Perfectly Unpredictable (17 page)

“It is, but it was Alexandre’s to give, and
he wanted you to have it. Our gift is meeting you. It means very much to me
that Alexandre found someone to love. Even if it was only briefly, I can see
that you and he shared something special. And knowing that he loved you, and
you him, is more precious to me. So please, accept it, and be reminded of that
love when you wear it.”

“Thank you. I’ll treasure it always.” Kalia
dried her eyes. “Alexandre was lucky to have you as parents.”

Alain and Fiona laughed. “Well, there were
lots of ups and downs, raising him.” Fiona glanced at Alain with a secret smile.
“And some things we would do differently, but we are–” she sighed “–were
very proud of him.”

Kalia wondered how to bring up Mani, but decided
that showing them would be better. “I’ve really enjoyed this evening. It has
been a pleasure meeting you. I would like to share something with you,” she said,
butterflies in her stomach. “If you’re free, would you like to join me for
lunch tomorrow?”

Alain and Fiona looked at each other.

“That would be lovely,” Fiona said. “We are
here for another day and have plans tomorrow evening, but are free for the day.”

“Perfect. Here is my address,” Kalia said
as she wrote it down. “It’s late now, and unfortunately, I should get going. Thank
you very much for dinner and for the lovely evening. I’ll cherish this,” she
said, putting the ring gently back in the box. “And I’ll look forward to seeing
you again tomorrow.”

Alain and Fiona rose as Kalia stood and
each in turn kissed her cheeks good-bye.

“Thank you, Kalia,” Alain said. “Until
tomorrow.”

The drive home was a blur. Kalia was
exhausted. The emotional roller coaster was taking a toll. Grieving was such an
unusual process. Just when she thought she was past the worst of it, something
happened to spin her back to where she had been when Alexandre first passed
away. The guilt had eased, but the sadness was pervasive. Maybe that was the
normal course. Maybe the pain would ebb and flow like water moving in the tide
until, like for those living near the sea, it became part of the fabric of
everyday life. You were aware of it, you worked around it and you worked with
it, but it was always there.

Butterflies in her stomach beat a nervous
tattoo at the thought of telling Alexandre’s parents about Mani. Was it the
right thing to do? They were grieving, especially Fiona. Or maybe a mother’s
grief was just more apparent. But regardless, if Fiona could part with something
precious, something that had to have a great deal of sentimental value, because
Alexandre had asked, her love must be very deep. Perhaps seeing Mani, knowing
that Alexandre’s legacy would live on, would give Fiona peace.

What if it had the opposite effect, and
instead of bringing solace, it created more turmoil for them? What if it added
to their grief? Her heart skipped a beat.

No, she didn’t believe that. They would
want to know they had a grandson. She sighed.
Hopefully
. She’d find out tomorrow.

She drove into the garage and shut off the
engine. Leaning her head back against the seat, she sat.

She pulled the letter from her purse and
looked at it. Mack was waiting inside, but she needed a moment for this.

Kalia
was written in Alexandre’s handwriting on the outside of the envelope.
Kalia stroked the front of it and turned it over in her hands, running her
finger along the sealed edge. She turned it over again and looked at it, trying
to steady herself.

She slipped her finger under the corner and
slowly tore it open.

She unfolded the piece of paper and read.

Kalia,

I
don’t know when this letter will find you, but I want you to know how much you
mean to me.

You are
the light and the hope I carry with me throughout my treatment. Words can’t
express how much it means to me.

I
wondered if telling you the diagnosis would have been a better choice, but at
the time, I thought it an unnecessary burden.

Our
time together was too short and for this I’m very sorry. I didn’t want to say
good-bye.

I
would like for you to have this ring. As you wear it, know that you are loved.

You
mean so very much to me. Please be happy that you made a difference in my life.

Yours,

A.

P.S.
My hope is that my parents deliver this to you. My wish is that you meet.

Kalia barely read the post-script as tears
blurred her vision. Her breath hitched, and she closed her eyes. He’d loved her.
Oh Alex. She wished he’d told her, that she’d known he’d been ill.

Please
be happy,
he’d written. She took a deep breath. She
could try. She could work at it. She thought of Mack. That would be part of it.
She was lucky he was there for her while she grieved for Alexandre.

“Kalia?”

Kalia jumped and looked up.

Mack’s concerned face looked back. “Are you
all right? I heard the car pull in.”

“I’m fine.” She gathered her purse and the
gift and opened the door to join him. “I just needed a moment.”

