Persona (48 page)

Which is ‘when is the best time is to ditch every single person here and form a one person search party’; because that is what is running through his mind. Liam stomps outside, not really paying attention to where he is going or who he passes. He knows it’s really pathetic that he is mostly irritated that he wasn’t the one to leave the room first. How his father can make him feel like a pup sometimes, he’ll never know.

That is until the scent of apples leads him to one of the many barns on the property. He comes to a stop just shy of the entrance, but he doesn’t go inside.

Instead, he peers around the side until the sweet scent of apples leads him to Moira.

She is almost smiling, while standing around with Raven, Daisy and even Ray. They seem at peace, something he hadn’t noticed them having in a while. He was planning on telling her everything that is going through his head.

Most of all, he was kind of hoping she might actually want to help him in searching for Marty. Seeing her now though, he realizes that it just might hurt her.

That is something he doesn’t want to happen, but before he can move away, she glances right over to him. He forgot that if he can sense her, then she can with him as well. In a blurring move, Liam spins away and leans against the side of the barn.

His skin is alive with a tingling hum of his persona and maybe a little bit of hers. His breath is coming in pants, and he thinks he might have made a mistake of coming here.

Before he can freak out, like a kid caught with its hand in the cookie jar, he walks away. It doesn’t go unnoticed to him, that she doesn’t stop him by calling out like last time.

Her eyes and apple flavored persona follow him like a dark cloud as he moves; making him wish he was stronger than he is.

If he was, he’d walk back into the barn and tell her everything, but he’s not, and he doesn’t.

***

The following morning, Moira gets out of having to do more barn chores with the Raven and Daisy, since Marshall wants to see her again. This time he is the one that sought her out, while she was just heading out.

“So we are really about to clean the barn again?” Raven groans out in a whining tone.

“No, not the barn, I already told you twice; we’re milking cows today.” Daisy replied a little too cheerfully with a bright smile plastered on her face.

She and Raven share a slightly irritated look, one that says ‘is that girl out of her mind?’ meaning Daisy of course. Who is their right mind would be happy to milk cows? Moira can’t really be angry though, being here on the ranch is like seventh Heaven to Daisy. It’s like she has finally come back to her homeland and is at peace. Not that she is ever not peaceful, but that is the way Moira thinks it appears.

Then there is Ray, who has been glued to her side since they got here. He is another one that is at home here and he just stands off to the side and lets us girls have our time together.

“Oh goodie for us.” Raven gushes out lifelessly as Daisy sticks her tongue out at her.

Moira is about to think how strange it seems like she is already getting used to being around here like this; normal and not the girl all the bad guys want. That is when Marshall shows up. Before they can even get outside through the back veranda, he appears behind them too quietly.

She is grateful that Liam isn’t the one to take her to him this time. It was awkward enough when she saw him the day before, like he wanted to tell her something and chickened out; not that she wants to hear anymore apologies from him.

He did act almost protective when she first met his dad, but who knows, that boy is fickle.

Her friends were unsure of her leaving them, when Marshall had pulled her aside to see of they could have some time this morning. There was no hitting though, just severe glares that made her roll her eyes at him to stop it. Daisy, who was smiling at her, pulls the others away as Moira watches over Marshall’s shoulders.

To her relief, he didn’t witness her friend’s weirdness, mostly since he was so focused on her. Apparently she was coming off as a skittish rabbit though, and he was worried she might run away because he seemed to be a little too close to her.

She didn’t run though, if she could, that would be something she did a long time ago.

Marshall had told her he wanted to test her abilities today, to see what she is really capable of. And to be perfectly honest, she was more than a little leery at first hearing this. But he quickly reassured her, by clarifying that it’s just her persona that he wants to investigate; and no actual tests. She had sighed pretty loudly at that last part, and it wasn’t long before she agreed to work on her persona.

She always wondered what it would be like is she could actually control it more, and not feel so shaken and worked up all the time. Moira always thought it would be wrong to try to work on it by herself, and it’s not like she could talk to Fletcher about it.

That is how she now currently finds herself sitting cross-legged on a thin mat placed on the middle of the floor in the library. Oddly enough, the room actually looks like a library that a school would have; with real stacks and all. There were even small rectangular tables in the middle of the room for reading, but she and Marshall had moved them out of the way for training.

She uses the word training very lightly here; because she hasn’t done anything other than sitting in the same position for about an hour now. Marshall had told her the best training for ones persona, is the best relaxed and controlled mind.

She just knows he’s talking smack, because the man is sitting across the room at one of the tables reading a novel. So much for him being her teacher or some crap.

He glances up at her and clears his throat none too subtly, and she abruptly shuts her eyes closed. It’s too late though; she was totally caught not concentrating. That is what she was supposed to be doing; concentrating.

On what, she has no idea.

All he told her was that she had to clear her mind of all thoughts, and just focus on everything else. Sitting here in the quiet room, filled with books that smell strongly of old musty ink; she has to wonder if she is just wasting her time. It should be easier to empty her mind, but for some reason, she just can’t do it. One thing she was great at before any of this was her ability to focus on just feeling her persona. Now, she’s lucky if she even feels it before it take over her.

She picks up on the fresh scent of herbs laced with a spicy hint of cinnamon, a second before she hears approaching footsteps.

Opening her eyes, and trying to not look so useless as she feels, she finds that Marshall is now kneeling next to her a good foot away. He doesn’t look disappointed though, like she thought he might, but instead looks thoughtful.

“Having some trouble relaxing are we?” He says with a hint of a smile.

Not bothering to lie, she simply nods at him. In returns his smile goes wide as he appears like he already knew that.

