Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1) (19 page)

So many thoughts are crossing my mind. I thought he was okay with us taking things slow and letting our relationship develop day by day but hearing him now makes me think that maybe he’s not. I know what he means when he says this isn’t our first date. I know we are more than two strangers who just met and are getting to know each other, but we’ve also had some bumps in the road and I want to make sure we’re both ready before we make a big decision like living together. “You know I’m in love with you, too, right? I really am trying, and I know we are moving forward. I know one day we will live together, but I want to make sure I don’t screw it up by running because I’m not ready. I’ve opened my heart to you, Grayson. I’ve let you see a part of me no one ever has. I trust you with all I have. and I want it to be you by my side, no one else.”

He leans in and kisses me. “I know. Remember we’re in this together. It’s new for me, too. I’ve already told you. Now, will you stay with me at least for tonight?”

“I don’t have a change of clothes. I need to go home.”

“Stay. You can just be naked. I’ll join you.” He winks. “Besides, you don’t need clothes for what I want to do.”

“Well, if you insist. I guess I’ll have to prance around naked for the night. We’ll see what you do about it.” I challenge knowing very well he’ll see my challenge.

“Let me help you get undressed and you’ll see what I’m going to do about it.” He says pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it to the side. His hands roam down my shoulders, over my breasts caressing them over my bra, and down my stomach to my jeans. He teases me, sliding his finger on the inside of the band skimming it from side to side
leaving chills down my body and desire fills me.

The slow anticipation is driving me crazy. He loosens my jean button and unzips them. My breathing is starting to pick up and he gazes at me smiling, enjoying my reaction to his touch. “I don’t think you need these,” he says slipping off my shoes. “Stand up,” he demands, and I do as he says. He pulls down my jeans slowly and guides my feet out of them so I’m standing in just my underwear. He’s still sitting on the floor looking up at me admiring the view. “You’re beautiful.”

After a beat, he stands up running his hands up my legs and cupping my ass. Rubbing his body to mine, he moves his lips to my neck, kissing a trail down to my breasts. He moves my bra over releasing my breast, and he continues to kiss me, teasing me with his mouth. He does the same with my other breast, freeing it from my bra and kissing me slowly. His hands wrap around my back and unhook my bra letting it fall to the floor as he continues his sweet torture on my body. He then hooks his thumbs into my underwear and lowers them down my legs making me step out of them.

He looks at me smiling and says, “There you go. Now you don’t have to worry about clothes.”

“I believe you’re overdressed.” I pull his t-shirt over his head and stare at his body. He has a tan from working outside while we were in South Carolina. His muscles are perfectly toned. His abs ripple over his stomach, and he has the V cut peeking into his jeans. I want to take a peek, too. Time for his jeans to go. “Take off your shoes,” I say. He does and looks at me expectantly. I unbutton his jeans and pull them down. He’s standing in his boxer briefs looking gorgeous. His strong arms wrap around me and pull me close. I press my body firmly to his and feel him harden immediately.  Our lips meet and our tongues begin to move together, passion, love, and desire combine in this kiss like if our lives depended on it.

Grayson moves us to the couch, lying me down and positioning himself over me. He has swept both of my hands over my head holding them firmly with one of his. He smile
s that mischievous smile I love and he brings his face down to mine continuing our kiss. His free hand explores my body moving down my curves and leaving a trail of hot desire where he’s touched. He slowly moves it up my leg and inner thigh teasingly slow filling me with anticipation. At the same time his mouth moves to my neck kissing behind my ear giving me chills.

I feel the moisture build between my
legs and he can’t get there fast enough. His hand has travelled up to my breasts, twisting and tugging each one. A moan escapes my lips, and I feel his smile on my skin. He knows the torture he’s putting me through. I try to free my hands to reach down and touch him but his grip is too strong for me to loosen. I feel defenseless and that frustrates and turns me on at the same time. His hand finally moves down my body and makes contact with my core, moving in circles over me making my body tremble. He slides a finger inside me and moves it in and out with ease, my wetness making it easy to move inside of me.

I feel the climax building, but before I can give in completely he stops. He licks his fingers clean of me. I can’t believe he just did that, yet it was so hot. “You taste good.” I am left speechless. He lowers himsel
f to kiss me releasing my hands and I move them to his body, feeling him beneath my touch. I feel every part of him, every muscle, every indentation.

