Persian Girls: A Memoir (36 page)

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Authors: Nahid Rachlin

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5. How do the women in
Persian Girls
support one another? How do they fail to support one another? How do men come between the women? What do you make of the scene in which Nahid and her friend Mahvash are temporarily estranged from each other because they desire the same man, the writer Ardavani (page 114)? How do you interpret the author’s observation about her Lindengrove classmates: “If a student had plans with a female friend and then a boy called and asked her out at the same time, she would automatically accept the date and cancel plans with the girlfriend” (page 143)? Have you had similar experiences in your life?
6. The author’s parents refuse to let Pari marry Majid, the man she loves. In reaction, the author says: “I wondered if Father and Mohtaram were evil. But my grandmother, whom I loved so much, had done the same to her daughters, had forced them to marry men she and my grandfather chose. They themselves were victims of the oppressive system that dictated to people how they should feel and live their lives” (page 69).
How much did culture and religion shape the choices the author’s parents made for their children? If her parents had been born in another time and place, would they have made different choices? For instance, would they have allowed the author to stay with her adoptive mother, instead of bringing her back to Ahvaz against her will? Would they have allowed their daughters to pursue their dreams and marry for love? In your own life, how much do you feel that culture and religion shape your choices? How much do you feel that culture and religion shaped your parents’ choices for you?
7. After her father’s death, the author says: “He had had so much power over me, had forcibly changed the course of my life, but ultimately much of it had been for the good” (page 242).
What do you think she means by this? Does she, in hindsight, agree with the choices he made for her? Do you think that she has regrets about defying some of her father’s choices, by, for example, not returning to Iran after graduating from Lindengrove? Or is her statement simply a testament to the power of forgiveness? Did anything about the author’s relationship with her father remind you of your own relationship with your father?
8. After the author’s father forces her to return to Ahvaz, her biological mother, Mohtaram, is cold and distant to her. This goes on for many years. But then, the author overhears Mohtaram saying, “Nahid treats me like an enemy,” and wonders: “Was it possible that I had started the pattern of coldness between us? Was it me who had rebuffed her that first day, years ago, when Father brought me home?” (pages 99-100). The author also worries about betraying her adoptive mother if she opens up to Mohtaram even a little. Later, before she leaves for Lindengrove, she accuses Mohtaram: “You gave me away.” Mohtaram offers an explanation and then embraces her for the first time since she was a baby (page 136).
How do the author’s relationships with Mohtaram and Maryam evolve over the course of the book? By the end of the book, has the author made peace with the fact that she has
two
mothers? Did anything about the author’s relationship with either Mohtaram or Maryam remind you of your relationship with your mother?
9. The author repeatedly begs her father to let her go to an American college; he repeatedly says no. Then, one day, shortly after the Ayatollah Khomeini is arrested, he announces that he has changed his mind, and has even picked out a school for her.
Why do you think he changed his mind? Was he afraid that she would get into trouble in the increasingly repressive political climate—or was it something else?
10. In a note at the beginning of the book, the author says: “This is a book of my memories, as I recall them, and what I was told when I was old enough to understand. I haven’t interviewed family members and friends to get their impressions of certain incidents in our lives.”
In reading
Persian Girls
, did you ever find yourself wanting to know the other characters’ points of view—the author’s father, Mohtaram, Maryam, Pari, her other siblings, Pari’s two husbands, Pari’s lover Majid, and so on? Do you imagine that their accounts would be very different from the author’s? In what way? In general, how can a writer achieve “fairness” or “completeness” in work of non-fiction that is told strictly from his or her point of view?
11. After Pari’s death, the author becomes obsessed with finding out the truth of why she died. Do you feel that she accomplishes this? How do you interpret the events of Pari’s life and death? In the end, the author says: “Yes, dearest Pari, it is to bring you back to life that I write this book” (page 288). Did she succeed in doing this for you as a reader?
12. After Pari reveals her love for Majid to her sister, the two promise each other that they will not succumb to arranged marriages. “We promised each other that we would marry only for love,” the author relates. “Arranged marriage was a disaster, we decided. . . . We didn’t want to be links in that long chain of tradition that went back to our ancestors. Pari and I had to break the pattern” (page 66). Why do you think Pari eventually broke this promise and agreed to marry Taheri?
13. At Pari’s wedding, the author overhears a conversation that suggests that some Iranians get into trouble with the law because they try to act “too Western.” One man says: “It’s all the Westoxication that creates turmoil.” Another says that Iranians shouldn’t envy or try to imitate Americans: “Our view of America isn’t all realistic. If you examine the country closely you see serious problems there. All the suicide, murder, violence. There’s no soul.” A third man agrees: “[There’s no] closeness between people there, no sense of family. They are a lonely crowd.”
What do you think about these statements? Do you believe that the United States has a “Westoxicating” effect on other cultures? After the author and Pari see the movie
A Star Is Born,
Pari longs to be more American: “Those women can choose a career, marry a person they love. . . . We aren’t given any options. Freedom is just a trophy the Shah dangles before us” (page 52). Do Pari and the author—before she comes to the United States—have a realistic view of this country?
14. When the author first comes to the United States, she gets various reactions to the fact that she is Iranian. The dean at Lindengrove insists that she wear her “native costume”—a chador—for Parents’ Day, even though she did not wear it back in Iran (page 143). The father of her classmate Linda asks the author: “[H]ow do you like our country so far? Isn’t it lucky you came here?” (page 153). Linda’s mother tells her: “You’re so much more refined than other foreigners” (page 154).
What do you think of these comments? Are they racist? In your life, how do you distinguish racist comments from nonracist ones, especially if they seem friendly or benign on the surface?
15. How much did you know about recent Iranian history before reading
Persian Girls
? How did your views about Iranian politics and culture change after reading the book? How did your views about American politics and culture change after reading the book?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Born in Iran, Nahid Rachlin has lived in the United States since college. Her works include four novels—
Jumping Over Fire, Foreigner, Married to a Stranger,
and
The Heart’s Desire—
and a collection of short stories,
Veils.
As a student, she was awarded both a Doubleday-Columbia fellowship from Columbia University and a Wallace Stegner fellowship from Stanford University. Among her honors are the Bennett Cerf Award, a PEN Syndicated Fiction Project Award, and a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. Rachlin currently teaches at the New School University and the Unterberg Poetry Center of the 92nd Street Y, and is an associate fellow at Yale University. For more about Nahid Rachlin, visit
www.nahidrachlin.com
.

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