Phantom Eyes (Witch Eyes) (7 page)

“Follow it down to the rabbit’s warren.
Think.
Maybe the lighthouse is shielded from him, but how does he not know about what she did to you? Even if she is hidden, wouldn’t he know you were stolen from this world, even for a few moments? How was it that your fate was hidden from him so neatly? Without even a wrinkle in the fabric of life.”

I didn’t want to play games. Didn’t want to wonder. “Tell me.”

He frowned. I wasn’t playing the game, and he loved games. “She hides herself. I suppose it’s a simple enough talent, once you have a little demon succor in your veins.”

That was how Grace had stayed under the radar all these years.
Lucien hadn’t seen any of it, hadn’t found out the
reason
behind my sudden power outage. The gaping hole in my metaphoric chest that had plagued me ever since. And then there was Riley. Attacking him the way I had, accidentally using Riley’s mind as a battleground. Afterward he’d screamed at me. Demanding “What did you do?” like the truth was too alien to comprehend.

“She hides herself,” I repeated in a whisper.

“And that made all the difference,” Matthias murmured with a satisfied smile.

“And you? You know how to hide yourself from him, too, don’t you?”

Matthias laughed. “Who do you think showed the lovely Widow how to disappear in the first place?”

I looked over at Riley. She was awake and watching me. Our eyes met. “There’s a Bishop in Black’s house,” she confided, as though it was a secret only the two of us were privy to. “He’s so tiny now, and likes his tea too sweet.”

“So I am, little seer,” Matthias chuckled, sounding unusually fond. “And so I do.”

It was exactly what I’d been looking for. If Grace could hide herself, it was only so that she could maneuver around Lucien like an equal. So that when she came at him, he wouldn’t hold the advantage. If I could convince her to teach me to do the same, I could …

No. I had to shut that down now. Not until I had time to think it through. But it was the seed from which my plan would form.
If I choose to stay,
I thought with increased guilt as I looked to Riley. If I could get my power back, I was sure I could find a way to fix her.

“He’ll come for her soon,” Matthias added, stepping away from me. “He knows she didn’t die, and he’ll wonder at the dynamic you conjured together.”

I looked to Riley, who seemed to be listening even if her eyes were caught by the fraying at the edge of her blankets. “What is she? Is she dangerous? Can I save her?”

I don’t know why I went to a demon looking for hope.

“Why would you ever want to do that? Maybe she’s the ignition you needed all along. The city could use a villain like you.”

“I’m not a villain,” I snapped. “I won’t be.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You weren’t a weapon once, either. Times are changing. The girl’s been reshaped by two repelling powers. There’s a bit of you in there. And a bit of him.” Matthias smiled again. “Which do you think is more dangerous?”

“White is winning and there’s no king to castle,” Riley told me solemnly.

“
If
I chose to do something,” I said carefully, trying to keep my words vague. A conversation with Jade had been all it had taken to alert Lucien that something was up. “Could you do what she does?”

Matthias pretended to consider what I was asking, though the smile started forming before I’d even finished my question. “You want me to tie a string to you?” He was pleased. “You know I can yank on it whenever I want. Dangerous thing, for a puppet to go finding new masters.”

“I’m asking for … ” I fumbled for a second before my own smile started to form. “Attorney/client privilege.”

“I’m sorry, I think you dialed the wrong number,” Matthias replied. “You don’t want the sexy black man in a three thousand dollar suit,” he said, picking at a bit of lint on his shoulder, “you want the mewling, petulant shell of a thing wearing eyeballs in between its green scales.”

I didn’t let the dismissal faze me. Demons struck bargains with humans; it was their nature. There were contracts involved. Just because Lucien was more up front about it didn’t mean he was the only one. “You can negotiate a contract the same as hi
m.”

“
Can
is not
will
,” he pointed out. “Tell me what you’re thinking, and I’ll consider it. Sheltering you will not bode well for me if our mutual friend decides to grind you up and feed you to my hellhounds.”

“I tell you anything, and it sets something in motion,” I said. “This is all hypothetical. Give me an hour, free from Lucien’s spy games.”

“So you
are
up to something.” His demon eyes gleamed. “Tell me more.”

I shook my head, holding out my hand. “Shake on it. One hour.” There were too many variables. Take the wrong action and Lucien might see the ripples and trace them
back. But this was just a handshake, not a partnership.

“One hour,” he agreed. Matthias’s hand was on mine even before I could see it. Dark eyes flashed a cornflower blue as he peered inside of me, seeing all the secrets in my life, old and new. Lucien could read the paths that the future might take, but Matthias could see into the dark parts of man. The kind of secrets that a man might on
ly share with the closest of confidants. The kind of secrets that might spell revolution.

