Pickles The Parrot Returns: My Continued Adventures with a Bird Brain (25 page)

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Authors: Georgi Abbott

Tags: #pets, #funny, #stories, #humour, #birds, #parrot, #pet care, #african grey

BOOK: Pickles The Parrot Returns: My Continued Adventures with a Bird Brain
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We have very bird-friendly habitat in our
yard but because we have a late spring, particularly this year,
there is no vegetation and nothing natural for the birds yet, and
now is when they are in the middle of nesting so they need those
bird feeders for nourishment. Because of this woman, people took
down their birdfeeders and an important source of bird food for
about two weeks.

All this talk about bears, reminds me of the
times in the flyshop. We always warned fishermen about the bears,
and to make sure they kept their food and garbage locked in their
vehicles. At the end of one particular weekend, some guys came in
and said they had locked everything away but complained that we
hadn’t warned them about their beer cooler. Turns out, they were
floating on the lake and happened to look back to see two bears
sitting around their cooler, shotgunning their canned beer. They’d
just pick one up, puncture it with their claws then dump it down
their throats. I had to wonder if they’re mean drunks. Nobody likes
a nasty drunk.

We get moles in the yard but don’t mind them.
They are good for aerating gardens and grass and the dirt mounds
they leave behind make great sand baths for the birds.

We let our grass grow long in most of the
yard and the birds take advantage of that. Most of it ends up going
to seed so that’s great for the birds too.

Most of our trees are parrot safe and we
don’t use pesticides so, now that the trees are starting to grow
bigger, we have a nice supply of branch/perch material. We use the
branches in Pickles’ cage, aviary and other areas. I think the only
commercial branch we have is the cement perch, which is excellent
for keeping his nails trimmed. We always leave the bark on the
branch for Pickles to rip off and chew.

The yard attracts so many varieties of birds,
it’s amazing. All the different species seem to get along well and
the only bickering we notice is with birds of the same species. We
have friendly chickadees and some of the waxwings are friendly too.
We had a waxwing fly into the window one time and he was stunned so
Neil put him in a cardboard box and placed him in a cool, dark room
in the house. When we heard him fluttering around, Neil took him
outside to release him but he just sat in the box, staring up at
him. Neil, kidding around, stuck his finger in the box and said,
“Step up little waxwing” and he did! Neil withdrew his hand and the
bird just sat on his finger for the longest time. Neil finally
raised his hand and gave him a gentle jump-start, and off he
flew.

Now and then we get hawks diving down on the
small birds and we see a lot of the Cooper’s Hawks. We don’t mind,
they’re beautiful birds and if they don’t get a bird in our yard,
they’re going to get one somewhere else. They have to eat, and they
only kill the weak, or the stupid, to keep the species strong. It’s
ugly, but it’s nature. That’s where the slash piles come in handy.
We take all our prunings and place them in a couple of piles along
the fence and keep building them up. The little birds spend a lot
of time playing or foraging in there and it’s a great place to
scatter when there’s a hawk around because the hawk can’t fit
between all the branches.

Sometimes the starlings come in flocks and
they’ll wipe out the seeds in the feeders in no time flat but we
don’t mind them either. Having Pickles has taught us to admire and
respect all birds but starlings are especially clever birds and
have been known to make good pets. It makes me think of African
Greys in the wilds of Africa. From what I hear and read, people
there consider Greys nuisance birds and wonder why people from
around the world want to buy them for pets. Maybe one day, birds
like starlings will be in demand in other parts of the world. Every
bird has value and every type of bird deserves our respect.

It always surprises me to hear about people
who don’t like crows. I want to shove a book under their nose and
make them read about them. I’d be surprised if they still
considered them ‘just’ a nuisance bird. There’s nothing about crows
that bothers me. Okay, maybe just one …

Neil and I were out working in the yard the
other day and suddenly, I heard Pickles’ ear grating squawk –
coming from a tree across the street!! I stood there looking up at
the tree with fear in my heart – Pickles had escaped the aviary!
Then I heard the squawk coming from the opposite direction and
glanced toward the aviary, and there he was – still safe and sound.
The squawk came from the tree again, and Pickles answered it. I’m
standing there listening to stereo squawking and then I noticed a
crow part way up the tree. I don’t know if there’s a nest up there,
or what, but that crow has squawked in that tree for the past few
days. So, here’s Pickles who imitates crow caws, and here’s a crow
that can imitate Pickles calls. Of all the things that that crow
had to copy! Arg!