“Rough evening?” he asked, wrapping his arm
around her shoulder and guiding her inside.

“Emotional,” she said, leaning into him.

They walked inside, and Mack took Kalia’s
coat and threw it on the hook by the door.

“Would you like tea?” Mack asked.

“No, not really,” Kalia said as she toed
off her shoes. “How was Mani? Did everything go okay?”

“He was great. Went to bed without a
problem.” Mack gathered her close. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Fiona and Alain are wonderful. Alexandre
asked them to deliver gifts to four of his close friends. They said it’s been a
lovely journey for them to reconnect with his friends and share the memories. He
left me a ring. It’s beautiful, Mack. And he wrote me a letter. He loved me,”
she said, her voice breaking. “He loved me,” she repeated, her voice a little
stronger.

“Did you wonder?”

“I did,” Kalia admitted, surprised at how
much it meant to her. “I loved him, but we knew each other such a short time.” She
paused. “Fiona has an air of sadness about her. Not much time has passed since
Alex’s death, but it’s obviously been very difficult for her. The ring Alex
left for me was given to him by his mom, after being passed down from her
grandmother to her mother to her.

“Can you imagine? Here you are, grieving
for your son, and he asks you to meet a perfect stranger and give away an
heirloom.” Kalia shook her head in disbelief. “They didn’t have to do it. But
they made the trip, opened their arms and heart to me, and trust that I’ll
treasure it as they have.”

There was silence as Mack rubbed Kalia’s
back and held her close.

“That’s because they recognized that you’re
warm, giving, and loving, just as Alex saw you.”

Kalia blinked away tears and hugged Mack. “Thank
you.”

“Did you tell them about Mani?”

“I’m going to,” Kalia acknowledged. “I
decided they need to know. Hopefully, it will help ease their grief. I invited
them for lunch tomorrow so they can meet him. Of course, then I worried all the
way home that it might be too hard on them.”

Mack leaned back and framed Kalia’s face
with his hands. “You can’t control how they’ll react, but it seems the right decision,
the right thing to do. I think they’ll thank you.”

“I hope so.” Kalia leaned in and laid her
lips softly on Mack’s. “Thank you for being here for me. I love you.”

“I love you too, Kalia. You look exhausted.
I can tuck you up into bed.”

“Can you stay?”

“I would love that. I have a band meeting
tomorrow, but I can change it if you want me around.”

“No, that’s okay. I think it will be fine. How
could they not love Mani?”

The next day, Kalia put Mani down for a nap
in the morning and spent the time answering emails and preparing lunch. She
baked fresh salmon and sliced a loaf of brioche to make salmon sandwiches. She filled
a glass pitcher with freshly squeezed lemon juice, stirred in a generous amount
of sugar, and added slices of lemon. The meal was ready and the kitchen
spotless when the doorbell rang at noon.

Kalia went to answer it and glanced
upstairs, wondering how long the star attraction would sleep.

“Come in,” she said as she ushered Alain and
Fiona inside. “Did you have any trouble with the directions?” She closed the
door behind them.

“No, not at all,” Alain said as he brushed
each cheek in greeting.

Fiona stepped forward and did the same. “Thank
you for inviting us. It’s a lovely neighborhood. It looks young and fun, with
carefully tended gardens,” she said with a smile.

“It is. The older couples have the colorful
gardens. The young families tend to have the colorful toys out front,” she said
with a laugh. “Let me take your jackets.”

Kalia led them into the living room. Sunlight
streamed in the front window, creating a warm glow on the spring day. “Make
yourself comfortable. Would you like a drink? I have coffee, tea, or lemonade.”

“Oh, lemonade sounds perfect,” Fiona said. “I’d
love some, thank you,”

“For me as well, Kalia. Thank you,” added
Alain.

Kalia carried in a tray of tall glasses of
lemonade and ice.

“Thank you,” Fiona said as she took the
glass that Kalia offered. “On our way here, Alain and I commented on how
beautiful the trees looked. The apple and cherry blossoms are starting to come
out. Nature paints a beautiful picture.”

“I love spring,” Kalia agreed. “The
temperature is comfortable to be outside again after the winter, the grass is
getting green, and the tulips and daffodils are so cheerful.”

“Ah, oui. We visit Alain’s brother and his
wife in Lancaster every year about this time. The weather cooperates for travel,
and the temperature is perfect for hiking. Of course, we’ve had our share of
April showers, but for the most part it’s really lovely.”

“That sounds wonderful. Are you very close
to your brother?” Kalia asked Alain.

