Phoenix Burning (19 page)

“What about you?” Ayla glanced at his exposed chest and handed it back.

“You know what the boiler room’s like.” Toby pressed the shirt back into her hand. “This kind of heat doesn’t bother me.” She hesitated, wavering. “Honestly, it’s a hundred degrees in there. Take the shirt.”

She sucked her bottom lip. “You’ll be fine?”

“I’ll get sunburn, but I can take it.”

Ayla reached out a finger and touched Toby’s nut-brown forearm, running her hand up to where the skin became pale on his shoulder.

“It’ll hurt.”

Toby caught her hand. “Not as much as having my tongue removed. The others are already sitting. Come on.”

He held out his hand. Ayla blinked and then took it. He helped her sit and then sat himself, angling his right shoulder so that it provided some shade for Ayla’s left. Neither of them looked at the others, but Toby sensed their relief. They were certain Ayla was going to hand them the victory.

Once they were ready Father Dahon exited the sanctuary with a flaming torch. Ayla swallowed as Mother Hesper took it from him then, in one smooth movement, launched it over their heads and into the bonfire. It wedged in the side nearest Toby and Ayla.

Ayla had closed her eyes when the torch cartwheeled above her, but now she opened them, pinning her gaze on the licking flame.

“It’s gone out,” she whispered.

Toby’s heart sank at the hope in her voice. “Just wait,” he said, and he held her hand.

Ayla didn’t pull away – instead she leaned closer, holding her breath. A glow grew brighter inside the pile of kindling as it began to smoulder, a red bud that blossomed
all of a sudden into a bright orange flower. Ayla’s breath flew out of her as the flame went, in seconds, from a glow to a crackling blaze. Tendrils of flame wound between logs and slid from one combustible to the next, hissing as they grew between the cracks like vines. The colour of the bonfire’s heart deepened and darkened and the flames twisted higher into the sky, yellowing as they rose until they met the sun’s rays in one single blaze.

Ayla covered her face as a gust of wind blasted smoke in her direction. Ash blew over Toby and settled into the hair on his chest.

He could feel his face reddening.

“There is water behind each of you. Use it only to drink.” Father Dahon’s sibilant rasp caused Toby to turn, carefully. He was terrified of accidentally moving from the line. Sure enough, a clay tankard of water now sat behind each of them.

“They’re giving us water?” Ayla’s surprise matched his own.

“The heat is going to be severe.” Toby squeezed her hand again. “They don’t want anyone passing out and winning by default.”

“Makes sense,” Ayla muttered. She took one more glance at the water, as if to reassure herself that it was real, then turned back to the fire.

Toby looked round. To his left, Zahir was already flinching and had covered his eyes with his hands. Tears were running between his fingers. Toby nudged Ayla. “The brightness bothers him,” he whispered.

Lenka and Matus were coughing; the breeze had turned and was gusting thick smoke in their direction.

Ticklish sweat ran down Toby’s neck and chest, drying before it reached his trousers.

Uzuri was glaring at Ayla, silently willing her to break before Zahir. As the heat built, Ayla clutched Toby’s hand more tightly. Her palm was wet in his and her hair was already sticking to her forehead. Her breath came in short rasps and her spine was ramrod straight. When she started to rub her broken wrist with her free hand, Toby knew she was thinking of the explosion.

The boiler fire was nothing like this. Toby rubbed sweat out of his eyes and ducked his head, no longer able to watch the flames. The bonfire had become an inferno. With a crack, a large log snapped in two and fell into the centre of the blaze, forcing the smaller kindling to spread out, getting closer to Ayla’s feet. She gasped and pulled in her toes. Toby held her to him.

“Don’t run.”

“I’m not going to,” she growled, but she let him keep holding her.

The sound of the fire had developed into a roar. Summer had clapped her hands over her ears and Arthur was holding on to her long tresses, which were blowing in the direction of the flying sparks.

“I need my drink,” Ayla moaned.

Toby could barely hear her. He nodded to show that he understood and she reached behind her for the tankard.

Before he could tell her not to, she had knocked the whole thing back. Rivulets of cool water dripped down her throat and soaked into her collar and Toby swallowed, suddenly desperate for his own water. He didn’t dare drink. Ayla would need more.