Just as quickly as he’d snatched my hand out of the air, he flung it away. The demon-blue faded from his irises and he stumbled away from me. “You’re on your own. I won’t help you.” His bravado was shattered; he looked
terrified.

“What’s wrong? What did you see?”

Matthias didn’t respond, but Riley did. “He sees the endgame. He fears deep down into the marrow.”

“You’re damn right I’m afraid,” Matthias snapped. “You never said that
that
was a possibility.”

“He needs to suffer,” Riley’s voice became a horrible snarl. “He needs to be broken for what he’s done.”

“Someone needs to tell me what’s going on,” I interjected. “Riley?”

She glared at me, and it was like seeing something else in control of Riley’s body. The slant of her demon blue eyes, the tightness in her arms and legs. Her expression. This wasn’t Riley. This was something else entirely. It was like there was an alien behind her eyes now.

“Is this what you’ve been waiting for?” Matthias asked, half in shock.

The thing that wore my friend’s face revealed nothing. “Knights fall, and the end of all things. There is only victory in the breaking. He will become what he was, and what he will be, and then the world will tremble.”

I looked to Matthias for translation, but he was looking down at the floor, a puppy who’d been scolded.
Where is this coming from? Was this part of Riley there, waiting underneath the surface? Is this what she’s been waiting for?

“I don’t understand.” I admitted. “What’s happening? What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s … something complicated,” Matthias said, sullen. “Partly who she was, partly who you will be, and partly
what he
is.
And apparently, she’s been keeping secrets.”

She turned her glare on me. It was enough to make me forget that she was in a hospital gown or that we were even in a hospital. All it took was one look, and I squirmed and dropped my own head. My nerves screamed at me to hide, to wait out her displeasure. “You will take your place as what you were and will ever be, violet-eyed prince. Break the board and lay them all to w
aste.”

Violet-eyed.
In the vision that Grace had forced into my mind, my eyes hadn’t been the ever-changing kaleidoscope I’d grown up with, or even Grace’s sun-flare red. They’d been violet and inhuman, burning with maddened fire.

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head violently. “I won’t become
that.
I refuse.”

She climbed up onto her knees, never looking away from me. It was creepy, the way her head always stayed at the same angle, despite the contortions of her body. It was like her head was the one static point on the entire bed, held in place by some sort of invisible ties. “You
will.
Or you will fail. Run while you can, broken-eyed boy, or you will become what you fear most.”

When he spoke again, Matthias’s voice was low and tired. “If you want any hope of stopping a monster like Lucien, you must become a monster yourself.”

eleven

My shirt was soaked with sweat by the time I made it down to the lobby after stumbling out of Riley’s room. The nervous energy that had only started to build up a little was a raging inferno by the time I got to the parking lot. I was going to rip free of my skin and leave it behind, I was sure of it.

It never even occurred to me to arrange a ride back home to the house. My feet started down the gravel path at the side of the parking lot, and before I knew it I was running like my life depended on it. The faster I ran, the faster my heart pumped in my chest, the more the racing fear was drowned out by everything else. Maybe it was just the endorphins that kept me sane, but running managed to put some distance between me and Riley’s prophecy.

All the real players in Belle Dam were terrified of what I could become. Lucien had tried to kill Trey specifically to keep the vision of me from becoming a reality. Grace had stripped me of my powers because of it. And Matthias had refused to help because of what he’d seen.

If I tried to fight, that’s what I would become. That made the decision for me more than anything. I had to go.

I made it home without any other disturbances, but I’m sure there were half a dozen panicked citizens making phone calls and sending text messages about Jason’s tempestuous ward running the streets like a crazy person. My nerves had calmed a little by the time I made it back to my room and grabbed a change of clothes and a towel.

The shower helped, but only after I cranked up the music player on my computer and had the speakers blasting through the walls. I needed to not think. As long as I was distracted, there was a fragile truce in place where I couldn’t dwell on what had been said.

There was a text from Trey on my phone once I was done.
Can I come over?

Why was this my life? Why wouldn’t he get the hint?
It’s not a good time,
I texted back, though there might not ever be a good time again, if I really took off. I hesitated, staring down at the screen and waiting for his reply.

Please. It’s important.

As much as I needed to keep pushing him away, now more than ever, part of me still needed to see him. Especially since it could be the last time.
Ok. See you soon.

Once it was done, I was filled with a different kind of nerves. I changed outfits five or six times, each time for reasons that got m
ore and more ridiculous. I knew I was being stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself. The idea of seeing Trey for the last time—and I couldn’t tell him I was going anywhere, because that’s all Lucien would need—made me want to throw up. In fact, I tried to do that, only nothing came out.

