Pickles The Parrot Returns: My Continued Adventures with a Bird Brain (15 page)

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Authors: Georgi Abbott

Tags: #pets, #funny, #stories, #humour, #birds, #parrot, #pet care, #african grey

BOOK: Pickles The Parrot Returns: My Continued Adventures with a Bird Brain
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I love his word ‘huh’. It denotes so much
with him and he uses it a lot. He can be in the middle of eating,
attacking a toy or sleeping and if you say something, he will whip
his head up and say “Huh?” Or if you say something new to him, his
way of getting you to repeat it is “Huh?” He never says it out of
the blue, or for no reason – except maybe when he’s talking to a
toy. But then I’m sure the toy (in his head) has obviously said
something that merits repeating.

Sometimes you get the really long
“Huuuuuuhhhhhh?” and that means he’s really confused. And his
facial expression really matches his inquisitiveness. You can
almost see him raising an eyebrow.

He
definitely
understands ‘Be right back’ and will use it often when he walks
away from us, only to return shortly. He tells us to ‘be right
back’ if we walk out of the room, or we’ll tell him the same and
he’s happy knowing we’re not leaving him for a long time. I believe
he knows what ‘long time’ means too because he shows his
disappointment when it’s spoken. For instance, if Neil goes
somewhere and Pickles keeps asking ‘Daddy home?’ I’ll say he’ll be
‘gone long time’ and he fluffs up and pouts. He doesn’t ask ‘when’
daddy will be home, his way of asking is to say “Daddy home?” and
if daddy drives up, it’s “Daddy’s home!”

He understands the word ‘later’. If he asks
for a snack, or to go for a walk or something else he wants, and we
tell him “Later, baby” he’s content to wait a few minutes –
although sometimes we get the ‘raspberry’ to let us know he’s not
happy about having to wait. Sometimes we’ll use the phrase “It’s
too early, baby” when he wants his supper or if he’s ready to go to
bed. I don’t know what he thinks ‘later’ means but he understands
that he will get what he wants, just not right now. But where he
gets confused is when a few minutes go by and he figures its time,
he’ll say, “He said he’d be right back.” To him, ‘be right back’ is
somebody or something will be there soon and ‘he’ is anybody, both
male and female. He knows what he’s talking about and we know what
he’s trying to say so obviously it makes sense, even though it
doesn’t really.

Speaking of the word ‘baby’, Pickles always
uses this word to show endearment. If he’s sucking up to us for
something, he calls us ‘baby’ in a sweet little voice. If he wants
some loving or cuddling, it’s “Ohhh, baaaybeeeee”.

His laughing is contagious and I don’t care
what any bird behaviorist or scientist says, I know the laughter is
real and that he truly finds things funny. There’s the snide little
chuckle he has for the times he’s mildly amused by some little
trouble he’s gotten himself into, the snicker when he’s teasing us
or the dog and then there’s the gleeful, out loud, outright belly
laugh when something is especially entertaining to him.

I remember one day while Pickles was in the
aviary and I was sitting next to it having my morning coffee. I was
attracted to loud laughter and when I looked in his direction, I
noticed a bunch of baby sparrows taking a sand bath in a patch of
dirt a couple of feet from Pickles’ perch. They were bathing,
frolicking and a couple of them were playing together. The two that
were playing, were practically attached at the talons and were
rolling as one in the dirt then separating to hop and flap around
until they would collide and roll again. It was the cutest thing to
watch and I found myself laughing out loud at them too. Pickles
thought it was hilarious and couldn’t keep his eyes off them.
Obviously, his laughter is extreme happiness on his part.

He definitely understands ‘last snack’. When
we offer pine nuts straight out of the bowl he will eat them
leisurely, one at a time, until we warn him it’s the last one he
can have then suddenly he’s in a panic to scoop a few into his
beak. “That’s it!” he says proudly through a mouthful of stolen
snacks.

Once, in his panic to cop more snacks, he
jumped on the bowl I was holding - which is just a small ramekin –
and I wasn’t expecting his body weight so he and the bowl crashed
to the floor. The pine nuts scattered everywhere and he was after
them like a madman calling “Last snack! That’s it! Last snack!
That’s it!” as the little liar ran like the dickens scooping them
up before I could stop him.