All around them the teens were reaching for their cups. Toby hung his head and tried to absorb the heat into his body, picturing the boiler room at its hottest.

He imagined that he could hear the sounds of the
Phoenix
around him, that the fire’s snarl was the thunder of the engine running at full speed, that the hiss of the flames was the muffled sound of her paddles and the crack and crackle of disintegrating logs was the crunch and crash of junk being smashed by her ice-breaker hull.

He pictured the captain’s face when he handed him the inverter and leaned closer to Ayla, trying to shade her sensitive skin.

She was shaking now – her whole body a tense string that could break at any moment.

“It’s OK to lean on me,” Toby shouted.

“It’s not OK! I don’t lean on anyone.” Ayla turned a glare on him, but her eyes were haunted. “I thought this would get easier the longer I sat here, but the heat is just…” She swallowed. “All I can think about is that explosion. I keep seeing it … feeling it slam into me … the smell of my own skin burning.”

Toby put his lips close to her ear. He could feel the heat radiating from her face and the dampness of her sweat.

“Picture the sea,” he murmured. He stroked her palm with his thumb. “Pretend you’re on board the
Phoenix
. It’s night, so it’s cool, even below deck.” He felt the slight easing of her shoulders. “You and I aren’t sleepy, so we sneak past the others, snoring in their cots, we climb the ladder to the hatch and we go outside.” Ayla closed her eyes. “There’s a cool breeze in the air and the salt is calm, junk is bobbing in the waves and the paddles are churning easily, moving us onwards, towards the island. That’s the noise you can hear, the roar of the
Phoenix
breaking the junk as she ploughs the salt.” Ayla nodded. “We decide to climb to the crow’s nest. As we get higher, the wind gets stronger and it soothes your skin.” Her shoulders dropped a little more. “At the top we sit in front of the rail and
look out. We could be the only people in the world. The salt is lifting us up and down and all you can hear is the creaking of the sails, the crunching of the junk and the muted roar of the paddles…” Toby stopped.

“We look up,” Ayla rasped, “the stars are out.”

“Yes,” Toby smiled. “Cassiopeia is right above us, the plough is brushing the horizon, and Orion is low in the sky, his belt shining like diamonds.”

“The seven sisters…” Ayla trailed off and Toby knew she had just thought of her own sisters, dead in the fire that had scarred her mother.

“The North Star,” he said quickly. “We’re sailing directly towards it: northwards, and growing cooler with every turn of the paddles.”

“Then you put your arm around me…” Ayla whispered and she relaxed into his side.

“Yes,” Toby cleared his throat. “I pull you close.” He exhaled. “And I kiss you.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I put my lips to yours and all the lights go out, so we really are the only people left under the stars.”

The wind turned and Toby coughed as a cloud of smoke engulfed him and dragged him back to reality.

He blinked stinging ash from his eyes and checked on Ayla. She had flinched but seemed steadier. To his left,
Zahir was shaking uncontrollably. His thick embroidered tunic was protecting him from the flames, but his throat was flushed scarlet from the heat. Toby knew the sun had burned his own shoulders and back, he could feel the prickle of tightening skin, but Zahir’s neck and ears, where his high collar did not cover him, was already blistered and painful to look at. Zahir no longer tried to cover his eyes from the blaze – he simply sat with his chin on his chest, swaying. Beside him Uzuri had taken off her linen robe and sat glistening in the firelight, her legs folded under her. The heat barely seemed to bother her at all.

Toby looked around more carefully. Lenka and Matus had suffered from the smoke – their mugs were empty and their faces were pasted with sweat-soaked grime. They looked soot-grained like Toby did after a long stint in the boiler room.

Through the haze, he could just about make out Bianca and Cezar. Bianca was rubbing Cezar’s leg for him, but neither looked like breaking any time soon.

How long could Ayla hold out?

As if the thought of her drew her attention, she clamped her fingers harder on his.

“Here, drink.” Although his own throat was aching, Toby pushed his mug towards Ayla.

She frowned at him. “That’s yours.”