I move my hands to his hair and knot them pulling lightly on strands. I feel him shift as he takes off his boxer briefs and presses into my body again.

Feeling his hard body over mine, so close, is driving me crazy. The sweet torture he is putting me through is too much. I slightly open my legs inviting him to come in and he takes that as his cue. He lowers himself and enters me exaggeratingly slow so I can feel every single inch of him as he does so. He fills me, making me whole, and begins to move slowly and deliberately. He fits like the puzzle piece I’ve been missing and that intensifies the feeling. I meet him move for move, working together in perfect unison.

My climax begins to climb, spreading heat all over my body, my toes curling and my breathing jagged. I moan and cry out his name, losing myself to th
is moment. It’s been a long day and I feel all the tension from this morning wear off as I give in to Grayson, as I let him love me with all he has and I accept that love with all I have. I search his face finding his eyes and they are burning with desire. I can tell he’s close, and I keep eye contact as I climax around him, completely letting down my walls and any inhibitions I have. I give myself completely to him, and he stills letting go and climaxing into me, his breath short and hard as he whispers my name. We stay lying together on the couch, our bodies knotted together.

Words can’t explain the love I feel for this man right now. He drives me the good kind of crazy. He accepts me for who I am, scars and all. He put my broken pieces back together. He promised me he wouldn’t let me break anymore, and he has kept that promise.

Right here, right now, I realize I am no longer afraid of the “what ifs.” I want to be where I am right now, in Grayson’s arms. He is my life, my future, my present. I have no doubt about what I feel for him. “I want to move in with you,” I whisper in his ear. He gives me his best smile and I melt in his arms. He kisses me with so much love I feel like he’s breathing life into me. Who made rules for relationships anyways? Like Grayson said last night, when it’s right, it’s right.

I’m tired of living my life in fear of what could happen when we allow change to occur. I don’t want to continue holding back on amazing experiences because of that fear. I want to grasp life tightly and roll with it. I want to discover what the universe has to offer me. I want to
live
, truly live, free from all that, and I want all of this with Grayson. Without him my life wouldn’t have much meaning. He has taught me so much in the short time I’ve known him. Every experience, every argument, every touch, every heartbreak has led us to where we are right now. All the good and bad we went through is what led us to this moment. I needed to live through that in order to rise above the mud and blossom
.
It hasn’t been easy, and at times it wasn’t fun, but it was worth it. It is what makes us,
us;
perfectly imperfect but strong and full of love.

Epilogue

What can I say? The last year has been a hectic ride. Crazy ups and downs like a rollercoaster. I hate roller coasters. I like control, so riding around plunging unexpectedly without control of where you’re going or how fast, your stomach rising and dropping like it’s detached from your body. Not my cup of tea. My only cup of tea is sweet tea, well that and Mia. She’s part of the reason this year has been crazy, but she’s the good part of that ride.

I love her so much. I re
member the first time I saw her dancing at
Luxe
, confident, sexy, beautiful. I needed to meet her, get to know her. There was this electrical current pulling me towards her and I couldn’t cut it. I figured we’d fuck and I’d leave. That was my usual anyways. But she got drunk and passed out before anything could happen. I don’t know what made me stay the night, but I’m glad I did.

She looked so beautiful that morning, blue eyes wild and intense, messy hair wrapped around her face, sexy, smart, and a smartass, yet there was depth to her, something hidden that I wanted, no needed, to discover. A lost soul like me. This couldn’t be the last time I saw her, but then she kicked me out of her house. I was shocked. Usually girls are trying to get me to stay, not getting rid of me. I needed to see her again.

I still laugh thinking about the look on her face when I showed up at her house with dessert. I swear it seemed like someone sucker punched her in the gut. Then she mentioned she had mommy issuesand I had to know what they were. I felt connected to her. I felt like she might understand me. I knew she was pushing me away though, avoiding me. I always did the same thing to people, so I said something crazy. I suggested we be friends with benefits
.
What are we, in high school
?
I couldn’t believe I had said that but it must’ve worked because she stuck around. I fell for her faster than I realized what was happening.

Leaving her in her apartment after she rejected me was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It broke my heart to leave her as tears rolled down her cheeks, breaking her when I promised I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t keep breaking myself.

