Petronella Saves Nearly Everyone (15 page)

"Kidnappers, is it? Fine tale, that."

"Yes, it is. When are you going to be on duty so I can tell you about it?" I asked.

He puffed out his chest. "I'm on duty now. You can tell me, miss."

"But when are you going to be inside your station? You do have the key, don't you? How do I know you're not just posing as a bobby?"

He sighed and took out a ring of keys from his pocket, slipped one of the keys into the lock, and opened the door. Out rolled Jane, tied up in a sack with only her eyes showing. They were quite large and filled with tears. I hoped they were tears of relief.

"Well, I never," said the bobby.

I gently released the rope that tied the sack. The knots were not nearly as tidy as the ones Miss Spackering had taught me, exhibiting a shocking lack of professionalism on Pedro's part, and were therefore much more easily undone. "Oh, Jane. What have they done to you?"

She mumbled something, but I could not hear because of the gag in her mouth. I undid that as well.

The bobby and I raised her to a standing position, but she collapsed, and we had to set her down on the stone wall next to the police station.

I sat next to her and took her hand in mine. "Are you all right?" I asked as I handed her a rather crumpled handkerchief that I unwound from my somewhat squashed ham sandwich.

She sniffed and blew her nose into the handkerchief. "Yes, thank you. I've been wanting to do that all night."

"Glad to oblige," I said. As the morning sun warmed my back, a lovely peace stole over me. Family, friends, and country were all safe. If only Uncle Augustus would take the antidote, all would be well and I could concentrate on a brilliant London season.

"Is that a ham sandwich?" Jane asked. "I'm rather hungry. Adventuring does that to one, doesn't it?"

At that moment James rushed across the square and knelt at Jane's feet. "Jane, dear. Are you all right?"

"Quite," she answered. She smiled at her brother but then looked longingly at the sandwich.

I handed it to her. "Adventuring does indeed make one hungry. I've become rather an expert in that area."

EVEN WHEN ONE HAS RESCUED
one's dearest friend, as well as several relations and other persons of consequence, in addition to the British economy and the Panamanian cause for liberty, there is still, forever and always, something that requires one's attention. That is, unless one is deceased, and I, fortunately, was not.

When Jane was finished with the ham sandwich and we had explained all that had transpired since we last met, I rose to my feet and held out my hand to her. "Dearest friend, do you feel up to a ride? We must return Sir Alastair's carriage and retrieve miscellaneous relations who are most likely without the means of retrieving themselves."

"Absolutely not, old prune. Jane is much too battered to
cavort about in a carriage. Give her time to collect herself," said James.

Jane grasped my hand and pulled herself up, albeit a bit shakily. Our eyes met, and we exchanged the silent message of friendship and the knowledge that men can be ever so silly regarding misconceptions of female intrepidity. She swallowed the last bite of ham sandwich and said, "Nonsense, James. I'm not some hothouse flower. Besides, aren't you the least bit curious about those you left at the docks?"

We turned to the bobby, who was standing open-mouthed near his minuscule police station, looking every bit as silly as James. I bent my head grandly in the bobby's direction. "Thank you for your good offices, sir. We truly appreciate your cooperation, and your country thanks you as well."

We nearly made it to the carriage before Jane and I burst into a fit of the giggles. The carriage had been driven by the alert driver nearer to the corner where the police station was located and where we were situated.

Jane turned back toward James. "Are you coming or not? Too tired, dear brother?"

At that, James leaped to his feet from where he had been sitting on the wall and strode forward to insert himself between Jane and myself. He took Jane's arm on one side, and my arm on his other. Did I delude myself, or did he hold my
arm close in a particularly warm manner? How was it that after all that had happened, I still tingled at his touch? I felt myself to have grown much older in the last few days, having changed in many ways from the girl whose coming-out party was foremost on her mind. For one thing, I now knew I was capable of more than I had thought possible and that my family, friends, and country mattered.

However, James could still make my heart flutter. It fluttered all the more when James pulled Jane and me closer still and exclaimed, "All for one and one for all!" We laughed rather giddily. Then he handed us into the carriage.

Before James entered, I heard him say, "Here's the promised hundred quid. Now we may return to the docks and Sir Alastair."

