Pick-me-up (14 page)

Jenny’s video character must have recovered
because she was back in action, and Tim turned reluctantly. Katelyn
became aware of Colton’s complaining, which she must have tuned out
for a few moments. “Come on, come on, come on.”

Katelyn turned back to the game and saw that
it had automatically started. She pressed the gas and let Colton
steer. Everyone was having fun. Her family was having fun and they
were together. Her sisters had shown up for her birthday, and there
hadn’t been one argument yet. They ate pizza and ice cream and
watched Katelyn open a few handmade cards, one from Kayla and
another designed by Sierra with Colton’s name scribbled at the
bottom. Katelyn played up her response for the kids, complimenting
their drawings and coloring.

It was Katelyn’s birthday, and it was a great
day. Her dad wasn’t there, and while she missed him, it was calm.
She laughed to herself. Actually, it was anything but calm with all
the screaming and noise, but it felt right, full of joy. And Tim
was a part of it. Katelyn had a guy who loved her and who she
loved. Everything felt right.

On the way home, cramped with Brianna and
Jacob in his car seat in the backseat of her mom’s car (Jenny rode
in the front passenger seat with Kayla sitting on her lap), Tim’s
arm held Katelyn even closer. Once home, all of them tired and
finding their familiar places in the house, Katelyn and Tim made
their way down the hall to her room. Her mom’s voice followed, “I
want the door kept open with you two in your room.”

Katelyn smiled at Tim, choking a laugh at the
irony of her warning. “Mommm,” she whined in embarrassment, like
the suggestion of their possible inappropriate behavior was
ridiculous.

Katelyn pulled Tim into her bedroom and left
the door cracked. He grabbed her and turned her against the wall
behind the door, concealed from anyone who would walk by. She
stayed quiet, but her whole body giggled until his hands slid to
rest on the back sides of her hips. He kissed her long and more
passionately with each second. He pressed up against her and she
felt the hard outline of him below. She tingled inside as he
increased the force by pulling her hips to his.

Katelyn came up for air and breathed into his
neck. “You have to stop,” she whispered.

He moaned. “I know,” he sighed and loosened
his grip, caressing the sides of her hips. “I want you,
though.”

She smiled, loving this new attention of
being desired. “I know,” Katelyn whispered back.

“When?” he asked gently into her hair. “I
want to keep celebrating your birthday,” he teased.

Now that Katelyn had been through her first
time, fear of sex had left her. She, too, wanted to be close again.
But, she didn’t have an answer. Up to this point, he always decided
when they’d meet. He would be the one to come over. Being grounded
had limited her ability to meet him on his territory.

“Um, I could come to your house,” she
suggested meekly. “I could say I’m going over to Emily’s or
something. Mom will let me since it’s my birthday.”

Tim pulled back to look her in the face. He
thought the scenario through and smiled. “Yeah, come over after
seven. Ma’ll be home, but she’ll leave us alone, especially if she
started early.” He mimicked a glass getting thrown back in drink
and laughed. “I’ve got a couple errands to run anyway,” he
added.

“Okay,” Katelyn agreed, and after another
session of kissing, she reluctantly walked him out of the house.
She made sure to say loud enough in front of her mom, “See you
tomorrow. Have fun with Christian. Call me later.”

Katelyn crept back into the house as quietly
as she could. It was later than her midnight summer curfew, but she
was hoping her birthday gave her some extra privilege. Leaving
Tim’s house had been difficult. They had his whole basement to
themselves, but spent the evening in his room, together,
inseparable. He had walked her home through the trail and left her
at the end of the street. The absence of his touch, his hand meshed
with hers, or his arm around her waist, left a longing ache in
her.

“It’s late, Katelyn.” Katelyn came around the
edge of the cabinets into the kitchen to see her mom in her
customary seat at the table, cigarette burning a swirling column of
smoke toward the air. So much for a quiet homecoming, she thought.
Instead she smiled at her mom and headed toward her.

“Sorry, me and Em kinda got caught up in a
game and then her brother and his friend challenged us in bowling,”
she lied. Instead of meeting any scrutinizing look her mom was
giving her, she looked down. By the time she sat, Katelyn moved
into a new topic.