I don’t think she’ll ever understand what I felt when I saw her again, despite the circumstances that brought her to me. Losing Logan was devastating but having her next to me gave me hope that I would live through it. Being able to hold her again, feel her warm skin against mine, her hands in my hair meant there was hope for a future. I knew she had to love me, whether she knew it or not, when she came over right away after I called her when my brother died and went with me to South Carolina without thinking twice about it. I meant it when I told her she was it for me. I never would’ve found someone to replace her. Never. She had saved me from a life of emptiness. A life that only included losing myself in my career and meaningless fucks on the weekends.

Living together has actually been a blessing for us, solidifying our relationship. She moved in shortly after she agreed. She finally helped me decorate my house like she mentioned the first time she went over. We’ve found a balance to make the house ours by including both our tastes into the décor. I love waking up to her each morning and going to sleep with her each night.

We have come a long way in our relationship. We have both learned so much from each other and about ourselves through this journey. Separately we were broken, but together we have managed to beautifully put all of our pieces together creating something beautiful.

Mia has actually gotten me to go back home and visit. Her strength surprises me everyday. The ways she can overcome so much and still have strength to push me to be better. Our short visits to Logan’s house and being back in my hometown have helped me let go of the past a bit, too. I love her so much for that.

Over the past months, I’ve also gotten to know her father more. We’ll drive down a couple times a month or so and spend time with him. I enjoy seeing this side of Mia, a side of her she doesn’t let many people see. Her father is her rock, and I’m glad she has him in her life for support despite her disagreements with his past decisions.

It’s amazing to see how alike they are. They have the same piercing blue eyes. I see
who she gets her stubbornness and passion from. It’s fun to watch them go back and forth discussing one thing or another; neither budges or admits defeat.

Him and I also have gotten to know one another and realized we have things in common. I enjoy talking to him, even if Mia’s busying herself in the house and she’s not around. He’s wise, but I guess he’s had experiences in life to make him that way.

We’re on top of a mountain we just hiked and are sitting by a lake overlooking the mountain ridge and city further away. It’s absolutely beautiful. The sky is clear blue and the air is fresh and cool in early summer. Well, I’m sitting she’s lying down with her head on my lap as I caress her arm. I notice she peeks up at me and asks, “What’s going on in there?” tapping my forehead.

I smile, “Just thinking.”

“Oh, yeah? About what?” She raises an eyebrow trying to challenge me. It’s so cute to watch her try, but I know her too well and understand her challenge is a façade. She looks breathtaking out here with the sun shining down on her face, her hair in a messy bun, no make up on; raw and gorgeous.

“You. Me. Our relationship.” I notice the smile slip from her face. Sometimes I forget how easily her confidence can slip. She’s always so sure of herself, ready to strike if she needs to, but I guess with everything she’s been through with her family it’s easy to assume the worst.

“Hey. Don’t frown,” I say as I slip my fingers under her chin pulling her face up and bend down to kiss her softly. “I was just reminiscing.” I reassure her. She nods, not fully convinced, and returns her attention to the scene in front of us. I know it’s her way of dealing, of not asking if something is wrong afraid of what the answer might be. I don’t get how she doesn’t see right through me yet; after all this time. I let her be, though, because I’ve learned she needs her space to process her thoughts, and she’ll realize she’s overreacting to spoken words.

Our relationship hasn’t been fairy
tale perfect from the beginning but I wouldn’t want it any other way. The flaws, the arguments, the pain all make it
real
. All those princess stories of perfect relationships and Prince Charming are bull crap. Life isn’t all flowers and hearts all the time but if you’re with someone who completes you, it’s worth fighting for. Mia’s my perfectly imperfect princess and this is our perfectly imperfect fairytale.

I continue to move my hands up and down her arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps where I’ve touched her. I love that I have this affect on her, too. She owns me completely, body, heart, and soul, and I want the same from her. My life would be not
hing if I didn’t have her in it and I will live the rest of my life proving that to her, loving her with all I’ve got.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She interrupts my thoughts. 

“It sure is,” but I’m looking down at her not at our surroundings.

