Pieces of Me (14 page)

Chapter 19

I returned to my apartment from Thanksgiving a day earlier than I had planned even though I wasn’t scheduled to work for the next couple of days. I couldn’t stand it anymore; I had to get out of that house, away from the constant looks of disappointment and pity on my mother's face every time she looked at me. I wasn't sure why she was so upset with me. She asked me how I felt, and I told her. I wasn't ready to face Sean’s family yet. I don't know if I ever will be.  So here I am, back early with absolutely nothing to do until tomorrow.  I decide to go to The Java Bean to pick up my check.

             
Mason didn’t have our checks ready yet so instead of leaving only to come back an hour or two later, I decide to stay and wait. I brought my laptop along with me so I curl up on one of the plush couches with the intent of wasting a couple of hours browsing Facebook and catching up on my favorite blogs. I even decide to venture out from my normal caramel iced coffee and order a Witches Brew, which still had caramel in it so I guess I'm not all that adventurous after all.

             
“Did you pay for that?” A deep, authoritative voice booms, causing me to jump out of my skin.

             
“Oh!” I gasp loudly, nearly spilling hot coffee down the front of my shirt. I jerk my head up to see who gave me such a start and realize that it is only Holden.  The panic is obviously still evident on my face because he starts cracking up. “Well, I’m glad you find yourself amusing jerk-face. You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

             
“Your face was priceless.” He grins wickedly. “What are you doing anyway?”

             
“Nothing.”

             
“Obviously, but why?”

             
“Because I like to?” My answer sounds more like a question. Holden leans over, peering at the bright screen and rolls his eyes.

             
“You’re a blogger?”

             
“No. I don’t have anything interesting to write about. I just like to read them.”

             
“Hmm, I see. Waiting for your check?

             
“Yeah.”

             
“They’re ready now.”

             
“Okay thanks.”

             
“Aren’t you going to go get it?”

             
“Nah, not yet.”

             
“Why?”

             
“Because I’m not ready to leave yet, Mr. Twenty Questions. I’ll just grab it on my way out.”

             
“Don’t you get enough of this place while you’re working?  Why in the world would you want to hang out here when you aren’t?”

             
“I don't know. There's really not much else to do in this town that I know of.”

             
“True.  In the spring the Movies in the Park start showing again. I spend most of the weekends that I'm not working there. You should come with me sometime.”

             
I remember the first time we saw each other, how I clumsily ran into him during my escape attempt.

             
“I don't know.”

             
“Do you have something against movies?” he asks with a teasing lilt to his tone.

             
“It's not that. Just some movies bring back, um, memories.”

             
“I see.”

             
He doesn't say anything else, but I know that he knows the reason behind my hesitation.
              “I'm sorry—.”

             
“You don't have to apologize. It's okay. I know you aren't ready yet. Just know that I'm perfectly content waiting patiently until you are.”

             
“Holden—” I'm not really sure what I want to say, but before I can find the words, he changes the subject.

             
“Crazy that there are only four weeks left in the semester, right?”

             
“Yeah. Have you enrolled for next semester yet?” I go along with the change because I know he's done talking about that. I find myself thinking of taking another science elective with a lab just on the off chance he might be the assistant.

             
“Yep. Hard to believe that it's my last one.”
              “Last one? What? You graduate this year?”

             
I didn't think he was that close to graduating and suddenly I'm sad at the thought of never seeing him again. I'm sure he's already been accepted into some Ivy League medical school. Of course, I’m sure he would still come back to visit his friends.  I'll just have to make sure I keep my job at The Java Bean.
             
Oh my God, Aria! Why are you even thinking about this?
I scold myself. Geesh, when did I start caring so much?

             
“Hello? Aria?” He waves his hands in front of my face and snaps me out of my melodramatic internal panic attack. “There you are. Where'd you go?”

             
“Nothing. Nowhere. Sorry. Just thinking,” I stutter. “So where will you go after you graduate?”

             
“I got accepted into the DO program at Worthington.”
              I shake my head. “Sorry, I don't know where that is.”

             
“It's about an hour away from here.”

             
“Oh, well that's not too far,” I say out loud, and immediately the blood rushes to my cheeks as I realize what I said.

             
His face brightens and I recognize his expression:
hopeful.

             
And it's impossible
not to allow some of his contagious optimism to slip its way into my heart.   

             
“So what are your plans for Winter Break?” he asks.

             
“I guess I'll go home for Christmas but my guess is that I'll only be able to stand it there for about a week tops before my mom will drive me crazy and I'll come running back to the quiet solitude of my apartment.”

             
“So you think you'll be back for New Years?”
              “Probably. Why? Will your mom need me here?”

             
“Nah, we're closed. But Beck is having a little shindig at his house. Do you think you might wanna come?” he asks nervously.

             
“Shindig?” I tease.

             
He laughs. “Yeah, I mean, I know Olivia will be there too so it shouldn't be too bad.”

