glad
I’m not here for actual
exercise, although
standing in five-year-old
ski boots is kind of a workout.
Finally we’re good to go.
“I haven’t skied all season.
Lakeview good? I need
to warm up.” Duvall gives me
one of those
whatever
looks.
Sure, dude. I’d rather ski with
a girl anyway.
He laughs, slips
into his bindings, and trucks
off toward the chair. And it takes
until I’m snapped into my own
skis to realize he just called
me
a girl. The little (literally)
prick. Under my collar, a warm
seep of irritation crawls
up my neck, toward my face.
From Here
I can choose to go after him,
show him how this particular
“girl” could mess up a certain
guy’s face. Or I can forget it.
Try to remember how to ski.
I push off down a gentle slope
toward the high-speed chair
where Duvall stands, looking
put out.
Do I have to wait for
you all day, or will you pick this
up eventually?
He’s smiling.
Kidding. But I want to smash
his freaking dopey smirk right
through the back of his skull.
Deep breath. And another.
My blood pressure lifts like
mercury in a thermometer.
Time to take a break from
the ’roids. When this cycle is
over, or I die of a heart attack.
Even The Singles Line
Is slow. By the time I slide
my butt onto a chair beside
three kids kicking snowboards,
the bottoms of my feet hurt.
Time for new boots. At least
this is a fast chair. It sweeps up
the mountain until…
thud…
it stops because of a problem
above or below. To my right,
the old, slow chair keeps on
moving at a forty-five-degree
angle toward a lower disembark
point on the same run this one goes
to. It crosses beneath us, and my
ears catch the sound of familiar
laughter. I scan the line of chairs.
Cara? I think it’s her, buddied
up with some girl. With a bump,
the chair starts up again. Before
I know it, I’m at the top, where
Duvall stands off to one side.
I ski right past him. “Coming?
Or will I have to wait for you all
day?” Down the short, semi-steep
face, onto the flat trail that circles
the resort, I reach for whatever
speed I can, hoping to catch up
to Cara. Duvall is right on my
heels.
Hey, man! What’s the hurry?
Thought you wanted to warm up.
I don’t even know why I want
to see Cara. She’ll only piss
me off. I’ve stopped by her
house maybe a dozen times,
but she won’t talk to me, except
to keep repeating,
It’s over, Sean.
Just let it go.
I can’t let it go.
Can’t let her go. Sometimes
I drive by her house, just to see
if there is anyone there. Anyone else
in her life but me. Sometimes
I follow her, but the only place
she ever goes is to rehearsals.
I know she still loves me, even
if she hasn’t forgiven me. Time.
There she is, up ahead. God,
she’s sleek as a dolphin,
surfing snow. Who
is
that
she’s boarding with? The two
turn down the mountain, and
by the time we reach the trail
they took, the girls are out of
sight. I stop at the cornice’s edge,
breathing hard. Not sure I want
to drop over
this.
It’s damn steep.
Duvall, of course, is up for it.
What are you waiting for?
Banzai!
I pause for a second
or two. But what can I really do,
but tail the guy through the trees?
I’m Sure It Isn’t Pretty
But I manage to stay on my
feet and avoid running into
any obstacles. There are lots.
Trees. Stumps. Rocks. A few
bushes, even, thinking it might
be spring. Turn. Turn. Pause.