So, that’s our life. We’re getting a little
anti-social as we age and all we want to do is sit in out own
beautiful yard. We still go out to the lakes for day trips or
weekends but sometimes it’s hard to watch what goes on out there,
the lack of respect that people have for nature and the
environment. ATV’s and dirt bikes are not only noise pollution but
you see them off the designated trails and ripping up sensitive
grasslands and driving through fish bearing streams (I won’t go
into how detrimental this is for the fish) and then there’s the
potential for forest fires from their exhaust. We live in an
extremely high-risk area for forest fires with very little access
to get out of town should a fire start nearby.

I don’t mean to paint all ATV’ers with one
brush because I know there are responsible riders out there and
some of them are friends of ours. But, there’s
nothing
more annoying to us than having the beautiful
sounds of nature interrupted by these noisy beasts.

We try to be good people. Whether climate
change (I prefer that term as term Global Warming can be deceiving)
exists or not, we prefer to err on the side of caution and do what
we can to minimize our impact. We recycle in a community that is
behind the times, doesn’t seem to take it seriously and doesn’t
make it easy for those of us that do care. We try to be as self
sufficient as possible with our yard and garden, and the 100 Mile
Diet isn’t an option in this area of BC because there’s not much
that can be grown or raised around here. We developed our own
little ecosystem and natural wildlife park in the middle of a town
and provide in any way possible for the birds and other creatures,
while helping the environment. And we believe in ‘doing what you
can’. It’s not always easy, or even practical to do things to help
the environment but you can pick your battles and you can do simple
things like, don’t run the water while you’re brushing your teeth,
turn one extra light bulb off in the house, water your lawns a
little less (better yet, plant trees and shrubs that are indigenous
to your area and that don’t need tender loving care), turn your
computer or other appliances off while not using them, walk the two
blocks to the store. There’s always something you can do, and do
without.

If you’re a lover of birds, and you’d like to
attract more of them to your yard while providing for them, plant
trees or shrubs that produce berries or other bird food. Provide
foraging opportunities, nesting and protection from prey. But most
important, offer a water feature – anything from a birdbath or a
pond. This is what they look for.

In British Columbia, we have a government
program called Nature Scape. They promote bird habitat, and
especially provided as corridors for birds to travel. Development
is causing habitat destruction and displacement of birds and other
wildlife. Sometimes to the point that they can’t even survive long
enough to get to greener pastures. They even want to see people who
live in apartments take part by providing a fruity or nutty shrub
and water. The more people who do this, the more corridors we can
provide. When you join, you are sent a package with all sorts of
nice big pamphlets with information on bird species and what they
eat, plant species that are indigenous to your area, habitat
information and tips to attract birds – all kinds of things.
Perhaps there’s something like this in your area?

This book was not particularly meant to be
‘advice’ for you, I was merely attempting to explain how we deal
with things and to give you a glimpse of life with our parrot,
Pickles. If you learned something though, that’s wonderful. If I
had to give any advice, it would be to spend as much time with your
birds as humanly possible. It’s worth it. Every bird is special in
their own way and I hope that everyone finds a way to connect with
their birds, to watch them closer, think deeper, relate better and
really get into their awesome little minds.

I don’t think I will be writing another book
like this, probably not for a few years anyway – but you never
know. If you enjoy Pickles’ FaceBook posts, you may be interested
in the next book, which will be nothing but his posts for the last
year – the ones written in this book are just a small portion of
the ones he’s done, with many more to come. At some point, maybe
this year, I would like to do a children’s book and perhaps next
year, I will do a book for older children. All Pickles related, of
course.