“Drink.” Toby coughed again. “I don’t need it.”

“You’re coughing.” Ayla glowered.

“Fine.” Toby sipped, twice. As the warmed water slid down his throat, soothing, it was all he could do to take the mug from his lips. “I’m done. You have the rest.” He handed it across and Ayla’s free hand clutched the mug so tightly that Toby knew she had been desperate for it.

He watched her drink. She gulped at the water as though putting out a fire inside her own body. He glanced up to see Arthur frowning at him.

Now the heat was unbearable. The leaping flames had turned the centre of the bonfire into a white-hot furnace. Toby knew it would melt metal.

“I don’t know how much longer I can face this,” Ayla whispered.

Toby lowered his voice. “For as long as you need to. We daren’t lose. Apart from anything else, we won’t be able to get the
thing
out of my cell if we get taken to the altar – we’ve never seen a loser return.”

Ayla swallowed and Toby forced a grin. “You’re not going to show
weakness
are you? What would Nell say if I beat you at this?”

Ayla pulled her hand from Toby’s. “You’re right, I’m her bloody second. She’d kill me. This is just a damned bonfire. It can’t hurt me.” She tossed her head. “And so
what if it does. I’ve taken worse.”

“That’s right.” Toby opened and closed his stiff fingers, half regretting what he had said to Ayla. But it had worked. She no longer looked as if she was in any danger of moving from the line.

Uzuri levelled a glare at him, she had been relying on Ayla to break before Zahir. Toby swallowed his guilt. This time Zahir would lose.

The moment Zahir and Uzuri were led away, the teens rolled back from the fire as fast as they could.

It was only when Toby was gasping like a landed fish in the shade of the sanctuary wall, that he realized Ayla had not come with him. She remained ramrod straight and unmoving, the flame-light playing hypnotically over her face.

“Ayla.” Toby crawled back to her and touched her back gently. “It’s over.”

Slowly Ayla turned her head. She looked left and right, her eyes glazed. Then a slow smile lifted the corners of her lips.

“I beat them all.”

Toby nodded.

“Even you,
Phoenix
.”

“Yes.” Toby tugged at her collar. “Move away from the heat.”

Swaying, Ayla allowed Toby to pull her backwards, her legs pedalling as she retreated from the fire. Then she faced the others. Summer was a limp rag in Arthur’s arms, Bianca was vomiting on the sand, while Cezar rubbed her back. Brody and Moira leaned against one another in the shade of the high wall, breathing shallowly.

Ayla opened her mouth as though to say something, then she shook her head, shoved Toby to one side and ran.

Toby’s legs were jelly and he figured Ayla’s had to be worse, but he still couldn’t catch her. From the wall above, the weight of an uncle’s attention shifted towards them.

“Wait!”

“Go away!” Ayla barrelled around a corner.

“We’re not allowed beyond the rear courtyard. There’s nowhere to go and you’ll bring the uncles on us.”

“I just want to be alone.” She spun on her heel, beads clattering. “I can’t believe I let everyone see me like that.”

“They saw you win.”

She shook her head. “They saw me
weak
.” She dragged Toby’s shirt from her shoulder and shoved it back into his hands.

“Are you kidding?” Gingerly Toby eased the creased material on over his burned back. “Even when they were sure you were going to fail, you beat them.” He moved
towards her carefully. “Now they know they’ve got no chance against us.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do. Nell has made you so afraid of seeming weak, you can’t tell when you’re being brave any more.”

She shook her head violently, then sagged. “Everything will be different soon. I’ll be back with her – with Nell and … you’ll be with Barnaby.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means
everything
.” She wheeled around again and tried to lurch into a run. Toby caught her arm.

“You’ve forgiven me for betraying you, haven’t you?” Ayla whispered finally when she turned back to him.

Toby nodded. He had forgiven her, but he hadn’t forgotten.

“Why?”

Blindsided, Toby stammered his answer. “It was a complicated situation. I was wrong to pressure you to join our crew and we didn’t leave you much choice – I see that now.” He rubbed his elbow.

Ayla cleared her throat. “Would you forgive me again if I…”

“What are you saying?” Toby caught his breath.