“Yes, we are,” he admitted. “We’re very
fortunate that we enjoy each other’s company. They escape the winters to France
and stay with us. We have an apartment in Paris and a home in the country so
there’s lots of space. It works out well and keeps us in touch. Are you close
to your family, Kalia?”

“Yes. I have one brother who lives in the
city, and my parents live about forty-five minutes from here, so we get
together often. But perhaps I should encourage them to retire and live
somewhere more exotic, so I can visit. I’ve–”

Mani cried out from upstairs. Kalia’s heart
jumped, and she set her glass down on a side table. Alain and Fiona glanced at
each other and then looked at Kalia with surprise.

“Oh,” Kalia said, as she stood. “There’s
someone I’d like you to meet. Let me go get him.”

Kalia poked her head into Mani’s room. Mani
was standing at the side of the crib, rubbing his eyes.

“Hello, little one,” she said softly as she
picked him up. “Did you have a good nap?”

She took him over to the change table and
changed his diaper, keeping up a running commentary to cover her nerves. She grabbed
his stuffed bunny, cuddled him close, and carried him downstairs.

With a deep breath, she walked into the
living room as Fiona and Alain stood up. “Fiona, Alain, I’d like you to meet my
son, Mani.”

Kalia hadn’t known what to expect. Her plan
was to let them get to know Mani and then gently, after lunch, break the news that
he was Alexandre’s son. But the look of utter shock on both of their faces
stopped her. Mani buried his face in Kalia’s shoulder.

“Mon Dieu,” whispered Fiona. Kalia watched
with concern as Fiona paled.

Alain stepped forward. “Hello, Mani,” he
said seriously. He looked at Mani intently.

Mani turned his head shyly and looked at
Alain. Alain smiled broadly, and Mani responded by smiling, then quickly looked
away and clung to Kalia.

“He’s beautiful, Kalia,” Alain said
quietly.

“Thank you.” Kalia sat down and cuddled
Mani on her lap.

Fiona reached in her handbag for a tissue. “Je
m’excuse,” she apologized. “This is crazy, I know, but I had a flash of
Alexandre when you brought him into the room. The resemblance to Alexandre at
that age took my breath away.” She dabbed at her eyes.

Kalia took a deep breath. There was no easy
way to break this news. “I wanted you to meet Mani because he’s Alexandre’s
son,” she said slowly.

Silence.

Fiona and Alain didn’t move a muscle.

Kalia wondered if she’d made a huge mistake.
“I’m sorry. This must be an awful shock.” She rubbed Mani’s back.

“On the contrary,” Alain said quietly. “Did
Alexandre know?”

“No,” Kalia said sadly. “I didn’t realize
he was ill. He passed away before I had a chance to tell him. I’m so very sorry
about that. He never knew.”

“He would have made a wonderful father,” Fiona
said gently. “Mani’s precious, Kalia. It must have been a difficult time for
you.”

“I loved Alexandre, Fiona. I still miss him.
And probably will forever. I’m thankful every day that I have Mani. He’s a joy
to me, and I’d hoped he’d bring the same joy to you.”

“Thank you, Kalia. For sharing him.”

Mani squirmed and wiggled until he was down
off Kalia’s lap. He crawled over to a basket of toys and flipped the lid off. He
reached in and pulled out a rattle, a stuffed bear, and a set of plastic
stacking cups. He plopped himself down and started to play.

“How old is he, Kalia?” Fiona asked.

“Nine months. His birthday is July ninth.”

“Oh, Alexandre was a summer baby, too. His
birthday was June twenty-fourth. Look how clever he is,” Fiona said, delighted,
as she watched Mani stack the cups.

Mani looked up as he stacked the last cup,
then knocked the whole thing over, clapping with a squeal and a grin. The cups
scattered. Fiona bent to pick up one that landed at her feet. She brought it
back to Mani, and sitting on the floor with him, helped stack them again. Mani
babbled as he took the cups she handed him. Fiona chatted with him, naming the colors
and praising him as he carefully placed each one on the growing tower.

After knocking the tower over again, Mani
crawled over and balanced his weight on Fiona’s knee, then handed her his bunny
to hold. He took a cup in each hand. She stroked his fine, black hair with a
look of wonder and joy on her face. She looked over at Alain and smiled.

Alain smiled back. “It’s a gift.”

“We’re grandparents.” Fiona laughed as she
softly kissed the top of Mani’s head.

