Permanent Adhesives (22 page)

“You guys sound great together,” I said, joining Elias on the floor with some scissors and stickers.

“Ya think?”

“Sure do.”

Elias tried to stifle a yawn.

“Tired?”

“Not really.”

“We’re just that dull?”

“Exactly.”

“You know what? I don’t think a kiss needs to wait for our date. I was wrong.” I leaned forward and was about to kiss him when the doorbell rang. I sighed and put my finger on his lips. “Hold that kiss.” I was assuming it was probably Janie, and she forgot her keys or was too lazy to dig them out of her bag, so I opened the front door that led out to the hallway and then without looking, opened the front door to the building while turning back to go inside. I just wanted at Elias’ beautiful lips at that moment, so I was trying to hurry, but then I smelled a stank musty odor and realized it wasn’t Janie.

My dad shoved his way into the front hall with me. I turned, put my hands on my hips, and threw out a scowl.

“Hello darling,” he said in a drunken slur.

My brain immediately started screaming
Oh holy crap, Oh holy crap
! Seriously, out of all the times in the world, he had to pick that moment to show up. The one time I had people over. The one time I decided to take a chance. What was I thinking letting Kate talk me into having people over? God I was an idiot.

“What?” I snapped.

“I’m here to see your mother.”

“She’s not home.”

“She will be soon. I’m supposed to meet her.”

“Well, come back later.”

“No, I’ll just wait inside for her.”

“You can’t.”

“Oh, I can daughter.” I so did not want him entering the apartment. He stank to high heaven, his eyes were bloodshot, and he had his stupid shit-eating grin across his face.

“No, I said no. Wait on the porch.”

“Don’t you want to spend time with your dear old dad?”

“I’m busy,” I said, even though deep down somewhere I wish I did have a decent dad to spend time with. One who wouldn’t be drunk and would come over for dinner, and we’d be like a normal family where we talk about our day or our plans for the weekend. Instead, I had my dad with whom I was holding a snide conversation with there in the hall.

He ignored me and pushed pass down the hall and entered the apartment. Everybody kind of looked up when my dad walked in. I stood behind him probably looking kind of dumb because I’m sure I was frozen with my mouth hanging open. Kate looked at me and scrunched up her nose and mouthed, “What’s your dad doing here?”

I put my hands up, shrugged my shoulders, and shook my head. “In the kitchen,” I whispered to my dad’s back.

He turned towards me with his stupid grin. “Are these your friends?”

“They were just leaving, right guys?”

“They don’t have to leave on account of me,” my dad said with fake sweetness in his voice. He then spotted Elias, who sat up and was pretending the carpet was somehow very interesting.

“Oh, it’s Ewiash,” my dad said.

“Stop,” I murmured through my teeth.

Elias didn’t look up. He just sucked on his bottom lip.

“What Molly, that’s his name isn’t it? That’s how he says it himself is it not? Ewiash and his baby talk.”

Elias clasped his hands behind his head and drew his elbows in so they were covering the sides of his face. I guess it was a version of hiding without going anywhere. Everybody else sat there not saying anything and looking very uncomfortable. My dad crossed his arms, tilted his head, and just stared at Elias. It was almost as if he was challenging him, but Elias didn’t look up. I then heard the jangling of keys, and my mom appeared behind me in the doorway.

“What’s going on?” I asked my mom before she could say anything or take off her coat.

“I’m glad you’re home,” she said.

I didn’t like it already. Somehow I had a sneaking suspicion why my mom and dad were getting together and talking.

She looked all around the dining room and into the front room. “I didn’t know you were having friends over.”

“I didn’t know he was going to be here,” I retorted, pointing a finger at my dad.

“We have some things to discuss with your father.”

“Oh no,” I said. “I’m not discussing anything involving him.”

“Molly Astrid Pearson,” my mom said sternly.

I put my hands over my face. “Ahhh,” I screamed into them.

“Let’s just all go in the kitchen, huh?” my mom said, like it was going to magically cure the situation.

I shook my head no.

“Listen to your mother Molly,” my dad said.

“Excuse me?” I said about fifty octaves too high. Oh, he so had no right to tell me what to do, none whatsoever. He lost that privilege long ago. I then felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I looked behind me to see Elias.

“We’re gonna go. I’ll wait outside, okay?” Elias said in a barely audible tone.

My dad looked at Elias with a nefarious grin. Before my dad could insult him, Elias slipped out the door, with everybody else getting up. Nicki, Roberto, and Kate were trying to clean up our mess. “Just leave it guys,” I said, feeling tears starting to build.

“We’ll be in the kitchen,” my mom said.

I ignored her and talked to Kate. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

“You gonna be okay?” Kate asked.

I shrugged because I really had the slightest idea.

“Bye Molly,” Nicki said, waving and exiting.

I waved and then Roberto came and threw out a quick hug. Before Kate left she stuck her hands on my shoulders. “You’ll be fine. You’re strong. I think I’ll wait outside with Elias.”

I was going to tell her no, don’t worry about it, but I couldn’t get the words out because I was trying to hold my tears in. After Kate and the rest left, I stood in the middle of the dining room. My heart was racing, my tears were threatening, and I was feeling anxious all over. I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth to try to hold it all in.

“Molly!” my mom yelled from the kitchen.

I dropped my shoulders, sighed, and trudged into the kitchen. My mom was making coffee, and my dad was sitting with his arms crossed. He tilted his head and smiled. It made me instantly want to bolt, but before I could my mom said, “Have a seat Molly.”

“”I’m standing,” I said, shifting from foot-to-foot.

“So, you friends with Laura’s kid now?” my dad asked.