The driver answered, "Right, sir. And may Oi just say Oi'm appy to ave been of some small service in rescuin' the miss. Right bit of detective work that were."

"Right," said James, not admitting that it had been
my
right bit of detective work, for which I felt the slightest bit peeved. Then he swung himself into the carriage, and we were off once more, only not quite in such a harum-scarum manner as we had come.

***

THE DOCKS WERE
still abustle, but there were a few differences. Most of the Home Office personnel were absent, along with Don Hernando and Pedro, as were the inspector, sergeant, Georgie Grimsley, the dame, and the generalissimo. My relations stood about looking quite miserable, although Moriarty was in the act of serving them tea from a tea trolley he had somehow procured. He also had acquired cakes.

The most startling difference was the presence of Professor Lepworthy, in deep conversation with Sir Alastair, Uncle Augustus, and the remaining Home Office personnel.

"What is Professor Lepworthy doing here?" asked Jane as she alighted from the carriage.

"I have no idea," said James. "Perhaps he came because of the Tou-eh-mah-mah butterflies."

A light dawned in my weary brain. I remembered the strange sound on the ship. "No, not butterflies. The thrumming I heard. Mosquitoes. Yellow fever or malaria," I said.

"What are you talking about?" asked Jane.

"The yellow fever and malaria Don Hernando said he would unleash from the ship," I explained.

James said, "You mean that theory that Dr. Finlay and Dr. Gorgas have been putting about that mosquitoes carry those tropical diseases?" He proved once again that all of his muscles were magnificent, including those in his head.

I scurried toward Uncle, calling over my shoulder, "Precisely. Don Hernando threatened worse than a kidnapping. What would happen to London if a ship full of mosquitoes carrying tropical diseases was unleashed on an unsuspecting populace?"

Jane and James scurried after me. "Disaster," they said in unison.

As we approached Uncle Augustus, Professor Lepworthy—whose errant toupee was held firmly in place by a bowler hat—and Sir Alastair, we heard Sir Alastair protesting, "But it has not even been proven that mosquitoes carry disease. It is much more likely to be dirty linen."

"Yes, it has, Chumpy, old prune. Do listen to reason and exercise a bit of caution," said Uncle. "It is unfortunate that you sent your men onto the ship and they entered the hold, but at least we now know that the true cargo of this ship is vats and vats of mosquito larvae and that they are meant to decimate London once they are dumped in the Thames."

Professor Lepworthy added, "Yes, I'm sorry for your poor men. I expect they'll be in hospital within three or four days. However, their actions may have saved England by alerting us to the danger. The mosquitoes they brought out are indeed the
Stegomyia
and the
Anopheles,
which scientific researchers have proven to be the carriers of yellow fever and malaria. Most interesting. The
Anopheles
especially—it
bites while standing on its head." Professor Lepworthy unfolded a piece of waxed paper, undoubtedly supplied by Uncle Augustus, who was still clutching
Insectile Creatures.
He studied whatever was deposited on it through a magnifying glass. "Definitely a
Stegomyia.
"

Sir Alastair harrumphed. I could see he was waffling in his opinions and not quite sure what to do, so I decided to make a foray into political arbitration. "So good to see you here, Sir Alastair. You will know just what to tell the newspapers about how you saved England from certain death. It is a great comfort to know that a man of your stature will have the foresight to avert disaster through the latest scientific means."

Sir Alastair looked thoughtful. "I would look heroic, wouldn't I?" He turned to Professor Lepworthy. "And what exactly is the latest scientific method?"

Professor Lepworthy was busily engaged in examining the mosquitoes on the waxed paper, exclaiming particularly over the beauty of the
Stegomyia.
He said rather absently, "It's actually quite easy to kill these delicate creatures. All you have to do is spray them with kerosene. Then the film that settles on the water where the larvae reside also kills the larvae because they cannot breathe. Major Walter Reed has been killing them off by the millions in Havana using that method. Pity. They're such interesting creatures."

Uncle Augustus stepped forward. "I volunteer to go into the hold to do the spraying," he said with an eagerness that belied his motive.

"What, old boy? You'd put yourself at risk to save your country?" Sir Alastair was visibly affected by his friend's proposed sacrifice.