I’ll leave you with that little stinker’s
latest little episode, which took place this past weekend while I
was finishing the book …

Every year, in spring, the town of Logan Lake
has a community garage sale. It’s very successful and it draws
people from all surrounding towns. Every house that wants to
participate, submits their address to the district office and they
draw up a map of the town and distribute them. The event took place
yesterday, on a Saturday, and our neighborhood was bustling with
cars and pedestrians.

Neil and I were working in the yard –
cleaning up, mowing, planting seeds in the garden and painting the
roof of Pickles’ Aviary. The roof is clear plastic and Neil sprayed
a plastic paint to give Pickles more shade on one side. It was a
beautiful, warm sunny day so Pickles joined us outside. At first,
we weren’t going to bring him out right away because we had to work
in the back, where he can’t see us. We left him in the livingroom
and closed the screen door but because we kept walking by his
window to get tools and stuff, he flew to the couch to yell at us.
Every time we walked by, he banged on the window with his beak and
hollered “Anybody home? Speak!” We tried to ignore him but he
wouldn’t let us. We tried tapping on the window as we passed and
talking to him but that just got him more excited. “Want out!” he’d
holler. So we gave in and packed him out to the aviary.

New neighbors moved in across the street –
his buddy, Jeff The Whistler, moved two doors down and a family
with four kids took over. Pickles wasn’t out for two minutes before
the parents walked by with two kids walking and the other two
riding in little pull cars. Pickles got excited and started wolf
whistling – why, oh why did I ever teach him this when he was
young? It’s worse than walking by a construction crew of raunchy,
flirty men. And we
always
get the
blame!

I guess nobody warned them when they moved in
because they certainly didn’t seem amused. They didn’t look over,
they didn’t laugh, they all kept on walking, looking a little
uncomfortable.
Nobody
ignores Pickles. Each
whistle got louder and louder and now all the pedestrians from all
around the block, plus people driving by, glanced toward us.
Because our yard is circular on one side, and is on the corner of
two streets, the street wraps in the same circle so this poor
family had to endure the long walk all the way around. Half way
through, Pickles starts hollering “Potato Butt! Helloooo Potato
Butt!!”

Now, we have two choices when these things
happen. We can ignore everything or we can fight our way through
foliage, up to the fence and try explaining. But, being
anti-social, we don’t
want
to talk to
everybody that Pickles talks to. Now and then, fine, but not as an
ongoing job. So we just left things as they were. One day they’ll
figure it out.

The rest of the day, Pickles spent whistling
and calling people names - mostly Rat Baby and Bugger Butt with the
odd Poop Head thrown in. At least he doesn’t say Shit Head. At one
point, Neil was spraying the aviary roof so when Pickles gave a
shout-out to a man walking by, it was obvious to him that Neil was
on top of a cage with a bird. He must have still thought it was one
of us whistling and talking though, because he said, “Oh, I see you
raise pigeons. Nice.” Neil explained that it was a parrot, a
talking parrot, so the guy got all excited and asked if he could
come in the yard. This is what we try to avoid most times.
Sometimes we like to invite people in but today we were afraid it
would be just the beginning. But we said yes, and in he came.

He stood with his face right up to the
screen, peering in at Pickles, so Pickles climbed on to the screen
and hung face to face with him. “Does he bite?” he asked. “Yes,” I
said, “don’t stick your fingers inside”. So he bent over to grab a
stick and I said, “What are you doing?” He said he just wanted to
see if Pickles would play with it, or bite at it. I thought, well,
I guess there’s no harm in that so I didn’t disagree. He takes the
stick and starts poking Pickles in the belly – not hard, but poking
none-the-less. I snatched the stick from his hand and said, “What
are you, some kind of idiot?” He said he didn’t hurt the bird, I
said, “I don’t care. How do YOU like it?” as I started poking him
in the belly. He called me a bitch and left the yard before I could
kick him out. Man, some people are thick. Pickles was still
friendly though, he called out “Bye-bye, be right back!” so I had
to say “No, don’t”. Cuz I wasn’t sure if the guy thought it was
Pickles who said it, or me.

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