             
“Okay, sure. I'll be there.”

             
“Great. I'll pick you up. It's too far for you to ride that bike of yours.” There's a teasing lilt in his tone but then he looks a little unsure and asks, “If that's okay?”

             
“It's a date.”

             
There I go again, spewing out words without thinking about what I’m saying.  I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot whenever I'm around Holden.

             
Although, I do believe if my mom was here, she would probably call it more of a Freudian slip.

Chapter 20

It feel likes finals were just yesterday—worst week of my life but after hours and hours of studying with Holden's help I managed to somehow pass biology. I went home for Christmas but only lasted until the day after before I was ready to return to school.
              I've been picking up extra shifts at The Java Bean to keep me busy until classes start up again in a few weeks but I'm off today. I'm pretty sure Holden arranged that so I wouldn't have an excuse to miss Beck's party.
              I hear him knock on the door so I grab my purse and do one last quick check to make sure I look okay.
              “Hey,” I greet him.
              “You ready?”
              “Yep.”
              I lock my door and follow him down the stairs to his car. He's driving the Explorer today.
              “No Piece of Crap today?”
              “Nah, couldn't get her to start. Too cold,” he explains. “And I figured you'd be more comfortable in a vehicle with a working heater.” He smirks at me.
              “I appreciate it,” I say. “Hey, did you get your schedule for next semester?”
              “Yeah. Nothing exciting—just the last few upper level classes I need to complete my degree. You?”
              “Mm-hm. Mostly core classes but I did enroll in an intro to genetics class,” I say casually, hoping that he offers to help me study again without me having to come right out and ask.
              “Oh yeah?” he asks. He cocks his eyebrow at me. “Thought you hated science?”
              “Let's just say, I have a new appreciation of the subject,” I reply coyly.
              “And do you think you've outgrown my tutoring?”
              “Definitely not.”
              “I was hoping you'd say that.” He smiles at me.
              He parallel parks on a side street lined with the typical large Victorian style houses that are abundant in this town. Most of the houses are still decorated for Christmas and it looks like something out of a movie.
              Beck lives with a few other guys that are all on the soccer team with him. Their house is very much a bachelor's pad.
              We spot Olivia and I start to make my way over to her but Holden stops.
              “I'll be right back,” he says.
              “Okay.” I continue to make my way towards the only familiar face in the house.
              There are a disgusting number of  neon beer signs plastered randomly all over the walls and in many of the windows. None of the furniture matches—there is an overabundance of ratty recliners and a lumpy futon in addition to the orange and brown plaid couch that looks straight up from the 1970s. A homemade beer pong table stands in lieu of a dining room table. There's even a lamp in the shape of a naked woman.  Nice.
              “You made it!” Olivia greets me with a one armed hug since her other hand is holding a beer. “Please tell me you didn't ride your bike all the way out here.”
              “No, Holden gave me a ride,” I explain. She and Beck exchange a look. Not sure what it means exactly, but they look pleased with whatever they're thinking.
              “Do you want something to drink?” Beck asks.
              “Um, yeah, sure. A Coke?”
              “That's it?”
              “Yes please.”
              He leaves to get my drink and I look around, wondering where Holden ventured off to. It's not like we came here together-together. Just because he gave me a ride, he is by no means obligated to hang out with me all night.  I’m just kind of surprised since he went out of his way to extend me an invitation and then insisted on picking me up to ensure that I would come.
              “A couple of us were talking about Spring Break. We're thinking about hitting up Myrtle Beach. Do you think you want in?” Olivia asks
              I've never been asked to go somewhere for Spring Break with friends. The few girls I talked to in school never invited me. I never knew if it was because we weren't really friends or if they already assumed I had other plans.
              “Um, yeah, sure I'll think about it,” I tell her.
              She claps excitedly and says, “Chelsea's uncle has a beach house there that she said that we can stay at.”
              She continues telling me all about Chelsea's uncle's beach house and all the things to do in Myrtle Beach. She's obviously really excited about it but I barely hear another word out of her mouth. I'm a little distracted when a drop dead gorgeous girl who is pawing all over Holden suddenly catches my eye.
              She's tall, taller than even Olivia, and curvy with long black curls that tumble down her back almost to her waist. She has wide green eyes and impossibly long, black eyelashes. She's pretty in an exotic princess way; so perfectly stunning that she doesn't look real.
              I'd hate her even if she wasn't hanging all over Holden.              
              “Who's that?” I can't help but ask. Olivia turns to see who I'm staring at.
              “Oh, that's the bitch,” she states matter-of-factly.
              “Who?”
              “Meredith,” she says flatly. “The dumb bitch. Who the
hell
cheats on a guy like Holden?”
              “How do you know all this stuff?” I ask her, completely dumbfounded by the plethora of knowledge Olivia always seems to possess in regards to campus gossip.              
              “I live in the dorms. I know everything.”
              “Are they back together?” I ask.
              Olivia just shrugs.
              “I'm not one hundred percent sure. I mean, I knew she was in town again to visit but—”