I, however, was under no illusion as to my uncle's goal in making such an offer. He was anticipating lunch. There was one problem. I said, "A grand idea, dear uncle. However, would you not be putting yourself at risk of succumbing to disease if you are bitten?"

Uncle Augustus's eager countenance fell under the onslaught of reason, much as Rome had fallen to the Gauls.

"Not likely. Not after what has happened to him," said Professor Lepworthy under his breath. He looked up from his study of the mosquitoes to find all our attention firmly directed toward him. He glanced from Uncle Augustus to me and then to Jane and James and finally to Sir Alastair. The expressions on our faces ranged from puzzlement on Sir Alastair's countenance to various stages of alarm. Professor Lepworthy could be referring only to the change that had been wrought on Uncle Augustus. I shuddered to think what Sir Alastair would think of that. It would be the ruination of Uncle's reputation—and mine.

When the professor looked in my direction, I shook my head in negation and warning. So did Uncle Augustus, Jane, and James as he scanned their visages. Jane raised one finger to her lips.

"Oh," said Professor Lepworthy as he registered our condemnation of revealing certain information. "No?"

We all shook our heads more vigorously.

"Oh, what? No, what?" demanded Sir Alastair acerbically, clearly taking umbrage at our silent code.

Professor Lepworthy seemed to consider what to do for a moment, then withdrew another bit of waxed paper from his pocket and unfolded it, holding it before us. He said, "Observe the Tou-eh-mah-mah butterfly and beetle that I captured near the logs that have been unloaded from the
Estrella.
These insects are known to feast on the
Stegomyia
and the
Anopheles
mosquitoes. Once the mosquitoes have been eaten, the beetles produce a serum that provides a natural immunity to malaria and yellow fever. Ingesting such insects is one way known to aboriginal tribes of acquiring immunity, much like what happens to those who have had the diseases and become immune to them." He nodded meaningfully at Uncle Augustus, who suddenly seemed much happier—overjoyed, in fact.

"Are you suggesting we eat those insects in order to acquire immunity? Quite disgusting and ... and un-British,"
said Sir Alastair. "Besides, what does it have to do with you, Augustus?"

Uncle Augustus turned toward the home secretary. "I think the professor was merely reminding me that over the course of my lifetime, and, er, certain events, I have acquired a natural immunity to malaria and yellow fever. Am I correct in making such an assumption?" Uncle turned toward Professor Lepworthy, who nodded vigorously.

"Quite so," said the professor.

"I had no idea you'd been through such an ordeal," said Sir Alastair. "That does rather change my view of your sacrifice on behalf of Mother England. Not nearly so dangerous, what?"

"Precisely," said Uncle. "Therefore, I suggest I board the
Estrella
and ascertain the best procedure to, um, dispatch the mosquitoes while you send your men for spraying equipment and kerosene."

"Very good," said Sir Alastair. He immediately gathered his remaining government men and was soon in conversation with them.

"And now, if you'll excuse me," said Uncle Augustus to Jane, James, Professor Lepworthy, and me as he patted
Insectile Creatures
with great satisfaction. "I have a little matter to attend to." With that he sauntered off toward the
Estrella,
with a spring in his step that anticipated the culinary delights awaiting him.

"He can't mean to..." said Jane.

"How many thousands of them are there?" asked James.

"Millions, more than likely," answered Professor Lepworthy.

"Bravo, Uncle Augustus," I said. I burst into laughter and was quickly joined by the others, all except Sir Alastair, who looked as if he thought himself transported to Bedlam.

WHEN ONE HAS CAUSE TO
celebrate, one should do so. However, in order to celebrate to the fullest, one must not be merely one. One must have friends who feel some investment in the cause for celebration. Such was the case the next noon as Uncle Augustus and I welcomed Jane and James to a celebratory nuncheon on the south lawn.

I enjoyed the sumptuous repast, especially after the deprivations of the previous few days, as did Jane. James, of course, always has a hearty appetite. However, in spite of the variety and abundance of foodstuffs present, Uncle seemed content merely to watch us as we partook of the delicacies on the table, his hands folded over his rounded tummy, clearly still satiated by his feast on the ship the day before. We discussed our adventures, filling each other in on the events that had taken place when we were apart. We were just describing to Uncle how we had found Jane, when Moriarty approached.