“Yeah, and?”

“There’s something wrong with him.”

“No there’s not. He’s perfectly fine. He just has a speech disorder.”

“Call it what you want, there’s still something wrong with him, up here too,” my dad said, tapping the side of his head.

“Probably cuz you’re so mean to him.”

“Me, you should hear his mother. I’m mild in comparison.”

“That still doesn’t give you the right.”

“I’m just messing with him.”

“I doubt that. What’s this all about anyways?”

My mom finished her coffee preparation and sat down. She still had on what she wore to work—a snowman sweater, black knit pants, and some taupe shoes that looked pretty orthopedic. “We were thinking about letting your dad move in.”

“What!” I shrieked so loud I’m sure the residents a few blocks over heard.

“Molly,” my mom said calmly.

“No, no, this is not happening.” I could feel my face turn a bright red. “No, no, no, no!” I shouted. I thought we were done with all that. My mom broke free, or so I believed. I swallowed down my heart. It was trying to beat itself out of my body by way of my esophagus.

“Janie and I were talking…”

“Janie, she agreed to this!” I yelled.

“Molly, stop yelling. It isn’t necessary,” my mom said.

“Yes, it is! This isn’t going to happen.”

“We have no money Molly. We need help.”

“Mother, it’s called child support. I’m still a minor, file for divorce and collect.”

“It’s not that easy Molly.”

“Yes, it is. You shouldn’t even be married to him still. He’s across the street living with his girlfriend.”

“Laura’s technically not my girlfriend anymore. I still love your mom Mols.”

“Bullshit!” I shouted.

“That’s enough,” my mom said.

I crossed my arms and huffed. “I’ll get a job. You can have all my money.”

“Your main focus should be school,” my mom said.

“School, really, since when are you concerned?”

“Molly, even if you get a job it won’t help that much. You’d have to save your money for college anyways.”

I looked over at my mom. “I’m going to say I told you so right now. If you let him move in here it’s going to end up like every other time this scene has occurred.” Before my mom took my sister and me and moved out, and before my dad lived in the garage, we had been in the same situation. “He says I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll stop drinking. I’ll go to meetings. Give it a few days, and you’ll see. He’ll be back to his same old drunken self.” I didn’t wait for a response. I ran out of the kitchen.

I just wanted out of there. I needed fresh air. I needed to breathe. Outside the cold air tried to enter my lungs; my deep inhales made it an almost painful process. I stood on top of the stairs, licked my lips, and tried to hold back the torrential downpour that was on the verge of happening. Just Kate, Roberto, and Elias were left outside. Elias said something to them, and they waved and took off. I didn’t move or attempt to wave back. Elias walked up the steps and grabbed both my hands.

“C’mon,” he said, letting go off the one hand, leading me down the stairs.

I followed his lead. I did not want to be anywhere near my house. We crossed the street over to Elias’ building. He opened the side gate and led me down the gangway which was quite dark, and I swear about ten degrees colder. He took me across the yard, let go of my hand, and rammed the side door to the garage with his shoulder. Then he gave it a kick, which led to the door actually opening. He went in, flipped a switch—a dim light glowed from inside—, and waved me in. I pouted my lips and entered. Elias went over and opened the rear passenger door to the junk heap of the car that resided in there.

“This is where I come when I can’t be inside, to think.”

I looked at him and sniffled.

“I won’t try anything funny. I swear,” Elias said with a small smile.

I sighed and climbed inside the car. Elias climbed in next to me, pulling the door shut after him.

I scooted down in the seat so my knees were up and pressing into the front seat. I covered my face with my hands and screamed. While I was screaming, Elias reached forward to the front seat and pulled out a couple of blankets from what looked like some jumbo sized sandwich bags. When I was done screaming, I rolled my head onto my shoulder and looked at Elias. He offered a warm smile and tucked a blanket around me. I opened my mouth to speak, but my eyes beat me to it, and the flood started. I lay down on my side and used Elias’ thigh as a pillow, pulled my blanket tight, and sobbed—full on sobbed. I didn’t hold back and let it all out. I was so embarrassed and pissed and mad and fed up with my mom, my dad, my life. I was tired of it all, and I just didn’t know what to do but cry. Elias lightly stroked my hair and let me soak his blanket with my tears. It felt good letting it out, but the pain was still there, and I wasn’t sure if it’d ever go away. After I got to the point where it seemed crying was exhausting me, I sat up and lay my head back on the seat.

“God why, seriously why?” I asked between heavy breaths. “This happens every time. I thought we were done with all this crap. My mom went over a year without letting him move back in. I thought she was gaining freedom from him, ya know?”

“I dunno Molly,” Elias said with a head shake.

“He’ll tell my mom he’s going to stop drinking, but he’s just gonna end up drunk again in a few days. They’ll fight, she’ll throw him out, and the cycle will continue. My nerves can’t handle this stuff anymore. I thought we were done with it.” And then I was crying again. Elias scooted over to me so our shoulders were touching. He leaned his head back and looked at the car ceiling with me.

“And then it all has to happen in front of my friends. This is awful.”

“Molly, you don’t have to be worried about your friends. They’re your friends. They don’t care about stuff like that.”

“But I do. I don’t want people to know this is my life.”

“Why not?”

“Cuz it sucks, and it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing. It’s just life, ya know?”

“No, it’s embarrassing.”

“Okay, so it might be, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all like you for you Molly and not who your family is.”

I sighed and looked over at Elias. “I guess. I’ve been trying so hard to hide it for so long, it just seems like the truth isn’t supposed to be known to others.”

“Sometimes the truth has a way of getting out.”