“Nothing. It’s just … are we strong enough to get past anything? I don’t want to lose you.”

Toby exhaled. “You won’t.” He pulled her close. “We’re rock.”

Her tangled black hair smelled of smoke and her cheek against his was sticky with soot and sweat. As he tightened his arms around her, Ayla’s trembling slowed and eventually stopped.

She pushed him back and looked around swiftly – there was no one close by. “We have to get out of here. We’re down to the strongest couples. If we lose a challenge, there won’t be any chance to get those
things
out.”

Toby held a finger to his lips. He felt itchy, as though they were being overheard.

They stood in the shade cast by the giant bronze circle on the sanctuary roof. The glass-topped wall sliced into the horizon on their left and to the right was a recently constructed part of the sanctuary, all concrete and metal. A window was open above their heads. Toby pointed and Ayla nodded and walked further on.

Toby rubbed his stinging smoke-burned eyes. “You’re right,” he murmured.

Ayla shot a look at the wall.

“You’re not thinking of climbing
that
?” Toby’s mind raced – how would they get over the top without getting shredded?

Ayla snorted. “No. We get the
things
and –” she looked
around again, lowering her voice until it was barely a whisper – “we take the pills
now
.”

“Now?” Toby swallowed. “Rahul’s waiting in
Wren
at the
north
side of the island. He won’t see us being dumped into the sea here.”

“It’ll be fine.” Ayla sounded confident. “No way your captain left you here without someone keeping an eye. Polly … or—”

“I haven’t seen her.” Toby pulled at a frayed edge on his trousers. “What really worries me is that we don’t know how they deal with their dead here. The original idea was to get the
things
out first,
then
ourselves. If we try and hide them in our pockets or something and
then
take the pills, who’ll stop them from stripping us before we get thrown over the cliff? We’ll be unconscious, helpless. If we do somehow manage to keep them hidden on our bodies, what if the rough salt knocks them out of our pockets and we lose them that way? It’s too risky.”

“It’s too risky to stay,” Ayla hissed. “We can tape them to us so they don’t float free in the salt. Hideaki can do it. He’ll be in charge of the dead.”

“How do you know?” Toby shook his head. “Hideaki deals with the sick and injured, the dead might go somewhere else. They could have a mortician.”

“
Ashes
.” Ayla clenched her fists.

“And you promised Hideaki you’d get him out. What if he betrays us when he realizes we’re leaving without him. Can you trust him not to do that?”

“Toby…” Ayla shook his elbows. “Stop thinking up problems. You and I should take our pills
tonight
, while we still can, while we have our tongues. It’s the best way, the
only
way.”

“It’s
not
,” Toby insisted. “You’ve already faced your worst fear. None of the other challenges will be a problem after this – what can they possibly do that would be worse than today?”

“I don’t know,” she murmured.

“Your plan is still good. We win the trials, we go to the festival, we hand the
things
to the captain,
then
we get out.”

“I don’t want to wait.” Ayla’s eyes pleaded.

Toby had never seen her like this. Everything in him rebelled against rejecting her plan. His own instinct was to get the hell out of Gozo and here she was, asking him to go. But it wasn’t safe. It wasn’t the plan.

“We have to wait,” he said sadly.

Ayla hung her head, then she shook him off and stepped backwards. “I’m going to tell them I need some pain relief from the infirmary. I’m going to see Hideaki.” She pushed her hair back over her shoulder. “I’m going to find out who deals with the dead.”

Toby slipped despondently into his cell. He wanted to check under his bed, to see if the inverter remained safe, but he didn’t dare. Nothing had been said, there had been no uproar. It hadn’t been found.

He lay staring at the ceiling, clenching his fists.

Then Ayla stood in his doorway, her shoulders hunched low. “They have a mortuary well away from the infirmary,” she said. “It leads directly out to the cliff edge. The silent attendants deal with the dead – it’s one of their ‘sacred mysteries’.” The breath burst out of her, as if she’d been punched. “They’ll find the things on us. We have to wait … or go over the wall.”

Toby sat and patted his mattress. He cut his eyes to the panel in his wall. Then, as Ayla collapsed beside him, he took his tine from his shirt sleeve and jammed it closed.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t want to risk anyone overhearing,” Toby whispered.