“Try to not completely focusing on trying to relax. Just focus on all of your senses, and let them lead you. Try to take anything and everything in at the same time, until there is just you and your persona.”

Taking a deep breath, she nods again as he gets to hit feet again and heads back over to the table and his waiting book. By the time he sits down again, Moira closes her eyes and tries to do what he just told her.

It’s a lot more work than someone would think, just trying to concentrate; but then maybe others have it easier.

Realizing she is getting distracted again, Moira halt’s her mind from wandering to things that will no doubt trap her. She takes deep and even breathes, and zeroes in on the scents of the room; starting with Marshall, since his is the most powering. Just beneath his spiced herbal scent, she then picks up on the musty ink of all the books again. This time they seem almost stronger to her nose, and as she breathes it in, she scents the leather of the mat under her.

The leather smells almost like new, still strong, but at the same time there is a used quality to it; like if she tried hard enough she could smell who the last ones that were near it. Before she can even think about freaking over that, something spicy sweet tickles her senses.

It’s like the smell of a fresh warm wind blowing across an apple orchard in late autumn. She instantly wonders if she smells the trees that are just outside, but then she feels the light caress of tingles dancing across her skin. It has been so long since she felt this, that it takes her a moment to realize that it’s her persona and that isn’t all.

She vaguely remembers Liam telling her that her persona smells like apples to him. If she smells apples now and at the same time feeling her persona, she has a thought if maybe she is scenting herself.

She doesn’t try to think too much though, and instead lets the sensations play across her body and senses alike.

It used to always start like that, like tiny bugs crawling all over her and her skin breaks out in goose bumps from it. Moira thinks of this feeling as a warning system, that she is about to lose control, well she used to anyway, now she lets it be the one to take charge.

In her mind, she pictures herself sitting here on the floor and slowly envisions her hair changing from wavy strawberry blonde to a silky auburn mass of curls. Brought on by the thought, the tingling travels along her scalp and she feels her hair rising up from her back and settling past her shoulders.

Concentrating now, she pictures herself standing in front of a mirror so that she is staring into her hazel eyes and see’s that they look like a mix between green and brown. The tingling travels from her scalp to her eyes making them itch and water for a second, and she knows that if she were to look at them, they would be changing to a deep emerald color.

She keeps her eyes closed though, as to not be distracted by her heightened sight. Taking a deep breath, she empty’s her mind further and concentrates on just letting her persona wash over her with a newfound ease, that she didn’t even realize was missed.

The next part is a little difficult, but after a while she feels her hands tingle.

They feel like they were asleep and are slowly waking up; it starts in her palms and travels up into her fingertips. She has to force them to remain still, where they lay draped across her knees. And without any pain, she feels her nails grow out and not having to look she knows they are pointed at the tips now.

Now that the rest is complete, the tingling travels throughout her body again, and migrates to her neck. It feels like a muscle spasm for a second, and she has to remain calm and control her breathing. From her neck, it lingers up into her jaw so that her gums feel like they are vibrating.

She feels a stinging sensation almost to the point of pain and then it’s gone, as she feels her teeth push up. Opening her mouth slightly, she makes room for her teeth to elongate into sharpened points.

Smiling, she finally opens her eyes.

When she does, she finds that Marshall is kneeling in front of her smiling again. His features are much clearer to her sharpened eyes, and she can physically sense that he is struggling to keep his persona at bay. His grey eyes keep flickering to the bright color of Liam’s own lavender; and she has a great feeling of pride.

She can’t stop the laughter that pours out of her, because it had been too long since she could call on her persona without having to be past the point of anger. She feels oddly peaceful and powerful all at the same time, and not the crazy untamable powerful as of late either.

“See, I knew you could do it. Now try doing it in reverse. Concentrate on nothing but letting your persona ease out of you piece by piece.”

She wants to argue so badly, as she watches him walk away from her again. And here she thought she finally mastered her skill, but apparently not.

Knowing she has to bide her time, and let him feel like he can trust her, especially if she really wants to help Marty.

And getting Marshall’s trust is key, more so if she wants him to agree in helping her in a crazy plan.

So, even though she wants nothing more than a nap and maybe a glass of water, Moira focuses on her breathing again. She lets the tingling bee hive of her persona flow though her body, and sets her mind at ease.

***

Liam is in his room later that night feeling antisocial, and thinks himself a wuss for not going into the barn to see Moira. He knows he should have, she does have a right to know what is going on. Or more importantly, to know that what he thinks is going on. He would give anything to make it up to her, and even more, it makes him angry that he wants that in the first place.

Then there is the topping on the cake, in which he didn’t even stand up to his father. Liam totally just let him talk him out of doing anything at all. Like the man said though, it could only end one way, and that would have been the bad way; for the both of them. There is too much going on, to have the only two guys on the bench because of a father and son squabble.

And so, lying on his bed and aimlessly gazing around him room seems like the best way to stay out of trouble. His room is bland, as he is never at home for long periods of time. He does however, have the amenities of a bed, dresser, desk, and a burrow of a large collection of classic novels. The wall over his desk is littered with maps of the region and tacks representing pack members that live there.

He knows it’s not exactly the kind of room most guys his age have, but then, he isn’t really the average guy. He does wonder though, if one day he could actually feel normal enough to have some pretty decent digs; he dismisses the thought with a laugh though.

He is in no way ever being interested in decorating, anything, ever.

Wishing he could just go to sleep and wake up with all this crap over and done with, Liam knows he can’t, even if he wanted to. Mostly because, he knows that his trusted ‘friends’ are probably sitting in the woods right this second around a huge smoking fire.

One in fact that he distinctly remembered telling them not to do; but whatever, he’s only the one in charge.