Picture Perfect #5 (13 page)

“I'm proud of you, Gracie. It was a really good idea for an experiment.”

“You know, Mom, it was my idea. Mine and Mari's,” Gracie admitted. “Mr. Ferrone didn't assign it, he's giving me extra credit for it.”

“Oh.” Her mother was quiet for a moment. “Well, good for you for taking initiative and getting some extra credit. I think we both learned something this weekend.”

Gracie grinned, relieved that she had finally told the whole truth. “Thanks for letting me come here, Mom. This has been the best weekend ever!”

Only Child vs. Multiple Children: A Case Study

This experiment began as a way to examine the life of a family very different from my own. I have a family of three. My best friend, Mari, has a family of seven. During my weekend away with this big family, I attempted to compare and contrast the two different experiences.

I noticed a lot of differences. For instance, with multiple siblings, you always have a friend. There is always a brother or sister around to play with, tell jokes with, or just hang around with. As an only child, I don't have a built-in friend in my house or my car all the time. I guess you could say that I am lonely, and kids in a multiple-sibling family aren't lonely.

However, just like you always have a friend in a big family, you also always have an enemy!
Siblings are not really enemies, but sometimes they can act that way. There is always a brother or a sister around to tease you, complain about you, laugh at you, or throw something at you. (One observation I made was that multiple siblings seem to enjoy throwing things at one another a lot.) Therefore, I'm lucky that I don't have a built-in enemy in my home, and a kid in a big family is not so lucky.

Based on these two observations, I concluded that it wasn't any better to have siblings than it was to be an only child, and it wasn't any worse, either. While it is nice to have a friend, it is annoying to have an enemy.

Another difference I noticed was that only children don't have to share as much as kids with lots of siblings. This is because a big family uses up a lot more resources than a small family. My house has only two bathrooms, but Mari's house has three. Even so, Mari has to share the bathroom and I don't. Mari's family eats through a lot more food than mine, a lot faster. Everything they do uses up more resources, like when it comes to hot water in the shower. In my family, we can each use as much hot water as we
want. In Mari's family, they have to share the hot water or it will run out.

I think they all eat fast because they're afraid the food will run out too. And they're right! It does run out. I developed a theory about sibling rivalry based on the idea that multiple siblings are all competing for the same scarce resources. They have food competitions in order to get the food before it's eaten. They have a lot of other kinds of competitions to get an even more important resource . . . attention. I get my parents' attention all the time—even when I don't want it—but the parents of multiple kids can't be involved in every single thing their kid does. The kid has to do something really bad to get attention! (Or really good, I guess.)

The biggest difference I noticed was that multiple siblings are used to being part of a group all the time. They don't seem to need privacy as much as an only child does. They are used to dealing with a lot of unexpected things happening, so they are more laid-back about things like schedules and rules, and getting dressed in the daytime.

Once I made notes about all of these
differences between only children and multiple children, I realized that I had done this entire project backwards! Instead of thinking about the differences, I should have been looking for ways that these two types of families are the same. The similarities are much more important than the differences, because they aren't small things like food and bathrooms. The similarities are big things, like these:

Only children respect their parents. So do multiple children.

Only children love their family members and want to spend time with them. So do multiple children.

Only children are who they are because of their families. So are multiple children.

Only children are who they are because of their friends. So are multiple children.

It doesn't matter if you are an only child or if you have a million siblings. As long as you are a good person, a good daughter or son, and a good friend . . . you are okay!

“I'm so sad we're leaving,” Gracie said the next afternoon. They'd spent the morning on the slopes, racing
with Mari's brothers. But when Juliana showed up, the three girls had taken a break from the competition and tried out a new trail together. It was so much fun that they did it two more times before they finally had to say good-bye. The weekend was over, and Juliana was heading back to New Orleans, but she'd promised to keep in touch by email.

After lunch, Gracie had helped Mari and her brothers remake the giant snowman, since he'd melted a lot during the sleet. It had been such a great time that she hated to stop playing, but the sun was sinking and they had a long drive home.

“Maybe you can come with us again next year,” Mari said. “Who knows what Kat will be doing? College girls have busy lives.”

“Or maybe you can come with my family on our ski trip,” Gracie suggested. “And then you can write a paper about how bored you are with only a quiet, small family.”

Mari giggled. “I would not be bored.”

“We'll see,” Gracie joked.

“Well, they're not the same weekend. Maybe we can do both!” Mari cried.

“The car is packed,” Mr. O'Hagan called. “That means there's just one more thing to do before we go.”

Mari, Jimmy, Robert, and Jon all groaned.

“What is it?” Gracie asked, worried.

“It's the family picture!” Ms. O'Hagan said, laughing. “They only pretend to hate it.”

“No, we really do hate it,” Robert said.

“It's so lame,” Jon agreed.

Gracie caught Mari's eye. “Is it?”

“Um . . . no, it's actually fun,” Mari admitted. “The twins just think it's uncool to be in a picture with your family. You know, it's embarrassing.”

Gracie rolled her eyes. “You guys spend every minute together having fun, but you don't want to be seen together?”

“They love it, you'll see. We put it on our holiday card every year,” Mr. O'Hagan said.

Ms. O'Hagan was busy setting up a camera on the roof of the minivan.

“Can we take it in front of the snowman?” Jimmy asked eagerly.

“You bet,” Mr. O'Hagan said. “Everyone line up.”

Even though they'd all complained, Mari and her brothers ran over to pose in front of the huge snowman, and Gracie laughed as they tried out a bunch of silly poses.

“Okay, we'll have thirty seconds from when I set the
camera,” Mari's mom announced. “Is everyone ready?”

Gracie backed up so she wouldn't be in the frame. They obviously didn't want a tagalong in their family photo.

Ms. O'Hagan set the camera, then ran over to the group in front of the snowman. They all linked arms and waited for the flash.

“Hang on, where's Gracie?” Jimmy asked.

“Gracie! Get over here!” Mari cried.

“But . . . it's just family,” Gracie said.

“That's why you need to be in it,” Mr. O'Hagan said.

“Hurry!” Mari yelled.

Gracie raced over and flung her arm around Mari's shoulders. She smiled her best smile for the camera . . . and then Jon and Robert suddenly began tickling her and Mari.

“Aaahhh!” Gracie and Mari screamed together, laughing, just as the camera clicked.

SNAP!