“There’s nothing more to say.” Ayla groaned. “This was my plan, and now I’ve got to see it through – stop acting like a whiny baby. End of.”

“What’s that, your mother’s voice?” Toby reached for her hand, but she didn’t let him take it.

“You think I should cry about this? How does that help?”

Toby dropped his hand.

Awkward silence stretched between them until Ayla snapped it. “I know what the next challenge is.”

Toby’s eyes widened. “How?” Then he nodded. “Hideaki.”

Ayla nodded. “He says it’s a maze.”

Toby quickly glanced down the corridor, even though he had already checked that everyone else was at lunch. “A test of intelligence then.” He found his eyes pinned to Cezar’s room. “Cezar will be our biggest problem.”

Ayla agreed. “I can take him out of the game.”

“Don’t!” Toby sometimes forgot how ruthless Ayla could be. “We only have to beat one other couple – there are still three more. If Cezar comes first, it won’t be a problem for us to come second.”

“Hideaki gave me some pointers. He doesn’t know the exact layout, but he said there are dangers. If we follow the sun sign with the short curved rays and avoid any route marked with barbed rays, we should avoid the most lethal traps.”

“Lethal traps?” Toby frowned. “They wouldn’t, would they?”

“What do you think?”

“I think these sun worshippers are sadists.”

Ayla closed her eyes. “Apparently we’ve got a day off tomorrow.”

“Thank the gods for that.” Toby leaned against the wall just as a rattling sounded from the wooden panel in his cell.

“Someone’s trying to listen!” Ayla hissed.

“
Ashes
.”

As angry voices sounded, Toby jolted to his feet, bent and pulled the broken tine from the hatch. He hid it quickly back in his sleeve and hurled himself back on his cot. He grabbed Ayla as he went down and half pinned her beneath him.

“What are you doing?” she hissed.

“Shut up.” He tangled his legs in hers, grabbed her hands and twined their fingers. Then he pinned her arms above her head and kissed her. Her lips were hot and cracked.

Toby’s pulse pounded in his ears. Ayla bit his lip and now he tasted blood as well. She was going to hit him as soon as her hands were free. He pulled back, licked his lip and then, suddenly
she
was kissing
him
. This was nothing like the last embrace they had shared on the
Phoenix
. This was hungry and desperate and filled with yearning and fire.

Shaking, he touched his tongue against her lips and she opened her mouth. Their bodies pressed so closely together that he could feel her heart racing against his chest.

“What are you doing?” The light was blotted out of his doorway and Toby rested his forehead on Ayla’s with a groan.

An older brother barged into his cell, strode to the wall and tore open the panel. His shoulders jerked in surprise as the wood moved smoothly back into the wall. He spun around and glowered at Toby.

“What did you do?”

“Huh?” Toby looked up. “Isn’t this allowed? No one said.”

“What’s going on?” Mother Hesper swept into the doorway.

“The brother here wanted to watch us steaming up the cell,” Ayla snapped. “He got frustrated when the panel was stuck. It must’ve warped or stiffened in the heat.”

“Well?” Mother Hesper tilted her head at the brother.

“It seems fine now.” The brother bent and demonstrated. Mother Hesper pursed her lips.

“It’s an offence to tamper with the workings of the sanctuary. The panel is here for your own protection. Should something happen, or should you become ill, this is how we know to get you help.”

“Of course.” Toby smiled innocently. “As I said, I never touched it. My hands have been busy
elsewhere
.” Ayla rolled her eyes.

“Get out and join the others.” Mother Hesper stood aside to let them pass. “Your behaviour isn’t appropriate.”

“But it isn’t forbidden, either?” Toby checked as they slid past, his hand still wrapped around Ayla’s.

Mother Hesper glowered. “Consider it disallowed.”

Toby bowed his head. “We’ll join the others then.”

The brother remained standing in Toby’s cell as they left. He swallowed, thinking of the inverter buried under his bed, but he had no choice but to climb the stairs and leave. As they opened the door Toby looked back – Mother Hesper was entering his cell.