It appears he knows that grapes contain juice
because he’ll ask for a grape and while eating it he goes “mmmmm,
juice”. On the other hand, he always calls toast ‘juice’ which
makes no sense at all. He used to say ‘toast’ but now when I hand
some to him and tell him “Here’s your toast” he always says
“Juice?” in reply. It’s never a statement but always asked and I
have no idea what he’s trying to ask me and why he’s switched his
words for this item. But it’s almost like he wants confirmation for
this – which he never gets because we always correct him. But why
‘juice’? Why doesn’t he use another word, like ‘snack’, ‘breakfast’
or ‘potato’?

He knows a lot of his food by name and will
usually toss it if you give him something he didn’t ask for unless
it’s something even better than what he requested. He NEVER says
“Good morning” or “Want breakfast” except in the morning and he
NEVER says “Ni nite”, “Lights off” or “Want covered” unless it’s
nighttime and he’s ready for bed and he NEVER asks for supper until
a few minutes before suppertime. When it’s almost time for supper,
he starts to get very animated about it. It’s as if he thinks we
might forget otherwise. We never have – it would be quite
impossible unless one lost their hearing.

Pickles went to bed one evening while the sun
was still up and the cage is only covered in the front and part of
the sides so the window, which was in back of him and off to one
side, allowed sunlight to penetrate in to his cage. He was
particularly restless and kept climbing down to the bottom and
moving around inside until he hollered, “Lights off!” and we
realized the sun was shining on him and ruining the nice darkness
he enjoys. To him, the sun is a light and can be turned off which
is what we did, by closing the window curtains.

We always know when he drops a toy, food, or
something that he didn’t mean to drop because he will exclaim “oop”
but will never say it unless he wants it back.

He’s never learned ‘I love you’ no matter how
much I say it, but he will always respond with “mmmmwwwwa!” as a
kiss in response.

He absolutely understands “No bite!” if we
think he’s about to bite us, and he’ll usually turn it into a
gentle nip but if he’s really angry, it doesn’t always work. If
he’s about to chew on the drapes we’ll say “No chew!” and he will
stop but this irks him so he’ll pretend to lung his head at them a
few times as if to tease us – but without actually touching
them.


Stop it!” will almost always make him
stop doing what he’s doing, although reluctantly. He’s just got to
push the envelope at times. Often, when he knows that what he’s
about to do is taboo; he will start to do it but tell himself “Stop
it!” and then obey himself. I watched him running back and forth at
one of Neeka’s toys that was abandoned on the couch one day.
Pickles ran at it but as he got there he yelled, “Stop it!” and
turned and ran away only to come back and repeat the same actions
over and over; back and forth he went. I’m not sure if he was
reprimanding himself or if he was scared of the toy, telling the
toy to stop it or and having a war with himself about whether or
not to approach the scary thing.

Pickles will almost always talk to anybody
and isn’t shy about showing off his vocabulary and his wide range
of sounds. He loves strangers and adores young children. When
children are around, it’s as if he understands that children are
vulnerable so he talks to them in a very sweet voice.

After the first book came out, a local young
girl, got wind of it, contacted me through FaceBook and told me she
was doing a presentation for her class at the elementary school.
She then asked if I would be willing to bring Pickles that day and
I immediately responded to accept. This would be great for Pickles
because he doesn’t get to see crowds of people very often, ever
since we sold the flyshop. The young lade had been a frequent
visitor to our shop, usually accompanying her father when he came
in for fishing supplies and, although much younger at the time,
spend many an hour talking to Pickles so she knew him quite
well.

Plans were laid with her teacher and it was
decided that I would bring Pickles into the classroom after the
presentation so that the children weren’t distracted. I had offered
to give each child a free download of the Ebook (if they didn’t
have an Ebook, they could just download it to their computers) but
then I remembered that there were a couple of mild swearing words
in the last book so it was decided that classmates could only
download it with permission from their parents. Arrangements were
all finalized and Neil offered to accompany me so that he could
distract Pickles should he get antsy while I was giving a run down
of Pickles and taking questions.