Kalia sighed at the love that passed
between the two. “While you get acquainted, I’ll just finish putting lunch
together,” she said as she rose and headed to the kitchen.

It had been the right choice. They looked
so happy. It was lovely to see Fiona without the cloud of sadness. She looked
ten years younger as she sat and played with Mani. Kalia hadn’t realized how
worried Alain had been until he sighed and relaxed when Fiona joined Mani on
the floor. He carried his own grief along with the sorrow of his wife. Both, it
seemed, had eased.

She put the sandwiches together and lightly
tossed a salad. She arranged the plates on the table in the sunny nook and pulled
Mani’s high chair close to the table so he could join them in the meal.

She walked back into the living room and
stopped and smiled at the sight. Fiona was playing peek-a-boo with Mani, and
both laughed every time Fiona peeked.

“Lunch is ready, if you’d like to come to
the kitchen,” Kalia said.

Three smiling faces turned to her. Fiona
stood up gracefully and lifted Mani as he raised his arms to be carried. She
cuddled him close with a look of sheer contentment. “Where’s the kitchen?” she
asked Mani.

He pointed to the doorway where Kalia stood
and wiggled excitedly.

They settled Mani in his high chair and sat
down. It was an animated lunch. Fiona was curious about Kalia’s pregnancy and
the details of Mani’s birth. Kalia told them about Mack and how Mani responded
to his music. She learned that Alexandre had played saxophone and wondered if
Mani would have a musical ear. It was wonderful to learn about Alexandre with
Fiona and Alain in an atmosphere of happiness and pride and to see the joy and
wonder in their eyes as they watched Mani.

The afternoon flew by. Alain checked his
watch and looked regretfully at Fiona. “It’s getting late, and we have dinner
plans with friends.”

Fiona sighed. “This afternoon has gone by
far too quickly,” she said, watching Mani. She stood and went over and hugged
Kalia. Pulling back, she held Kalia’s hands in her own. “Thank you, Kalia, for
sharing him with us. He is such a joy. Alexandre would be so proud. We’ll keep
in touch, oui? I will need to visit again.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “I
know it is rude to invite myself, but I will need this as I need to breathe. And
you are welcome to come to us at any time for any length. We’d thoroughly enjoy
that. I am grateful for the technology that will allow us to video call. But I
will need to hug you both soon.” She hugged Kalia close. “Thank you,” she
whispered in Kalia’s ear.

“Of course,” Kalia said quietly. “Mani is
lucky to have two sets of grandparents to love him. You’re welcome to stay with
us. When he’s a bit older, I’d like to visit and show him his father’s roots. I
think it will mean a lot to him as he grows.”

Alain stepped forward, and Kalia was
embraced in a bear hug as he wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you, Kalia. You
have no idea what this means to us. We feel privileged to have met you and Mani.
I’ve never seen Fiona happier.”

After another round of hugs and kisses,
Kalia and Mani waved Fiona and Alain on their way.

“Bientôt,” they promised. They would see
each other again soon.

Kalia set Mani down to play while she
tidied up the kitchen and sent up a silent prayer of thanks to Alexandre. Maybe
someday she would have been brave enough to contact his parents. Maybe. But she
could see how much it meant to them. And it felt right. She felt their love and
support. She would never close the book on that chapter of her life with
Alexandre. She didn’t want to. But she could turn the page and move forward. She
thought of Mack and realized how lucky she was to have found love again, to find
someone who loved her and Mani. The package deal, she thought with a smile.

She heard a noise at the back door and
turned to look. Mack walked in, closed the door, and started to shrug off his
coat.

He looked up to see Kalia smiling at him. “Hi,”
he said simply.

“Hi,” she replied with love in her eyes.

“How’d it go?”

“Good.” She sighed and slipped into his
arms. “Good. I didn’t have to tell them. They saw Alexandre in Mani, and they
knew before I said anything. But it was lovely, Mack. Fiona just glowed. She
looked so happy. Alain too, but I think he was happy to see some of the grief
leave Fiona. They love each other very much and already love Mani. Unconditionally.
No questions asked. They simply do.”

Mack pressed his lips gently to Kalia’s
forehead. “I know how they feel.”

Emotion swirled in Kalia’s heart. “I love
you, Mack.”

Mack’s arm tightened around her. “I love
you too, Kalia.” He pressed his lips to hers.

Mani squawked. Kalia looked down to see
Mani teetering beside them, tugging on Mack’s pant leg.

Mack looked down. “Hey, big guy. I love
you, too.” He picked Mani up and smiled when Mani snuggled against them.