It wasn’t much more than a half hour later before the front doorbell was ringing, and I was contemplating another trip to purge the rest of my breakfast. I actually made it as far as the hallway next to the kitchen before Trey appeared and cu
t me off from the bathroom. He was wearing a thick gray sweater, which looked like the softest thing ever, and a pair of jeans. I pushed down the urge to go to him immediately, instead leaning against the wall. Pretending to be cool and collected. Like anyone would believe it.

“I would have tried to talk to you earlier,” Trey said awkwardly as soon as he appeared, “but I didn’t want you to think I was pushing you. That’s why I waited.”

“You were talking to Jason about me,” I said, “so you should have talked to me first anyway.”

“Actually, that wasn’t about you,” Trey said, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked more nervous than I had ever seen him before. “It was about me. But Jason wouldn’t go for it.”

“Go for what?”

He looked around slowly, the uncertainty on his face growing. “Can we go out back or something? Just … I don’t want him to come out and see us talking and turn me into a ceiling fan or something.”

“He wouldn’t do that. He might have you neutered, though. I’m pretty sure he’d be one of those overzealous pet owners.”

“You joke,” Trey said under his breath, clearly not laughing, “but he probably would.”

“And you thought he was warming up to you,” I said, only a little smug. I led him out onto the back porch and sat down on one of the lounges. “What’s up?”

It took Trey awhile to get himself comfortable. He looked around at the furniture, decided on one of the other lounge chairs, and then once he sat and realized how much distance was between us, he got up and moved it closer. Then he sat down again and was quiet for so long I started to get frustrated.

“Trey? You wanted something.”

Trey gave me a thin smile and nodded. “You remember in the chapel basement, when Lucien had us trapped?”

How could I forget? Lucien had known I would follow him, and he’d carved a binding circle into the floor before our arrival. Only, he’d only been expecting me. Trey had been a surprise, but what had been
more
surprising was that Trey had been bound inside the circle, too. A circle that should have only trapped someone with magical power. As far as either of us had known, Trey wasn’t a witch.

Then again, Belle Dam
was
a town full of secrets. What was one more?

“Is that what you’re here about?” I asked. “Because I can’t help you.”

“Yeah, you can,” he said earnestly. “I want you to teach me. Show me how to use it.”

It felt like my entire body froze like a computer. It took a minute for me to reboot, at which point I swallowed. “I’m sorry, you want me to
what
?”

“I want you to show me how to use magic,” Trey said. He made it sound so simple.
Show me how to ride a bike. Teach me how to play the piano. Train me in the mystical arts.

I stared at him in dumbfounded shock. This was some kind of joke. But he wasn’t smiling. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

I pulled off my glasses, wincing at the light. Even though it wasn’t as bright outside as it had been a few minutes ago, it was still more than I was used to. “You’re not serious,” I repeated, my voice growing harder. “You can be a dick sometimes, but you
’re not usually an asshole. You know I can’t do that anymore.”

“I’m not asking you to,” he said, looking me dead in the eyes. “I just want you to walk me through it.”

“Walk you through it?” I shook my head, already thinking through the thousands of hours John and I had spent trying to get my own gift under control. I didn’t have a choice—the witch eyes had made my power wild and unpredictable. It seemed like the more control I’d gotten, the faster it was killing me. “Do you really think it’s that easy? You can’t get
tutored
in magic, Trey! I’ve been learning it since I was a kid
and I barely know anything at all.”

“You’ve done well enough against everything so far,” he pointed out.

“That’s because I’m a freak. It came easily to me because of what I was. John barely knew what to do with me half the time. I was the worst student ever. So why would you even think I’d be the person for the job. I mean, hello,” I snapped, waving a hand in front of my face like
see the gaping hole where all my crazy eye magic used to be?

“I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t trust you,” Trey said stiffly.

Why was Trey uncomfortable? “Oh,” I said, now understanding the conversation he’d had with Jason last week. “You tried Jason first, and he turned you down. And you’re still not talking to your mom, so that’s out.” I paused, letting all that sink in. “So I was your last choice. Great. Awesome.”

“Five seconds ago, you were pissed because I asked you after what you’ve gone through. Now you’re pissed I didn’t come to you first? Maybe I was trying to respect that this would be hard for you.” He swallowed. “Especially since you can’t seem to look at me anymore.”

I pressed my lips together rather than say something neither one of us wanted to hear. “I can’t help you, Trey.”

“But that’s just it. Maybe I can help you. If you show me how to control it, how to make it work, maybe we can figure out a way to take back what you lost.”

God, why was he doing this to me? There wasn’t enough on my plate so Trey had to come in and add more? And he was being so
sincere
about it. Like he really did just want to help me. Just like always. Only now he’d be the one with the power. The one who could do the fighting. “Why would I want it back? I’m healthy, maybe for the first time ever. I’m pretty sure I can run a six-minute mile, and I’ve never been able to do that before. I haven’t had so much as a real headache in days. I sleep through the night, and I won’t look like a raccoon if I spend all summer on the beach!”