“Thanks for the pizza party, Mom, and for
letting Tim come. I think everyone had a great time. I even saw
Jenny laugh!”

Her mom took a drag off the cigarette and
agreed. “Yeah, it was a good day.” And then she grew more solemn.
“I’m glad you liked it. Was it a good birthday?”

Her eyes drifted down in reflection. The past
24 hours had been some of the best in her life. Katelyn couldn’t
think of anything else in her life that could compete with how good
she felt today. She took on her own reflective tone. “Yeah, one of
the best.”

Katelyn looked up to meet her mom’s eyes and
found her studying her. Katelyn grew uncomfortable, suddenly
worried that she had some visible change that her mom could read as
the loss of virginity.

“You really like Tim. Don’t you?” she asked.
Damn, thought Katelyn, her mom had some special power or something
to pick up on her thoughts. But, she didn’t want to hide her
feelings or be ashamed. How could her love for Tim be bad when it
felt so great?

“Yeah, Mom.” She met her mom’s intent eyes
with her own confidence. “I think I love him.”

Her mom didn’t flinch, didn’t shake her head,
and didn’t launch into a lecture about young love and foolishness.
She held her gaze, finished her cigarette, and leaned back in her
chair. “He seems like a nice boy. He’s funny. And, he’s crazy about
you. That’s for sure.”

Katelyn blushed and didn’t have anything to
say, so she just nodded in agreement. She couldn’t help smile at
the confirmation her mom had given her—someone else noticing that
Tim was into her.

“Kate,” her mom stopped short. Katelyn looked
at her, hearing a change in her tone. “If you two are going to have
sex—“

“Mommmm,” Katelyn moaned as if the idea was
nonsense, but she had to look away.

“Kate,” her mom insisted, “I’m not messing
around. I have two daughters who’ve given me grandchildren before
they reached the age of 18. I’ve got two of those grandkids down
the hall there.” Katelyn wasn’t smiling anymore. Her mom didn’t
talk much to her about her sisters. “If I can help it, I’ll do
everything in my power to avoid the same for you. I don’t care if
it makes you uncomfortable.”

Katelyn looked at the table, but nodded,
accepting the talk as confidence in her rather than motherly
interference. In her younger years, Katelyn thought her life would
be totally different than her sisters, that she wouldn’t make the
same mistakes. But, she just had. She and Tim hadn’t used any
protection. She suddenly felt slightly ashamed, like she hadn’t
been true to herself.

“If you two are going to have sex, I want you
to use protection. You just say the word and I’ll take you to get
on the pill. Or, they have shots now, too, that you only have to
get once and awhile.”

“I know, Mom,” Katelyn murmured.

“Yeah? You know?” Her mom was turning
slightly impatient in tone.

Katelyn interjected before she
misinterpreted, “I have friends at school, Mom, and they, you know,
are on it.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then, in her
direct fashion, her mom asked, “Should you be on it?”

Katelyn considered lying, but she was scared
of her mom. And, she needed to admit the answer to herself, too.
“Yeah,” it came out softly, and she couldn’t help disguising her
recent sexual activity. “Yeah, just in case, Mom. You’re right. I
should be careful.”

Katelyn looked up at her mom. Just for a
moment, before her mom looked away, she thought she saw her eyes
watering.

“We’ll go to the clinic this week, before
work one day. Jenny’s going to start coming over in the day to
watch the kids, so you and I can go. It’ll be good for her to be
alone with them anyway. Jen needs to get back in mother mode with
them if they’re going back with her.” Katelyn got up from the
table, taking the change in topic as a chance to distance herself
from that of her sexuality.

Her mom looked back at her. “I think she’s
cleaned up her act, unless there’s anything you know about.” It
wasn’t a question, but her mom tried to catch her off guard. Since
Katelyn hadn’t been over to Jenny’s in two weeks, she felt honest
in her answer.

“Nope,” Katelyn said, and pushed in her
chair. “I don’t know what she’s been up to.” She started to head
around the table to go to her room, but stopped as she reached the
side where her mom sat. She reached out her hand to touch her mom,
but decided to make it a full hug. “Thanks, Mom, for
everything.”