              I don't hear the rest of what she says. I'm surprised at how much it bothers me. I mean, yeah, we made out in the storage room at work and yeah he comes over almost every night to help me study and yeah he invited me to this damn party but never once has he ever implied that we are a couple so theoretically I shouldn't be this bothered by it.
              But I am.
              Beck returns with my drink.
              “Maybe Beck knows something,” Olivia says to me before asking Beck, “Are Holden and Meredith back together?”
              He scoffs, “God no. He can't stand that bitch. She keeps showing up at his house so he's been staying here a lot lately.”
              “It looks like they are back together,” I point out.
              Beck follows my gaze. “Ah
hells
no.”
              He walks over to where Holden is being mauled by Meredith and pulls him forcibly away from her by his elbow saying loudly, “Back the fuck off you whore. Stop spreading your gonosyphiherpeaids.”
              Meredith's face burns red as she just stands there, open-mouthed in shock. She stomps her little foot indignantly then spins around on her heel, almost stumbling as she makes her way down the hall and slams the front door behind her. Beck has just earned himself some cool points in my book.
              Holden looks visibly relieved by her exit which makes me feel better. A small part of me is finally willing to admit that I obviously care about him as more than just a friend.  I would have no reason to feel jealous if that wasn’t the case.
              “Where did you go?” I ask when Holden gets close enough.
              “I was coming out of the bathroom when she ambushed me,” he explains.
              “Oh.”
              “Did you miss me?”
              I roll my eyes and scoff, “Hardly.” I think he sees through my facade though because he's smiling down at me wistfully.
              The four of us find a place to sit together and visit, and the conversation flows comfortably as if we’ve been friends forever.  Eventually, others make their way into our little circle and join in on the banter. Some of them continue to discuss plans for Spring Break which I think is a little premature since we're still on Winter Break but I guess since most of them will have to buckle down to save up for the trip, it will take a little planning. Olivia is even considering getting a second job. Right now she waits tables at a local pub in the evenings so I'm not sure when she'd even have time to pick up a second job.
              Soon I find myself falling into easy chatter with the rest of them. I don't feel so out of place with Olivia by my side. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious and she isn't the kind of girl to do all the talking. She makes sure to give others their turn as well and I notice she seems genuinely interested in what other people have to say. You would think she'd be the kind of girl who would talk over you just so she can say what she wants to say but it's not like that at all.
              I'm glad that I came and actually stayed for this party. It really isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
              “I'll be right back,” I tell them.
              “Where are you going?” Olivia asks.
              “I just need another drink.”
              “Me too. I can go grab them?” Holden says it like he's asking a question, as though he's waiting for my permission to get me a drink.
              “I don’t know. Isn’t it a rule that you’re not supposed to drink anything that you didn't pour yourself at a party?”
              “Are you afraid I'm going to drug you?” He smirks.
              I pretend to think about it for a minute before finally saying, “No, I think I’m convinced that you can be trusted.”
              “Be right back.” He grins.
              Beck and Olivia exchange another look and this time I'm certain it has something to do with me and Holden. I choose to ignore them.
              “10...9...8...” the room suddenly begins chanting in chorus. Oh no. My heart begins to pound and my eyes frantically dart around the room trying to see what time it is, but between the beer signs and naked girl posters there's no wall space left for a good old-fashioned clock.  It doesn’t matter; the countdown to midnight has obviously begun. 
              I take a deep breath and try to focus on anything and everything except the inevitable expectations of that first kiss of the New Year. Maybe I can sneak out of the room.  I start to back away to make my escape, but a force from behind me stops me.
              I turn to apologize and find myself facing an amused Holden holding our drinks.
              “Now this is d
éjà vu,” he says with
a pointed look.
              “7... 6...5...” The partygoers continue counting down to the infamous ball drop which I now see playing live on the television in the room.  The tension in the air is building in anticipation and my heart is thumping right along with it.

             
Holden sets down the cups on the closest ledge, then cautiously places his hands around my waist stepping close enough that I can feel his heart beating through his chest. My heart is racing so fast I begin to feel lightheaded; I feel safe encased in his strong arms and I take a deep breath, inhaling the sweet, musky fragrance of his cologne mixed in with the lingering scent of Wintergreen gum on his breath.

             
I suddenly wish that I had thought to bring gum as well.

             
“4...3...2.”

             
He leans in closer, whispering in my ear, “Happy New Year, Aria.”

             
I closed my eyes tightly and—

             
“1!”

             
I feel his lips barely brush my own but it's enough to send shivers down my spine. I open my eyes and he pulls back, a small smile playing on his lips.

             
I can't speak. I can't turn away

             
Something about the way he's looking into my eyes makes me feel like he can see all the broken pieces of me and he wants to be the one to put them back together again.