“First we have to get you to next summer,” Trey said, trying to sound gentle but just coming across as pompous.

“Go to hell,” I said. Because I was the only one allowed to worry about that. I turned my back to him, already regretting this conversation. Why did I think he needed a proper goodbye? Trey was a dick.

He moved so quickly. One second, my back was to him and the next he was standing in front of me, standing so close we were nearly nose to nose. I couldn’t help but look at him then. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “Jade told me about … the two of you. Are you?” he asked quietly, eyes darting over my shoulder as if confirming that no one was eavesdropping on us. He didn’t even use the word. Leaving. Running away. Abandoning ship.

“I don’t know,” I said, suddenly irritated. I took a step back, and he took a step forward. I looked away, and he reached out and grabbed my chin.

“Hey,” he said. “Come on. Please.”

“Why are you such an ass all the time?” I demanded. “I tell you to leave me alone and you’re worse than ever.”

Trey let his fingers slip from my face, and he pressed his forehead against mine. I sucked in a breath at the contact, feeling any resolve I had start to pool down into my legs and out of me entirely. “I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.”

But I couldn’t answer that. Even the idea of putting my feelings about Trey into words caused my throat to constrict so tight I couldn’t get air in. I had to talk about anything else. “Do you know that Lucien spent over a hundred years trying to put everything into place so that I’d be born?” I scuffed my foot against the ground. “I get why he seems to think I’m his … possession or something. If I spent half as long as that trying to make something happen, I’d feel like
it belonged to me.”

“Okay,” Trey said warily. “Where are you going with this?”

I shrugged. “I used to think Jason didn’t want anything to do with me because I was broken. But that’s how Lucien feels. I get it now. I may be broken, but I’m still
his.
” And he wouldn’t let me go until he was done with me.

“Your life isn’t over just because you can’t see through walls,” Trey said. “And the Braden I’ve come to know in the last few months wouldn’t just roll over, no matter what happened to him.”

“I’m not that kid anymore,” I snapped. “Do you know what I’d do if I had my power back? Without even stopping to second-guess myself?”

Trey swallowed, but after a moment he gestured for me to continue. I could see it in the way he wouldn’t quite meet my eyes, the little hunch in his posture.
He already knew.

I’d spent enough time thinking about it in the middle of the night. What I would do? How I would begin? Lucien would take a while. He had to suffer properly. But he wouldn’t be first.

“I’d kill her. I don’t know how, but I’d make it sudden. Make it
hurt.”
No, that wasn’t enough. A moment of relief wouldn’t make me feel better. “No,” I said slowly, “it wouldn’t be enough to kill her. She’d have to lose everything first.”

“Do you think that will solve anything?” Trey asked.

“I don’t care.” I eyed him, waiting for the moment it became too much. When he saw the wrath inside of me, bubbling through my veins, lurking just beneath the surface. “Taking you from her would hurt,” I mused, “but it wouldn’t be enough. I’d have to take you both.”

“Kill us?” Trey sounded nonchalant, like discussing his murder was a normal occurrence around here.

I shook my head, my thoughts stuttering over a hurdle I hadn’t anticipated. Trey wasn’t supposed to play along. And I wasn’t supposed to think about hurting him or his sister. They weren’t involved, not really. As much as I know it would destroy Catherine to lose her children, I couldn’t do that to either of them.

Trey took a step forward. Then another. Then he was crowding into me. He took my hand in his and brought it up to his neck, laid it against the even pulse of his heart. “How would you do it?” his words the kind of whisper that was more appropriate for a clandestine tryst, not a daylight conversation about murder.

“Stop,” I pleaded. This was all wrong. Trey was supposed to look at me in horror, to turn away and never look at me with all that stupid idealism, like we really could find a way to be together. It was stupid, and juvenile, and it had to stop.

“I deserve to know how I’m going to die,” he said good-naturedly.

“You wouldn’t see it coming,” I said, my words choking off into a gasp as Trey’s mouth hummed against my ear.

“Keep talking,” he said, his lips a tease against my skin. Fractions of a touch, ghost impressions down my jaw. “Details. The details are important.”

“I … uh … ” The feeling stopped, as fleeting as it had begun.

“Keep talking,” he reprimanded, nipping at the bottom of my earlobe and knocking every coherent thought completely out of my
head. Trey seemed to realize this, because he kept talking. “Would you do it from far away? You could, couldn’t you?” His nose traced a line up along my temple. “No, that wouldn’t be like you. You’d have to be there, right?” For just a moment, he let his cheek rest against the side of my head, but only for a moment. Then the game was back in motion, and it was all touches so brief they were just fragments of connecti
ons.

“I wouldn’t do it,” I finally managed to say, trying to swallow and focus on the conversation at the same time.