Chapter 15: Sophomore
Year

“Thanks for the ride, Emily.” Katelyn rolled down her window after
she jumped into Emily’s car. Instantly, the car cooled ten degrees
with the release of the hot air inside. Emily started the car and
cranked the air conditioning. School started in late August when
the temperature was too miserable in Iowa to do much else. At least
some of the rooms at the high school had air conditioning.

“Mom said she’ll give me some money, so I’ll
get you gas money.”

“Great. I need it.” Emily waved at people as
she left the parking lot. “Gosh, Katelyn, I hardly saw you this
summer.”

“Yeah, um, work kept me busy.” Katelyn didn’t
want to tell Emily that Tim didn’t like her or want Emily with them
when they went out.

“Are you still with Tim?”

“Yeah, four months now.” Katelyn smiled
slightly, proud to have a real boyfriend.

Emily grew quiet, but it only lasted for a
few blocks. “Katelyn, I have to ask you ‘cause you know I have your
back. Is Tim a dealer?”

Katelyn was shocked. “What?”

“A dealer. Drugs. Crank or Coke or
something?”

“No,” Katelyn was offended. “Where’d you hear
that?”

Emily sank back into an innocent role. “Well,
Maci heard from someone that he was sent away for a drug problem,
that he did time for something and that’s why he goes to the
alternative school.” She didn’t stop and rambled on with the energy
of a puppy set loose from a cage. “Maci said Jacob Litner had a
party last week and, like, everyone was doing something, snortin’
or smokin’. I guess Tim was the one who hooked Jacob up. He wasn’t
there, of course, but Maci said Todd burned and was all whacked
out. She was so pissed. And, he told her that Tim hooked up all
sorts of people at school.”

“She’s so full of shit.” Katelyn defended
Tim, but she needed to think it through. “I thought you and Maci
weren’t talking.”

Emily shrugged. “She’s not a close friend or
anything, Jeez.” Emily pulled onto Katelyn’s street. “You should
just watch out, right? I thought you’d want to know, that’s
all.”

“Thanks, I guess. But, I can watch out for
myself.” Katelyn opened her door before the car fully stopped in
front of her house. She slammed her door without saying
goodbye.

Emily didn’t pick her up the next
morning.

“She’s a crazy bitch.” Tim pushed up from his
pillow. They were laying on his bed in the basement and Katelyn
took the opportunity to ask him about Emily’s accusations.

“I know,” Katelyn said. “She just wants to
feel important, like she’s some authority on everybody’s business.
I’m done with her.”

“I don’t even know who Jacob Litner is,” he
pleaded.

She snuggled into him. “Sorry, Tim. I
shouldn’t have listened to her at all.”

He sank back into his pillow, stroked her
hair, and stayed quiet for a few minutes. They lounged propped up
by pillows on his bed. On the screen in front of them, a chainsaw
cut through an imprisoned man’s leg in a movie they both had seen
before. The actor’s yell overpowered the saw. Katelyn shut her eyes
at the gross display of blood. Tim loved these movies.

“It’s none of their business,” Tim said.

It took a moment for Katelyn to realize he
was still talking about Emily’s gossip. She pulled up from her
position on his shoulder and looked at his face. He was clearly
bothered, upset and sad.

She sat up and took his hand. “Tim, will you
tell me what happened now?” She knew there was some charge, some
reason he spent time in juvee, but he never wanted to talk about
it. Katelyn never believed it could be that bad of a crime. He was
a good person.

He looked at her without the slyness his eyes
used to have when they first started going out. Katelyn knew his
hesitation wasn’t about trust. They had made it through fights.
They had comforted each other after disagreements with parents.
They stood up for each other with their family and their friends.
Katelyn and Tim were their own team now.

Katelyn could see that he wasn’t trying to
keep a secret, but that he was embarrassed about a mistake.

“I messed up,” he started. “After the
divorce, Mom moved in with this asshole she barely knew, so I had
to switch schools in Des Moines. I didn’t know anyone. Christian
was in one of my classes and let me hang out with him and his
friends. They were a rough group, tough as shit and all thieves,
mostly garage shit—bikes, tools, hunting stuff. You wouldn’t
believe how much that stuff pawns for, especially hunting gear.
Anyways, these guys were nothing compared to some of the other
gangs at East High. You either belong to some group or don’t
belong. And you don’t want to not belong ‘cause then you’re a
target.