It was a cold winter day with snow on the
ground so we packed Pickles in his traveling cage and threw a heavy
towel over top to walk from the parking lot to the school. We also
brought a small playstand – it was about 3 feet long and 3 feet
high with a couple of branches and hanging toys and circular
swing/boing. We sat in the visitor’s area waiting to be called into
class and Pickles chatted, from inside his cage, at any kids or
teachers who happened to walk by. Pickles was perfectly
comfortable, I was a little nervous.

Eventually we were invited in and we set
Pickles’ cage on a table in front of the class while Neil set up
his playstand nearby. At first, Pickles just kind of looked around
in awe then he started bobbing his head and snickering at all the
kids. Very quickly, he was ready to come out of the cage and be
placed on his stand. We ended up moving it to a desk right in the
middle of the class so that Pickles towered over all the sitting
children and was able to survey the land.

Lots of questions were asked and answered
while Pickles mostly laughed and blew the odd kiss. This got lots
of laughs but they obviously wanted to hear Pickles speak. Of all
the times for him to mum up! He said a few words now and then but
usually while someone was talking so it was never really heard. Oh
well, Pickles was still a hit and I was presented with a written
copy of Tasha’s presentation and a lovely picture she drew of
Pickles. She had set up pictures of Pickles’ book and newspaper
articles about him, among other things, and they were displayed on
the blackboard. I was sorry I didn’t get to sit in on it because it
looked awesome. Some pictures were taken and then we packed up and
went to the hall benches to put on our coats to leave the
building.

The minute we set Pickles down, he started
yelling at everyone walking by and using all his words. Silly and
embarrassing stuff which echoed loudly through the vast halls of
the quiet school. Sure, NOW he talks.

Pickles usually gets real quiet when he’s
covered so I threw the towel over his cage and we walked down the
hall, out the door, down the sidewalk and out to the parking lot.
But the towel wasn’t stopping him this time. It was a long walk of
shame as we walked past teachers and other visitors while Pickles
barked and shouted “Stupid potato head!” over and over while I
explained that there was a parrot beneath the towel to anyone who
would listen as we hurried by. I dunno, maybe they thought I had a
rude, talking dog in a kennel.

It can be argued that some of the things he
says and does, do not really make sense but when I take into
account the words he does know, his awareness and his reactions,
his attempts at communication certainly appear to be valid, if not
a little mixed up. I tend not to believe some of the writing on
their intelligence but too often, it’s difficult to rebuke. I know
he’s smart and he can obviously talk and communicate with the
vocabulary abilities he has learned but to what extent? I don’t
know but it’s certainly interesting and it challenges my mind along
with his.

Chapter 12
I Vant To Drink Your Blood


I'm sorry I bit you
mommy.  I was just so excited when daddy brought me in to wake
you up in bed.  I ran as fast as I could from the foot of the
bed to get to you & before I knew it, out of excitement, I
mistook your big flabby bare arm for an obstacle.  If it's any
consolation, it didn't taste very good.  But I must say, it's
truly fascinating watching all the different colors develop on your
skin - it's like a beautiful blue, black & purple
rainbow.  And I made it just for you.”


~ Mommy,
Mommy! Pickles won't let go of my ear. Pickles, let go
of Neeka's ear. Pickles! Let go of his ear! All right
Pickles, give me the ear.
...
~”


I bit my mommy's finger
today but I didn't mean to.  She invited me to step up from my
rope to go for a walk but I kinda lost my balance on the rope
and beaked her hand trying to steady myself.  I don't know
why I insist on destroying my main mode of
transportation.”


When your mommy hands you a
snack, don't assume her finger is a side dish.  Cuz it's
not.  It's a food holder that drops your food on the floor
when it bleeds. And then you end up going hungry.”


~ After several minutes of
utterly dull conversation I began to think of her not as a woman
but as a human, then not as a human but as an animal, then not as
an animal but as a source of high-grade protein.~ So I bit
her.”


oooooo, I bit daddy really
hard today.  He was holding me on his hand while he talked on
the phone and I wrapped my beak around his thumb and bit both sides
and drew blood.  Then when he set me down, I bit his wrist
hard too.  I was mad at the person on the other end for
stealing daddy's time from me.  I sure taught that person a
lesson and I doubt they'll try that again.”

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