“I love coming up here. Thank you for sharing this place with me,” she says as she reaches up to kiss me. We’ve been coming here ever since the first time I brought her almost a year ago when we went hiking for the first time. This is where we both opened up to each other. This is where I began to fall in love with her, so it seems appropriate that we’d come here today.

“I love you. I’d share everything with you, not just this place, but my entire life.”

“I love you, too. Sorry I freaked a little when I asked what you were thinking about. I know you love me.”

Fuck the plan. Fuck the champagne I have packed and the perfect moment. This is the perfect moment. This is us, perfect and unplanned. We strive on spontaneity. “Marry me,” I tell her. I have a picnic packed that I was going to set a little later, serve champagne, get down on one knee, the whole shebang, but now feels right and I have to go with that. It may seem backwards, but our relationship has been backwards. After all, our first date was dessert. 

She sits up quickly, her blue eyes staring at me intensely. “Seriously?” She asks confused and it’s the cutest look ever.

“Yes,” I say grabbing around for my backpack and take out a small black velvet box. I chose a simple ring with a princess cut diamond and small amethyst stones on each side of the band. It’s her favorite stone and color. I open it and repeat, “Marry me.”

I actually went to visit her dad last week. I took a day off from work to drive down and see him. Mia doesn’t know this of course. She’d probably freak for no reason. Our relationship hasn’t been traditional, a
nd her upbringing wasn’t either but this was something I wanted to keep tradition a part of. His reaction was amusing to say the least.

“Are you sure, son?” He asked me looking bewildered.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, sir
.” I still catch my breath when he calls me son. I’ve never had anyone call me that before, and he uses it so freely it surprises me to this day.
“I love your daughter more than I’ve ever loved anyone. She’s the only one for me. It may seem soon to most people, but we’ve been through a lot in the short time we’ve known each other.”

“I have no doubt about that, I just want to make sure she’s ready. I know she cares about you a lot, but she’s stubborn when it comes to opening up. Even if she wants to feel it, she won’t allow herself to.”

“That’s Mia. We’ve come a long way in our relationship. It feels like the right time. I know we’re both ready for this.”

“I’m happy for you two. I know she couldn’t have found anyone better than you. I have full trust that you’ll take care of her. Since she met you she’s been a different person, and it is liberating to see her blossom into the woman she’s become. I have to thank you for that. I know she hasn’t had it easy, but I always worried she wouldn’t let herself feel anything for anyone. You make her happy and that makes me happy. I always wanted a son, and I’ll be gaining one. I’ll be here to support the two of you, always.”

My eyes got misty when he said that last part to me. I’ve never had a father in my life and knowing that he saw me like that filled my heart with pride. I was nervous as hell driving over there to talk to him. As much as we get along, I was asking to marry his daughter. That’s no easy task, but he was so accepting and happy.

A slow smile creeps up her face, and before I know it she’s tackling me to the floor in a hug and kissing me with so much emotion. I let out the breath I’ve been holding and kiss her back. I was nervous as hell. I know she loves me,
but this is a huge step for her. I also know she trusts me completely.

“Is that a yes?” I question her with my eyebrow raised smiling like an idiot waiting for her officia
l response. My palms are sweaty and my heart feels like it’s going to sprint out of my body any second now.

“Yes,” she breathes out, her smile matching mine. I slip the ring on her finger and stare at her in awe. My e
yes begin to water. Now, I’m no crybaby, but I’m a lucky bastard who played his cards right. I found a beautiful, smart, and loving woman to be with me. I never thought I’d settle down or find someone who would have me even consider settling down.

My view on women gro
wing up wasn’t exactly positive and I carried that with me my whole life. My mother is a whore and I expected the same from every woman who crossed my path. Don’t judge; it’s what I knew. But Mia, she’s different. She has had her own struggles, her own bumps in the road; no one would understand me better than her. Yet somehow she has managed to overcome them and open her heart to me. She says it is thanks to me, but what she may not realize is that she opened my heart. She challenges me more than anyone I’ve ever met, and she loves me more than anyone.

She sits on my lap facing me, her legs wrapped around my waist smiling. I can tell her eyes are beginning to water, too. My entire world
is sitting right in front of me and I want to cherish her forever. “I promise I will spend the rest of my life falling in love with you all over again each and every day. You’re mine, Sweet Pea. Forever.”

“Two peas in a pod.” She kiss
es me as we begin our forever.

The End